Can we have a proper discussion about the way some threads go?

(141 Posts)
MissStrawberry Mon 24-Jun-13 17:59:05

I am posting after reading an upsetting thread where someone has an unusual problem and are threatening suicide.

I am really embarrassed at the amount of people who are troll hunting, goading and generally acting like they know this is a piss take and are posting accordingly.

We are all meant to be adults but the posters mentioned are acting like immature idiots to my mind.

While I accept no one can make someone do anything they don't want too, it is proven that on line bullying can make someone tip over the edge and take their own life.

What is this was your child, your husband, your wife, your mother, your friend, your child's friend? Wouldn't you want them to be helped, guided and supported?

It does not matter to you if this person is genuine or not but if they are and they die what then if it turns out it is your child, your sister, your neighbour?

If you post a genuine reply on a difficult thread and it is someone taking the piss it does not matter. It you post a genuine reply on a thread that someone is piss taking on it could help someone else.

If you post a cruel or goading thread on a thread that is genuine then you could be adding to their already fragile situation and while you will move on and not give it a second thought it really could mean the end for someone else.

I expect plenty of, it is their own choice, no one can make anyone do anything they don't want too, there must be other issues, etc etc etc but if you are that dismissive and care so little why post at all?

Mental health is not understood by so many people. Even now people say pull yourself together and think you choose to be depressed. Emotional problems the same but while there are supposed adults posting such disgraceful crap I fear for everyone who suffers now and in the future.

One day your child could be posting for help. How would you feel if they were ripped to shreds?

MNHQ - I think you need to have someone permanently on a thread like that as there are many posts on that particular thread that really should be have gone hours ago.

I think threads like that should be locked and the OP directed towards rl sources of support.

That would have 2 results 1) to make it not worth a Troll's while to say they are suicidal and 2) would be the most appropriate way for a genuine poster to get the help they need

usualsuspect Mon 24-Jun-13 18:11:07

I agree with Beertricks, lock the thread and email the OP with a list of places to get RL help.

Tee2072 Mon 24-Jun-13 18:12:13

What HQ will say: if you suspect a troll, report it. If someone is troll hunting, report it. Don't give more than you can afford, emotionally or monetarily.

usualsuspect Mon 24-Jun-13 18:14:45

I would want my child to be directed towards RL help

MissStrawberry Mon 24-Jun-13 18:14:53

Brilliant idea Beer. Sensible, no drama and easy for people to follow.

Tee - I know they will say that but it doesn't work. People still troll hunt and MNHQ are too slow to delete those particular posts. They also leave too many eluding to what was said in the deleted post so you can guess.

Tee2072 Mon 24-Jun-13 18:18:38

I didn't say it did!

I am pretty sure they have also said previously that they can't be responsible for directing people to help.

It's a problem all support sites share.

They also leave great big massively obvious Troll posts up which disturb, upset and set poster against poster.

MN as a site isn't equipped to handle threads where OPs are threatening suicide. Nor are the vast majority of the members, however empathetic they may think they are.

The ones who do know wtf they are talking about tend to avoid Troll threads altogether and stress the importance of seeking rl help.

MissStrawberry Mon 24-Jun-13 18:26:50

Tee - apologies if you thought I was being rude to you.

I think saying they can't be responsible is a cop out. They have banners saying - not a fight club (AIBU), something about not advertising for nannies/jobs (child care topic), etc etc so I am sure they can be more proactive about actually showing they want to support and help parents as they say they do.

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 24-Jun-13 18:30:40

The current advice on dealing with suicidal people is:
Engage with the person.
Encourage the person to seek support.

Locking the thread would be contrary to this advice.

The current advice on dealing with trolls is not to give them the oxygen of attention.

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 24-Jun-13 18:40:47

According to MN, when dealing with trolls, report and ignore. This is great advice.

The difficulties come whenever the guidelines are ignored.

Dione whose advice is that?

We need to be really careful to not commit Mners to a course of action like engaging with a person who says, a random stranger remember, that they are suicidal

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 24-Jun-13 18:46:34

Assist Suicide First Aid.

Allowing the thread to stand is not committing anyone to any action. It is simply enabling the line communication to stay open. This is the recommended course of action.

The main difficulties come when MNHQ misplace their copy of The Big Book Of Trolls: How To Spot Them And What To Do When You Do.

But Dione, that leaves the lines open to any Thomasina, Dacia and Harriet who can write whatever the fuck they like to a person who may be genuine.

It also leaves the lines open to posters who give Trolls wank fodder.

GobbySadcase Mon 24-Jun-13 18:50:07

It's a triggering thread. The level of detail about how the poster has prepared to make it look more 'spectacular'...

Keep telling myself to stop reading... But there's stuff there that should be deleted whilst not removing the info to assist support.

Has his name been removed? Cos people were googling...

MissStrawberry Mon 24-Jun-13 18:52:00

His name was on there more than once.

If MNHQ actually deleted once they were reported and not left for hours it would help.

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 24-Jun-13 18:52:03

No Beer, the main difficulties cone when posters decide to ignore the guidelines to report, ignore their own instincts that this is a troll and blunder on in regardless.

Agree with everything Beer says. Generally and specifically.

Do you mean the emotionally vampiric posters who seem to revel in the drama, Dione?

Tee2072 Mon 24-Jun-13 18:55:44

I have to ask, as I haven't seen this particular thread, but what time of day was it first reported? And have HQ responded on thread?

HQ is not 24/7 and they don't have millions of staff. I think people expect immediate action no matter when they report and it's just not always possible.

GobbySadcase Mon 24-Jun-13 18:56:25

About 11.30 this morning, Tee

HQ replied saying they had no reason to delete the thread.

Tee2072 Mon 24-Jun-13 18:57:41

So, really, mostly over lunch time?

And have HQ responded at all?

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