Mumsnet Talk

Never done it, think I should...

But where to start?

Anyone brave enough to share?

Please

literotica.com is good for ideas

just give it a go if you want to - what is stopping you?

presumably you mean in private anyway!

I feel too silly doing it, hence I don't

I have a phobia about talking dirty. Don't think I could ever do it . <<<off to check out literotica>>>

Mud, lots and lots of thick, hot, clinging mud.

Slip on my hot mud, big boy. Fill me with some of your sticky tilth, let me see your sticky clay. Let me fondle your soft , yealding clay.

Oh god, chipping, tonnes and tonnes of chipping , groan

What's stopping me is having no idea what to say. I'm sooo embarrassed! But want to be brave enough!

Off to look a literotica. Thanks

pmsl mb

mb certainly seems experienced at this ... are you a science teacher/phone sex operator perhaps?

(How good are you at basic physics btw? Something is bothering me ... I'll start another thread soon.)

I'm a biologist, but I have taught physics to GCSE and have an A level in it...... But be gentle with me!

just think about what you would never be comfortable saying ...and then say it!

Job done

why are you interested - does dp crave this?

greasy diry dishes, laundry stained with babysick,sour milk in the teat of an anyway up cup.......give it to me now!

Well, this is all very amusing, but I thought MNers might know a bit more about this - maybe there are more people like me than I thought...

mousie - I thought it might be a useful skill

So, anyone else?

Is it planned to say it on the telephone or face to face in bed?

Oh, errr, either. Does it make a difference, Xenia?

erm.. I just wrote a paragraph but then deleted it as far to filthy for mn and would have got deleted.

you can mail me if you like though...

otherwise I would just say something like 'you wanna suck his cock' but more graphically.. and some thing about you being hot and wet for him... blah blah.. men are simple creatures. it's very easy once you get going...

what about.... 'I have an ache between my legs that only you can sort out....'!

He might spray Ralgex on her if she said that!

Why not just say what you want, what you want to do, what you want him to do? It's not rocket science ... or even GSCE physics.

Seriously, whatever dirty talk someone else tells you would just feel fake - just say what you want, but say it directly and without cutsey words.

Agree with Mascara - men are simple creatures (grin), so just saying anything that makes them feel like the biggest and best you've ever had will probably suffice

obv that should be , not (grin)!!!!!