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Talking dirty - what do you say?

(98 Posts)
innocent Sat 10-Mar-07 19:40:31

Never done it, think I should...

But where to start?

Anyone brave enough to share?

Please

NutterlyUts Sat 10-Mar-07 19:41:05

literotica.com is good for ideas

mousiemousie Sat 10-Mar-07 19:42:50

just give it a go if you want to - what is stopping you?

presumably you mean in private anyway!

MrsFish Sat 10-Mar-07 19:43:31

I feel too silly doing it, hence I don't

Stiller Sat 10-Mar-07 19:44:40

I have a phobia about talking dirty. Don't think I could ever do it . <<<off to check out literotica>>>

FioFio Sat 10-Mar-07 19:46:29

the dishwasher is blocked again
get on your knees and scrub

Blandmum Sat 10-Mar-07 19:46:48

Mud, lots and lots of thick, hot, clinging mud.

Slip on my hot mud, big boy. Fill me with some of your sticky tilth, let me see your sticky clay. Let me fondle your soft , yealding clay.

Oh god, chipping, tonnes and tonnes of chipping , groan

FioFio Sat 10-Mar-07 19:47:24

mb

Saturn74 Sat 10-Mar-07 19:47:33

innocent Sat 10-Mar-07 19:48:43

What's stopping me is having no idea what to say. I'm sooo embarrassed! But want to be brave enough!

Off to look a literotica. Thanks

mamama Sat 10-Mar-07 19:50:00

pmsl mb

Nockney Sat 10-Mar-07 19:52:55

mb certainly seems experienced at this ... are you a science teacher/phone sex operator perhaps?

(How good are you at basic physics btw? Something is bothering me ... I'll start another thread soon.)

Blandmum Sat 10-Mar-07 19:53:45

I'm a biologist, but I have taught physics to GCSE and have an A level in it...... But be gentle with me!

mousiemousie Sat 10-Mar-07 19:59:00

just think about what you would never be comfortable saying ...and then say it!

Job done

mousiemousie Sat 10-Mar-07 19:59:41

why are you interested - does dp crave this?

greasy diry dishes, laundry stained with babysick,sour milk in the teat of an anyway up cup.......give it to me now!

innocent Sat 10-Mar-07 20:50:24

Well, this is all very amusing, but I thought MNers might know a bit more about this - maybe there are more people like me than I thought...

mousie - I thought it might be a useful skill

So, anyone else?

Judy1234 Sat 10-Mar-07 20:53:30

Is it planned to say it on the telephone or face to face in bed?

innocent Sat 10-Mar-07 20:57:05

Oh, errr, either. Does it make a difference, Xenia?

MascaraOHara Sat 10-Mar-07 21:10:03

erm.. I just wrote a paragraph but then deleted it as far to filthy for mn and would have got deleted.

you can mail me if you like though...

otherwise I would just say something like 'you wanna suck his cock' but more graphically.. and some thing about you being hot and wet for him... blah blah.. men are simple creatures. it's very easy once you get going...

chenin Sat 10-Mar-07 21:12:19

what about.... 'I have an ache between my legs that only you can sort out....'!

Blandmum Sat 10-Mar-07 21:13:07

He might spray Ralgex on her if she said that!

Nockney Sat 10-Mar-07 21:18:49

Why not just say what you want, what you want to do, what you want him to do? It's not rocket science ... or even GSCE physics.

Seriously, whatever dirty talk someone else tells you would just feel fake - just say what you want, but say it directly and without cutsey words.

detoxdiva Sat 10-Mar-07 21:23:18

Agree with Mascara - men are simple creatures (grin), so just saying anything that makes them feel like the biggest and best you've ever had will probably suffice

detoxdiva Sat 10-Mar-07 21:23:57

obv that should be , not (grin)!!!!!

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