Hi all. I think this is my first post - I've been lurking for years.
My husband is a liar. Not earth-shattering, life-changing lies, but lots of small lies.
Tonight, for instance, he's meant to be running a singing group (a paid group, he gets £5 per person). It's only the second week it's been on, yet he told me when he got home from work at 6.15pm (the group is at 7.30) that it's been cancelled because the venue overbooked. I thought it seemed a bit fishy, so after dinner I looked at his Facebook messages - I know, I know, I am in the wrong for that one - and I found that he'd told the whole singing group a lie; that he'd lost his voice so couldn't attend!
It's not the first time he's done this. A few weeks ago he was meant to be performing in town for a free gig. He was feeling tired so he told me that he let the guy running it know that he wasn't going to be able to make it... I found out later that he'd told the guy he had to take our son to hospital!!! The guy posted on Facebook that he hoped our son made a speedy recovery!
He has also lied to me in the past, mostly about money. For instance, earlier this year he didn't tell me that he had about £1,000 on credit cards from over-spending at Christmas. When he did eventually tell me it was only because I was trying to work out our monthly bills and how we'd survive because I was on maternity leave and he'd just lost his job. And when we first got together a few years ago he was getting some letters from bailiffs saying he owed £300, £600, £500s etc. He lied and said it was all a mistake - it came out a couple of years later when we were trying to buy a house that this was all correct and he had an atrocious credit score. I had to bail him out over £2.5k so we could buy our house.
I can't think of many other specific cases, but it's just little things: "I forgot" when he just couldn't be bothered; "They didn't have any in stock" when he didn't even go to the shops; "It was in the sale" when it was vastly over-priced; "[Our son] wasn't hungry" when he didn't think to feed him lunch... Eventually most of these lies come out because I'm observant and have a good memory, and he forgets which lies he's told. Most of the time I don't bother mentioning when I know he's lying.
I'm looking for some advice here. Do I confront him about his lying? It puts me in a difficult position because I can never trust what he says! We are married and have a mortgage, so if he gets in lots of debt it will negatively affect us both (and our son!).
What would you do? I am armed with so please say what think about this situation. Thank you!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
My husband can't stop lying
ralice · 22/08/2016 19:54
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.