Kik - what's it all about

[MilkshakeMonkey]

So, yesterday when needed a calculator quickly, I grabbed DH s iPhone and in my hurry swiped right and I saw on his recent used apps he had Kik.

I know nothing about Kik except it's some kind of message app, which I believe has had press for being used anonymously to flirt? (Please feel free to tell me I'm wrong)
We both use whatsapp to message (each other and friends) as phone reception is poor in our area and it uses wifi. So I'm a bit confused why he would have Kik as well? (And it's not been mentioned)

Anyway, I looked back later and it wasn't there (on recent or any icon). Does it have an icon normally?

So, does anyone know much about it?
(Before I get ear bashing about how I should just talk to him, I just need to get my head around it first if it is something I need to worry about)

[ZestyMaximus]

Never used it or even heard the name much but that may be because it's Canadian. A simple Google search found this though: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kik_Messenger

[littleniki]

Iv used kik when online dating. Much like what's app but to link to people you use a username rather than phone number. Very often used when online dating as don't have to give away your phone number and be hassled all the time by people when you find out there idiots. If he's deleted it then when he re-adds it I think everyone he's chatted to will reload up with it as mine did that when used years ago.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. All the best

[Kevintheminion]

As littleniki says, it's a discreet messaging app which he can effectively turn on and off - blocking people will allow him to hide anyone who he has been messaging so you couldn't accidentally find them when you accessed his phone for example. He could then look them up again, unblock them and continue chatting. Is his phone left unlocked? You are rightly suspicious.

[Fellytone]

My husband used this app to "chat" to random women. He posted his username on a site with people looking for "sexting" partners and went from there. When the app is uninstalled all the messages are deleted but your "contacts" remain.

I'm not saying this is what your DH is using it for. Just giving my experience with it.

[Starrynights03]

Yes as others have said. I've only ever used this as part of online dating as less risky than whatsapp as you don't have to give out your number, just a user name. It's an app you download, so yes it would be an icon on the phone. Similar to whatsapp inasmuch as you can send photos/videos for free. As others have said i deleted the app, and when I reinstated it months later all my old chats were still on it, so technically I suppose if you really wanted to conceal something, you could just install and uninstall the app as and when x

[cantthinkofanythingwitty]

We use it in lecture at uni. We use it to send messages to the lecturer if it's an interactive type class

[SandyY2K]

It's an app often used by people having affairs as there is no message trail.

[TheDuchyOfGrandFenwick]

I use kik. It's just a messaging app. I use it to talk to friends from the internet because I dont want to give out my phone number. Nothing to do with sex chat/affairs etc

[SandyY2K]

Kik isn't designed to create bad behavior, but that happens on anonymous apps.

Several BSs discover that kik has been used as a secret means of communication, but it doesn't mean that is definetly the case.

Unlike texting it doesn't show on the phone bill.

Look at all other behaviours and signs, not just this if you are thinking something is up.

[babba2014]

Oops lol I use it as a alternative to whatsapp as I don't want everyone who has my number also be able to whatsapp me soo I find the username thing better hence only having kik. So I use it to chat to my friends and family. Only way you'll know is if you look at the content.

[MilkshakeMonkey]

Sorry only just getting back, I got called into work last night at the last minute.

Ok, so if it innocent, he could be using it as a work messager app. Which would make sense as he doesn't like giving his personal mobile out to work. So maybe using it like that.

But then if that's the case, why has it been deleted??

His phone is locked but he knows I know the password (it's more to stop the kids using the games on his phone without asking first!). I would only normally access his phone for random things like, the calculator or take a pic of the kids if they are doing something 'in the moment' and his phone would be to hand. But these are few and far between.

I have possibly noticed he is a little more attached to his phone, so my opportunity to have a look will be more tricky. I haven't had an opportunity since I spotted app was missing. I will try and look again.

Other behaviour, I don't know, I don't want to over think it. I will keep an eye out though for odd behaviours.

So going back to the app. If I were to install it (to investigate how it works) I wouldn't be able to find him without knowing his user name? Or can I search for his number?

[MilkshakeMonkey]

Sorry, I'm back on because I've realised what all this could mean for me and my family (and I'm now a sobbing mess )

This could be break my family up, hurt my children. We are going on holiday next week, do I keep my mouth shut so that they have a happy holiday or confront him and possibly ruin what could be our last family holiday?
What if I confront him and its innocent and I look unhinged? I have a history of mental health issues and worry this feels like a trigger. What if confront him and he manages to conceal something (I could just be on the tip of the ice berg here couldn't I?) a I could just be tipping him off.

Sorry for the random rant, I need to off load and no one in real life I feel comfortable doing this with

[Chinks123]

Firstly op try not to get too upset until you've had a chance to speak to him. Not to make you feel worse but I only know of one person who used Kik and did so because it is easily deleted and fairly anonymous. Person in question picked up women on tinder and continued chat on Kik.

But your DP could be entirely innocent! The app being deleted is suspicious though, could he have got wind you saw it, did you click on it?
In my experience don't worry about looking unhinged, you don't need to start an argument. Just ask him causally, it's normal to see an app such as this and feel the need go ask about it (imo anyway) and I would.

[DeputyPecksBentBeak]

Personally, I would not be able, or prepared, to not do anything before the holiday. The wondering will drive you insane and if it is all innocent then you've worried and had a crap time away for nothing.

[Chinks123]

As for how to search for him it's by username (I think!) so you'd search eg chinks123. But as far as I know, finding him on there won't really show you anything.

[CotedePablo]

I'm a grandmother and installed Kik to chat with my little granddaughter, as her wee basic tablet doesn't support Whatsapp. It never occurred to me that anyone seeing the icon on my phone would think I'd be using it for nefarious means.
It could be he's installed it to try it out, didn't find it useful, and then uninstalled. If he's never given you any reason to doubt him before, perhaps that's all he's done.
I know I was looking for a Satnav app, and downloaded a few to try them out before sticking with my preferred one.

[MilkshakeMonkey]

I didn't click on it, because I was quickly trying to use the calculator (I was on the house phone to someone and needed to Add a few bits up)

I just feel like if I bring it up before holiday, I'm the one ruining holiday, causing the issue.

I've no idea what his user name would be.

[mickyblueyes]

I have Kik and I use it to message my 9yo daughter, never in a million years did I ever link the app to cheating, dating or as a means to 'hook up'!?

However the fact that the icon has disappeared and he is more attached to his phone is a little more concerning. What does you gut say?

[GrimmauldPlace]

When you say the icon wasn't there, had it completely gone off the phone or could it have been in a folder? Don't upset yourself. You say he doesn't like giving his number to people at work, so this would be the perfect way for him to contact colleagues. I gave my experience and obviously that was worse case scenario but as people have said above, there are also plenty of innocent reasons too.

With regards to whether you should ask him before your holiday or not. Do you think you'll be able to carry on as normal and enjoy your holiday without knowing either way?

[Chinks123]

Just wanted to say I agree with pp that maybe he downloaded, realised it wasn't what he wanted and deleted. He could also (negative thinking again) hidden the app. You know where you hold the app and it can be made into a folder with others so you can't see that icon anymore.
Hope that made sense?!

[MilkshakeMonkey]

Well when I went back to the phone later (when I couldn't see any icon) I tried spotlight search "Kik" and nothing came up, so I'm assuming it has been deleted and not in a folder.

As for my gut, I think the fact I'm on here shows it don't feel right. But I could be wrong and I don't want to cause a fight if I am. Part of me is tempted to say what I've seen, but I don't think he would tell me if he was acting inappropriately. Why would he? I have no proof he's done anything wrong, so why admit it if it can't be proven?

[wherearemymarbles]

What phone does he have? If its apple go to app store and updates. At the top you'll see purchases. Go into that and any app that had been loaded and deleted has a cloud icon next to it. If its still on the phone it says open. If its been deleted, and you have time then reload it read what you want and delete again. Imagine android has similar.

[wherearemymarbles]

Oh and to real load you dont need this app store password

[MilkshakeMonkey]

Yes is iPhone. I will try that at next opportunity. Thanks .

[SandyY2K]

Do not confront without evidence or he will simply deny again and again and make it look like you're going crazy (aka gaslighting). A form of mental torture. Google it.

Say nothing and act normal. If you tip him off he'll be on high alert and you'll find nothing. Right now he thinks you might have seen it but can't be sure. If you act normal he'll presume you didn't see it.

I'm going to send you a PM with more info.