Posting for advice as I'm not sure what to do or where to go next.
About 6 years ago I found out that dh had not being paying the mortgage and had run up debts of £25,000. This had been happening over a period of 2 years, but he didn't tell me or give me any signs that we were struggling. I found out when I opened a letter from the mortgage people.
Cue lots of upset and me feeling like I couldn't trust him. He says he was trying to protect me. I took over paying for the mortgage (I had recently returned to work after looking after our 3 children) and both our parents helped us clear the arrears.
Dh took an extra job- a couple of evenings and his parents gave him a monthly amount and over time he cleared the debt.
Last year, he said he only had a small amount outstanding, so we decided to move house. Everything was sorted, mortgage advisor said despite previous debts it was all good. However (you guessed it) at the last minute we couldn't get a mortgage because of outstanding repayments. Everything fell through, lost an amazing house and I was pretty devastated. Anyway, picked myself up made a plan to clear everything and try again the following year. So all paid off 2months ago and have just been waiting for the credit report to update. Dh told me this week that his credit score has gone further down, not up. He says this is because he now has no debt.
I'm desperate to move house - not for me but the kids. 5 of us in a 3 bed with my eldest (18) sharing with my youngest (12) and my middle child (6ft) in a tiny box room. They are desperate for space and privacy.
Because it is effecting them, I'm so upset and angry at Dh. We're trapped despite having a good combined income (70k).
On some levels, I know it's not his fault- I should have been more on the ball and he's tried to sort things. He's a good dad, loves me too much and does more than his fair share, but I can't stop feeling angry with him.
I guess I'll have to take out some sort of loan and extend the house, but I didn't want the upheaval with 2 children in exam years.
Thanks for reading if you've got this far- any advice?
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Relationships
So angry with dh- can't move house
mrsmoustache · 22/05/2016 20:03
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