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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

New GF is insane

95 replies

YellowTangerine · 22/09/2015 11:06

My XDP has got a new partner about 2 weeks ago. We haven't spoken since and last night I received an email with a really horrible picture. He has my name tattooed on his chest and the new girlfriend had wrote die slut above it. She also drew her hand around it and sent me the picture with her middle finger up against his chest. Wouldn't usually be bothered but he is now asking to see DD. She has her own child but when she is acting like that I don't want my DD around her. Ex won't see DD without her. Borderline harassment from her and EX. What should I do?

OP posts:

Report

BastardGoDarkly · 22/09/2015 11:08

Oh lord, wtf is he thinking? I wouldn't allow contact unless it was without her either. If he'd rather not see his daughter, then leave the new gf out of it, he doesn't deserve to see her.

ImperialBlether · 22/09/2015 11:09

No. They don't get to see your child. No fucking way.

Let him take it to court and you can show the court the photo and all correspondence. Make sure you don't answer the phone so he's forced to send texts.

Scarydinosaurs · 22/09/2015 11:11

You need to make an appointment at your local police station and get that logged as harassment. Sadly, these things tend to escalate, and that is a disgusting message to send the mother of your child.

Really feel for you, OP.

molyholy · 22/09/2015 11:12

Agree with Imperial, refuse and let him take you to court. He is refusing to see his DD without his mad new GF after 2 weeks!!!!! No way would I allow this!

YellowTangerine · 22/09/2015 11:14

He had my DD around her within 2 days of meeting her. I was unaware and foun out a few days after that had happened. He's messaging saying how I'm a bad mum an messing DDs future up etc. I'm only concerned about DD

OP posts:

gamerchick · 22/09/2015 11:14

Yup get it logged and maybe ask a policeman to have a stern word with the pair of them. Usually that is all that's needed.

But no there will be no passing any child inbetween that kind of shit for the minute, it's my fair.

Ring the police now.

gamerchick · 22/09/2015 11:14

*not

YellowTangerine · 22/09/2015 11:16

Should I call 111 or go down to the station?

OP posts:

BastardGoDarkly · 22/09/2015 11:18

Call initially, they may want to see you, but may not :)

Good luck, they both sound a bloody nightmare.

DowntownFunk · 22/09/2015 11:19

Agree that this has to be logged with police.

Who ARE these people that think this is an ok thing to do. Sorry you have such scum to deal with OP.

bjrce · 22/09/2015 11:21

I agree with the pp who say, inform the police (show email) and get them to have a word with both of them, how dare she!, when I read your post it actually made me shiver, there's no way you dc should be near her, she's a very dangerous person in my book, who on earth would go to the trouble of doing such a thing and not expect a reaction, one final thing do not engage with her, she appears to want to create drama, is your ex right in the head, having anything to do with a one like that? The mind boggles

YellowTangerine · 22/09/2015 11:21

He's always been extremely emotionally abusive but since having DD my tolerance for this is none existent. I haven't got time for the childish mind games

OP posts:

TheSilveryPussycat · 22/09/2015 11:24

101 is for police. 111 is health help line.

gamerchick · 22/09/2015 11:24

Well he's made a mistake leaving a paper trail hasn't he? Sending photos and abuse was silly. The police will take you seriously.

YellowTangerine · 22/09/2015 11:25

Oh thanks silver. Would have sounded a bit silly ringing 111 haha

OP posts:

ifonly4 · 22/09/2015 11:32

Phone police initially and make it clear you feel threatened (or however you feel), take a note of incident number or if your not given one, main of police person you spoke to, date, time etc. Keep the photos!

I wouldn't want my DD seeing this women (you don't know how she's going to be around your DD and I wonder how she lives her own life if she thinks that's acceptable), so refuse unless you can be sure he's doing something with her on his own. If he has access and goes back on his word, there won't be another time.

CloakAndJagger · 22/09/2015 11:35

What the hell is wrong with people? Seriously.

Log it for sure.

Justaboy · 22/09/2015 11:38

Go to the police. I think there is something in the digital communications act about passing abusive messages by such means.

Do it also because this might just be the start of a bigger problem and it might possibly nip it in the bud. Best of luck anyway!.

featherandblack · 22/09/2015 11:40

That is horrendous. I would be worrying that her abusive attitude to you would influence the way she interacted with your DD. I'd try going through the courts to prevent your DD having contact with her, but I don't know if there's any chance of success with that. Others will know better. How awful for you.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/09/2015 11:41

Over my dead body and not even then would I let this women anywhere near my child. No way in hell.
This women is clearly dangerous. I don't know about insane.. I'm not saying, she would harm your dd, but no way would I be taking that risk.

Geoff0409 · 22/09/2015 12:08

A total whackjob. Both of them. What do they possibly have to gain from doing this to you? Abusive is an understatement. Stick to your guns and keep records of everything. Good idea Imperial don't answer the phone and then he'll have to text. You could go to the police, tell them what has happened and go from there. At least it's on record then. Sorry to hear this, nobody should have to put up with this sort of vile behaviour.

YellowTulips · 22/09/2015 12:08

Who sent the picture? Him or her? Sorry it's not clear from your opening post.

What access arrangements do you have? Is it just agreed between you or via a court?

I would log with the police and get myself to a solicitor with a view to getting a legal letter stating you will withdraw contact a) with both of them if he sent the photo b) with his partner if she sent it and that if he allows contact with his new partner then he loses his access.

If he doesn't like that then he can get legal advice of his own on the matter and look to find someone who thinks his/her actions are remotely defendable.

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YellowTangerine · 22/09/2015 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justaboy · 22/09/2015 12:21

That's sick. Go to the police rightaway and make a complaint!.

Just do it !.

ImperialBlether · 22/09/2015 12:34

I'd get that photo taken off here, OP, just for your own safety and reassurance, and I'd take it to the police and log it with them. If he wants contact, he'd have to go through a contact centre and do it without her.

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