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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MNHQ have commented on this thread

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MNHQ have commented on this thread

Relationships

how can i run away from social servies ?

89 replies

Familyjustice2014 · 09/07/2014 01:14

how can we run away from social servies ?

or can we just change our names by deep poll and leave this city and live some where else ?

or could the police find us ?

we have a son toghther and we are just sick of social servies we want to run away

OP posts:

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wannaBe · 09/07/2014 01:16

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catinbootz · 09/07/2014 01:17

Don't be a dick

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Familyjustice2014 · 09/07/2014 01:18

we just wanna run away i just seen alot of people have runned away so im asking for help so u stop being a dick

OP posts:

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YouAreMyRain · 09/07/2014 01:19

If your girlfriend has contacted you, you need to tell the police and social services. (Going by your other thread) you have to prove that you are listening to social services.

If you try to run away your son will definitely be taken away from you.

You have had a lot of good advice on your other thread.

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Familyjustice2014 · 09/07/2014 01:22

she hasent contaced me but i have been told that social servies are going to get a an order and take our child

OP posts:

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wannaBe · 09/07/2014 01:23

op has another thread I see. not far under this one in active. unfortunately as it's nighttime I imagine mn hq are probably sleeping so probably best not to feed it in the meantime.

Op if you are for real (which I sincerely doubt) no-one on mumsnet is going to advise you how to run away from social services when you claim that your girlfriend tried to stab you in front of your baby and that you pushed her so are both blatantly in a violent relationship putting a young child at risk.
So it's pointless even starting a thread asking how - you won't draw the "social services are evil monsters" brigade out on this one. 0/10.

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OldLadyKnowsSomething · 09/07/2014 01:23

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2127489-social-servies-has-destroyed-our-family?msgid=all I also read your earlier thread, and agree you were given excellent advice on it; comply witb supervised access to your ds, keep your head down, and stop contact with your ex. You can't run away from this forever, you might have a few months "peace" but you'd always have The Fear in the back of your head.

GB is a tiny island, all things considered, where would you run to?

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YouAreMyRain · 09/07/2014 01:31

"We have a son together and we are sick of social services and we want to run away"

So you know that your girlfriend wants to run away with you even though she hasn't contacted you?

Read your other thread. If you want to stay in your sons life you need to have nothing to do with your girlfriend and do everything that SS asks.
If you run away you may never see your son again.

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SolidGoldBrass · 09/07/2014 01:34

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hashtagwhatever · 09/07/2014 01:35

You were given some great advice on your last thread.

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wannaBe · 09/07/2014 01:35

sgb.

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Familyjustice2014 · 09/07/2014 01:40

This reply has been deleted

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YouAreMyRain · 09/07/2014 01:43

Please ignore the name callers. You are clearly upset and in a difficult situation and have come come here for advice and support. Please read your other thread again, it makes a lot of sense.

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YouAreMyRain · 09/07/2014 01:43

Please ignore the name callers. You are clearly upset and in a difficult situation and have come come here for advice and support. Please read your other thread again, it makes a lot of sense.

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YouAreMyRain · 09/07/2014 01:51

SGB - nowhere has the OP mentioned using alcohol. As for calling him "thick" that is nasty, unnecessary and abusive and not actually a barrier to being a good parent even if it were true.

Wannabe - why be so nasty?

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Familyjustice2014 · 09/07/2014 01:55

well said youaremyrain they probley dont know what it is like and i dont wish this happens to any 1 even my worst enemy

OP posts:

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differentnameforthis · 09/07/2014 01:58

so u stop being a dick

No one is going to advise you with that attitude.

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wannaBe · 09/07/2014 02:05

well let's look at the evidence:

op starts a thread saying that his baby and gf have been removed, that social services are ruining his family because his gf tried to stab him and he retaliated resulting in the police being called. Anyone with an ounce of thought for their baby must surely realise that being in a violent home where one partner is capable of stabbing another is not a suitable place for a child, and that social services are involved not for the purposes of ruining his life but for the purposes of protecting a vulnerable child in a volatile situation.

Op has been told this on his other thread - numerous times - but instead of taking the advice on board he has instead started a new thread asking how he and his girlfriend (who tried to stab him but who is apparently not in touch with him) can run away from social services and whether the police would be involved.

And people are sympathetic? riiiight.

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2014 02:18

FamilyJustice - I have read your other thread, and have some idea of what is going on for you right now.

I am no expert, but I am absolutely sure that running away with your girlfriend and the baby would be the worst possible thing you could do. As you have been advised on the other thread, you need to cooperate with social services - if you run away with the baby, they will not see this as a wonderful, Disney story of a family that just wants to be together - they will see it as proof that you are not prepared to work with them, by their rules.

It could well be seen as you putting your baby in danger - clearly they think the relationship between you and your girlfriend is unsafe, otherwise they would not have taken the steps you have described on the other thread.

Running away with the baby will look very, very bad in their eyes. They could decide to institute care proceedings, and take the baby away from both of you, and place him in foster care. They could even decide to place him for adoption, if they decided the family set up with you and your girlfriend was sufficiently dangerous and toxic.

If you do run away with your girlfriend and the baby, you will be giving them evidence to use against you. It will be a huge black mark on your record, and that would be a shame, given all you say you have done (charity shop volunteering, counselling etc).

Don't do this - it is the worst possible move.

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GrannyOnTheSchoolRun · 09/07/2014 02:29

The OP was treated disgracefully at the start of this other thread as well as this one for the simple fact he's a man and it was automatically assumed he must be the abuser or a troll.

Granted this talk of running away from SS isn't the right thing to be thinking about but he sounds desperate and scared and we're all allowed our daft moments when desperate and scared.

There are some very ugly comments from some very ugly people on this and the other thread.

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YouAreMyRain · 09/07/2014 02:30

Well said granny

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2014 02:31

Whether that is true or not, Granny, I think what matters now is that he is dissuaded, in the strongest possible terms, from taking a step that will cause him huge problems with social services - that could lead to him losing his child for good.

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GrannyOnTheSchoolRun · 09/07/2014 02:46

Yikes, Im not saying its ok to run away, I'm saying we are entitled to our daft thoughts when feeling desperate and scared - as long as they remain daft thoughts and nothing else.

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ThatVikRinA22 · 09/07/2014 02:46

i see this depressingly familiar situation all the time. social services didnt destroy the family.....the parents did that when they tried to stab each other, when the violence offered caused police to get involved....when a non molestation order required.

should a baby be subject to this? day in. day out?
police and social services are there to protect and help....not just enable parents to virtually kill each other in front of their children with a pat on the back and a bit of a hug.

social services/police are involved for a reason.

wake up.
op - stop blaming everyone else. this is a situation of your own making - social workers are stretched to the limits - they dont get involved for the fun of it.

there is an obvious child protection issue. address that and you may stand a chance.
keep blaming others and bury your head in the sand and you will lose your child

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MexicanSpringtime · 09/07/2014 02:50

OP. It does sound as if your baby is not safe with you and your girlfriend as things stand. My granddaughter endured her father screaming at her mother over her head when she was two months, my daughter split up with him as a consequence but the baby was still affected for two or three week afterwards. And that is a relatively small thing to attempted stabbing and pushing.

You want the best for your child and the best thing you can do for your child is to take those courses of parenting and suchlike so that you can be a better parent and SS can see your intention of improving.

A child is for the long-haul, take the time to put things right.