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I did this before but let's do it again today

(167 Posts)
Ledkr Wed 12-Feb-14 08:55:05

Things you have done or achieved since a break up to inspire anyone in a painful place.
Ill start.

Went on holiday abroad with just my dc,
Danced on a beach till dawn in Ibiza.
Lost three stone.
Had long dark hair cut into a blonde bob.
Had a lot of sex.
Reconnected with or made loads of lovely friends.
Drank beef in the bath.
Had weetabix for tea.
Went to lots of festivals with or without dc.
Laughed and laughed.
Traded in the family saloon for a golf convertible.
Got much closer to my children.

I could go on.
Share your stories to help others see there is life after heartbreak.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 12-Feb-14 08:56:19

You can drink beef?! Kudos...

Covalone78 Wed 12-Feb-14 08:57:48

Love the beef drinking

Ledkr Wed 12-Feb-14 08:58:19

blush yes of course you can, don't you know anything cog?

grin

Ledkr Wed 12-Feb-14 08:58:56

Anyway come on, share!

Went on holiday with my mum and had a lovely time.
Met someone younger, hotter and lovelier smile
Felt unburdened and free.

captainmummy Wed 12-Feb-14 09:03:10

I travelled - europe, south africa, iceland (australia next!). Alone and with the dc.
Had my hair cut short one side, long the other.
Rekindled my language studies.
Bought my lovely house,did an extention, redecorated, gardened..

Things to do - drink beef in the bath...

BitOutOfPractice Wed 12-Feb-14 09:03:40

Swam with dolphins
Survived a hurricane (literal not figurative!) all by myself
Had lots of mindless and strong-free sex
Lost weight
WEnt to lots of gis and festivals
Discovered MN
Went to Rome, Spain and France with the kids
Didn't bother cooking when I didn't want to
Went out with friends and laughed
Stayed up all night
Bought a hot tub
Got back into running
had fun

Lots more - I'll come back to it!

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 12-Feb-14 09:03:44

- Successfully coped with severe financial hardship, paid off all the debts exH kindly left me with and still kept hold of the house.
- (linked) Doubled my salary inside 12 months as I 'threw myself into my work'
- Travelled the world independently and worked in several other countries
- Enjoyed mashed swede again (he hated it)
- Made a whole new set of friends through a musical venture
- Gave birth to a lovely DS (nothing to do with ex) and raised him solo
- Stopped feeling anxious at social events because exH wasn't there to get pissed, insult people and generally make a tit of himself.
- Have embraced independence!

BitOutOfPractice Wed 12-Feb-14 09:04:12

YY I'm adding water-based beef drinking to my list too

BitOutOfPractice Wed 12-Feb-14 09:05:07

Yes Cog! I buy cauliflower with impunity now - never allowed in the house before!

colinbutterfly Wed 12-Feb-14 09:05:48

My break up also entailed a trip to Ibiza. I skinny dipped, danced til dawn and watched the sun come up.
Had a tattoo
Shock horror go out with my mates without getting grief
Wear ugg boots without getting told off
Spent time with my family and feel closer to them
Spent money on myself now I'm free from the cocklodger that left me skint

FolkGirl Wed 12-Feb-14 09:07:06

Got a first class degree
Took up dancing
Spent more time with my children
Laughed more
Cried less
Been to an opera
Stayed in bed all weekend
Bought an expensive new musical instrument
Finally had the money to decorate the house
Started wearing dresses (started to feel attractive enough to do so)
Went to a festival on my own
Dated men I wouldn't normally have looked at twice
Had amazing sex
Made lots of new friends
Had great fun with said new friends
Learnt to rock climb
Lost weight

HeadFullofSteam Wed 12-Feb-14 09:07:37

Not had break up, but just wanted to say this is a lovely, positive thread.(wishes wasn't vegetarian so could drink beef in the bath)

FolkGirl Wed 12-Feb-14 09:07:56

Oh yes,

improved confidence generally

captainmummy Wed 12-Feb-14 09:09:40

Oh yes - swam with sharks, saw the Northern Lights, drove up a rocky mountain road in south africa without a safety rail and a 2000ft drop, got a tattoo, went to the pub alone on friday nights for the live music, went to a nightclub in Brighton only last Friday...

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 12-Feb-14 09:10:35

flowers Inspiring, MNers.

Ledkr Wed 12-Feb-14 09:20:11

Thanks everyone keep them coming.

Ill add.

Not dreading every social event because he wasn't there to get blind drunk.
Meeting my gorgeous ten yrs. younger dh and having our beautiful daughter who has brought so much fun to ours and existing dcs lives.

sillymillyb Wed 12-Feb-14 09:25:21

Ahh thank you for this. My list is paltry as I think I have put life on hold a bit, but, that's all changing this year! So, since my ex left, I have:

Raised my ds alone since, er, conception smile

Went back to uni to study law

Took control of my debt

Took the step to start, and have now finished, psychotherapy and feeling bloody brilliant for it!

Next things for me are a holiday alone with my boy, and to lose the weight I've gained. I also like the sound of drinking beef in the bath so will add that to the list too! grin

sillymillyb Wed 12-Feb-14 09:27:22

Ooh yes! I got my tattoo as well!

Oh and I wear flat shoes now because they dont make me look fat... grin

Nowstrong Wed 12-Feb-14 09:28:05

Reconnected with my family and friends, plus made many more
Took-up sport and skiing again
Travelled intensely
Rediscovered that sex could be amazing
Feel loved and cared for (and spoilt)
Can now lie-in on week-ends (he used to bang about until I got up to get whatever he needed, i.e. a cup of tea hmm)
Changed my old car which HE chose, for a convertible shiny new one
Changed my entire wardrobe
Lost weight
All of my skin problems and allergies have magically disappeared
Must be lots more, but that is a good start smile

Givemeyouranswerdo Wed 12-Feb-14 09:28:52

Bought a house
Decorated it
Had great sex with unsuitable men
Had great sex with lovely man but failed to spot this fact (lovely man not the sex) but lesson learnt and all that ...
Reconnected with old friends
Made new friends
Changed jobs
Onwards and upwards ...

LilyBlossom14 Wed 12-Feb-14 09:35:07

Redecorated and refurnished a house to how I wanted it with my own money, bought a snazzy new car, dyed my hair purple, took up exercise and got fit, signed up to do a degree, got a cat, spent time with lovely friends and ditched the ones who were useless - but best of all watched my daughter blossom into a beautiful, strong young woman without the bullying influence of her father hovering over her like a black shadow and telling her to shut up/ she wasn't good enough/ go away (delete as appropriate) - and she passed 13 GCSEs with astounding grades - and I took all the pride myself, as he still doesn't even care to find out how she did in her exams, let alone anything else.

t3rr3gl35 Wed 12-Feb-14 11:25:58

I found me again, and realised that I was actually an OK person.
Lost weight.
Discovered my income paid the bills and more.
Bought tomato ketchup - previously banned.
Found a space in fridge for permanent bottle champagne.
But mostly - I found me again. smile

Went on a holiday of a lifetime
Rediscovered me and realised that an awful lot of men find me attractive blush
Met a younger, hotter, more wealthy, kind, caring man who considered it an honour that me and the dcs wanted him as a part of our family (and not the burden that XH had told us we would be)
Moved to a new area and a new life
Smiled. Everyone commented on how much happier I am.
Danced in the rain
Swam naked in the sea
Saw how relaxed the dcs are now
Bought the house of my dreams (well it will be in 20 years once we've sorted it)
Became a lot closer to my family
Used contact weekends to go out and have too much fun

Became happy smile and having said I would never have another dc (due to no support from XH), I had another dc. And it was wonderful. Dh helps and cares and it's everything I dreamed it could be. If I'd never left I'd never have known.

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