Mumsnet Talk

hi there

after a discussion with dp last night it transpires that approx 80% of his past lovers could orgasm during sex.

i immediately felt this was rubbish and that the majority must've been faking it.

nonetheless its left me feeling inadequate and a freak, and like im not doing something right... can you share your thoughts/experiences please?

disclaimer: i do orgasm, the conditions have to be just so. and dp has not put any pressure on me about this. i brought it up with him, he doesnt see it as an issue or think there is something wrong with me. thats just my thinking.

Not through just PIV, no.

I think it's unusual for women to do so - his exes were probably faking

well good for them :/

tell him 80% of your past lovers didnt make you feel inadequate about it.

I dont usually orgasm during sex, but i never think of it as a problem as I do during oral, which hes always happy to do.

Hi....Yep...I do during sex, again and again and again etc. One after the other. Always have.

Define what you mean by 'sex'.

To me, it's a smorgasbord of different things and PIV sex is just part of that.

I don't orgasm through PIV alone. I have read that approx 70% of women don't.

No, not without clitoral stimulation

Yes unless not in the mood or totally inept lover.

Yes I do but it's a different kind of orgasm to when he's going down on me or stimulating my clit in other ways. It's more like a g-spot orgasm, it's not as intense as a clitoral one and doesn't feel the same. Still good though. But I have only experienced it with the man I'm currently sleeping with.

I read in cosmo the other day (it was in a waiting room!) that the reason some couples have better sex than others is because their bodies 'fit together' in the right way - this may well be total bolleaux as tis cosmo but would kind of make sense in that I could never orgasm through piv sex with my exh, even though his penis is probably bigger.

However, it is also entirely likely that they were faking, I think some women do when their man is humping away - sometimes probably just to get it over with! (have been guilty of that in the past )

Yes! I'm one of the lucky ones that can orgasm over and over through PIV.

It doesn't feel the same as a clitoral orgasm, not worse - just different.

Yes I.do. not as strongly as 'other methods' but I do almost every time.

I do, quite a lot but definitely not every time. Find it much easier now I'vejad children actually. TMI alert!

thanks all.

to clarify, i mean piv sex, which does or does not include clitoral stimulation..

sorry for tmi.. i can orgasm during piv sex only when he is on top, going really slowly, and i am stimulating my clit.

i have come through a g spot orgasm only once, and i did that myself

i just feel like i need a HELL of alot more foreplay, maybe like an hour, to get turned on enough to have a chance of coming any other way. and i feel other women must be more 'orgasmic' than me!

those that do, you lucky things! are there certain positions that you find work better? people always say go on top, but this really doesn't do it for me. concentrating on rhythm / movement too much! hard fast thrusting feels great but im not gonna come from that.

Its quite often down the the alignment of the bodies. I have multiple g spot orgasms whenever we have sex and to me they are so much more intense than clitoral orgasms and after the first one each one after that gets even more intense but doesnt last as long. To be honest they are amazing.

i imagine if you orgasm during PIV, then maybe its an anatomical thing? Clitoris closer to vagina than in most women maybe?

I have never orgasmed through PIV alone.

I always do through PIV if I'm on top. Over and over again. I know I am one of the lucky ones though as all of the friends I've spoken to about it said that they can't orgasm through PIV alone.

I don't think I could ever fake it, I'd feel too embarrassed to 'put on' those noises

awsangel i am amazed.. and incredibly jelous! and, a bit determined to explore this further and see what i can get my body to do..

Me on top, missionary and doggy have all done it for me. I do think I am quite 'orgasmic' though, I can come really quickly and easily. Also, coz it's still quite new and exciting with my man so I'm always really turned on, think that makes a big difference although it's the same when I'm on my own. But it probably is for everyone!

I find if I lean forward while on top, it helps.

www.menshealth.com/sex-position-playbook/cat
I have been told that this position helps alot when women cant orgasm through PIV . Look it up online as there are videos.

dont you need it to be slow and gentle??

The CAT looks similar to what DH and I do naturally I think.

choco i personally dont really go in for foreplay, for me it all happens when my man is inside me. Its just the way he does it.