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No I don,t want to sleep with your husband

(205 Posts)
bongobaby Tue 22-Jan-13 17:15:25

Apparently its ok by his wife that he is asking to sleep with me WTF I am so fucking angry. NO NO NO its not going to happen I,m pissed off bigtime at the pair of them.

SorryMyLollipop Tue 22-Jan-13 22:56:47

Is this a stealth boast?

This is a major bit of an over-reaction, he asked, you said no, he didn't persue it further, he didn't attempt anything. If you don't feel comfortable being their friend anymore then don't be but why get so angry because someone (well 2 people) find you attractive?

Did he push it further? If not just go your way, let them go theirs and know the friendship isn't salvagable.

ImperialBlether Tue 22-Jan-13 23:36:42

Look, just call your best friends over for dinner, have a few bottles of wine and have a good laugh about it.

Honestly, you're getting outraged about something so ridiculous. No, not him wanting sex with you but her not speaking to you but having to agree that her husband could shag you. That is really pitiful.

RafflesWay Wed 23-Jan-13 00:24:33

Sorry but I find this quite scary and predatory and even more so if op is single!! I would be keeping my doors firmly locked for the forseeable future.

Bogeyface Wed 23-Jan-13 00:32:18

I would be keeping my doors firmly locked for the forseeable future.

So because they have an alternative sex life he is now a potential rapist?! sheesh, and I thought the OP was over reacting!

RafflesWay Wed 23-Jan-13 00:46:12

Sorry Bogey but not everyone feels quite so "liberal.". I had a similar approach from dh's so called friend 25 yrs ago when dh was away on business so know what I am talking about With regards to keeping the doors VERY FIRMLY LOCKED! How do you know he doesn't have history? And even if he doesn't, all attackers have a first time. Sorry you may call it "Alternative" but others beg to differ.

Bogeyface Wed 23-Jan-13 01:09:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hopkinette Wed 23-Jan-13 01:30:32

Call the police.

Bogeyface Wed 23-Jan-13 01:58:37

Call the police.

ermmm...why?!

Because he asked if she would like to have sex with him and she said no and he went away? hmm

Dottiespots Wed 23-Jan-13 02:02:43

I would consider yourself lucky cause had you gone on this holiday then the wife could have approached you for sex herself and it would have made the holiday horrible for you and your children OP. I would have found it scary for the husband to come over to my house and approach me like that too. You must have felt vunerable and seriously.....how do you reply to a question like that. If your anything like me then you find it hard to be nasty to anyone and to upset anyone so rather than speak out and say how you really feel you just end up smiling and seeming to be ok with things.

duchesse Wed 23-Jan-13 02:07:06

Very creepy and weird people. Run away!!

differentnameforthis Wed 23-Jan-13 02:22:27

Well, it is their 'normal' I guess. Not for everyone, but that doesn't make it abnormal. Just something some of us (most of us, probably) wouldn't entertain. They aren't creepy, perverted or anything of that nature. They just have a different set of rules, which it is their prerogative to have. They both seem happy with their set up.

No one is pimping you out op. She merely gave her husband permission to do that. You don't want to, so that's that. Decline, say it isn't your thing & say no more about it. Forget the friendship if that is what you want.

I don't get why you feel they have pimped out as the local whore on the basis that he was given permission to sleep with you. It's not like there are a bunch of men queuing at your door to sleep with you on her say so.

differentnameforthis Wed 23-Jan-13 02:30:06

as other married couples I know don,t normally say that they watch each other being screwed by other men/women

How do you know that, op? You don't! Just because couples don't discuss stuff like this, doesn't mean that they don't have their won 'behind doors' secrets that they keep from families & friends!

differentnameforthis Wed 23-Jan-13 02:38:19

OK, op on reading further, you are either protesting too much because you really do like him & would love to sleep with him, but your morals about married men won't allow you to cross that line, even with her in the know.

Or

You DO judge their lifestyle & have all along, and now this has become your excuse to point out how sickening/creepy/abnormal/sinister etc you find it & them.

Your rage is simply too much (for me) to be put out by his proposition. Calling her a pimp, saying they assume you want this (which they don't by the way, which is why he ASKED you & didn't force/come on strong to you)

Violated? Really? All he did was mention that he would like to have slept with you & that makes you feel violated?

differentnameforthis Wed 23-Jan-13 02:51:33

Calling people nasty because they aren't agreeing with your rage is pretty awful, OP & really does only show your true colours. You are disgustingly judgemental & I don't know what your friends dh sees in you!

Police, really? What a monumental waste of police time & resources. The man suggested he would like to have sex with her, he didn't kiss her, touch her, grab her or threaten her in any way!

As for saying he is a potential abuser because he & his wife have an alternative sex life, wow!

hopkinette Wed 23-Jan-13 03:49:29

I was being sarcastic, Bogeyface. Because of the utterly deranged level of hysteria.

Although actually I do think the OP should call the police and tell them what's happened, just to give the police a laugh.

hopkinette Wed 23-Jan-13 03:50:42

^ And that's for differentname too.

hopkinette Wed 23-Jan-13 03:53:02

OBVIOUSLY people with different sexual tastes are probably rapists - OBVIOUSLY.

Fucking seriously. I'm vanilla through and through but even I can contemplate the concept of open marriages without fainting or bursting into tears.

Dottiespots Wed 23-Jan-13 04:25:06

Im quiet vanilla too but I was approached by this man, in his home, in front of his wife myself. She firstly told me she was lesbian and that she liked to have sex with women while her husband watched and then he had sex himself with the woman and then he told me that I was a gorgeous looking woman. Compliment in one way and I acted so cool about it and just laughed it off......I was soooo proud of myself.....inside though I was thinking.....got to get out of here....got to get out of here!!! ha ha. Nothing personal regarding them though as they are nice enough people and I get on with them but in my little safe vanilla world...I was quietly shitting myself at the time.

Dottiespots Wed 23-Jan-13 04:25:31

quite...not quiet.

Dottiespots Wed 23-Jan-13 04:27:36

o bloody hell....sorry as that could have come across as that i had been approached by same man as op.Of course it wasnt. Its late and i should have read my post before sending it.

Arthurfowlersallotment Wed 23-Jan-13 05:35:51

I understand your outrage/repulse at this couple, OP.
When I was 20 I was propositioned similarly by a couple I was friends with while a group of us were out for a birthday. What creeped me out most is that they clearly discussed it and toyed with the idea. I politely declined.

Mind you, later that evening she wanked him off (quite blatantly) at the restaurant table, so I think they were a bit deviant.

In your case OP, I'd try and laugh about it.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 23-Jan-13 07:20:09

"If telling someone you want to sleep with them is a criminal offence, we are doomed."

I was thinking it came under the heading of 'unwanted sexual harrassment'.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 23-Jan-13 07:24:33

I also understand the outrage and repulsion. People can be sleazy... I get that. You can get hit on... I get that too. But to be propositioned in your own home that you might like to be someone's sexual entertainment for the evening while their partner gets their rocks off looking on? The couple doing the asking should have been far more sure of their ground before making a suggestion like that. It is pretty shocking.

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