constantly arguing about housework I've had enoough

[complexo]

He thinks he doesnt have to do any fucking thing if he doesn't feel like it and I know this exactly the way his father behaves so it is down to the way he has been brought up and isn't gonna change. I would rather being a single mother than spend my life wasting my time cleaning after a grown man.

[TidyDancer]

Need way more information to give any opinion on this. Assuming you do want opinions and not just a rant (which is perfectly okay!).

[LadySybildeChocolate]

Go on strike. If he doesn't bother, then neither do you. That or make him pay for a cleaner.

[ErikNorseman]

Make him pay for a cleaner? Do nothing for him, no laundry or packed lunches or anything.

[complexo]

Can't waste money paying for cleaner and I've stopped doing his laundry, the basket overflows and I don't care but I can't pretend to have a blind eye with the kitchen and sitting room I absolutely hate being in a dirty disorganised house but I'm sure I'm not compulsive. I'm talking about dirty socks and underwear on the floor, rubbish on the table and every worktop, cans or bottles of beer everywhere. He won't eat my food or eat with us but after. Finish cooking and eating I put everything away and clean the whole kitchen he than decides to fuck cook for himself (fridge is full) and leaves the kitchen all messy and dirty again. It is utterly disrespectful I'm not putting up with this shite anymore. I'm also talking about 5 to 7 days whitout a shower and farting everywhere all the time the fucking PIG

[Margerykemp]

Sounds like you would be better off single.

[Jemma1111]

Tell the slob to shape up or ship out

[radiohelen]

Time to stop buying food, or get a fridge padlock, and hire a cleaner. Realistically he isn't going to change much. Would he budge a bit? Baby steps? Men need training like dogs (and toddlers). Rewards when they do good. Ignore when they do bad. It's amazing how quickly a snog after he makes the bed means he makes the bed every day < @@ hypno eyes.. I did not do this to my husband, I did not do this to my husband >

[LadySybildeChocolate]

You shouldn't have to train him, he's not a child and he's taking the p*ss out of you. Does he have any good qualities? At the moment he sounds like a cocklodger.

[dontpetthesweatythings]

Hmmm this sounds like me before I did actually throw my ex out. Obviously the housework wasn't the only issue. OP is there anything else upsetting you about your DP/DH ?

If it makes you feel better (probably not) my ex did this and I went on strike too. I was so so angry about it, that one day I collected everything that belonged to him littering the house, dirty clothes, clean laundry, shows, food wrappers, shoes, magazine, cups in the bathroom, his dirty dishes - under the bed! - shopping bags...and stuffed the lot in to his car. Was angry, not proud of my tantrum but I lost it completely.

[complexo]

We have massive rows about it and he doesn't understand my point or pretend he doesn't. Obviously his standards are lower than mine so for him it is not a big deal and he can't accept the for me it is and I feel disrespected specially because I work full time too. I stopped having sex because he disgusts me and I tell him I can't be attracted to a man who doesn't have showers I keep telling him when he is stinking and when his mouth is disgusting and nothing changes. He would rather turn to porn than change his higyene habits. Anyway his teeth and his parents teeth is horrendous sometimes talking to them I want to vomit, can't believe I got involved with people so different from me

[floradix]

ask him to leave, complexo.

[LadySybildeChocolate]

Is he depressed? Sounds to me as though you're about done with him, complex. ?

[complexo]

I'm not traioning a grow man I'm sorry. And I don't want my daugjter to think it is ok to accept a man to do this to a woman so I have not problem discussing with him in front of her about it. My ex was peerfect on the housework share sadly he was a cheater. This one is faithful but a pig. Can't have everything in life hey.

[LadySybildeChocolate]

I think you'd be happier if you set him free so that he can go and find his own Waynetta Slob. It's not really the right relationship for you if he's making you this miserable. There is someone out there who will make you happy, I don't think it's Wayne though.

[complexo]

He won't leave. I have to seriously starting thinking about leaving but it is going to be more unsettling for my daughter if I do. I got fed up of suggesting he might be depressed because he would get angry and do nothing about it. Today he said he is and I'm not helping so I said I wanted to help and he dismissed me and also treat him like a toddler won't help either. He is not helping himself and doesn't want to so I don't think there is nothing I can do. I'm looking forward for him to go back to work on Monday after 3 weeks at home.

[LadySybildeChocolate]

Is it your house?

[radiohelen]

If he's that awful then leave. Why would you live with someone who disgusts you? Get yourself an exit strategy and implement it.

[radiohelen]

x-post

I don't know what your family life is like but I would have thought the level of anger and unhappiness in your house at the moment is as bad for your daughter as the upheaval of a break up.

Just a thought, but people who are carers often distance themselves from their loved one when the going gets really rough by treating them like a child.

[complexo]

It is a rented flat we have absolutely nothing but a child. He used to make an effort before. Now he doesn't care anymore. I think the problem is that at the begining I was a sahm and didn't need to share the housework and didn't want either he worked hard enough at his work. But now I'm working too and he doesn't want to understand things got to change.

[LadySybildeChocolate]

He must have some good qualities. Living with someone who has depression can be really, really tough. I think you'll get some better advice if you post in mental health, there will be some people with more knowledge there.