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Startingagain trying to move forward, without nightmare EXP

(783 Posts)
startingagain88 Tue 15-May-12 14:46:41

New thread for my ongoing journey of trying to detached from my nightmare, exp while trying to hold on to my sanity sad

Old thread here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1437647-Starting-Again-Moving-Forward-Onwards-and-Upwards

glad you are doing so well. Cant believe it is a whole year! Goes to show how strong you are.

Well done, you are doing brilliantly. grin

Januarymadness Sun 17-Mar-13 22:17:37

just seen this.grin grin grin grin grin

Midwife99 Fri 08-Mar-13 08:19:57

I'm so glad to hear that you're doing so well!! Wow is it really a whole year? thanks

springyhop Thu 07-Mar-13 23:18:15

fabulous update - thanks so much for letting us know how you are smile

the worst is out of the way (and, sheesh, was it the worst?!). It's all up from now. It may not be a straight upward tragectory, but life isn't like that eh. It'll be ups and downs BUT all going in the upward direction. As you have seen [smile ] smile

YOu've done so well to get through this year. Bravo, biggest round of applause

<thunderous applause> <cheers> <pom poms>

Xales Wed 06-Mar-13 14:05:52

Great to hear you are doing well.

I remember your first posts and the heartache.

All the firsts are now out the way, valentines, birthdays christmas. You will have a great life from now on.

He was in your life a long long time it is not surprising you still look back.

Sugarice Wed 06-Mar-13 12:10:37

Fab update and brilliant to hear the optimism in the way you've written your post, you sound great!

oldwomaninashoe Wed 06-Mar-13 11:55:40

Thank you for updating, for a while there I was worried that you might go back to him.
Good for you and well done, I'm so pleased that you have been strong.
Here's to you and a fun filled future wine

Thermalsocks Wed 06-Mar-13 11:02:51

Wow! Thanks for updating Starting. Often wonder about you.
You are doing so well.
So pleased you haven't given in to Arsewipe! grin grin

RoxyRobin Tue 05-Mar-13 23:49:57

smile

What a great update Starting.

I hope you have a much better year this year and onwards. And some more fun shags as well.

startingagain88 Tue 05-Mar-13 20:59:49

Hi Everyone smile

Long-time no post! Well.... tonight is the year anniversary of my EXP( affectionately known as arsewipe smile) walking out on me after 15years with no warning to shack up with OW.

Initially, I was devastated, I was bad, really bad, suicidal at times- I wasn’t working, very little contact with family, no friends- he was my life....

I shared this all with you lovely ladies - from the initial shock of that first night, to the torture that he put me through for the following months........ I couldn’t have got through it without your advice and support- it was priceless….. there was always someone there to answer me in the small hours and to hold my hand when I felt alone.

The last year has been the toughest of my life, It really has, but I have come through it, I’m back at work and at the top of my game again salary/career wise, I have made new friends, reconnected with my family, started to rekindle MY interests again, about halfway finishing MY house. Hell, I’ve even had a shag (which was fun!) and some male attention….. although I’m definitely not looking for a relationship for a while yet…… !

I’m not completely out of the woods………. I still have a cry over him every so often, I still become overwhelmed with being alone sometimes, I do still think about the good times I spent with EXP and yearn for that again, but generally things are really good for me……. smile

Just wanted to post an update and to thank all of you who have been so wonderfully kind and supportive over this last year, I would never have made it without you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx thanks

Januarymadness Thu 07-Feb-13 17:05:54

hey starting. i have been on here a LOT but have had various name changes recently. Just wanted to let you know I am still rooting for youwink

hi starting I am glad you are posting again.

So, new year, new start! Lets get you some fun, exciting things to do. Listen to new music! What style do you like, or what bands do you like and we can try to find some similar styles but not related to ex?

Everyone I know has been fed up. Wet weather is rubbish and trying to get anything done is just a bit harder than usual.

How is the house coming on? Maybe paint a room in a bright colour to cheer you up. Fresh flowers always make me feel good, doesnt have to be expensive, but the colours are nice. And going to my hairdressers, I love it. Even if it is just for a cut or blowdry.

Lets change things up for you!

You are doing really well.

Oh and re PMT my friend swears by Evening Primrose oil tablets.

RoxyRobin Sun 06-Jan-13 23:59:53

Hello there, starting!

Don't worry, you're just a member of the very big pissed-off post-Christmas club. Everyone I know is in it.

Midwife99 Sun 06-Jan-13 23:58:48

Has he not given up YET?!!! blush

startingagain88 Sun 06-Jan-13 23:34:12

Hi,

Back again........

Where - I WILL book an exciting holiday this year i promise......

Skye - Music is a killer gets me everytime!

Midwide - Still getting hassle from ex now and again but less and less... or i am more able to brush it off- not sure which actually!

You ladies are so very kind smile

Midwife99 Sun 06-Jan-13 23:14:39

Hi starting - good to hear from you! I'm glad Christmas & NY ok & no more hassle from ex. 2013 will be much happier for you I'm sure of it!

Skyebluesapphire Sun 06-Jan-13 22:25:48

Oh god, music!!

The other night I heard How Do I Live Without You by Lianne Rimes on a car radio and I was in pieces, the words just said it all! sad

And when my friend ( a beautician) was waxing my eyebrows she out her iPod in and Ten Million Bicycles by Katie Melua came on... XH bought that for me, the lyrics saying , like the fact that I will love you til I die. She had to turn it off!

God. How depressing!!!

I have always suffered from PMT though and used to tell XH when I was due so that he had warning of any mood swings. Trouble is, if I was moody so was he! I said to him once, I've got PMT, what's your excuse?!

Onwards and upwards!!!! We are a Twunt free zone now!

Starting good to hear from you again.

Glad you had an ok christmas and new year.

Start planning for Down under holiday now it will give you something to aim for.

startingagain88 Sun 06-Jan-13 21:36:14

Hi Skye,

I didnt used to suffer with PMT- but i think my age must be sneaking up on me smile

Work is ok but like you i have deadlines to meet at the moment which would be fine normally, but at the moment its all seems too much!

Im exactly like you but for me its music, i hear certain songs and before i know it i have tears streaming down my face.

Id hoped i would have been past all of this by now......... but it seems i still have some work to do.

xxx

Skyebluesapphire Sun 06-Jan-13 21:15:26

I definitely suffer with hormones, I spend two weeks feeli g on top of the world, then two weeks feeling sad :-(

I've had a few tears these past few days. I'm working hard too to meet a deadline.

It's silly things that set me off, like a programme about the Isle of Skye, on earlier today, which is where we went on holiday and were planning to take DD one day.

But we are both doing really well and we should both be happy with how far we have come .

startingagain88 Sun 06-Jan-13 20:57:09

Hi Sugar,

No not this year- maybe next! smile

Thank you for the support, i need it this weekend.........yes i do feel stronger by the week, but i still have dips every now and again ( i think some of it is hormonal too!)

I'm having trouble planning for the future atm, im in a bit of a treadmill with work and the crap wet weather isnt helping..... its seems like an effort to go out!

Just ignore me im feeling sorry for myself tonight!

xxx

Sugarice Sun 06-Jan-13 19:59:40

starting didn't you go Down under for Christmas sad.

Sorry to hear you're still having days of feeling pissed off but do you feel you're getting stronger each week?

2013 will be a better year, keep at it , think of sailing in a beautiful part of the world with friends who love and value you.

Stick with it and chose a wonderful place to holiday at, the world is waiting for you to pick a spot!!! Go for it.

startingagain88 Sun 06-Jan-13 19:38:49

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to wish you all a Happy New Year! Thank you for checking up on me!

Had an ok Xmas and New Year- spent them with my sailing friend although she is having a bad time with her on/off BF so i was a shoulder to cry on for her!

Work is going OK.... feels like all i am doing at the moment......

Had a bad few days this weekend, think its just the new year, back at work, loneliness etc etc but im sure ill feel better next week. Had a massive cry today sad so feeling a bit blue but ok

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

baremadness Wed 26-Dec-12 22:58:20

Merry xmas. Hope you are ok x

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