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Original poster

Ladies who don't mind their DP going to lap dancing clubs ....

378 replies

nappyaddict · 12/12/2010 19:22

Do you mind them having a dance in a private room where even though touching is not allowed it is common for the girl to sit and dance cms away from their crotch/face?

OP posts:
blushington · 12/12/2010 19:23

eeeeew

thenightsky · 12/12/2010 19:26

It's never arisen in 25 years of marriage. He has never gone out where it's been on the agenda. So I don't have to 'mind' I guess.

Sorry.. Nappy, thats not much help... what I mean is I suppose I wouldn't be with him if he was the 'type' for it to even arise.

wifeofdoom · 12/12/2010 19:28

No, it doesn't really bother me if it's not touching!

blushington · 12/12/2010 19:29

I was being immature. Something about the word 'crotch' makes me feel a bit sick.

Serious answer - I don't think there's much difference between having a lapdance in a private room or not. The girls do get pretty close sometimes, but it is strictly no touching.

However, I'm not the sort that is happy with lapdancing clubs anyway. I'm such a boring feminist.

raspberrytipple · 12/12/2010 19:29

Mine has been once or twice. It doesn't really worry me, it's nothing much more than taking a fantasy a little further and just seems to be something lots of blokes do and seem to think other blokes should do so they sort of feel the need to go and try it out iyswim. I know a few people who work as lapdancers and know what they think/feel about the blokes they dance for and it's just made it seem so run of the mill and boring I can't really get excited. If your bloke is going and it makes you feel uncomfortable though, you need to make sure he knows. If mine knew I didn't want him to do it he would make his excuses and come home, I hope!!

QueenGigantaurofMnet · 12/12/2010 19:29

Dp is too tight to pay for something i could do for free, but it wouldn't bother me if it was a stag do or something.

If he was doing it regularly then yes i would be concerned. not because of the act itself but because i would assume there was something amis that he felt that this was something he desired to do so often.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 12/12/2010 19:40

wifeofdoom So has your DP actually had one of these private room dances?

OP posts:
GraceAwayInAManger · 12/12/2010 19:44

It used not to bother me but XH was obsessed with them - it didn't make me feel good about myself. These days, it bothers me a lot more. I don't like what it says about the way customers see women in general.

If a partner just had the one dance on a special night out, OP, I wouldn't worry about it too much - it's the regular use, and the fact that it tends to go with a lot of objectifying behaviours, which turns me off.

ChoudeBruxelles · 12/12/2010 19:46

DH went to one the other night on his work's night out. According to him the women were quite rough and he spent quite a bit of time vomiting in the toilets so not really worried.

booyhohoho · 12/12/2010 19:47

i am with blushington, i couldn't see myself with someone who found that good entertainment.

i really don't know enough about tehm to know if tehre is more to a private dance than tehy would get in teh public area so can't really comment.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 12/12/2010 19:51

I wouldn't be with a person like that, so Biscuit

And no, my DH has never been to a lapdancing club, and never will

We just don't move in circles like that, I am thankful to say

Any man that did would lose my respect immediately I am afraid

ChoudeBruxelles · 12/12/2010 19:54

What circles do you think they are AnyFucker?

GetOrfMoiLand · 12/12/2010 19:55

I wouldn't waste my time with someone who thought it was appropriate to go to a lapdancing club. How sad. If DP had a private dance I would be mixed up with utter derision, disrespect and thinking he was a complete wankstain.

You go to a lapdancing club if you are a (a) brain dead 'the only was is essex' mindless knob or (b) thorough disrespecter of women

Frankly.

No, am not a prude, yes I like sex, no am not controlling andrea dworkin type. But just find it laughable that women think shite like this is OK.

In response to the OP - the whole 'does he have a private dance' quandary if a complete red herring. Well it would be for me.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 12/12/2010 19:55

where weak, shallow and mysogynistic men think it ok to treat women as sex objects, CB

why what did you think I meant ?

GetOrfMoiLand · 12/12/2010 19:56

Not that there is anything wrong with andrea dworkin, I hasten to add, however the 'prude haory feminist' shite gets thrown at people who oppose lapdancing and other assorted shite.

blushington · 12/12/2010 19:56

DH has been with people from work when they were all really wasted. It isn't a dealbreaker for me, but he knows I don't like it and I have stated my objections to him, which are primarily about how the girls who worked there are viewed and treated. I also gave him some statistics on how many girls who work in lapdancing clubs have been attacked by clients, which he didn't like and tried to argue round but couldn't.

For me it's not so much about whether he fancies the girls but the whole concept of it. But I'm not going to ban him from going, I'm not his mother. But I'm not afraid to state my opinions on it.

I don't think he finds it good entertainment, particularly, but wouldn't make a fuss about not going if he was with others. The industry he works in is quite blokey, but I still don't think he has been to lapdancing clubs very much.

selfishmum · 12/12/2010 19:58

doesn't/wouldn't bother me at all!

Know hubby has been to lapdancing clubs, don't know if he's had a private dance, wouldn't bother me if he had.

Am very laid back about these things.

GetOrfMoiLand · 12/12/2010 19:58

Thankfully my DP has a brain.

GraceAwayInAManger · 12/12/2010 20:00

Funny how paying for it seems to make it OK, don't you think?

Can't imagine too many Mumsnet members saying "The woman next door comes round, takes off all her clothes and wriggles around on DH's face. It doesn't bother me" - can you?

loujay · 12/12/2010 20:02

I truly don't mind...........I love DH and occasionally he has been to lapdancing clubs where he has had privte dances.(I have just asked him and confirmed this)

He has also just said that it is a place for men to go who are pissed...........and it is NOT ABOUT SEX
He has never had an erection in a nightclub.............it is just a place to go to see nice women wave their bits about...............and he comes home to me...........(and yes I am happy about that!!)

ChaoticChristmasAngelCrackers · 12/12/2010 20:05

I couldn't respect a man who disrespected women to the point they thought it was okay to treat them as sex objects/playthings for their own pleasure.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 12/12/2010 20:06

grace...excellent point

simple, but very effective

the best arguments already are Xmas Smile

paying

fucking pathetic for a man to do this, and says an awful lot about his attitude to women

those of you who are "cool" about it, have you ever asked them how they would feel if it was their daughter displaying her fanny for some boozed-up dickhead who thinks he is a big man with his wonga ?

GetOrfMoiLand · 12/12/2010 20:06

I may as well change my name to Iagreewithanyfucker

booyhohoho · 12/12/2010 20:06

totally agree grace.

booyhohoho · 12/12/2010 20:07

Grin @ IAWAFGOML