September 2014 - Rocking and Rolling

[FATEdestiny]

Our babies are rocking and rolling, crawling and climbing into the second half of their first year.

Let the fun continue...

Thanks for setting up the new thread FATE. Well spotted, and just in the nick of time!

Nazly, I would imagine you don't want to post DSs name here, but if you'd like to PM me, I'm happy to give an honest opinion. I would say that kids can turn any name into something to make a joke about. My name is very "boring" but they still managed to work something out for me! Is there a nickname that you think might be less "risky"? Or does he have a middle name that you be happy with him bring known by?

Well done to all of you battling and slowly winning this sleep war! Generally DD is doing a lot better, but we still have the early morning issue. This morning she woke at 4.15, and it took until 5.00 to get her back off. Now I can't sleep.

I've not read any parenting books. I really find this thread and you wonderful women give me much of the support and information I need! For health stuff I try to stick to the NHS pages, and for other stuff I just search on here.

Oh, and welcome back Iate! Great to see you back on here.

nazly I can relate to the name issue. We really struggled to pick a name as we didn't like any really (and didn't want one too popular), despite going through numerous lists, websites etc. so we went with one that we thought was ok, though picking a name in the weeks following a birth it not a great idea. But now I worry that I don't like it and he'll hate it and get picked on for it. I cringe when people say it, though I cringe when people say my name too so perhaps is just an issue I have! People ask if it's a family name which implies to me that it's old fashioned and unpopular. If I had an alternative that I loved I would honestly change it. I can shorten it but not sure it's much better tbh

We struggled with E's name and it was something we agreed on in the labour room which in hindsight wasn't the best idea, and while I like his name I don't love it and wish I had stuck to my guns and called him the name I preferred. If we have another boy they will have that name!

Nazly are you concerned that the name is just very unusual? I wouldn't worry too much. Loads of kids around here have unusual or ethnic names and no-one seems surprised by it.

Acorn if you really feel you don't like it anymore then you can change it I believe up to your child is 1 year of age. Although obviously you would have to know what you would want to change it too.

Naxly / Acorn alternatively do your DS's have middle names you could use?

Oh and thank you Fate for the new thread. x

Thanks ladies - his name ends with an "A" , my problem is various people as soon as I told them their name said "she?" And then I had to say sorry, no, "he"; its a boy ...

It is such a common issue I would say quite a few of people I have talked to for various reasons confused the sex based on the name. So it is not even risky; it is very obvious it will be an issue.

To be honest if ds was showing off a cool and relaxed character right now, I would not worry that much, and would leave it to him to deal with. But he is showing a super super sensitive character ... And I worry with a bad decision we will make his life harder than it is. I say harder because he will already have some issues being born in an immigrant family with different language, culture, etc and will have to adapt.

On the other hand we both really like his name and since we called him that I even like it more. So if possible at all I would love to leave the decision to him, so he can change his name when he is an adult, i.e. Just use nickname for now... But only if it is not going to annoy my super sensitive boy!!

We have just 2 months and three weeks to make decision and go for it...

Nazly I'm assuming that the confusion over what gender he is will go away once he's not a baby anymore. He'll be obviously a boy, where babies are kind of open to interpretation, iyswim. So then he'll just be a boy with an unusual name. And he'll be an immigrant (as am I) so people will just assume it's a name from your culture and move on.

I also think that a really consistently used nickname that is a shortened form of his name would help. So the full name would only come up on official interactions but not be what he calls himself to other kids. But kids tease about the strangest things, so it's going to be hard to fully protect against that at this stage.

Place marking!

Nazly, your son won't get the piss taken out of him purely for having a Irish name. It isn't like that and Irish names are ten a penny.

If its one of the two I can think of beginning with A it might sound like a girls name beginning with E which are both perhaps more common and familiar to our ears at the moment due to their current popularity. Its not an Irish name that's really 'out there' either. I'm not sure I'd even think of it as terribly Irish anyway.

But I don't think that's an issue at all. Its just people being deaf and a bit ignorant. It will resolve itself when he's older.

I like it.

If YOU like it don't worry what other people think. Its not a Roman god or a Shakespearean character or a professional boxer - all of which I have come across in real life so far. These will be your DS's peers (along with my terror and his unique name). They'll be the targets if its going to be laughing at names. Little Ophelia is going to get a hard time at High School.

Slight disclaimer: DS has an out there hipster type name, and it seems my name radar has a much bigger circle of acceptability than a lot of MNetters. That said I think your choice is a pretty safe one and really doesn't offend anyone.

Thanks for the new thread Fate

Nazly, if it is just the ending in an "a" and people not realising he is a boy, as long as you love the name if say stick with it. As he gets older people will be less likely to get confused! Obviously if you are not certain of the name, then there is still time to change his name.

We were quite lucky we had a girl as we had decided on her name before we even started trying. Boys names were far more contentious and we could not agree at all. It would probably have been named "boy"!

Thanks for the reassurance yesterday about the sun thing. What really frustrated me was that I has SPF 50 with me, I just didn't think it was needed!!!

Nazly, I remember your LO's name from when we announced births on the antenatal thread! I don't think he will get teased for it at all and I don't really think it's considered a girls name in this country, but rather in the United States. As IAte (I think) said, that also won't be an issue when he's a bit older and clearly a boy.

Completely agree with Ella too that with society being so multicultural these days (especially the closer to London you are) children will be much more used to others of a different culture, race, religion etc. and so won't be anything of note like they used to be.

I often worry about DD getting teased and bullied as she gets older for whatever reason, as kids can be so bloody nasty, it's a horrible thought! I still don't think it's OK but it is very common, and another parental chapter all us first time mums have to come!

Actuall, Nazly I remember your DS's name as well and I'd definitely presume a boy. Mainly because of the well known male comedian with the same name.

I am with Acorn, the comedian is the first person I think of, and therefore would assume boy. I think its a lovely name too Nazly. But as others have said, the UK is such a multi-cultural place these days I would try not to worry too much (easier said than done though, I know).

Thanks for the new thread FATE

I remembered something I meant to say about the name issue. At the last baby group I went to there were babies called Avaiya, Sorrayah, Mitchell, Bramble and Floyd. The worst most out there first name I've heard is 'Alcapone'. I realised that no names will really stand when our kids reach school as names in use now are so much more diverse than, for example, in the 50s, when every baby girl in the UK was named Susan

Ella, I love your DD's name, it's so pretty and really suits her from the pictures you've posted! Hope she feels better soon too, and that you have a better night tonight!

Hope she is feeling better, ella. team, have u heard that theory about early waking being due to an early, long 1st nap that is basically an extension of night time sleep? I think the remedy is to try to keep 1st nap short. Not generally a fan of gina Ford, but I think she is of this view. I would probably get my hands on one of her 'schedules' and see what time and duration she recommends for 1st nap if u haven't looked into this already

Hope your dd is better soon Ella

Nazly I've kind of guessed the name - I have an 18 year old distant relative of the same name and it has never been a problem for him !

I can assure you all that anything goes with names. My kids have been to school with Bramble, Mungo, Freedom, Mowgli, Lexus, London, Tallulah (x3), Hendrix, Tinkerbell, Chardonnay, Levi, Ellesse, Blue, Jax, Tequila and Ace. There are biblical names, shakespearian names, war time names, car names, surname names, strangely spelt names etc etc. When they started secondary school, my son came home he told me there was a boy with a really odd name that he thought was really old fashioned. The name was....."David" . (This reminded me of when I was at school, feeling sorry for a boy called George because he had such an old fashioned name - and look how popular that is now.)

I really like my kid's names at present, but I do have fleeting moments when I go off them and think I wish I had picked something else. They all have hebrew names - all quite timeless and that you would have heard before - but two aren't in the top hundred and one is top 10. It was more difficult choosing J's name as I had to try and find something original that I hadn't heard a hundred times already and that the twins approved of !

I am sure the party place will let you do that Ella (pay for two extra as standard rate). Makes sense, assuming they want to keep your business and I'm sure they'll let you.

I usually budget from £100-£150 all-in for a party - including food, party bags, prizes, entertainment or venue etc. I've done several at home and to be honest it is not all that much cheaper when you factor in the massive hassle of it at home.

Was thinking about parties today actually (been to a party with my 5 year old). Baby's birthday is 26th September and my 5 year olds birthday is 30th September (my birthday and my eldest also September). I would normally just do family parties until pre-school age but could consider a joint party for them. But I am torn because I don't want my 5 year old to feel he has to share his birthday, so on that basis might not do joint party. Not really sure.