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August 2011 - a place to wAit until the rest graduate !

(724 Posts)
MrsVidic Mon 08-Aug-11 07:25:43

Hi,
Thought I would start us a postnatal thread. Were still in hospital, here till Tuesday monitoring dd (now named Eva) and giving her the anti biotics. Im missing dd1 loads as I only get to see her at visiting and trying to contain a toddler on the ward is tough.

fizzypigs Fri 12-Aug-11 13:18:36

Thanks for congrats! Winter I am also struggling with night feeds. Absolutely knackering and I think psychologically there is something about night that makes them scary! I had a bit of a cry yesterday evening about it - think mostly down to exhaustion! I've no helpful advice but just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat wink x

MrsVidic Fri 12-Aug-11 14:12:03

Hi guys regarding getting your dc's to settle a few tips:
Ensure they are burped sufficiently
Put the mattress on a slope (prop up at 1 end with a towel)
Don't react to mumers- babies sometimes make noise before going to sleep.
Ensure they are warm enough

Hth

Eviepoo Fri 12-Aug-11 14:51:15

Hi guys, just marking my spot for when Dragon arrives and I can graduate with you. It is nice to read that you are doing well.

xx

fizzypigs Fri 12-Aug-11 18:32:52

Will be trying that advice mrsv! I have just discovered the wonders of cabbage leaves for sore boobs - wasn't convinced before but now I am!!

Firawla Fri 12-Aug-11 21:55:53

another tip it can be worth try swaddling them, that is working well for mine

MrsVidic Sat 13-Aug-11 08:03:06

Morning all,

We had a good night dd fed at 12, 3 and 5 but will settle easily after so its not really effecting my sleep. She only feeds for 10min- dd1 was the opposite but went for 5 hours so it's swings and roundabouts really.
I weighed myself today out of curiosity and I've already lost 1 stone 6 pounds so I'm chuffed with that- only 1 more stone to go!

I can not believe how much washing such a little person makes! She's quite sicky so were changing her outfit up to 4 times a day!

I'm going to attempt a walk with the double buggy today on my own.

fizzypigs Sat 13-Aug-11 09:01:04

Glad you had a good night mrsv!

We were up for a lot of it..had a good night previously but baby was back to not settling from around 1-4. He wasn't crying constantly, just didn't want to be put down & fed hrly.

Feel ok about it though better than I did previously! Fingers crossed that continues or even better that he goes back to feeding 3hrly at night x smile

Firawla Sat 13-Aug-11 12:28:01

mrsv thats really good! i dont dare weigh myself yet, i still look a bit pregnant and feel huge still so dont even wanna know how much i weigh! thinking ill give myself the 40 days for all the bleeding to finish & get a bit back to normal then go back to doing slimming world..

we had a good night, i think best one so far, i gave his bath about 7.30/8ish and then after that fed him and settled and wasnt up til about 2am! then back down and not up til 6ish. although i did have ds2 up couple of times and ds1 sneaking back into our bed, but still. fizzy i hope he settles better for you tonight, its soo tiring when they wont let you put them back down

WinterLover Sat 13-Aug-11 12:36:35

mrsv thats good grin

After my week in hospital I had lost all but 3lb, 1 and half stone loss in a week so I was definately happy about that. However the scales havent moved since then, but all my visitors are bringing me biscuits so as much as Im trying to be healthy its just not that easy.

Had a very good night with DS last night. He was feeding every hour yesterday, im now guessing he wanted more milk but there wasnt any there as my boobs have grown over night lol Managed to get 4 hours sleep before his first night feed smile then 3 hours before the next one!!

fizzypigs Sat 13-Aug-11 18:54:35

Hey! Just a quick post - anyone have any top tips for helping babies get rid of hiccups? Tried burping but doesn't seem to work. Thanks!

MrsVidic Sat 13-Aug-11 19:31:56

Fizzy- feeding them helps but apart from that there's nothing you can do.

We had the Mw round today and she informed us that talc is one of the main causes of cot death as it sits on the babies lungs! Oh and just to use cotton wool not wipes for 6 weeks as it causes escma! Cue me panicking and throwing all trace of talk away and airing upstairs for hours!

I'm having a takeaway tonight as I'm back at slimworld on Monday!

Dd2 is still scrunched up but she's just gorgeous- I can't get enough of her! Dd 1 is being really sweet but I have to be so careful she doesn't accidentally hurt dd2 with her hugs and kisses!

Leilandri Sat 13-Aug-11 20:15:42

Had midwife today, and DS2 has lost 7% of his birthweight, making him now a teeny tiny 7lbs 7oz. My DS1 was 9lbs 5oz and lost no weight whatsoever, so having such a tiny person is rather daunting. He is being brilliant so far tho, and letting me have a very easy ride! (I will eat these words in a week or two, I'm sure grin)

Last night he took loads at 11.30, then was still sound asleep at 4am when I woke for the loo, so I fed him anyway and he settled straight away and slept through til 8am. Tho DS1 was awake at 6am - Grrrrrrrr.

Currently I am co-sleeping with baby, as I can't lie down yet due to CS, so while I am still propped up, baby is sleeping on my chest which is really rather lovely, and not something I was able to do with DS1 as he was such a whopper!!

MrsV I am with you on the washing thing, baby has been in this world for 5 days and has already filled the washing machine twice! shock and DS1 has been brilliant with baby, but we are having to watch him like a hawk as he keeps wanting to hug baby, and touch him - narrowly missing his eyes everytime. hmm

Leilandri Sat 13-Aug-11 20:16:59

Oh and in other news (babybrain made me forget to add this to above post!) I stepped hesitantly onto my wii fit board today, and I have lost 7lbs in 5 days, so I'm happy with that grin

Leilandri Sat 13-Aug-11 20:21:51

Oh, me again!

Does anyone know of anything to help with constipation in a newborn. DS2 is struggling to go, tho I can see him trying, and hasn't been now for over 48 hours sad

Some oldwives tales are diluted orange juice, or rubbing butter around their anus confused but I wondered if anything actually worked?

WinterLover Sat 13-Aug-11 20:46:14

Leilandri DS was just the same when we was in hospital. The TC nurse said some babies can go 5 days without emptying themselves and its nothing to be concerned with. DS's constipation was in the transition between black tar poo and chicken korma poo (the hospitals definition)

MrsStevo Sat 13-Aug-11 21:27:17

Leilandri - I was a bit worried that one of my girls was constipated as she didn't 'go' for over 48 hours, having previously given me at least 2 dirty nappies a day. Research told me that babies can go 5 days without pooping and sometimes 7 if they are breastfed. Fortunately I didn't have to worry for long as Madeleine then produced 3 spectacular nappies in as many hours!!

I also read about OJ and stuff but wasn't keen to give my 3 week old fruit juices. There are some baby massage techniques that are supposed to help - massaging just south-east of their tummy button with two fingers in a circular motion and also holding both their feet and pulling them towards you and then bending their knees back to their tummy button over and over. HTH.

I am knackered today. Mum is staying and helping with all the boring stuff like housework, washing and cooking. Unfortunately DH has taken that as his cue to do bugger all so his contribution to the day is to just cuddle the babies when they are being cute and sleepy and then disappear into nowhere when there's feeding / changing nappies / bathing to be done. I'm about a day away from snapping at him and / or punching him in the face.

Still totally smitten with our girls. They are just so perfect and everyone keeps telling me how beautiful they are. I love going out for walks with them as we get stopped by hundreds of people who want to gawp at twins! I don't mind a bit for now but suspect it may get a little tedious in the not too distant future ... or when I need to get somewhere in a hurry!

Yukana Sat 13-Aug-11 21:57:27

Marking my place. Nice to see everyone here, how are all of your babies doing?

Freyja is a sleepy baby, she's colic so we got some drops and she's been doing much better since. She however, lost a lot of weight and I'm worried she'll have to go into hospital if this keeps up. She usually finds it difficult to feed a lot - a requirement as she's a big baby and needs the extra nutrition. I've tried to breastfeed, but find my confidence broken by the fact she is losing weight and the midwives are concerned. They offered to give me support at the hospital nearby, but for my own mental health I can not spend anymore time in the hospital.

When I was told during my hospital stay after the birth that I had to make a decision whether to have her breastfeed or bottle formula feed (as the breastfeeding wasn't going well and they wouldn't let me go home) I cried uncontrollably for a whole day. Even now when I think about still failing with the breastfeeding I break into sobs. I just want her to be happy and healthy, but for some reason I cannot let go of the thought of breastfeeding. Is it postnatal depression? I also don't really have much of an appetite.

Just wondered around what age do babies start being able to sleep more inbetween feeds?

MrsVidic Sun 14-Aug-11 01:07:48

Yukana- babies will sleep more gradually- yet each growth spurt will be up to a week of feeding almost constantly! You can dual
Feed- express a bottle a day and give your dc both! Bfeeding takes a lot of faith and is so much easier then second time as you are more confident- yet I'm sure if you feel that strongly you could keep trying? How is it with your medication? The best thong to do is speak to ppl in rl about things especially drs about your pnd who will be able to help.

Yukana Sun 14-Aug-11 05:39:10

My milk has come in so I've got a fair bit of it, I just find expressing by hand really quite difficult. I remember using a pump at the hospital to try to express milk but got barely anything out of it, perhaps it's worth another try as my milk definitely has come in now and I don't think that was the case back then. I find breastfeeding easier now than I did before, but little one still doesn't go on the breast for very long. A part of me knows the added stress of that and the fact she is losing weight means I should probably give up and find an alternative, but I'm finding it mentally difficult to let go.

The only 'medication' I have to speak of is iron tablets twice a day, so nothing more than that. I have considered anti-depressants before but worry I'll feel like a fake, that it will change who I am.

I worry about speaking to professionals about things like this. As soon as I mentioned that I had depression and an anxiety disorder, the hospital assigned me with a social worker, something I don't want. (I prefer the support of my family, and the local children's center to worrying about what the social services may do everytime I see them). My mother has been amazing throughout, giving me the support I need to keep going sometimes. I honestly don't know what is wrong with me, when I think about failing to breastfeed I can't stop crying, and suddenly feel very fragile.

On a happier note, Freyja didn't scream during the night last night, for which I am relieved. She did have a crying phase just as we went to bed, but settled down quickly compared to before. A midwife is coming over today to see if she's put on weight, and I sincerely hope so!

MrsVidic Sun 14-Aug-11 08:24:16

Yukana-Just to reassure you social services are pushed to the limit with their case loads and there just arent enough foster famailies- I really wouldn't fear their involvement- I know as someone with a mental health history you can feel tarred for life but actually recovery etc is seen as a massive stregnth of character and you shouldn't worry about asking for help.

DD slept really well last night only woke twice, quick feed and back to sleep! I'm banking my sleep while I can though as I know how quickly these things can change! DD1 is pushing her limits at the moment- refusing to share with her friends and pushing- we are being consistant with the pushing with the naughty space and giving extra cuddles as when she falls shes really crying atm. To be honest I'm finding coping with her behaviour harder than having a newborn! Then I feel guilty about finding her hard work as we used to have such fun etc! So I'm doing 1 thing a day just me and her while baby sleeps- ie I did bed time alone with her last night and we had a lot of stories and the day before we made pictures.

Any other second timers finding this?

Firawla Sun 14-Aug-11 11:29:21

mrs V my oldest is also pushing his limits a bit at the moment, i think it will help more when he goes back to his normal routine though, as it was the same when i had my 2nd. but my younger one has not given any trouble so far

this morning ive woke up with really bad pains, i feel like i can hardly walk. i dunno what it is i didnt have with the other 2 sad so ive called the midwives and they said to come in, which is a huge pain but hopefully they will sort it out for me

MrsVidic Sun 14-Aug-11 13:04:37

Hope your ok Firawla

Firawla Sun 14-Aug-11 15:04:44

im back, seem to be okay they said its prob just severe afterpains as it gets worse with each child? but have sent some things for testing. after i came out from hospital 2 quite big clots came out (sorry gross i know :P) so still feeling bit weak but atleast im able to walk around and stuff now. trying to get dh to help a bit more, lifting and carrying ds2 for me etc, cos he is really heavy so not sure its great to keep carrying him round

MrsStevo Sun 14-Aug-11 16:34:44

yukana - I felt the same as you about bottle feeding. My girls weren't getting the hang of latching on well enough to get a decent feed so they were screaming with hunger which was SO upsetting to hear. I had been determined that they would be exclusively breastfed and tried and tried to carry on but it was too painful and neither they nor I were happy about it. DH and I made the decision to bottle feed them - mostly my expressed milk at the time but now it is mostly formula. I sobbed when we made the decision but knew I'd done the right thing after their first bottle feed - both of them had a good fill and settled beautifully and the whole feeding experience was a lot calmer so I felt a lot better. Plus we got to take the girls home 48 hours after starting the bottle feeding as the hospital were satisfied that we had 'established feeding'.

Now we're home I'm still very hopeful to return to at least partial breastfeeding and try to put the girls on the boob every day. I am expressing after every feed though to make sure I keep my milk up and to ensure that they still get some of the goodness from my milk. I would deffo recommend getting an electric breastpump if you can afford one (or rent one?) - they do work very well once your milk has come in so don't be disheartened by it not being very successful in hospital. Hand expressing is all very well and good but you don't get nearly as much and it takes agggggggges. I would also deffo recommend that you carry on trying to put her on the boob at each feed - even if she just takes a couple of sucks and gives up she won't forget how to do it. What has worked well for us is giving the girls a full bottle feed and then putting them on the boob in between meals when they seem a bit unsettled and want comforting. That way they aren't missing a meal if they don't eat and the whole experience isn't a trauma as they aren't screaming with hunger.

I still feel very guilty that they're not breastfeeding as that seems the "normal" thing to do but the way we're doing things works for us and the girls are putting on weight. I also think that it is far better to have a happier mummy who is bottle feeding than a stressed out frazzled one who is desperately trying to breastfeed.

In relation to you not having much of an appetite, if nothing else make sure you drink plenty of water / squash so that you don't get dehydrated. If you do decide to carry on breastfeeding or expressing then you need to be well hydrated otherwise you won't get much and that can be very disheartening too.

HTH anyway. You are definitely not alone in how you feel though I assure you and please don't feel like a failure if you decide not to breastfeed - you aren't at all. Freyja is lucky to have a mum who cares so much about her health and she has already had some of your milk which is a fantastic start for her.

Yukana Sun 14-Aug-11 17:28:27

Thank you MrsStevo, it's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling like this. You made me feel a bit better.

I think what I'll do is solely bottlefeed her, and put her on the breast if she needs comfort. I'll express once I'm able to steralize the electric breast pump a family friend has given us. I'm not sure how much I'll get out of it, but my breasts currently are leaking due to the volume!

She's crying at the moment, she's had a good feed (75ml formula) but she gets very bad wind, I put some colic drops in her bottle and tried winding her a couple of times, but she's not settling. Could she be crying for attention? It's stressful to listen to but I don't know whether to ignore her or not. I changed her nappy just before feeding her which wasn't long ago, but I'm going to check it now just incase.

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