wwyd - ds pushed (fully clothed) in pool by other kid

(203 Posts)
duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 09:16:25

we are on holiday and I'd been for a swim in the hotel pool with my ds1. After we'd finished I was tidying uo and my ds was waiting for me - quite near the edge of the pool but he is sensible and I had my eyes on him the whole time.

Suddenly a boy - aged about 6/7- raced up and pushed ds in. I rushed in fully clothed to pull him out. I wasn't out of my depth but 2yo ds most defintely was. It was horrifying seeing my child submerged in the water.

My son was not surprisingly hysterical when I pulled him out and coughing etc.

The dad of the boy picked up his son and started hurrying away sort of poking his boy in the cheek as he went. I shouted after them "you could have killed my son". But they were hurrying fast and I wasn't really trying to catch them anyway.

Lots of people from around the pool were watching and staff came hurrying forward (obviously not wanting a scene). Suggested going to the indoor changing rooms to dry off and carried our bags for us. We were both soaking wet.

I just feel really traumatised and shaken by it now. Should I have remonstrated more with the boy/his dad or conplained to the pool attendants?? They obviously knoow what happened but should I have made more of a fuss.

HDee Sun 27-Jan-13 09:44:52

I never make mine say sorry, and I really don't think I'd have hung around in this situation for long either. I'm not the sort of person to stand and take a roasting for something out of my control.

Sorry is just a word. What would seeing a hysterical, soaking wet child and mote have achieved?

duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 09:45:11

My ds always wear reins on the street but I think a pool when I'm watching him and nearby is less dangerous.

Nishky Sun 27-Jan-13 09:47:03

I agree with HDee - why on earth did you think a 2 year old was safe out of your reach near water? The ' he's sensible' doesn't wash with me eithe I am afraid.

HDee Sun 27-Jan-13 09:47:06

Duplo, I have had a few two year olds, and on a road with cars I would never, ever trust one of them not to wander into the road. You honestly know people with two year olds who let their child walk next to a road without being held?

OddBoots Sun 27-Jan-13 09:47:30

If my child caused another child harm I would at the very least stay around to make sure there was no major injury and I would apologise for not keeping my child under my control. Isn't that the very minimum one should do?

HDee Sun 27-Jan-13 09:48:54

Yes, if it was a push in a soft play area, or a knock on the head with a toy, but not in the situation described.

5madthings Sun 27-Jan-13 09:49:01

Well its not very nice but sometimes kids do silly things, the 'pusher' wont have thought about the consequences.

If my child did that i would be very cross and would apologise myself to you but i agree you shouldnt have let him stand my the edge of the pool on his own.

My youngest is two and when by the pool or any water she must hold my hand and ds4 who.is four must stay right by me. Children are not sensible?! And even the most sensible kid in the world has moments where they do something stupid.

Anyway get your son checked out and i hope he is ok. Maybe the boy and the dad wl apologise if they see you again, i suspect he was mortified tbh.

duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 09:52:09

The dad didnt really say anything to me though I think he would have got in to get ds if I wasnt already doing so. Re the road comment - I wouldn't not hold my ds on a road but yes I have seen people with multiple children have the older ones walk alongside them on the inside of the pavement.

BackforGood Sun 27-Jan-13 09:53:53

What 5madthings and others have said.
Understandably you were shaken up and scared, but the other little child was 6 - he'd have not thought through the "possibles" and "what ifs" any more than you did - and you are both an adult and a parent. The other child's parent was on the scene straight away and clearly - from your description - giving him what for. He was probably embarassed and dealt with it the best way he could. No idea why you are thinking of complaining to pool attendants - what are they supposed to do, except perhaps suggest that non swimming infants shouldn't be poolside of their parents at all times ?

JenaiMorris Sun 27-Jan-13 09:53:59

I think I would have dragged ds away in the manner this father did, and seek you out later to apologise.

Your toddler should not have been so close to the pool - do you know how easy it is for a small child to drown before anyone even realises they've slipped into the water?

Letmeintroducemyself Sun 27-Jan-13 09:56:57

I hesitate to post but I am going to.

My son nearly drowned in my sister's pool, which is gated off - the latch couldn't have caught.

I was in the kitchen over looking the pool and I heard a splash - my initial thought was to wonder how the dog had got over the fence - then the penny dropped and I realised it was probably DS.

It seemed like forever but he was rising back up when I went out - the covers were on the pool so if I hadn't heard the splash ........

I saved my hysterics for when ds wasn't about (I also didn't realise I should have called doctor).

Since then - I do not remove arms bands from my DCs until we are away from pool area anywhere and the holiday rule is no arm bands no swimming.

I learned from our lucky escape - which would have been my fault entirely - and so should the OP.

You should have given dc a hug and not worried about other family. I am vert glad ds is old though.

duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 09:57:18

My ds was being watched all the time though and I was just shoving our swimming stuff in a bag. I honestly would not have left him unattended but short of putting him on reins I couldn''t hold onto him at all times.

Letmeintroducemyself Sun 27-Jan-13 10:00:06

duplo unless you change your attitude your ds is an accident waiting to happen - you don't hold his hand on the road? my 5 year old holds my hands on the road.

seriously it only takes a second as this incident should have shown you.

duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 10:03:10

I said I do hold my son by the road. But I view a swimming pool where I am watching (and talking to) him as slightly less dangerous. After all it takes a few mins to drown but I had him out the water in seconds.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 27-Jan-13 10:03:10

Perhaps the hotel staff could send someone to have a word with the parents of the other child, reminding them about pool safety and the rules. That is if they are resident there.
OP, it wasn't your fault but I would seriously consider putting yourself between your son and the water when you are packing, or getting him to sit for on the bench.
You might not be able to physically hold him all the time, but you need to be more aware.
Next time he could fall in of his own accord.

LIZS Sun 27-Jan-13 10:07:26

Agree it would be best if hotel staff reminded family of behaviour code in pool area and even that a further breech could mean they cannot use it again. Their priority ahs to be the safety of other guests. Of course it is possible that the child has SEN or in any case should have been better supervised anyway if prone to such impulsive actions.

specialsubject Sun 27-Jan-13 10:09:19

nasty fright all round - and the other kid should have been disciplined and told to apologise. Pushing people into water is not a jolly jape even though all kids want to do it. Nothing the attendants could do.

but you were right there to rescue your child, which you did. He'll be fine. If he had been unconscious, even for a moment, it is an A and E job (secondary drowning) but otherwise unless he shows unusual symptoms, don't worry.

and get him back in the water ASAP.

JenaiMorris Sun 27-Jan-13 10:09:59

it takes a few mins to drown but I had him out the water in seconds.

Oh that's alright then hmm

Seriously, accidents happen and nobody's perfect but you do seem a little in denial as to your role in this.

Letmeintroducemyself Sun 27-Jan-13 10:10:47

sorry misread your post and thought it said you didn't - apologies

FannyFifer Sun 27-Jan-13 10:16:46

Can't believe people are having a go at the OP.

Both my children were sensible as toddlers. If I said stand there and don't move then that's exactly what they did.

Hope your little one is ok, you were right beside him and got him out quickly so try not to worry.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Sun 27-Jan-13 10:17:35

So how do other mums manage packing the stuff up when you go swimming and a 2yo? She had an eye on him enough to see what happened, enough to get him out.

Op the dad should have stayed to make sure your ds was ok & apologise. Or be talking to the rep about who you are to apologise.

mercibucket Sun 27-Jan-13 10:18:09

I would speak to hotel management to see if that boy can be banned from being poolside. I doubt there's much else you can do. Agree with all the posters who suggest playing it down to your son and getting him back in the water as soon as possible. Absolutely disagree with any poster who suggests this was anything to do with you or letting your son stand near the pool. This is entirely the fault of a very poorly brought up child with useless parents, or alternatively the actions of a child with some kind of special need who was being poorly supervised by his parents.
Hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday and don't let this spoil things for you

mercibucket Sun 27-Jan-13 10:18:10

I would speak to hotel management to see if that boy can be banned from being poolside. I doubt there's much else you can do. Agree with all the posters who suggest playing it down to your son and getting him back in the water as soon as possible. Absolutely disagree with any poster who suggests this was anything to do with you or letting your son stand near the pool. This is entirely the fault of a very poorly brought up child with useless parents, or alternatively the actions of a child with some kind of special need who was being poorly supervised by his parents.
Hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday and don't let this spoil things for you

Nishky Sun 27-Jan-13 10:20:13

Fanny- did you stand them next to a pool when on holiday and they are likely to be excited though

My toddlers would have been involved in helping me pack the bag rather than being told to stand still. Thus ensuring they are with me and toddlers enjoy that sort of thing

Nishky Sun 27-Jan-13 10:21:33

Oh come on mercibucket- ban the child from the poolside? You have to be kidding.

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