wwyd - ds pushed (fully clothed) in pool by other kid

(203 Posts)
duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 09:16:25

we are on holiday and I'd been for a swim in the hotel pool with my ds1. After we'd finished I was tidying uo and my ds was waiting for me - quite near the edge of the pool but he is sensible and I had my eyes on him the whole time.

Suddenly a boy - aged about 6/7- raced up and pushed ds in. I rushed in fully clothed to pull him out. I wasn't out of my depth but 2yo ds most defintely was. It was horrifying seeing my child submerged in the water.

My son was not surprisingly hysterical when I pulled him out and coughing etc.

The dad of the boy picked up his son and started hurrying away sort of poking his boy in the cheek as he went. I shouted after them "you could have killed my son". But they were hurrying fast and I wasn't really trying to catch them anyway.

Lots of people from around the pool were watching and staff came hurrying forward (obviously not wanting a scene). Suggested going to the indoor changing rooms to dry off and carried our bags for us. We were both soaking wet.

I just feel really traumatised and shaken by it now. Should I have remonstrated more with the boy/his dad or conplained to the pool attendants?? They obviously knoow what happened but should I have made more of a fuss.

duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 09:18:38

The pool attendants were sympathetic and got us water etc but I was crying and at the time it didn't occur to me to strat complaing about the boy.

BertieBotts Sun 27-Jan-13 09:25:05

shock You should have put his age in the title - I assumed he was older and it was a prank (still not great obv) - but who pushes a toddler into the water? That's horrendous.

I don't know about complaining - I'm not sure what the hotel staff could do? I mean presumably they would know who the other family are if they are guests.

Also you need to get DS checked out by a doctor because he might have inhaled some water. Even if he seems fine, get him checked over ASAP just in case.

meditrina Sun 27-Jan-13 09:27:01

The father will know how dangerous it was. And nothing you say will make any real difference to the way he disciplines his DC.

And it is probably better that your DC does not hear the unexpurgated version of your initial reaction. I hope he's ok now.

HDee Sun 27-Jan-13 09:28:42

It was a 6 year old boy thinking he was being funny, in holiday mode, and not considering the consequences. It's why we have to supervise our children, because they are prone to stupidity.

But there is no way a two year old should have been out of arms reach of you near water anyway. He could just as easily have tripped or slipped in himself.

ohforfoxsake Sun 27-Jan-13 09:29:37

I would complain to the hotel management and your rep if you have one.

Knowing I'd have to see that arsehole parent at breakfast would ruin things for me as I'd want to yell at him.

What happened was horrible for both of you, but he handled it really badly.

You might not achieve much by complaining, but you'll feel better and the hotel may make an effort to give you a better holiday while you are there.

BertieBotts Sun 27-Jan-13 09:30:12

In fact the pool attendants should have arranged this - I'm sure they must know the risks!

If he has any of the following symptoms in fact you need to take him to A+E:

Persistent coughing lasting over 20 minutes
Sudden tiredness or lack of energy (excepting usual nap times etc)
Chest pain (or any pain as small children are not great at identifying where it's coming from)
Difficulty breathing (although I'm sure this one is obvious!)

Other than that out of hours will probably be ok, but I wouldn't leave it until Monday.

duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 09:30:24

oh god yeah - I need to take him to the doctors. I was thinking that initially as well but when he stopped crying I was so relieved that I forgot about it. It was an outdoor pool so not sure how clean it was at all.

SavoyCabbage Sun 27-Jan-13 09:30:51

I dot think there's much the hotel could do really. You didn't see it coming and neither did the pool attendants.

I would gloss over it with your ds. I don't blame you for being shaken up.

ohforfoxsake Sun 27-Jan-13 09:31:10

HDee bad form of you to turn this on the OP.

HDee Sun 27-Jan-13 09:31:29

Ohforfoxsake, ridiculous. Why would you want to dwell on it? Why is the other parent an arsehole? Kids do stupid stuff.

HDee Sun 27-Jan-13 09:32:29

Bad form? So we always have to take the view that the OP holds no responsibility? I missed that memo, sorry. It wasn't in the rules when I signed up.

ohforfoxsake Sun 27-Jan-13 09:33:28

What would you do Hdee if your child ha done the pushing? Laugh and tell the OP to get a sense of humour?

Or if your toddler had been pushed in? Tell him to get over it?

BertieBotts Sun 27-Jan-13 09:35:27

I agree there's nothing the hotel can do. They can't control the behaviour of the other guests. However the pool attendants should have directed you to medical attention because of your DS's age. He will in all likelihood be fine but it's best to get young children checked out if they've fallen into water because they can panic and inhale it - there is a reflex which should prevent this, but best to be safe really.

HDee Sun 27-Jan-13 09:36:57

No, offs, I would have told him off and made him understand how dangerous it was. Why do you assume the other parent hasn't done this? He walked away jabbing the boy's cheek.

duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 09:37:44

thanks for quick replies. I will ask the hotel reception re the doctor issue - I think they were horrified too.

Re ds being out of arms reach - he is sensible and has never fallen in a pool before - he was maybe 1 foot from the edge and I had my eyes on him. I obviously would never leave him unattended near water but he wasn't I was near just packing our stuff away.

HDee Sun 27-Jan-13 09:38:05

If my toddler had been pushed in, I'd get over it, yes. I'd dry him off, make him feel better, feed him a biscuit and he'd probably forget pretty soon.

PoppyWearer Sun 27-Jan-13 09:38:06

Sounds horrific, OP.

perplexedpirate Sun 27-Jan-13 09:39:05

Sorry you are shaken up OP, that must be horrible.
However, there is no way a 2 yr old old is 'sensible' enough to be left out of direct reach by a pool.
Similarly, although the 6 yr old did a very stupid and mean-spirited thing, at 6 he isn't really responsible. It sounds like he got a good telling off from his dad as well.
I'm not sure what complaining about him (them?) will achieve.

MarshaBrady Sun 27-Jan-13 09:39:11

That's awful. And you can be very close and not stop a child shoving a toddler. Poor little thing.

HDee Sun 27-Jan-13 09:39:38

The words sensible and two-years-old dont really belong in the same sentence do they? They are unpredictable. However, this was just a stupid accident. Thank God you we paying attention, but dwelling on it won't help anyone.

OddBoots Sun 27-Jan-13 09:42:07

HDee " Why is the other parent an arsehole? Kids do stupid stuff."

Maybe because they didn't stay to make sure the toddler was okay, or make the 6 year old face the consequences of what they had done, or say sorry?

duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 09:43:26

I was maybe a metre away from my son. Loads of 2/3 yos I know are trusted to walk along quiet streets next to their mum (say when mum pushoing a buggy) wbo jumping in the road.

Notquitegrownup Sun 27-Jan-13 09:44:28

Your poor ds - and poor you too. What a shock!!

Of course the other family should have apologised to you, profusely and lengthily. Maybe they panicked however. What their ds did was very dangerous indeed and must have been awful, for everyone, to watch. Whilst my ds1 didn't do anythiing that dangerous, he did do some very rash things quite out of the blue at that age, and whilst I always punished him I am aware that I may not, at the same time, have dealt with the other people involved as I ought. My focus, I think, was usually remove him from the place/situation, in order to gain control of the situation and then to punish him appropriately. I always used to try to apologise later - maybe they will do the same and seek you out to apologise?

It sounds as if you did all that you could, You made sure that your ds was safe and your priority at the time was to calm him, and to get him safe and dry, with the help of the staff there. I think that it's important to keep this in perspective for him, and not let it put him off swimming pools. Swimming together can bring so much fun, and what happened was very very rare. Try to reassure your son as much as you can ("Goodness, that was so unlucky" and "It's very very sllly to run near swimming pools in case you knock someone in" )and vent the anger which you must be very rightly feeling on here. smile

So glad that your ds is OK. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

PPT Sun 27-Jan-13 09:44:52

duplotractor- this is in no way your fault- you were supervising your son- if it weren't for the other boy, your son wouldn't have fallen in- and you were close enough to jump in and rescue him.

Try (hard as it might be) not to dwell further on this, or let it ruin your holiday. It was a stupid thing for the older boy to do, but I'd leave it now. Don't let this mar enjoying further experiences in the pool. I'd get your son swimming again as soon as is reasonable, as it'd be sad to develop any fears.

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