Biblical Mumsnet

(272 Posts)
BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels Thu 06-Dec-12 10:59:31

TheVirginMary: AIBU to think that dh could have at least booked a hotel?

Relationships: DH is coveting our neighbours DW, should I LTB or wait for God to smite him?

Good Housekeeping: Feck! How do I get rid of a plague of locusts?

AIBU: She's not having my child so why should I pay for a Inn. She cam give birth in a barn for all I care. It's God this, God that.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 06-Dec-12 11:20:51

Style and Beauty: I've found the perfect jacket, but it's a wool-linen mix.sad

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels Thu 06-Dec-12 11:22:24

style & beauty: I need a new sackcloth, can anyone find an alternative to this Hobbs one?

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels Thu 06-Dec-12 11:24:13

Vaccinations: pros and cons of the new Leprosy vaccine?

GreenyEyes Thu 06-Dec-12 11:24:20

AIBU to think DH should have asked these visitors to leave?

Seriously, just given birth to our first child- a donkey, some sheep, a whole bunch of shepherds, cattle lowing all over the place and three visiting dignitaries. Is a little privacy too much to ask?

AIBU: I told my son to get washed. Instead he started running around on top of the water. Should I send him to bed with no supper? He was meant to be making it for 5000 closest family and friends

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels Thu 06-Dec-12 11:25:53

should I send G+T ds to a public or state temple?

SantaKittenClaws Thu 06-Dec-12 11:27:58

I haven't seen DS2 for a while, and Cain (DS1) has been looking shifty ever since they went to play in the local field..do you think I should be worried?

GrimmaTheNome Thu 06-Dec-12 11:28:48

Feminism/Women's Rights: [silence] <sorry, not allowed to teach>

SantaKittenClaws Thu 06-Dec-12 11:30:04

DH says he wants 30 sons and 30 daughters - I think this is a bit excessive. Who is BU?

GreenyEyes Thu 06-Dec-12 11:30:29

AIBU to want some 'me time'?

40 days and 40 nights isn't too much to ask is it?

GrimmaTheNome Thu 06-Dec-12 11:31:38

Weather: OYBBK, can this forecast possibly be right? I mean I know we've had some wet summers but 40 days and nights of rain seems a bit much.

Chat: What stupid things do your husband's agree to? Mine is building a ark because God said so!

LRDtheFeministDude Thu 06-Dec-12 11:32:32

Nicely done grimma.

Feminism: AIBU to worry that my carefully-written gospel, with first-hand accounts of Jesus' life, may not be totally safe with that shifty publisher Paul? He says, yes, Mary, of course it'll be clear you were Jesus's right-hand woman, but somehow I don't trust him ...

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels Thu 06-Dec-12 11:32:35

AIBU? we were supposed to have goat for dinner, but dh has sacrificed it. WIBU to feed the family on loaves and fishes instead?

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels Thu 06-Dec-12 11:33:46

(ps, these are ace)

Chat: Please tell me it's not just my husband that talks to a burning bush ans then decides its a sign from god hmm

Lilymaid Thu 06-Dec-12 11:44:12

DH thinks we should have a child, I'm about 80 and he's 100 so I laughed at him ... but I have a strange feeling that I'm pregnant. I don't know how he'll cope, he's so tied up with his religion that he would happily sacrifice the child on an altar if he thought God wanted him to do that.

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels Thu 06-Dec-12 11:45:35

looking for a new 4 bed house close to good state schools, whats Sodom like?

ghoulelocks Thu 06-Dec-12 11:45:54

AIBU: To think my cousin is has gone one step to far this time, she's claiming that it's ok her DH isn't the father because God is!!! The shame...

Pregnancy: I'm finding it hard to calculate my due date as the date the angel visited and the date of my LMP don't tally up.

Relationships: MY Dh Samson thinks he's the life and soul of every party, now he's literally gone and brought the house down. LTB?

AIBU: To refuse the kids a Christmas tree? Last time we dealt with a lighted bush it was followed by 40 years in the wilderness

AIBU: To prefer it when the water became wine to this new fashion for blood in a cup?

G&T: I'm so proud of my Noah, he floated his stock just as everyone else went into liquidation.

Mumsnet local: We are the original Christmas club, come along for tea buiscuits and a warm welcome.

AIBU: To complain the female toilets at my University are being used by someone who I KNOW just pretends to eat, drink and be Mary.

AIBU: Our Danny as been fucking about in a den of lions. Now he wants to one home!

Style & Beauty: I gave my son a Technicolor coat and now I think his siblings may be jealous. Where can I find similar ones?

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels Thu 06-Dec-12 11:53:36

AIBU to tell MIL to stop sending us false idols for gifts?

vladthedisorganised Thu 06-Dec-12 11:55:06

Sleep: DS1 keeps waking up in the night. Suspected night terrors but he's not distressed, just insists someone's shouting for him and blames me. WIBU to send him to the local temple for a bit so I can get a decent night's kip?

LRDtheFeministDude Thu 06-Dec-12 12:01:43

ghoule you are a genius. grin

Relationships: DH keeps comparing my teeth to flocks of sheep, my norks to gazelles and he says I'm a right mare to look at. I think his breath smells of wine. Should I be concerned or is this actually deeply romantic and erotic?

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