Ectopic pregnancy support thread

(742 Posts)
tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 18-Mar-12 18:15:29

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock hmm)

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC sad.

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have wine, brew and thanks

stillhoping Sun 24-Mar-13 22:46:59

hi Myrtle1981 i was like you to amazed by the amount of women/familys ectopic and miscaridges effect, after my 1st ectopic last year a older lady at work came up to me held my like hand and said she knew what i was going through as it happened to her years before 9made me cry!!)
i always knew i would have problems with fertiltiy but never in my life did i think i would have problems staying pregnant, just want to get back ttc.

i actually got my period today, my first after ectopic at christmas so kinda glad my body looks to be getting back to some kind of normality

claire like delilahbelle said an ectopic isn't a viable pregnancy so nothing you could have done would have made any difference, i felt the same way at christmas when i was being told i had to have the injections before it would be too late....i started refussing to have them as they couldn't locate where the pregnancy was so i hung on to the hope they had got it wrong..(deep down i knew they were right) i actually found a great surport group on facebook and was talijng with them the whole time i was in hospital and they made me see that i had to have the injections as my life and and last remaing tube was at risk.

i really would see if there is any surport group or someone to talk to about your ectopic, nothing will stop you forgetting what you went through but talking about it can really help you move on hun (did you not get any surport ect from your hospital after the surgry) x

joby21 Sun 24-Mar-13 23:04:21

tired Many belated confratulations on the new arrival! Am glad baby tired arrived safe and sound x

clare I would try and speakto your gp about getting some counselling. An ectopic pregnancy is never a viable pregnancy, and left untreated, it could be fatal. I know that doesn't make things any easier but you had no choice but have surgery.

Sorry i can't remember everyone else's namesbut hope you are all starting to feel a bit sunnier about things xx

HateTheWait Thu 04-Apr-13 11:39:13

Clare, how you feel is completely normal but Joby is right, there is nothing you could have done. I know how you feel though - had a ruptured ectopic in July 2012, I knew something was wrong as I started fainting and my lips went blue so we went to A&E... and during the scan, they showed I was bleeding and then showed me my baby in the tube and even were able to show me its little blood supply using imaging. So I knew it was alive and of course the next thing you have to do to consent to its removal. I will always remember that image of my baby and feel the sadness because I feel like it would have been a strong healthy pregnancy since it was still alive in the tube and so must have been a fighter. But it just got lost along the way. I will always regret what happened but I know I couldnt have done anything to change it. And I feel better since I felt lots of love for the baby and I feel like it would have known that since it was inside me. And at least knowing before the surgery meant me and my husband and my parents and sister all got to say goodbye to the baby and that we love it.

I am actually crying in Starbucks now as I write this! So the sadness will come back every now and then but that is normal.

It might be my hormones since I just found out I am four weeks pregnant. I cant even be happy about it. Its so incredibly stressful now as I had a scan and they couldnt see anything as its too early. So they took blood on Tueaday and again today. If the hcg has doubled since Tuesday, that is a good sign. If not, it could be a sign of another ectopic. I am so worried we will lose it again. So I am just crossing my fingers and wishing as hard as I can that this little one is in the right place and will be OK. I wish I could fast forward to being 12/13 weeks so I can relax a little, this knot in my stomach of nerves cant be good for me or the little one.

Just to give hope fo anyone TTC with one tube like me, we conceived the first month of trying despite being one tube down!

Xx

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 04-Apr-13 13:23:14

hi hatethewait sorry to hear of your EP, but reassuring to hear you're pg again now. Keep up posted on the blood results. When do you hear? My hospital used to call me the same day. The wait is SO so so awful, I remember it well. I could hardly function outside of work, I just used up all my energy and ability to be "normal" at work and then just sat and stared into space at home.

My EP was a year ago and I started crying at a TV programme the other day where people were doing video diaries of POAS and finding out they were pg. They were all so happy/excited/dazed and I just felt my loss of innocence so keenly, POAS on a stick this time was just stress and fear sad I kind of feel bad that this baby didn't get the same happy emotions as I got with DD and the MMC baby, daft I know!

clare I completely empathise with how you're feeling, but like everyone else has said, you really really didn't have any choice. There was one poor lady (possibly on another thread on MN) that was in a terrible state with her EP and refused to have the op - the consultant was talking about having her sectioned so they could operate and save her life. In the end she consented and had the operation. I hope that hasn't freaked you out reading that but I just wanted to bring it home really you didn't have any choice. I still have wobbles now more than a year later, I think EP is an experience that can really stay with you. I've had counselling since my MMC and EP and it has helped me, is that something you'd consider?

squizita Wed 10-Apr-13 16:00:56

Hi all, I just wondered if I could get some advice. I have just been 'downgraded' from a PUL to a PUV but asked to stay vigilant. At the EPU I asked for clarification regarding unique symptoms such as shoulder tip pain... but I forgot to ask about urine/defacation pain. What should I look out for? Sharp? Achy? Where?

I am terrified of every tiny pain at the moment it is driving me mad.

I am due back in the EPU Friday for another scan, which is a relief, and I had a scan yesterday which showed a sac (they think a normal one but not developed yet as I am 5+4 only) and nothing tubal but am paranoid at every bit of wind I get.

stillhoping Thu 11-Apr-13 21:42:32

a year today i had emergancey surgery for my 1st ep, just felt like crying all day, didn't help that i was working in the exact same spot whereat work when i got the awfull pain and i new my pregnancy was coming to an end and rang epu to be told to get there asap....

squizita, i don't remember any urine/defacation pain with either my ep, i actually had no pain with my first just bleeding earlier on in pregancey, the pain in my side and shoulder came on very suddenly and at the same time and got so much worse, with my 2nd i got pain in my back and tummy at the same time, i just felt very heavy in tummy (if that makes sence) and the some bleeding and i had 2 injections when i started to feel some shoulder pain.
but im sure evry women has different symptoms
good luck with your scans and fingers crossed for you hun

night all x

delilahbelle Fri 12-Apr-13 08:28:57

Follow up appointment with consultant yesterday to check how I'm getting on. Weird to think it's been over 6 weeks already. I'm healing well, and we had a bit of discussion about what happened - apparently it wasn't a full cornual ectopic as I didn't have a full thickness rupture. So that's good from a trying again sooner point of view. Conversely, my uterus was splitting on the outside only not the inside, along old scar tissue from my tubal removal, and the consultant said they couldn't guarantee something like that wouldn't happen again. I will get lots of monitoring in any future pregnancies, if any.
Back to work on Monday for me, I've been signed off for ages as I had open surgery, but to be fair I think I needed it. I still get a bit tired and achey at the end of the day.

I do wonder where my life with be in a year's time. Hopefully I'll be heavily pregnant, but I can't quite believe it will ever happen for me.

squizita Fri 12-Apr-13 16:36:47

Thanks stillhoping. Scan today confirmed not ectopic... but suspected blighted ovum. Have to wait a week to confirm. This will be my 3rd miscarriage sad.

Best wishes to you and everyone on here, I really hope you recover well and have success in future pregnancies!! flowers

Apparentlychilled Mon 15-Apr-13 13:01:56

Hi all, I've not been around for a while, after having my EP last October (and open surgery to deal w it). This thread was invaluable at the time, though I've not kept up with it, though I noticed that some of the babies have arrived- congratulations! I hope everyone else is well (in the circs). My periods have been regular(ish) since Christmas. Anyhow, we kind of half heartedly started TTC this month. AF came on (I think) 21 March and last week I was woken up about 4am w a really strong pain in my rt side- a bit like a strong period pain when you're about 12 (from memory period pains were really horrid when I was about 12). Anyhow, I was really freaked out and scared and did a test that morning (which came up neg), but it made me realise how anxious I am about getting pg again, and I'm a bit scared of TTC now.
How did everyone else feel about TTC or getting BFP after their EP?

joby21 Fri 19-Apr-13 07:39:31

chilled I was terrified ttc. My ectopic was my first pregnancy so i was worried that i could only produce ectopic pregnancies. I had surgery in dec 2011, started ttc feb 2012 and had my bfp beginning of april 2012. I actually knew with the bfp that things were different this time round and it also made me realise how ill i was with the ectopic. Because i felt so much better i didn't really worry too much about it being ectopic, plus i knew i was due an early scan. I did then spend the rest of the pregnancy worfhing about everything else mind you!

delilah Glad you are on the mend. It is weird how quickly those 6 week appointments come round! Hope it goes ok being back at work. I had keyhole surgery and still had 6 weeks off! But i think that is because i work quite physical 12 hr shifts. I did find goig back to work helped things as i felt like i was just sitting at home dwelling so it was good to get back to some kind of normality. Fingers crossed for a sticky, in the right place bfp for you.

squizita sirry to hear your news. Look after yourself. I know it's probably a bit late now but the pain i had with my ectopic would actually get less when i urinated/defecated!

tiredandiwanttogotobed Wed 24-Apr-13 22:09:11

Hi I'm still lurking,

Joby how's your little one? Tas how many weeks are you now? Any news?

Chilled I didn't feel scared TTC, but I did worry alot about every twinge once I'd had the BFP.

Fingers crossed for everyone else x

joby21 Thu 25-Apr-13 11:32:11

Hi tired, ny little one is not so little! He's now 16 weeks and was 16lbs 1oz at 14 weeks! He is still bf like a pro, which i guess he is now! Just starting to think about nurserys and stuff! How is baby tired? hope all is good xx

tasmaniandevilchaser Fri 26-Apr-13 20:48:47

hi chilled, wrote a long post and then computer crashed! Nice to hear from you and get an update. I was terrified to TTC and especially when I got my BFP. Really terrified. Sometimes I look back and think how did I put myself through that, but sure it will be worth it when the bump arrives. Hope that you get some good luck soon and it is all ok.

hi delilah, good to hear that you are on the mend and hope that work is good for lifting you up and moving on. Take care.

squizita, sorry to hear your news, hope that you can have some tests after 3 in a row and you get some good luck soon.

joby - can't believe he's 16 wks! Time really flies! Lovely to hear it's all going well.

tired, all fine here, 38 weeks, very ready for him to arrive now! A year ago I was really in a mess and although I still think about the EP, when this baby arrives I hope it will all really be behind me. I will never have any more DC! How is your LO?

Apparentlychilled Tue 07-May-13 16:46:35

Thanks tasmanian and I hope baby tas comes soon!

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 23-May-13 22:55:35

Hi all just checking in to say mini tas has arrived, he is gorgeous, worth the long wait and keeping us busy! Hope this gives you hope it can happen

Ninjacat Fri 24-May-13 11:39:32

Hello, just popping in.
Congratulations Tas!
Another post ep babe announcement here.
Ninjakitten arrived in feb by c sec weighing 9lb 13oz.
I hope all these babies do give you hope x

joby21 Fri 24-May-13 12:09:56

Yay! Welcome to the world mini tas and ninjakitten! I have been checking in waiting for the birth announcements!

Hope you are both doing well and managing to get some sleep. Baby joby has just got his first tooth so sleep has been lacking a bit round here!

Enjoy your gorgeous babies x

Jasgirl0189 Sat 25-May-13 14:50:19

Hi , I am new here. I guess this is My story..
I'm 24 yrs old, no living children. I had My first ectopic pregnancy 8 months ago (sept 24th, 2012). I was unaware of My ectopic, as I've never been pregnant and was considering the discomfort & nausea as the early parts of pregnancy. I was 6wks pregnant when I found out I was pregnant and after starting to spot in the beginning of My seventh wk, I went to the ER where I was told I was miscarrying and should go home until the baby "passes". Upon leaving I was scheduled for blood work to be done, after finding my hormone levels were a little low I still was not told I could have an ectopic pregnancy. I became very ill, not being able to work or eat at 8 wks pregnant, which I was then scheduled for a "9wk sonogram" . At My 9wk sono appt I was told my left tube had ruptured due to an ectopic pregnancy (first time hearing it at that point), I had blood behind my kidneys & liver which was becoming toxic to My body. I was rushed into ER surgery to have My left tube, as well as My baby removed. I remember being so confused and hurt, feeling so helpless and hopeless*. After having my tube removed I was told the risk of me having another ectopic was now at a greater risk, 8months later.. I've just been released from the hospital from having my second e topic pregnancy. This was my first time getting pregnant since my last ectopic and it truly broke Me. I was able to detect my pregnancy at 5 wks and have been watched by doctors closely in fear of this being an ectopic. At 7wks I was able to see my baby's heart activity and was told the baby was in my right tube sad . I never felt my heart break until that day. My doctors were hesitant about offering methotrexate to dissolve the pregnancy, but at the time my ectopic was detected I was in "good physical health" as I wasn't showing any early signs of rupturing, I spent a week in the hospital while undergoing 3doses of methotrexate and lucovoren. My hormones rose substantially after the first two doses which made me very nervous but after the 3rd dose the dropped 20%(expected to drop 15%) after being told I could go home but still had to take it easy until my hormones were 0 because I could still rupture I must admit I felt even worse. I don't think people understand the worst feeling in the world is knowing you've done/would do anything to protect this life yet being told YOU CAN'T!! Although I was able to save My life, God knows I would've given that tube plus more just to save my baby! I was having a hard time coping with losing my tube & baby 8monrhs ago, now this is just like salt on the wound! Thanks for the oppurtunity just to ramble a little bit and clear some of this hurt & anger

tiredandiwanttogotobed Wed 12-Jun-13 13:49:59

Jas You poor thing, you've been through hell haven't you? All of us on here truely understand the hurt and emotional pain you're going through when all you want to do is protect the baby growing inside of you. This probably won't help but they had to be removed 'cos it'd caused you harm and without you would never be viable. It will get easier, give it time. Is there anyone you can talk to? Or could you get counselling from your GP. I had counselling (through my work) and it was really therapeutic, it helped sort things out in my head. But so did my "vitual" friends on this page, so use us if it helps. flowers

tiredandiwanttogotobed Wed 12-Jun-13 13:51:22

Tas Congratulations smile, hope you and baby Tas are both well and getting plenty of rest flowers

tasmaniandevilchaser Wed 12-Jun-13 16:31:21

Jas hope you are still around to read these messages, I'm so sorry for your losses. I can feel the raw pain in your post, I welled up reading it sad hope that you are feeling better now though I know it is a rollercoaster of emotions. I had a mmc then an ectopic straight after and it was like being kicked when you're down, I think it was probably similar for you . It takes time to heal physically and emotionally. Be very very kind to yourself. I'd also recommend counselling, it worked like a release for me when everything was building up.

tasmaniandevilchaser Wed 12-Jun-13 16:33:19

Hi tired, we are all ok, getting just enough sleep and adjusting to having this lovely little man in our lives. How are you?

tiredandiwanttogotobed Fri 14-Jun-13 23:41:59

I'm well thanks Tas, baby Tired is gaining weight and developing well smile, all the pain and hurt of the EP and MC's seem a lifetime away now, I hope we can be of some hope to everyone else here.

Is anybody around that is currently/recently going through this? I am 9 days post op. (Right tube removed)

My story...

I got a BFP following a period and have always been negative about this pregnancy although Dr assured me that it appeared to be a viable pregnancy, bloods normal etc.

Well I was 8 weeks on Monday (previously mc at 6 weeks) but Monday evening I had horrendous bladder pain, dizzy, loss of hearing/sight...ended up at out of hours, prescribed anti b's for a 'water infection'. Tuesday I was still in pain, unconvinced...I went to my GP and insisted on a scan. 2.45pm Tues I was scanned...I only came home from hospital last night (Thurs).

Scan showed no pregnancy in uterine...I knew I was 8 weeks so I knew bad news was coming. It was ectopic, partially ruptured and fluid in my pelvis. I was put on the emergency list and rushed into theatre the same night. I had ruptured beyond repair so had to have my right tube removed along with the 'baby'.

I am beyond heartbroken but also so grateful that it wasn't worse, my hcg levels were over 31000 and only a matter of time before my tube ruptured completely.

I am off work for 3 weeks, currently in bed resting and feeling sorry for myself.

I am now convinced that my 6 week mc was also an ectopic in my right tube, as again nothing showed up 'in uterine' on the scan and ectopic was never confirmed or dismissed as I mc naturally. So I must have had a bad tube, if so then I am glad in a way that it has gone - just hope my left one is in good working order.

I would like to add that it has been very reassuring to read this thread (and I have read it from top to bottom!) and the success stories give me that little glimmer of hope.

x

vectradiva Fri 28-Jun-13 20:20:57

hi all im new here,i was rushed in to A&E by ambulance on the 11th of june with excrusiating pains after being violently sick.After hours of agony,blood tests and scans i was rushed into theatre sad i lost my right tube and lost almost 2l of blood so had to have a blood transfusion in the process.ive also had 2 miscarriages one at 16 weeks and one i hardly knew i was pregnant before i miscarried.devastated is not the word! Im only 2 weeks post op and my feelings are all over the place at the moment.We are going to a memorial service on wednesday at the hospital chapel and after we get to tie a ribbon on a memorial tree planted in a beautiful park next to the hospital.Im hopeing this will help me grieve the loss ive had.sorry for everyone elses losses its so sos hard sad

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