Recurrent Buns Graduates - Pregnancy and Beyond(544 Posts)
Thought it was about time we had a new home for all those lovely ladies who used to frequent the original Recurrent Buns thread, or anyone else who has been through the hideous journey of miscarriage, recurrent miscarriage, infertility, testing etc. and now finds themselves either pregnant and in need of hand-holding (or better yet) with their long-awaited bundle(s) of joy.
I know it perhaps seems a little inappropriate to start a thread in the miscarriage topic but it still seems the most relevant spot for those of us who haven't yet completed the journey - and nowhere else really seemed right or fair to everyone.
I do hope you'll come along and say hello. I do miss you all!
<<Hides from Frazzled and waves white flag >> It's not like that every night! He usually goes from 11pm until between 4.30 and 5.30, sometimes 6.30 and very, very occasionally 7.30am.
Go out for dinner. Just don't go to the pub in the next village inland as the food is pretentious and poor apparently. Parents went and were v disappointed.
right, I've finally managed to wrestle the laptop from dp.
<settles in bed> here we go
glittery mucho thanks for starting this. i've missed you all terribly. how is that odd lump doing? not something i've ever heard before. hope your okay. can't believe you are nearly ready to pop!
coconuts I very nearly bought that pram, it's nice to push. a friend has it and has had no probs with it. it's so exciting when all the equipment starts arriving. sorry if you've already said but do you know what your having? <too lazy to check>
lf well done to l for the good sleeping! I completely understand why you send dd1 to the cm. She probably enjoys it anyway. we all need a bit of one on one time with these babies.
julez fgs woman! go and lock yourself in a padded room before you get anything else wrong with you. seriously though, glad you have a diagnosis for pnd, at least you will be getting support? (hope so at least) how's dd2's arm? O is a handsome little devil. I could happily squeeze his lovely little face
frazzled yay to F finally being on the charts! my cousins baby who was born at 33 weeks has not long turned one and E is so much bigger than him, it looks so funny. he is adorable though. have a fab time away, even if you are swamped with baby paraphernalia.
mummy sorry to hear about you and your h. i remember from the old thread there was some issues, hopefully things will work out for the best for you and your dc. Am a bit at the hysterectomy though, can they do that without consent? would it be possible for you to come back here to have the baby?
not much doing here, dc all fine. E is doing well, growing up way to quickly, it's like she was never a baby really she's always seemed really grown up somehow. i'm not due back to work until sept but im dreading it already! Mil was supposed to be having Eliza but we have had soo many probs with her i dont know if thats going to work out. i cant bear the thought of a stranger looking after her and geting to see all the milestones i'm going to miss <emotional> . She's loving food and sleeps like a dream. I cannot believe how incredibly lucky we have been.
on a happier note, we're off to cornwall for a few days on fri so that should be good, hopefully the weather will be nice. And we booked hols for next year, a week in cyprus. Can't bloody wait. Only downside is the older dc are not coming they're
supposed to be going away with their dad.
I'm off to make a cuppa and give my poor fingers a rest.
ffs julez i obviously meant ds2 not dd2.
there prob a million other mistakes in there but i was too excited to preview!
Just want to add myself to the excited to be on the thread list feeling a bit gutted that I dont have nearly as much MN time as I used to though, so you are all hard to keep up with already!
So, in a rather lazy way and in no particular order...
I am very of new prams - I want a sit and stand one, like this , but am not quite ready to pay loads of £££ for shipping from the US. (they dont make them here)
and even MORE of the 6.30 wakings! Wow, keep giving me hope please!
I have considered going back to the UK but it really isnt a good option. Just the flights for me and DS is the same price as a cesarian or natural birth in a private hospital here, and in the UK I could well be charged for using the NHS as I am not a full time UK resident anymore. Also H can legally stop me from taking DS out of the country any time he feels like it, which could prove tricky if he decides to be difficult and the biggest reason of all is that I dont want to leave my nice comfy home - its all set up and ready for a baby. When I had DS in the UK I was camped out in my mums house and it really was hard taking care of a new born when you dont have your own creature comforts.
re: hysterectomy, the doctor I saw last week kept saying that I would have to sign a consent form for it, if I were treated by him, and his general attitude made me feel that he would be very inclined to do it, and not view it as a last resort at all. I really dont think I will be going back to him in a hurry, its just a case of ploughing through the list of doctors and going to more appointments until I find a good one. After all the testing/ashermans stuff at least I have learnt that its better to cut your losses early with bad doctors and I am not afraid of questioning things, withdrawing consent and looking for help elsewhere. (I bet all of use on this thread are like that now!)
Julez sorry to hear about PND, I missed that on my first read. You have all my sympathy, I had it with DS1 and went on anti depressants (couldnt breastfeed after a month anyway because of PPH and hospitalisation) and they really really helped. I am on the again now (can you tell? ) Hope you are getting all the help you need xxx
and for whoever asked, I am due on Guy Fawkes Night.
right I will leave it there for tonight as I have already forgotten everything else that has been said and am too knackered to scroll back again (sorry ) but it is so so so lovely to read all about the healthy bouncing babies and how well they are doing. what a long way we have all come!
AAAAAGGHHH have just spent the past hour writing you all a lovely long message only for MN to eat it! Must remember to copy and paste into Word first. Still nice to have you all back though! Will come back this evening and re-type!
Right, let's try again! First of all, a general WOOHOO that you're all here. I'm so glad you're all keen to have a new MN home, however random it may become over the passage of time! I certainly wasn't going to post my pg woes on the old thread, but still felt the need for a spot of hand-holding, plus the fact that I was missing you all unbearably!!! Thanks to all of you for coming!
I decided to opt for an early night last night and it looks like I missed a party, so will try and do another catch up.
Lunatic Glad to hear the poo strike is no more and you didn't have to deal with the outcome. I'm impressed that it all remained in the nappy rather than an up the back nightmare. Hope he's feeling better now. Very well done on relinquishing the pg books. Think you have to just do these things before your brain has a chance to catch up and convince you otherwise, but I can imagine how hard it must be. Tbh, I would have struggled to believe a BFP announcement from you at this point, even if it were true! Still, shows how strong the maternal instinct is that we can go through all that and even entertain the prospect of it again. We are all quite mad, though!
Coconuts What news of the GTT? Hope all is well. I feel quite left out as I was never offered one. Mind you, not really a fan of lucozade, or waiting around, so it's probably a good thing. I'm measuring 2 weeks too big - which technically means I'm now 40 weeks, but mw didn't seem remotely concerned about GD.
The pram looks lovely. I'm sticking with my trusty Silvercross 3D. The clasps are a bit worn - they were never all that sturdy tbh - but I'm sure it will do for another little one and you need to remortgage the house to buy buggies these days. I am looking forward to using it as a pram for the first few weeks as DS was too long to fit in it unless it was in its pushchair state by the time I bought it.
mumatron Nice to 'see' you again. I only caught the last 20 mins or so of 'Marley & Me' and was utterly beside myself. Not the thing to watch in such a pregnant state - or indeed any other state as far as I'm concerned. Thought I was in for a spot of gentle comedy with Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston, but I was howling! (frazzled it's definitely NOT for you if Toy Story 2 is too much! Ha ha.) Lovely to hear you say that you can't believe how lucky you've been with E. I think you deserve to have some luck after all the ups and downs. It seems bizarre to think all these babies are being weaned already/ growing up so fast. In some ways, I feel like this pregnancy has lasted an eternity, but then I think about all your little people and how much has changed when it only seems like yesterday that you were all announcing their arrivals. Have a great time in Cornwall.
Julez I'm really not surprised you're done after all you have been through over the past few years. Neither am I remotely surprised that you've struggled with PND. Hope you're coping okay? At least it's been diagnosed, but I realise that doesn't make it any easier to cope with. Add to that the rib problems and the protein allergy and it sounds as though you're still paying your dues to the Gods of conception, pregnancy and birth even now. Hopefully, coming back here and having a good rant about it all will help some.
frazzled I know I'm supposed to be done with weird ailments, but Julez is still winning!!!! Anyway, there's no fun in being normal is there?
I'm not quite as distraught about the stretchmarks this time around. Just a bit gutted because I come from a family with good skin (my sister and Mum never got any stretchmarks despite having 7 kids between them) and it feels a bit unjust this late in the day. Having said that, I've put the research in and can say, categorically, that Bio Oil is about as much use as a chocolate fireguard if you stretch this much. I am MASSIVE! Think it's going to be fun to try and lose the weight, so I'm really hoping there's a lot of fluid in there. I do think the anterior placenta may have helped to overstretch me at the front. The skin around my belly button is virtually translucent. Sexy!
Btw, I was nostalgic about ditching the breast pump the first time around, so there really is no hope for me on the broody stakes. I am terrified of ever feeling the urge to do this again. I truly am!
I hope you have a lovely break.
Hello MummyA! Lovely to hear from you. Not so lovely to hear about your terrifying birth prospects over there. It sounds like the only way forward is to go private, but possibly not with a scary doctor who wants to gut you like a fish! Surely the fact that you are 23 weeks along would suggest that your womb is doing its job quite nicely? I realise that your pre-existing condition definitely needs to be taken into account at the birth, but what exactly are you supposed to be at such high risk of that warrants a total removal of all your lady areas?
Really hope you find the right doctor. You've been through enough. I have to reiterate what Lunatic said. You really are the most capable and brave lady. Makes my concerns seem like those of a five-year-old in comparison!
I have shown my weird lump thing to my sister (after googling even though I know far better ) and she agrees that it's fluid/ oedema. She's advised me to be on the lookout if it gets really hot or itchy as, apparently, it could turn into cellulitis if I'm not careful. Bloody hell! Really don't like the sound of that. Come out NOW baby! I hope it goes away after the birth.
I also have a mw appt tomorrow morning, so I'm going to question her about what to do if the baby arrives before my appt with the consultant mw. Part of me is really reluctant to drive over for an appt that I suspect will frustrate me. I'm guessing they are probably going to tell me that I can't deliver where I want to, which is fine. I just don't want to drive all the way there to be disappointed by a piece of news that they could just give me over the phone. They don't need to see me to know I had a retained placenta last time around. I'm also getting increasingly reluctant to drive. Having a lot of twinges that make me recoil a bit and am not altogether sure how safe I feel behind the wheel. Besides which, I can barely fit behind it anyway!
DH is away tonight, so I'm planning an evening of rubbish telly and relaxation. He works 3.5 hours away for 3 days a week and, whilst I doubt I am likely to have a speedy labour, I can't help but be a little concerned that he's quite far away should I need him quickly.
Right, enough rambling. I'm going to get this sent before MN eats it again. Sorry if I've repeated myself anywhere! Copy and paste first woman!!!
soo glad you decided to do this ladies
sorry its taken so long for me to write computor keeps dying think its the heat
how are you all doing glittery bet you so excited now ) its gone so fast you pregnancy
went to doctors today for weight blood pressure and heartbeat got told off as iv put on 4 kilos ! got told off last month coz i lost half a kilo i just cant get it right lol she said im not alollowed ot eat rice bread or choclate anymore ok stuff the rice and bread but choclate how can u bann a pregnant woman from eating choclate its just neverr everr gonna happen well not to me anyways haha!
the heat here is killing me iv been indoors or in the pool permantly 45 degrees and going up im not happy heatburn is terriblee so went and got some gaviscon thanks to coconuts ) did the trick ...so you got your buggy hun bet you was having a good old wizz around hehe! :DD
hope your all ok ladies xxxxxxx
frazzled you sound positively manic over there preparing everything!
mumatron am pleased the puschair is good and easy to push. We had a little whizz abut but I expect it pushes different outside to how it did on our carpet Have a lovely time in Cornwall. E sounds as easy as DD was, so I'm fully expecting a terrible time of it this time!
glittery We used to have the silvercross 3D in the pistachio but sold it once DD outgrew it and went into a cheap umbrella style buggy. I have to say I hated it but only because it was quite heavy and not very practical for our first floor flat.
And cellulitis? Crikey. Lets hope it goes away before it gets any worse.
GTT was all clear YAY!!! Although am badly anemic. Need to have more bloods taken by end of week to detect any other deficiencies to ensure any iron supplements are absorbed correctly so should be on iron by end of week, beginning of next at the latest.
Am getting so big and uncomfortable now. But got some new birkenstocks today so my pregnant feet look lovely and comfy
Big waves to everyone else.
Hey justmee really pleased you found us. For what it's worth, I have piled on the exact same amount of weight I did with DS - despite my promises to be good - but I'm carrying less fluid round my ankles/ fingers this time, so I'll probably have even more to lose afterwards! I don't know how you can stand being pg and in that heat. Thank goodness for the pool! Oh, and my pg has dragged like you wouldn't believe as far as I'm concerned! How many weeks are you now?
Coconuts You're right. It is heavy - yet not as sturdy as I first hoped - but I am reasonably tall so I've always found it fairly user friendly in that regard. We chose it because, at the time we bought it, we only had a Corsa and it was one of the few slightly more robust prams that did everything and still fit in the boot. We never got around to selling it, partly because my umbrella style buggy doesn't have a raincover and I LOVE the raincover on the 3D, but also because we were planning no. 2 when DS was 6 months old, so it's just hung around the house expectantly! I do like it as a pram though. Babies look so cute in there. If we'd had our babies closer together, I would have forked out for a Phil & Ted's which is my most favourite buggy ever, but I can't really justify it now.
Yey for the clear GTT. Not so yey for the anaemia. I also have anaemia, but chose to eat excessive amounts of meat and swig Floradex rather than cope with constipation. I loathe iron tablets. Make sure you eat lots of veg and fruit to keep regular!
Suppose I ought to go and finish packing my hospital bag. Never got around to packing toiletries because we've had so may social events planned over the past few weekends and I've needed everything out! Have now told DH I am not going anywhere that I don't want to as car journeys are becoming very uncomfortable, so I suppose I ought to accept the fact that labour will happen sooner rather than later. Should probably also pack a bag for DS so he is ready to be shipped out to the grandparents. It all seems so far off and surreal one minute and imminent the next. Next job is the crib. Can't quite bring myself to assemble it just yet. Might wait until I come home before doing that bit and, even then, I'll probably still be telling myself that I'm doing it for someone else.
<<Flops onto sofa>>
Well that'll learn me. L loves me so much that he couldn't bear to be parted from me this evening. Hope he is full to the brim now. And then I have been coaching DH through the tax credits process. I usually do it but decided I feel unappreciated. His brain is creaking. Tee hee.
Proper catch up tomorrow
I am just exhausted today. My eyes are closing as I type. I'm not keeping on top of the house or the pets. My fish need cleaning desperately and have made the rash decision of carting off the guinea pigs to SILs so I can pull the house round.
Have been out at my best friends new house today (she only moved in a week ago) and it was quite a walk from the bus stop and had to walk it with a massive stitch in my side the whole time.
I'm really fed up. I feel like I'm about ready to drop. I said to DH last night that it would be great if I could just unzip my bump for an hour so I get stretch properly and be comfy for a while and then put it back on later!
I feel so bleurgh. I spent so much time wishing and praying to be pregnant. Now I hate it.
Need to stop moaning I suppose. Someone gimme a kick please but make it a gentle one!!
LF I hate tax credit forms. They were designed by the devil. Too many numbers for my pea brain to cope with!
glittery Funny that, I hated the raincover. Strange how some things suit some but not others. If money was no object I'd have the iCandy Strawberry. However, we seem to have spent so much these last couple of months and really have nothing to show for it. So it was between the Cosatto Cabi and the Hauck Apollo. The four year guarantee swung it for me
Bag wise, could you just buy some travel size toiletries for your bag so you still have your regular ones at home and the bag can be totally finished without needing to throw things in at the last minute. I'd never even thought about packing for DD. That's another list to make! Yawn! I have to somehow come up with a plan of hgoe I even can get to hospital should I go into labour. Neither DH nor I drive so need to speak to my mum and SIL/BIL to arrange lifts and care for DD. MIL is as useful as a chocolate teapot so choices are narrowed somewhat.
<waves to everyone else, I'm off to get some matchsticks for my eyes>
Lunatic Thank God you reminded me about the sodding tax credits. Totally forgot about that - although the form will be irrelevant as soon as I renew it considering there'll be (hopefully) another baby straight afterwards. at L loving you so much. Of course he does. How lovely.
Coconuts Not wishing in any way to sound pleased about your discomfort... just a bit grateful that we're allowed to moan a bit too - despite it being all we've ever wanted! It's one of the reasons why this thread needs to be separate to the recurrent mc thread. I feel totally blessed in every way that I'm pregnant and not a day goes by that I don't feel ridiculously grateful, but it's still hard work and bloody annoying at times. If it's any consolation, I felt worse at your stage than I do now and that compounded the discomfort because I knew I had so many weeks to go. It seems to get more bearable the nearer you get. Obviously you become more mental on the way , but I'm definitely feeling a little better physically than I was two weeks ago, when I felt like spending every waking moment lying on the sofa and moping.
Oh, I have loads of toiletries. I just wanted to pack things I don't have duplicates of like my toothbrush, hairdryer and straighteners - after the Diana Ross look when I emerged from the pool last time, I can't help but be a bit vain and want nicer post birth photo's if possible! I still haven't got around to packing everything. It's too final somehow.
I'm a misery today because my normally ridiculously supportive sister has apparently been telling my Mum that it seems I can't be pregnant without everyone around me being pregnant too and I feel really sad about that and a bit irked that my Mum saw fit to tell me in my hormonal state! Helpful. It was probably one of those off the cuff comments that mean nothing but, now I'm really upset that I've just been a hideous burden to everyone for the past 8 months - and the rest. I thought I was handling it quite well. I'm still working part-time and doing my best to keep going, but I am the first to admit that I don't 'do' pregnancy very well. I get very big very quickly and my body doesn't deal with the aches, pains and leg cramps without a fair bit of grumbling on my part. On top of that, I get little to no sleep and am permanently dizzy because my BP is stupidly low. My lucky sister never had any of that to contend with, so I suppose I probably do come across as a whingebag to her. I also feel a bit justified (childish part) because I've had 2 and a half years of hell up to this point. I still don't have my baby and a lot of my moaning is down to fear, pure and simple.
Also grumpy and irrational today because my midwife refused to try and rearrange my appt with the consultant midwife to an earlier date (so I don't risk having the baby before I see her) meaning that I have no choice but to go to the labour ward rather than the birth centre because I can't get a referral. They've had weeks of me harping on about wanting a birth centre birth for psychological reasons and they could have organised it well in advance. I have NOTHING on my notes in the way of any kind of birth plan and I've gone from not wanting to push my feelings on the subject too early on in the pregnancy to realising that I might well not see my midwife again now before a baby pops out. Moan, moan, moan. Perhaps my Mum had a point about me being a whining nightmare after all!
I asked my lovely DH if I was being OTT and he pointed out that my labour completely stopped the last time around when they threatened to take me to the labour ward, so there's obviously something in this psychology. Is it wrong of me to have expected a bit more support? I'm sure they were much better last time around and, to be honest, it's been a lot more stressful and frightening this time. Anyway, I'm going to phone them tomorrow and see if I can sweet talk them in to at least letting me have a birth centre delivery at the hospital further afield. When I say further afield, I'm still very lucky that it's actually still quite close, but the problem is that I literally don't know where I'm supposed to go if I go into labour now! Could always play dumb and just turn up where I want, I suppose. Seriously tempted to just crawl into my own bath and hope for the best!
Anyway, rant over. Sorry! Measuring 40 weeks and it looks as though the head is trying to engage. Still in massive denial! Ha!
I'm a little less loved this evening so let's catch up...
Frazzled has F been talking to L? After refusing to settle or stop feeding yesterday evening, he was awake half the night, starting at 2.40am. Joy. Hope that the cake baking frenzy is going well and you're packed and looking forward to hols. I really am
Mumatron DH's cousin was another one who wailed through Marley & Me. She did it 7 months pg in the cinema though so was far more . E does look grown up - dd1 was like that too. And she's stayed that way too - not much in the way of problems with her ever Enjoy your holiday - hope you get everything in the car . Step away from the Manolos......
Oh and I presume your XP hasn't brushed up his act in the last few months then
MummyA those all sound like pretty good reasons to stay put, particularly if you are comfy and have everything sorted as well as it sounds. I do feel grim for you though to have to trot round doctors until you click with one. I hope that the ADs do their job and keep you on an even keel.
Glittery after all we've been through I never thought there was anything that could actually persuade me you were a bona fide loon. Until you mentioned being nostalgic about breast pumps. They are the work of the devil IMHO and I'm going to ceremonially burn the old broken one.
I am feeling v for you at all the nonsense surrounding you atm. Can you not ring the hospital direct to rearrange your appt? I usually just ring and talk to outpatient appts who'll usually tell you who you should be talking to and if you can bear 45 minutes of being transferred around random depts you often find yourself making progress. I had to do that to get my appt for the procedures for the colitis. I manged to get an appt for the following week when I'd heard nothing from them in months. It does seem unfortunately that 'second' pgs are pretty much ignored by the HCPs if your first went OK. Once I'd got past the first scan with Daisy that was pretty much it - left to gestate quietly. I suspect the madness that was the last few months (or indeed the whole eight months for Julez) of the recurrents' pgs has probably skewed things for the more normal of you
Try not to worry about what your sister's said. It probably was a jokey comment that's coming across wrong. And anyway, what's wrong with needing a bit of support from your family? Half the flaming village went through my pg with me. I got a card from toddler group it was so public. Not to mention you lovely lot and all my poor family and friends. Apart from bloody FIL of course. But I'm not starting on that again. <<Winds neck in>>
JustMee don't blame you for lounging in the pool. I can't think of a better place to spend pg And chocolate is compulsory.
Coconuts good news on the GTT but boo on the anaemia. B12, Ferrous Sulphate and prune juice for you. The anaemia is going to make you feel rough so give yourself a break. I said to DH last night that I'd like to pause the world, sleep until I can sleep no more, get outstanding drunk, sleep it all off and then press play again. Remember we were all wishing for a baby - we could (mostly) get pg - but the end product is the name of the game. Eyes on the prize and all that. That goes for you too Glittery with your BP. If you can't moan here.......
Just for the pram porn value - this is what we have. But with a grey carrycot rather than red. We got the pushchair for dd1, managed to flukily pick up the carrycot second hand at a great price and it's still all going strong.
Poo Strike Two is officially in progress - apart from Saturday's small effort there's been nothing since So this was day 5. I might start introducing some baby rice v soon to give him somethint to work with but am a bit scared because of the reflux. I'm not good with proper sick or gagging noises so part of me is trying to avoid solids altogether
Right, will finish up and attempt to get in a quick shower before watching the Apprentice on timeslip. Tomorrow is the toddler group AGM so they're voting on the new committee. I'm going to be secretary. We managed to get the baby clinic up and running in April so I have a vested interest in keeping the group going.
Big wave to Justme you sound really upbeat, its great to hear you sounding so positive I do sympathise with the heat though, its rainy season here so I am getting lots of respite, but with DS last time I had to go to bed with wet hair a lot and even tried a tip I got off the internet - soak your pyjamas in water, ring them out and wear them to bed wet, helps you get to sleep really fast and you wake up all dry in the morning! ... and please ignore that silly doctors chocolate advice, chocolate is important for your psycological well being!
Glittery Luntic is right, this is definitely the place for moaning, go ahead and let it all out - you are entitled. I didnt realise just how quite far gone you are, those last few days at the end really are rough, moaning is not at all loony, just perfectly normal for your stage. I sympathise too with the birth centre dilema, its hard to relax and wait for labour if you dont feel things have been organised properly. If I were you, I would be tempted to just turn up where you want to go, or at least ring them when you go into labour to warn them, then show up.
coconuts here have this lovely soft pillow and get your head down for a few mintues! You need some rest and some treats (if ever there was a case for chocolate...) not a kick!
lunatic oh no, not another poo strike. DS suffered occasionally at that age and we had to give him glycerine suppositories - unfortunatley I am really squeamish about bottom inserting (fine with sick though ) so I found it really traumatising trying to put it in. Works a treat though.
...and at "pram porn". I am thinking about pimping my bugaboo now, anyone tried/planning to try toddler boards?
I havent got any further with doctors here, (though i do have an appt booked with one in August) I ran out of energy today after getting a tetanus jab. Its compulsory over here after 20 weeks but IIRC they dont do it at all in the UK (?) always makes me feel a bit nervous when the system is entirely different but its done now. In other news my mum has been posting over some of DS's baby clothes that I'd left in the UK, and its making me feel all mushy and excited [broody hormones emoticon]
big kiss and a hug for everyone I didnt name check - there is so much to catch up on! xxxxx
hi, just a quick note everyone to say hello. I've been lurking and reading what you all are up to. I've been thinking about all of you over the last few months and glad that you have a place to hang out.
I hope that I can be on your thread one day too. We did TTC this month. I'm holding off on testing until Sunday/Monday, but I'd be very surprised if I came back with BFN. My boobs are enormous right now, I can even see some Montgomery's tuberoses on them. The only question is, how long will the pg last. I want to believe that this time it will be different, but belief and outcome are 2 very different things....
OK, got to run, I'm in the US for work and I've got a meeting in 5 mins.
LAF Lovely to hear from you. I felt like a traitor creating a new thread, but it seemed like the best way to be sensitive to everyone's individual battle. I saw you'd posted when I logged on and had all my fingers and toes tightly crossed for you, but I know a potential BFP means nothing more than worry at this stage. Still, thanks for dropping by and I very much hope you'll be hanging out here soon too. There can't be many women more deserving.
MummyA Thanks for making me feels like less of a neurotic nightmare. I actually feel much better at this point than I did earlier on in the pregnancy, although I am having some freakish cervical pains which feel much as I imagine a red hot poker inserted into your fanjo might feel! Makes walking quite interesting and I'll bet it's a scream for other people to watch me waddle along, wincing all the while! Hopefully this means effacement and dilation, though I'm not holding my breath.
Not surprised you're a bit about the tetanus. Is that like a bizarre precaution, like antibiotics in case you get an infection? I don't suppose it can do the baby any harm, but I can well appreciate you feeling unsettled that the system is so different over there than to here. I really hope your knight in shining armour of a doctor appears sooner rather than later.
Lunatic Was beside myself laughing at 'pram porn'. Love it. My DH still chuckles at the term 'fanjo'.
I assure you I'm not even more mad because of the pump thing. I just had a hell of a time breastfeeding and was made to feel profoundly guilty - and something of a failure - because my DS had a tongue tie. The retained placenta meant my milk didn't come in for over a week and, if it weren't for the joy of my amazing pump (I forked out for a hospital grade electric one), my little man wouldn't have got my milk at all. So, I have a certain amount of fondness for them - just not the bog standard manual jobs which are most definitely the work of the devil!
Thanks for your advice and calming words re my family comments. I'm less hormonal today, because the intense red mist has now lifted. I really have had some very psycho moments along the way with this pregnancy. Experiencing major irrational anger issues some days.
Have actually had a really good day. I phoned the hospital and said I was worried about the lateness of my appt, but also felt it was a waste of their time for me to come and see them, when I could express my concerns over the phone in ten seconds. I suspect the fact that I wanted to save their time gave me an edge, because they gave me the mobile numbers of both the consultant midwives and enabled me to fight my corner directly. Lovely, lovely head midwife lady has told me she'll happily update my notes to let me go wherever I want, provided I'm prepared and accepting of an ambulance transfer should it all go pear-shaped. I could have kissed her.
This was obviously bothering me more than I thought, because the relief is huge. I can now go to the hospital which only has a birth centre or I have the option to go to the one with all the maternity services if it would make me feel more secure. Now I just have to hope I won't need to be induced and pray that there is a pool free when I go into labour. Still, it's fantastic to have a plan in place, finally.
glittery I do feel a bit bad moaning about being pregnant but pregnancy does not agree with me one iota. It is an amazing natural thing to do etc etc but it makes me feel shit! Glad that you turned a corner, and you give me hope that soon I may too feel better.
The fanjo stabbing pains you describe, I am also now getting. I don't understand how I can get any bigger than I am. My skin is so stretched right now that it is kind of numb.
Glad I'm not the only one planni g on taking the hairdryer and GHDs
Yay for being able to go where you want. Must be such a relief, as you said, more than you realised, to finally have a plan in place.
lunatic Oh how I'd love to get blindingly drunk once again!
Does B12 help with iron absorption? (sp?) They said they want to test for other deficiencies as I had HG so I guess I'll be on a concoction. Might invest in some Spatone to help get things improving in the meantime.
Boo for poo strike 2. DD was a bugger for constipation when she was small. She ended up on lactulose as the usual water/juice methods never worked. It worked a treat
muumy aww at the baby clothes. I am getting quite a collection also but can't quite comprehend that I will ever use them It must be weird having things done so differently over there but I suppose you have to just go with it sometimes. Apart from when someone offers you a hysterectomy oviously
LAF Lovely to hear from you I wish you every luck this month, but as Glittery said, I can imagine that it is only fear and anticipation in your mind. I believe you will get there some day and you truly deserve it. Enjoy the US and hope to see you around here soon
Not much to report my end today apart from my B key has broken so I have to stop typing at my normal speed every time I come to a word with a B in to really give it a wallop so I apologise if there are any misspelt words in this!
Baby seems to be growing by the minute, braxton hicks aplenty, fanjo stabby pains, sciatica too. Oh how I'm glowing Three people have asked me today if I'm smuggling twins in there and told me I look 'ready to drop' Lovely turn of phrase!
My blood forms have not arrived yet so can't book my blood tests in until they come. MW told me to call GP on Friday to see if she wants me to have iron but then I'll have to wait until Weds for the prescription. Might call this evening to try and bypass the weekend... hello sickness and constipation from the FF talets.
Glittery Yay! thats great news. well done for fighting your corner, it looks like its paid off. I dont want to be overly influencing because these decisions are so difficult and personal, but FYI I went to a midwife led unit to have DS (in the UK) and it was one that was attached to a labour ward. It was late at night and they were understaffed so there were NO midwives available, just labour ward nurses and doctors, whose philosophies were very different obviously. I had to fight every inch of the way to keep things "natural" and did end up strapped to a monitor and labouring on my back which is not what I wanted. IMO you only get the midwife type birth if a midwife is present, despite it being a birth centre. So if you go into labour at night, keep that in mind or better still before going, ring and ask who is on shift!
LAF hello! I too want to see you on here very soon! do drop in and keep us informed of how you are doing though. I cant manage to spread myself around as many threads as I used to. Please say hello to everyone over there from me too. xxx
coconuts now I am feeling the pressure to put a hair straightners in my hospital bag too... and thanks to whoever mentioned bag for DS - i had forgotton all about that!
I had planned to go and get a detailed scan today specifically to look for placenta accreta, but the place that does it doesnt take appointments, they just see people on tues/thurs afternoons from 2-5, unfortunately yet again it is chucking it down with proper rainy season type storm making me just want to hole up at home... [lazy emoticon] I have definitely lost my earlier enthusiasm for doctors appointments, scans etc.
erm. anyone want to do a list? could be like this...
MummyAbroad 23w+6d EDD 4/11/2011
-with long awaited babies-
StillFrazzled - baby F ?w?d born ?/?/?
MummyA How lovely to have your ds's baby clothes again - there's something nice about them being used for another child
Oh and we have a buggy board. dd1 loves it and it's working brilliantly as a bribe. "You can have a ride to playschool on the buggy board" if you get ready NOW!"
Would be up for a list but am being a bit fuzzy today.
LAF ooh I'll be keeping my fx for you for a truly sticky BFP. Would be lovely to have you over here. Take very good care
Glittery I think I had those pains with dd1. I became convinced that a finger was being poked out Sorry if the pump hatred came out a bit OTT. Am quite that you had a decent one! Bfing is a struggle for me too. There are points when I produce more tears than milk and it takes about 6 weeks for me to be able to EBF. Expressing just reduces me to a wreck though. I just can't do it. When I was in hospital all these women were putting massive quantities in the fridge for feeds and I'd have a dribble in the bottom of the smallest container
Anyway on a more positive note, it's great that you managed to make such excellent progress on the hospital choices. I loved dd1's waterbirth so fx that you can have one. Did you have one with ds?
Coconuts yes I think B12 is important in iron absorption. Spatone and OJ plus cut down on milk, tea and coffee.
Right, stuff from here. Poo Strike Update We don't think L is constipated at all. His tummy is soft and he doesn't even seem to be trying to go. What came out on Saturday was like treacle rather than hard. I think he's just using ALL of the milk and needs some food now to give his guts something to work with. I did try a bit of OJ on day three of the first strike and it had no effect.
The other thing is that Julez needs to budge up on the PND sofa to make room for me. I have finally had to admit that it's happening. The anxiety is stopping me sleeping. I went to bed at 8.30pm last night and finally got to sleep at 1.30am. L awake at 5am and didn't want to go back to sleep. The not sleeping has been getting worse and worse and I had a heart to heart with DH last night. He's finding it tricky to cope with me as I retreat from things. So that was one of the final straws really - something has to be done. Saw the GP and have papers for ADs. Won't change some of the things I worry about but maybe I'll be able to keep control of the anxiety. The colitis diagnosis hasn't helped either. Am fed up with being a medical thing. I've been trying so hard to be normal
Hi Lunatic, you have loads of sympathy from me about feeling like a medical thing and wanting to be normal. I have had it up to my back teeth with problems, and know exactly how you feel. I am very glad you are getting help from the GP and talking to DH, the very worst thing you can do is ignore it. I hope the AD's work as well for you as they are doing for me. Will you still be able to/want to breastfeed? I am hearing mixed things. I thought that on cytolopram (sp?) you can, but Doctor Hysterectomy said no, so until I find another doctor who OK's it I will be coming off fluoxitine before the birth (you cant bf on fluoxitine) but if I can I would like to switch to something that I can stay on post natally as I am dead scared of getting PND.
I fully sympathise with the breastfeeding trauma too, I had much the same problems and didnt make it past week 4 with DS. I am hoping I will do better next time.
good info re: buggy board. I am sort of swinging against it now thinking that a C-section would mean no pram pushing for 6 weeks anyway (is that right?) Can you still walk properly with the board on? I have a buggaboo cameleon but the buggy board for it has really bad reviews because it sticks out so much, I am thinking of getting a non bugaboo one (more rectangle shaped, than triangle) if any at all.
Nesting is in full swing over here, I now have cot mattress, bedding, clothes, and even a packet of wipes.
im now 29+ 5 ....and i feel as tho i have been pregnant forever. altho i have wanted this for such a long time so not going to moan ... i just hate this heat i feel as tho i have zero energy how long do you have now
you know what last night after having 2 showers i thought hmm i wonder if i soaked my clothes and wet my hair but i hadnt read you message and i got up and soaked my nighty in freezing water result i got about 4 hour sleep before i was woke up after needing a wee ... then i come on today and see your message so im deffo doing it tonight again )
doctors called again for me to go today but i didnt go they want to take more blod from me i dont even know why they keep taking my blood every month to look at suger and iron ect i hate needles ((
hope all are ok :D xxxx
Coconuts If I had a pound for every inappropriate or just downright rude comment I've had about the size of my bump/ body in general throughout this pregnancy, I'd be a rich woman. It feels a little less soul destroying now I'm so close to my EDD, but I remember feeling utterly miserable about it earlier on in the pregnancy. I'd reslished the prospect of having a bump and people were so mean with twin/ triplet comments or just general exclamations of 'Christ!' or 'Look at the bloody size of you' that I started to feel horribly self-conscious and wanted to cover it up.
I tried for ages not to be so sensitive, but it does get a bit wearing on the old self-esteem having people point out how fat you are all the time and haywire hormones can make it all the more difficult if you're close to tears anyway. The most irritating thing of all is that most of the comments came from people who were fatter than me and weren't pregnant. Perfect strangers have no qualms about saying this stuff - I remember your supermarket experience! - and it really isn't helpful. I know you feel wretched right now, but I tried to make a conscious effort to breathe out and let it all hang out. I tend to live in leggings these days - can't bear anything too tight around the bump - and it makes me look even more ridiculous because I look like one of those skinny-legged men with massive beer bellies. But, I keep telling myself I am pregnant. I have worked incredibly bloody hard to get pregnant - and I will go back to a normal size soon. If I weren't so polite, I would have used the phrase, "I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?" on more than one occasion. Also been tempted by blurting out something along the lines of, "I'm fat, but you're ugly. At least I can lose weight!" Miaaaoooowwww! Hang in there.
MummyA Thanks for that. I might just hang on a bit longer and go to the hospital that only has the birth centre in the way of maternity services! That means they can't intervene at all unless they're willing to put me in an ambulance. It's where I had DS anyway and I had a lovely waterbirth. Aside from the retained placenta, it was a really positive experience. I'm really hoping that I can repeat this feeling, as I doubt I'll be doing it again anytime soon.
With the whole BF thing, I managed to combine breastmilk and formula for about 3 months before my milk dried up. Best £65 I ever spent on ebay that pump. I've loaned it to all my friends who were having issues and feel really happy that we've all got use out of it. I think I will feel generally better about the whole thing this time around whatever happens, because I will know what to expect and won't allow them to make me feel as guilty as I did. It's hard to know how to feel though. I know that breast is best, but I also know that my DS was never full - even when feeding was going well and I also know that formula doesn't stop them growing up nice and chunky.
Lunatic You didn't come across at OTT at all. I suspect it was the other way around. I've always been a bit defensive and guarded about anything related to bfing, because I always assumed it would come really naturally to me and was completely gutted when it didn't. As a second timer, my feelings about it back then seem a little unnecessarily overboard now, so I can only imagine that I was in my most emotionally fragile state - utterly exhausted and couldn't deal with the constant stream of random midwives putting me down and making me feel dreadful about depriving my boy in some way. You really don't need that so-called 'help' at such a vulnerable time. I still wonder if we'd have got there in the end if they all just buggered off and left us to it, but am convinced that placental issues and the fact that I got next to no time alone with him for days (endless visitors and difficult MIL) coupled with the scary midwife lady who forcefed him formula on day 3 (milk still hadn't come in) made me a bit angry! I won't be frightened to tell them to bugger off this time.
Oh just and that, on top of everything else you and Julez have to suffer PND. Surely we should be done with all this nonsense once the baby arrives? Massive well done for both recognising it and acting on it though. From my own experience, I tend to hide my head in the sand because I'm too proud to admit when I'm depressed either to myself or others. It always backfires and I nearly always end up a soggy mess in front of a doctor eventually!
So, on the off chance, can we invest in a rather large and comfy PND couch for the thread? I promise to bring biscuits if the shit hits the fan when the denial gives way to the miracle baby that I might have in a couple of weeks. Despite the massive bump and on-tap insults for anyone who cares to point it out, I still don't quite believe it and suspect I may be in the running when it hits home. Always the optimist!
In the meantime, back to the fanjo pain. It seems to be much like pre-labour felt with DS. I'd be fine when I woke up in the morning and then everything would be fine until about teatime, when the waves of pain would start. It's not quite as bad as it was then - as these are less contractions, more stabbing pains in the cervix combined with a really horrid weighty, pre-menstrual, cramping sensation in my womb. It isn't completely stopping me from sleeping yet, but the combination of the two feelings tends to result in a sharp intake of breath and the need to get on all fours. Not altogether practical in Sainsbury's! I'm hoping it means things are gearing up to a nice seamless, textbook, 3 hour painfree waterbirth... <<skips off in the lovely dreamy land of Narnia...>>
Hope everyone else is okay. xx
reporting in from a very rainy part of the country. It was boiling here yesterday and we made plans for a shopping trip and a picnic today. No such luck in that department now. So... am still in my PJs sipping OJ while DH plays with DD. Good times
mummy I'd definitely be up for a little list, if everyone else is
lunatic Moving onto solids is such a milestone. Hello babyrice.
Well done for recognising the PND I imigine it was a hard step to take. I'm very much like glittery and tend to bury my head in the sand and ignore any problems. Depression is rife in my family so I think I am a little predisposed to PND. It is flagged up on my notes but I doubt if there was a problem that I would admit it. Hope the ADs can help you very soon
Oh and can I take the Spatone at the same time as my Ferrous Fumerate? Is it possible to OD on iron?!
justmee checking your sugar and iron is important my lovey, you should make sure you go for your tests. Will email you soon
glittery Have a mental image of a skinny legged beer belly man I tend to be more angry at people thinking it is ok to just start up random conversations with me as opposed to being upset at the comments themselves. I know I'm not fat. i am just all bump. I can still fit in some of my old size 12 stretchy tops so I know I'm not 'fat' but yes the twins/triplets thing gets really annoying. Like we wouldn't know if there was more than one in there Sometinmes though, I know I am far too polite for my own good.
And i'll join you skipping through Narnia as I try to convince my DH to a lovely serene superfast Homebirth whilst DD sleeps through the whole thing!
I really would love a homebirth but the worry of something going wrong is too strong. For me, my baby's welfare is more important than my need for my own happy personal experience. But I can't stop thinking about it...
And re breastfeeding.... I just don't know. I didn't even try with DD and would like to give it a try this time but I know it bloody hurts in the beginning and I know I wouldn't deal very well with doing it in public. So I might just FF and try and get in a routine and allow myself to be able to go out and about as soon as possible. Very conflicting things in my head at the mo. I think part of me thinks that I've wanted this for so long that I just want my baby here, safe, the rest is just background noise. But I know I have to decide at some point...
Well, as I predicted, I am pregnant again. I'm not feeling over the moon about it. I don't know if this will be a real pregnancy that ends up with a baby in 9 months or one that ends in tears in a few weeks. RMC is so horrible. I should be feeling happy, but I feel nothing. I've had the start of symptoms earlier, but I know that there is nothing I can do but wait and see how it turns out. I want a happy ending, but want and reality are different things.
Sorry to crash the thread with my doom and gloom, but I'm sure you've all felt the same.
Evening all, posting from phone so this will be short if not sweet.
Glittery, really glad mw issue was solved, go you! Lunatic, really sorry you're having to go through pnd but kudos for tackling it. LAF, fingers crossed for you. And waves to everyone else.
Hol house huge, ace and overlooks sea. Family have taken kids over, and although it's rainy I don't care because I have my kindle and a chaise longue with a sea view ;-)