Mumsnet Talk

do you agree?

No, I do not agree. I also don't see why we have to be lumped together as one amorphous lump of "women". Can't we all have different thoughts, opinions and wants?

And, for the record, I would consider myself a feminist.

I would have thought equal pay and an end to sexual violence are higher up most women's lists - they certainly are on mine.

Didn't read the article by the way, as it looks like just another load of meaningless media bollocks.

There are some good points in the article. The point that not all women want to work but most of us have to, for example, compared with the alleged feminist belief that all women want to work.

But, it is a load of media bollocks, IMO!

how odd.

she seems to have arbitrarily decided that modern feminism = leaving newborn babies to work fulltime outside the home, ergo a rejection of that = a rejection of modern feminism.

i would quite like to be hectored by a feminist

"Apart from married middle-class women in full-time work, most women would prefer to look after their children and work only part-time if possible. Most women value home and family life above a career — hardly surprisingly, since few women are offered careers and most must content themselves with jobs — and, he argues, women with these domestic priorities feel increasingly that the femocracy of career women in power doesn’t speak for them"

I love the opening dismissal - 'apart from married middle class women in full time work ...'!

I can say with 100% certainty that I didn't want to be at home with my children. I found it tedious and it was not rewarding. I was not very good at it, and my nanny - who was trained in childcare - was infinitely superior at me in these arts.

I had, and still have, a career and it has always been important to me.

I'm lucky in that I have a partner who supports my right to this career and we have worked - together - to ensure that our children are loved, well cared for and that we can both work in careers that we find rewarding.

And why should that choice not be open to anyone?

Why should it feel that it's being forced on people?

That said, I am also of the view that if women want to be at home with their children - or, indeed, if men want this privilege - then we, as a civilised society, should be looking at ways that this choice can be available to all.

Sorry, got carried away with my answer there!

I don't think I've ever felt hectored by feminists.

But I wish 'feminist' wasn't such a dirty word. You only have to read threads on here - a site mainly populated by women - to realise how devalued the word has become.

the one (out and out) feminist i met was so nasty about the fact that my dp is ten years older, really put me off

I often ask my friends if they are feminists. They almost invariably answer with horror that of course they aren't, they shave their legs, they have sex with men, they wear makeup, they want babies, they like wearing nice bras.

Then, I ask them if they like having the CHOICE to do these things, and they always answer yes. I ask them if they think men and women are equal (they usually point out men and women are different at this point, well, yeah they are, but are they just as good as each other and just as deserving of basic rights?) and they answer yes. I ask them if they think people, Male or female, should be able to at least have a chance to do whatever they like, they answer yes.

There are a lot of feminists out there

Because - spot on. Thank you. Much better than I could have put it.

The trouble with feminists like Ms Harman is that she's only a feminist when it suits her purpose, she had no qualms at all about shoving the all female candidates list out of the window to shoehorn her husband into a labour safe seat.

'Hectoring' is one of those words that's only ever used to describe women (who express sentiments that differentiate them from doormats), isn't it?

Haven't read article. I know that sometimes on here, I've been told that SAHMing is an anti-feminist choice - but I'm big n' ugly enough to know that those people are talking utter crap.

The idea that society at large is subject to constant 'hectoring' from feminists is laughable. Most people in this country probably go months at a time without hearing a feminist perspective on anything.

I love a bit of hectoring by feminists me, can't get enough of it.

i'm sorry someone had to link this

One of my favourite quotes that Policywonk

I'm a feminist, and I'd never hector anyone about their work/childcare choices (but I'll hector Leningrad if she likes ).

SEA

I don't understand - is that a Smash alien or something?

CMOT - it's a corker isn't it

sea - loved that show. However in the spirit of feminism it should have been called Zsazsa and Hectors house not Hectors House....

Goodness me. And here I thought feminists WERE generally women.

If only there was a bit more feminism hanging about and a little less get-your-tits-out-for-the-lads, I'd be a much happier girlie in general.

>>'Hectoring' is one of those words that's only ever used to describe women (who express sentiments that differentiate them from doormats), isn't it?

yup.

much like 'shrill' on the other thread.

Ironically, many women don't like feminism because men tend not to like feminism. It's baffling.

I take issue with this statement particularly: "Apart from married middle-class women in full-time work, most women would prefer to look after their children and work only part-time if possible".

I am a married middle-class woman in full time work and I would prefer to look after my children. Circumstances don't allow it unfortunately. Why would such an article, which purports to be combatting many sweeping assumptions, end up making one of the worst ones?

Absurd, since it is a lot of feminist-identified women who have called for choice and flexibility re. the work/childcare dichotomy.

It has been a lot of feminist-identified women who have enriched the discourse around parenting/mothering/working.

Oddly enough, it wasn't lots and lots of non-feminist-identified men doing that.

Is there a word for a token woman who spouts anti-feminist nonsense? Kind of like a beard for the patriarchy? A miserable-merkin, perhaps?