Righttit - that's a lot to take in, no wonder you have been all over the place. I had the FEC regime, and I cut my hair before it could go. Not straight away - it tends to start going suddenly, a fortnight after the first dose, so you can wait until then. You'll know when it has a foot out the door, as it starts to feel yukky. At that point, when a lot came out on the brush one morning, dh and I hacked it off very short and I just slapped a scarf on for the next few months.
It isn't as bad as you probably think, and it comes back faster than you think it will. At least that has been my experience. The thought really is worse than the experience. Mine went in early July, and was well on the way back by late November. probably not long and lush enough to stop wearing the scarves, in hindsight 
but definitely on the return.
As for the FEC itself? Everyone has a different experience, but I found it do-able, and also possible to get on with life. Drink ginger beer and eat pineapple. The first helps with any nausea, the second is good for the tummy and helps with any soreness in the mouth. My tip - don't let yourself be alarmed by the long list of possible side effects. They have to list them all: I had very few and was never sick, only nauseous and tired.
My other tip - they will probably recommend you use a saltwater mouth wash for a few days after each cycle. It really does help.
MAS - poor DS. I am having a think abut it. It's very hard to know what might help. He is clearly very, very able. Hard to make him let himself go more. If I have any shafts of brilliance I'll get back.....