yes i am feeling pretty crap. its not much to ask is it at nearly 30?
every relationship ive ever had has fallen to bits and sometimes i just dont understand what i do to make it like this. my mother is an alcoholic, my real dad doesnt give a shit, my stepdad hates me for reasons unknown.
i dont have many friends. now this is ok, because over the years ive got rid of the people dragging me down. i have two good friends, which i think is better than tons of "going out friends".
i just dont understand why im so hard to love, and why everyone seems to crap on me from a great height.
im not a bad person, i try...i try my best. i love, adore my kids, im a loyal friend, i go out to work, i have a decent home. when im not feeling this shite i am a good laugh. i am a good person, but everyone seems determined to put me down...and the harder i try, the more they do it.
my kids have gone to my aunts tonight and i looked around my house and realised that the silence is killing me! without my kids im nothing. i have no fun, nothing to look forward to and its been like this for over 8 years. i work, i clean, i look after the kids. there's nothing else. everything i touch turns to crap no matter what i do.
i dont want for much, just a normal family would be nice...and im always alone in one way or another. i dont live, i just exist.
most of the time i can deal with that, and carry on as normal but for some reason tonight i feel bloody awful. ive been pretending im ok for a long time, and im really not.
im so embarrassed posting this
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Mental health
All i sodding want is a family and i cant even do that right....
59 replies
nightowl · 31/08/2007 20:41
OP posts:
KerryMum ·
31/08/2007 21:46
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