Join us at Workfest for expert advice on kickstarting your career x

Being left out of a will, feeling blue and confused

(209 Posts)
Newbizmum Tue 24-Jul-12 01:18:17

Our mother died some months ago and it appears there was a change to the will a couple of months before she died, leaving around 98% of the estate (£300k) to my brother and his child with my children and I receiving just a few thousand. Previously the wills of both our parents and then my mother left it 50/50 to my brother and me.

I'll be honest and say that since the somewhat unexpected death of our mother, there have been occasions when the mind has wandered down the road of thinking what we would do with any inheritance. I certainly have not been mentally allocating it for things but rather like a daydream about how you would spend a reasonable but not jackpot lottery win, things like private schooling, perhaps a larger house and so forth.

My brother was initially very communicative but then changed and now doesn't want to discuss it, simply pointing me in the direction of the solicitors. I obtained a copy of the will only after searching the Probate Registry as neither he nor the solicitor would give me a copy.

It had always been an equal split, even before any wills were written but I didn't really consider what would happen because I enjoyed my parents being alive. Reading the will the other day made me feel sick, like I have not felt since I cannot remember when. I feel somehow less loved, second rate, if that makes sense ?

Aside from the mismatch, it worries me that this change, via a codicil, is full of typing errors, spelling and grammatical mistakes and is simply printed on blank A4 paper. All the other wills and codicils were written by the solicitor.

Perhaps because I feel this way I have come to thinking that perhaps this codicil is not real or worse, has been concocted. It appears signed with a reasonable signature (not the clearest photocopy) but the witnesses were just people down the street. I do not even know if this was ever given over to the solicitor but I somehow doubt it as there is no sign of a receipt stamp, which it would surely have.

Do I feel cheated ? yes, in a way. I didn't think this situation would arise for at least another decade but I also always assumed everything was as it had been discussed.

I can't think how the family could be mended after this. If my brother takes it all then it will leave a bitter pill and yes, some pangs of jealousy, which I know to be bad but I can't deny it. I certainly don't feel like going cap in hand. Yet if the feelings surrounding this strange codicil do not diminish, am I prepared to take it further and ask my own solicitor to investigate ? I simply do not know.

I think I could have taken it, albeit it with a little disappointment, if my mother had said she wanted to leave everything to my brother but this seems totally out of character. Even sidestepping the inheritance percentages, I "know" my mother would not make up this codicil at home, she was far too particular to leave anything like that to chance and I cannot envisage her signing something so full of errors, she being a school teacher after all. She certainly could not have made it herself as she didn't know how to type and didn't have a computer or printer.

Sorry for the long post but I don't really know where to turn as my brother has seemingly cut me out of his life. Yet if it has been done without my mother's knowledge or intention, the repercussions would be terrible.

How do I get over this and get back to feeling how I did before ?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Tue 17-Feb-15 09:04:25

D ebriana. It seems you have revived this thread just to be thoroughly unpleasant. Give your head and wobble.OP hope you get some resolution on this sooner rather than later.

Toohonourable Sun 15-Feb-15 14:32:10

I think I remember that you ask whether things can return to before. The only way is a frank confession and apology from your brother, which is very unlikely, sadly. We get sadder but wiser, especially when those closest let us down through such base values which are beyond our own comprehension.

It is not easy but you are the better person so do not change who you are but try to save some areas of your life from this. Your many supporters wish you well would like to know your current state. Maybe they can help you. Sorry to intrude with advice but I fought too hard because the truth was on my side and now have to live with additional disillusionment. Look after yourself and your health. We may all have to join together to prevent such things happening as they are all too common. Good Luck Newbizmum

DidoTheDodo Fri 30-Jan-15 16:47:37

I've just read this thread and wanted to offer you my (very late) support for a successful outcome, OP. It sounds like a terribly difficult situation on so many levels. Wishing you well.

2LittleFishes Tue 13-Jan-15 22:14:25

Hoping things are progressing op and your brother gets his due.

Money seems to bring out the worst in people!

Spadequeen Tue 13-Jan-15 22:09:32

Omg, have just read this thread, how awful, why does money do this to people.

If you are correct, your brother is likely to lose everything anyway, all because he wouldn't share.

Roseformeplease Tue 13-Jan-15 21:54:06

Any news OP? Justice moves slowly but, hopefully, justly.

fusspot66 Tue 13-Jan-15 21:47:48

The OP has identified Will tampering and is taking action. She is unlikely to gain financially, but she sees an injustice.

fusspot66 Tue 13-Jan-15 21:44:29

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

debbriana Sun 11-Jan-15 23:14:54

It sounds like you didn't get on with your mother and she put with you. This sounds very similar to someone I knew.

Swanmum3 Mon 29-Dec-14 22:20:00

Hi there Newbizmum,

Very new to this, only started today on NM. I found your thread via google search and could not believe I am in exactly the same situation as you are. My situation has been ongoing for 18 months. I am going to start my own blog regarding everything I have been going through. On reading your story I notice one post where you said you had the will forensically tested and the result came back in your favour? I cannot seem to be able to find the post again as I tried to reply and lost where I was. I am at the stage of having a forensic expert look at the will I am contesting. Hope you or someone can repost the message? I am also in early stages with newspapers, book editors so my story can be told as like you this is about justice and not the money. The fraud I have experienced is unbelievable. I can offer my sincere sympathy with what your going through and hope we can both find peace with our situations long term.

sykadelic Wed 19-Nov-14 01:20:07

Would he have to register the guardianship with the court or anything?

casperchico2 Tue 18-Nov-14 15:49:18

My brother will not tell me who my mother's solicitor is - does anyone know how I can find this out in Scotland. She is still alive. As I moved abroad many years ago he managed to get financial Guardianship for my mother and refuses to discuss anything about my mother with any family members.He has virtually convinced social work and other authorities that I do not care about my mother in fact I do not know if any of them know that I actually exist.
Terrible situation - any advice on how to find out who my mum's solicitor is would be very helpful.
Thank you.

How awful, well done you for taking it all the way - you are so brave. smile

If court costs run into 50k a day you won't have to pay them out the house sale will you? Will you get all your costs back?

I think what is so important here isn't just the money but also that your mum didn't favour him - I really hope you feel good about that as well as obviousky very sad that your brother is such an awful human being.

Now that he's been proven to be a liar there can't be anyone on his side now can there?
I really hope everyone in the family is supporting you and I really wish justice to be done for.

vdbfamily Mon 03-Nov-14 12:08:20

sorry...had missed some of the thread and now understand that she had been moved to be closer to brother and you had less contact.

vdbfamily Mon 03-Nov-14 12:03:56

Unless I have missed it,you do not say what your relationship with your mum was like. My husband has been informed that he has been written out of his parents will so we have no expectations,but it is not unknown for parents to adjust their wills to 'punish' a child that they perceive has upset them in some way. Were you and your mum always close and had there been any breakdown in that relationship in recent years? However,whatever your reply to that,it still all sounds very suspicious!

holeinmyheart Mon 03-Nov-14 11:38:47

What a bugger having money can be. My sister and her husband removed £20000 from my Dads account about three months before he died. My brother managed to get the accounts from his bank as we were all executors. He discovered what they had done and asked them for an explanation but there was non forthcoming.
Now my brother and I are non contact with her. It is extremely sad when siblings put money before a relationship.
I hope the OP in this case gets justice!

workalot55 Sun 02-Nov-14 23:46:35

Its so bad, going through it myself at the moment and really for last two years. Its like a living nightmare just now. Don't know how siblings can do this. Cant wait for the day I feel normal again. Lost a stone in weight through stress-just couldn't eat. Wake in the night with the most horrific feeling. Feel obsessed about it when I'm not at work but don't want to upset my children by talking about it too much. Just spotted mumsnet and thought this might help. Any advice from anyone who has been through it and got over it and now happy again?

rubyflipper Sun 02-Nov-14 19:23:44

I wish you all the luck in the world and that justice prevails.

You can't believe how wicked people can be when it comes to inheritances.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 02-Nov-14 19:20:44

You just wouldn't think your own sibling would do such a thing to you. How awful.

Sadly dh had similar where an aunt did him and his sister out of 20k from a will. She happily did that to her brothers children. We'd have struggled to prove that she took the money before the estate was split so we never took it any further. We obviously have nothing to do with her now.

workalot55 Sun 02-Nov-14 19:05:53

Hi Newbizmum,

I have read your posts about the inheritance situation. I hope all goes well for you in court. Wish there was a cheaper and less stressful way to sort all this sort of thing out. If the law was changed so that estates were shared out equally amongst siblings, it would help.

workalot55 Sun 02-Nov-14 19:00:40

Hi Newbizmum,

I have read your posts about the inheritance situation. I hope all goes well for you in court.

KrevlornswathoftheDeathwokClan Tue 28-Oct-14 20:07:51

Hope court goes well for you.

tribpot Wed 15-Oct-14 12:11:44

You probably need your own thread to discuss this, nettehere. If you post in Legal Matters someone should be able to advise.

Newbizmum, sorry to hear that your long battle goes on. Still hoping you will get a resolution at some point.

nettehere Fri 03-Oct-14 09:36:33

yes and its not the first time he has done it, but he plans so far ahead, they think he is such a lovely man who has cared for my mom for 10 years or more, when in fact he convinced her that we-me and my other brother didnt want her in our lives and then moved her up north we didnt see her again until she was ill, he had poisoned her mind, she was dependent on him and very vunerable, he should pay for what he has done.

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Fri 03-Oct-14 09:22:34

Goodness. Really hope you gain some resolution OP. What a horrible situation to be in.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now