Being left out of a will, feeling blue and confused

(223 Posts)
Newbizmum Tue 24-Jul-12 01:18:17

Our mother died some months ago and it appears there was a change to the will a couple of months before she died, leaving around 98% of the estate (£300k) to my brother and his child with my children and I receiving just a few thousand. Previously the wills of both our parents and then my mother left it 50/50 to my brother and me.

I'll be honest and say that since the somewhat unexpected death of our mother, there have been occasions when the mind has wandered down the road of thinking what we would do with any inheritance. I certainly have not been mentally allocating it for things but rather like a daydream about how you would spend a reasonable but not jackpot lottery win, things like private schooling, perhaps a larger house and so forth.

My brother was initially very communicative but then changed and now doesn't want to discuss it, simply pointing me in the direction of the solicitors. I obtained a copy of the will only after searching the Probate Registry as neither he nor the solicitor would give me a copy.

It had always been an equal split, even before any wills were written but I didn't really consider what would happen because I enjoyed my parents being alive. Reading the will the other day made me feel sick, like I have not felt since I cannot remember when. I feel somehow less loved, second rate, if that makes sense ?

Aside from the mismatch, it worries me that this change, via a codicil, is full of typing errors, spelling and grammatical mistakes and is simply printed on blank A4 paper. All the other wills and codicils were written by the solicitor.

Perhaps because I feel this way I have come to thinking that perhaps this codicil is not real or worse, has been concocted. It appears signed with a reasonable signature (not the clearest photocopy) but the witnesses were just people down the street. I do not even know if this was ever given over to the solicitor but I somehow doubt it as there is no sign of a receipt stamp, which it would surely have.

Do I feel cheated ? yes, in a way. I didn't think this situation would arise for at least another decade but I also always assumed everything was as it had been discussed.

I can't think how the family could be mended after this. If my brother takes it all then it will leave a bitter pill and yes, some pangs of jealousy, which I know to be bad but I can't deny it. I certainly don't feel like going cap in hand. Yet if the feelings surrounding this strange codicil do not diminish, am I prepared to take it further and ask my own solicitor to investigate ? I simply do not know.

I think I could have taken it, albeit it with a little disappointment, if my mother had said she wanted to leave everything to my brother but this seems totally out of character. Even sidestepping the inheritance percentages, I "know" my mother would not make up this codicil at home, she was far too particular to leave anything like that to chance and I cannot envisage her signing something so full of errors, she being a school teacher after all. She certainly could not have made it herself as she didn't know how to type and didn't have a computer or printer.

Sorry for the long post but I don't really know where to turn as my brother has seemingly cut me out of his life. Yet if it has been done without my mother's knowledge or intention, the repercussions would be terrible.

How do I get over this and get back to feeling how I did before ?

ScarlettSahara Tue 28-Jul-15 18:20:52

Hi Newbiz,
I was wondering if the chance to reach a fair settlement was successful or if you are now proceeding to court? I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Fight on and don't lose heart x

mumcantmakeadecision Tue 28-Jul-15 15:25:14

Have you managed to settle this whole situation yet op?

IamtheDevilsAvocado Mon 27-Jul-15 18:31:28

New to thread:my oh my!

How utterly awful. I wish you well in your continuing battle. Hopefully right and integrity will out!

Swanmum3 Wed 08-Jul-15 20:40:06

Very new to this, only started today on NM. I found your thread via google search and could not believe I am in exactly the same situation as you are. My situation has been ongoing for 18 months. I am going to start my own blog regarding everything I have been going through. On reading your story I notice one post where you said you had the will forensically tested and the result came back in your favour? I cannot seem to be able to find the post again as I tried to reply and lost where I was. I am at the stage of having a forensic expert look at the will I am contesting. Hope you or someone can repost the message? I am also in early stages with newspapers, book editors so my story can be told as like you this is about justice and not the money. The fraud I have experienced is unbelievable. I can offer my sincere sympathy with what your going through and hope we can both find peace with our situations long term.

Chandler77 Thu 14-May-15 09:41:21

What makes this whole thing worse is the stress that I still can't find anything out about his will in black and white, and the Solicitor who is the executor has conveniently gone on holiday. I did pop into estate agents yesterday, to get property detail. And yes his house was put on market for £290k and they even had viewings yesterday, so they think it'll sell fairly quick. My worry is that the Probate has been granted, and this will all be swept under a massive rug and money distributed before any legal response can be made. I cannot work out why nothing is still with UK probate registry and it was send there ages ago. My other fear is my grandfather's previous will, that somehow my brother has hold of, will get destroyed by him. My sister has already denied it's contents, although brother accepts it's a 25% share ratio.

The whole thing stinks to high heaven. Tom called me the other day and was really obtuse saying "what's this I hear you are going to use and estoppel" I had no clue what he just said, he often uses words and jargon to show he's in charge. I told him straight what I was doing and seeing a solicitor and he better get his facts in order, and that I had spoken to Lloyds Bank about the fraud. He slammed phone down on me - calling me a liar. Truth is Rachel knew he had been robbing him blind.

lalalonglegs Wed 13-May-15 19:18:15

A sort of similar thing happened in our family: a widowed, quite wealthy (and slightly eccentric), childless great-aunt left the vast majority of her estate to the solicitor who drew up the will. Although my great-aunt was relatively well-educated, the will was written in very unidiomatic English (English was not the solicitor's first language) and it was all very suspicious. The bad news is that my mother and my aunt's other nieces and nephews went to court over it, the solicitor claimed that the will had been written by another solicitor and it was all a complete surprise to him that he inherited anything - he was believed...

I wish you luck, newbiz, but don't forget, if your brother is prepared to lie to you about this in the first place, he will be prepared to pull together all sorts of alibis to cover his tracks afterwards.

ScarlettSahara Wed 13-May-15 19:03:07

Sorry to hear that Chandler. It is truly horrible. Hope your solicitor can help. Hope your grandad wasn't put under duresse to change his will. I think if 2 siblings are left out questions would normally be asked.
Hope you can get somewhere with this. Maybe you can ask o.p for advice?��

Chandler77 Wed 13-May-15 17:07:29

OMG - this is a carbon copy of what is happening to me and my sister. My grandfather left the remainder, of his assets after funeral and conveyancing fees with solicitor originally to me, my two sisters and brother as a 25% equal split. In the last year out of the blue he totally re-wrote his will and now me and my sister have been written out totally, leaving the lions share to one sister and brother.

My brother has been royally taking the pisss out of my grandfather for years and had retained his chip and pin and bank account cashcard, spending his money carte blanché on his own financial affairs, and not on errans to grandfather. Also he had caused worry and stress on my grandfather requesting large sums for cars, which he would quickly get rid of making grandad feel very annoyed and miffed. He would take large sums from his account and grandad would moan that more money was missing, yet he would,kt ask for card back. I told him the cancel card, but he never did even though I gave him number to call.

Grandad has now made a rediculous will leaving everything 50/50 to my sister and this sponging brother. I feel very let down by Grandad, but it is so out of character to have done this, especially as he still stated I was to benefit from his esate at 25%. He had started to become very frail and doddery after a hip and shoulder replacement and his mental state was often passive, confused and agrovated in last few years, which is the period he re-wrote this offending will. My brother was even spending his cash the week he was gravely ill in hospital and my sister remarked to him, "your not spending his money are you" the day before his death, and which he went white and tried to shrug off suspicion, and truth is he was still spending after his death.

My brother and sister have kept tight lipped, and now probate has been granted, but still can't view will online yet. They have both shown their hand by stating they are going to take their share and leave me and my other sister out. My sister who is going to benefit has also said she'd rather not give me a gift of even £1000 so we can go on holiday and would rather pay that to her mortgage. Her share will be around £150-170k as well. She has become a vile person and Tom the fraudster is no better

I have seen a solicitor today and made it clear to offending brother and sister this fact. My sister who benefits from will is cryingg down phone to brother and he is acting all whollier than thou. The sister who benefits is so aweful, that she and her husband have said now they are worried that husband's mother will not leave anything to them now they have been awarded 50% of a £320k estate. That's how crass she is and her mother in law still has a pulse.

happylittlevegemites Sat 09-May-15 08:47:19

Good luck! It sounds like a real battle, I hope it reaches an end soon.

tribpot Wed 06-May-15 09:39:02

Wishing you all the best, newbiz.

nbee84 Fri 01-May-15 23:06:06

Wishing you strength for your upcoming battle. You can do it x

Polyethyl Thu 30-Apr-15 20:53:40

Thank you for posting an update. It is so awful that your family could be so greedy. Good luck with the case.

ScarlettSahara Sun 26-Apr-15 21:57:17

Hi Newbiz. Glad you posted an update-had been wondering how things were. Stay strong and fight for justice. I hope it doesn't drag on much longer. I hope that dodgy solicitor gets his or her come-uppance too. Please keep us updated with your progress if you can.

Best wishes

Newbizmum Sun 26-Apr-15 12:44:58

I continue to thank all those who post up the kind words and supporting messages. What is surprising to me is the sheer number of people who are in a similar boat and most do nothing or cannot afford to do instigate legal action. The truth is that those involved in the wrongdoing know this all to well.

I do not have many good words for solicitors either as I believe many are simply in cahoots, if not for the spoils and outright fraud then simply for continuing fees and turning a blind eye. Few have the balls to go toe to toe with another practice and accuse them of fraud but luckily mine have backbone in spades.

Funding has historically been an issue as I have spoken about at length and for the last couple of years I have been beavering away to try and generate income which can be used to help fund this. I am thankful that we seem to have turned a corner in this regard. The good thing is that this new business venture will also continue into the future and should provide a more stable future for my family whatever the outcome of this case.

Regarding the legals, we now have multiple expert witnesses and consistent appraisal across all reports. The next steps are to formally proceed and start incurring really large bills. However, is also the time to get tough with relatives and now a war chest is being established, we need to make damn sure that the other side knows we are coming all guns blazing and we will win, take their property if necessary and push through to their bankruptcy if required. We'll then use every influence to get them arrested and their lives destroyed.

That it harsh and unkindly I know but I have had years to come to terms with my feelings and I am not willing to deny them anymore. I am harder than before, have had to endure immense struggle, have faced down those who would see me defrauded and laugh in my face and now things seem on the up I want to push home the momentum and end this sooner rather than later.

I will offer a one time only chance for settlement which will be financially demanding but if that is refused, then I shall not stop until we have proved our case and recovered every single item of the estate under the original will.

Thanks again for everything.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Tue 17-Feb-15 09:04:25

D ebriana. It seems you have revived this thread just to be thoroughly unpleasant. Give your head and wobble.OP hope you get some resolution on this sooner rather than later.

Toohonourable Sun 15-Feb-15 14:32:10

I think I remember that you ask whether things can return to before. The only way is a frank confession and apology from your brother, which is very unlikely, sadly. We get sadder but wiser, especially when those closest let us down through such base values which are beyond our own comprehension.

It is not easy but you are the better person so do not change who you are but try to save some areas of your life from this. Your many supporters wish you well would like to know your current state. Maybe they can help you. Sorry to intrude with advice but I fought too hard because the truth was on my side and now have to live with additional disillusionment. Look after yourself and your health. We may all have to join together to prevent such things happening as they are all too common. Good Luck Newbizmum

DidoTheDodo Fri 30-Jan-15 16:47:37

I've just read this thread and wanted to offer you my (very late) support for a successful outcome, OP. It sounds like a terribly difficult situation on so many levels. Wishing you well.

2LittleFishes Tue 13-Jan-15 22:14:25

Hoping things are progressing op and your brother gets his due.

Money seems to bring out the worst in people!

Spadequeen Tue 13-Jan-15 22:09:32

Omg, have just read this thread, how awful, why does money do this to people.

If you are correct, your brother is likely to lose everything anyway, all because he wouldn't share.

Roseformeplease Tue 13-Jan-15 21:54:06

Any news OP? Justice moves slowly but, hopefully, justly.

fusspot66 Tue 13-Jan-15 21:47:48

The OP has identified Will tampering and is taking action. She is unlikely to gain financially, but she sees an injustice.

fusspot66 Tue 13-Jan-15 21:44:29

Debbriana
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

debbriana Sun 11-Jan-15 23:14:54

It sounds like you didn't get on with your mother and she put with you. This sounds very similar to someone I knew.

Swanmum3 Mon 29-Dec-14 22:20:00

Hi there Newbizmum,

Very new to this, only started today on NM. I found your thread via google search and could not believe I am in exactly the same situation as you are. My situation has been ongoing for 18 months. I am going to start my own blog regarding everything I have been going through. On reading your story I notice one post where you said you had the will forensically tested and the result came back in your favour? I cannot seem to be able to find the post again as I tried to reply and lost where I was. I am at the stage of having a forensic expert look at the will I am contesting. Hope you or someone can repost the message? I am also in early stages with newspapers, book editors so my story can be told as like you this is about justice and not the money. The fraud I have experienced is unbelievable. I can offer my sincere sympathy with what your going through and hope we can both find peace with our situations long term.

sykadelic Wed 19-Nov-14 01:20:07

Would he have to register the guardianship with the court or anything?

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