Thanks Claire. How are you? Hope you are now pain free. Will you have to go for a scan to check all is ok? Here's to a lovely Christmas conception for you and DH.

PL - glad to see you survived the Sine FLu. Hope not too washed out and raring to go for next cycle.

AF arrived about an hour ago . Something isn't right. My cycle lengths are all over the place and I had mid cycle bleeding last month. I am having cramping before AF too which is very unusual for me. Maybe I am just getting older and my cycles are changing. DH and I are talking (after a fashion) via email. He's back late on Thurs so will have to wait and see...

Hope everyone else is ok. x

Jaamy CD1 cycle 29 TTC#3 (mc Mar 08 and Sept 08)
blackrock CD14 cycle 31 TTC#2
PandaEis CD17 cycle 26 TTC#2 (cp april 08, june 08, April 09)
Beanieb CD19 cycle 27 TTC#1 (mmc June 2009)
PistachioLemon CD26 cycle 12 TTC#1
ShayeraHol Cd46 cycle 25 TTC#1
Glastochick CD133 cycle 25 TTC #1
JamieJay CD138 cycle 6 TTC#1 (mc June 2009)
ClaireDeLoon CD? cycle 27 (mc Sept 07 and October 09)

BFPs (but not ready to graduate yet)
louisbackagain TTC#1

TTC GRADUATE LIST (we WILL be on it)
herethereandeverywhere BFP 25th Jan
Comma2 BFP 24th Feb (CD30 cycle5)
Kyte BFP 11th March
Sparkly (BFP 20th Feb) EDD 30th October
MollieMooma (BFP 6th Apr) EDD 16th December
Zen1980 BFP 10th May 2009 cycle2 (after MMC Jan 09) cycle7 before that
Stillstanding (BFP 12th June cycle 13) EDD 13 February 2010

oh Jaamy sorry you're so down. Could you tell DH what you told us (about being lovely and your best friend) and say how sorry you are? I hope late AF/BFN reseolves itself into late AF/BFP.

PL good news about your appointments coming through and I wouldn't worry about the blood test results - they are meant to be done 7 days before you expect your period so if you have ovulated late day 22 or day 24 would be OK? I need to lose a few (well, many) pounds too and for me it isn't cigarettes I need to give but vino. I've got a friends wedding this weekend and after that DP and I are off wine until Christmas.

Beanie I hope you managed to hit ovulation after all - you've been ovulating later with the clomid haven't you? Fingers crossed.

I too get stressy at ov time - and I get pains too, in fact I get more at ov time than when I have AF as I don't have particularly bad period pains ever.

My bleeding has just about stopped and a pregnancy test on Sat showed only a faint +ve so I'm hoping I'm about 4 weeks off starting a new cycle. I have to say it has been hell, I have never had pains like it, nurofen no help at all and also very heavy bleeding. My first mc was nothing like this and so it was a shock and quite frightening. Never want to go through it again

Hello to everyone else, looking at the grad list I think Comma must be due around now? Hope it is all going OK for her.

Hello all!

Been a bit absent. Not sure why. Just life, I guess!

Claire - you're probably fed up of people saying this but you are so brave, staying positive through this. Am still sending big hugs your way and hope that nature has done it's bit and you are beginning to feel a bit more, well, not "normal", but ready to give it another go soon. x

PL good to see things are moving ahead for you and DH. Are you sure you aren't on CD22. Sometimes the stats don't get updated quite right on here. I'm not sure haw quickly the hormone levels change so whether a couple of days would make a big difference. Anyone else know?

Beanie - not sure about ovulation rage but isn't it bizarre that when we should be getting all lovey dovey our bodies make it so damn hard!
I def get pre-menstrual rage. Can't help myself. I get so wound up by stupid little things and poor DH always bears the brunt of it. We are fine all the rest of the time, just the week before TEW gets me I am like a woman possessed. Thought I'd escaped this month and then wham bam on Friday night I blew up at DH because he dared to turn down the heating thermostat! . Said all sorts of wicked evil things to him and threw him out of our bed. He doesn't deserve that. He is a very good man who I love very much. He is my best friend and I am ashamed of myself.

So, AF is late again and my body is punishing me for being an evil evil witch. Tested on Sat and today and BFN. DH is away til Thurs evening and (quite rightly so) isn't speaking to me.

In the middle of all this TTC crap we are trying to sell the house, although at this rate will be just for the divorce settlement. Why do I manage to screw everything up???

I am very today. Sorry.

Little wave to EI and blackrock.

Did someone say they had seen Glasto with a bfp???

blackrock CD12 cycle 31 TTC#2
PandaEis CD15 cycle 26 TTC#2 (cp april 08, june 08, April 09)
Beanieb CD17 cycle 27 TTC#1 (mmc June 2009)
PistachioLemon CD24 cycle 12 TTC#1
Jaamy CD31 cycle 28 TTC#3 (mc Mar 08 and Sept 08)
ShayeraHol Cd44 cycle 25 TTC#1
Glastochick CD131 cycle 25 TTC #1
JamieJay CD136 cycle 6 TTC#1 (mc June 2009)
ClaireDeLoon CD? cycle 27 (mc Sept 07 and October 09)

BFPs (but not ready to graduate yet)
louisbackagain TTC#1

TTC GRADUATE LIST (we WILL be on it)
herethereandeverywhere BFP 25th Jan
Comma2 BFP 24th Feb (CD30 cycle5)
Kyte BFP 11th March
Sparkly (BFP 20th Feb) EDD 30th October
MollieMooma (BFP 6th Apr) EDD 16th December
Zen1980 BFP 10th May 2009 cycle2 (after MMC Jan 09) cycle7 before that
Stillstanding (BFP 12th June cycle 13) EDD 13 February 2010

Hi everyone, sorry I've not been around much. I had the dreaded swine flu, was in bed for two weeks and only got back to work last week.

Beanie Ovulation Rage definitely exists! I get very moody and always end up arguing with DH when we should be cosying up together. Honestly, sometimes I think our bodies make it as difficult as possible to get up the duff. When we were trying all the time, I also felt like I was nagging for sex and making all the moves, which is so dispiriting, especially when I didn't really fancy it but thought we ought to anyway.

In a way, I think we're really lucky. Now that we know that DHs sperm is rubbish, it has taken so much pressure of the whole sex thing. I'm pretty sure I ovulated while I was ill (and had an impressive amount of EWCM) but no sex because I felt too grotty. A month or two ago that would have really depressed me but now I'm okay with it. It probably won't last for long but a sort of 'what will be will be' attitude is slowly developing - probably because now we know there's a problem, whereas before it was just so upsetting.

Anyhow, we had an appointment with the doctor this morning and she promptly had my day 21 bloods taken. I thought I was on day 22, which is what I told her, but now I see I'm on day 24. I'm inclined not to say anything actually as I know I ovulate later than day 14 - what do you guys think?

So, for us, the next steps are blood tests for DH, day 5 blood tests for me and then a follow up appointment with the GP at the beginning of January. We were offered an appointment just before NYE but I thought that would be too depressing in case there's also something wrong with me!

I also need to lose a few more pounds and completely kick the cigarettes before the fertility clinic will see me. I don't smoke very much at all and have been giving up all year but keep going back to them in times of stress. This time I just need to keep off them and not go back...wish me luck!

Claire I hope you're okay? I feel so sad about your situation - it's just not fair. We all deserve to get pregnant and have happy, healthy pregnancies - I just wish it would happen for all of us NOW so we don't have to wait any more.

PLx

blackrock CD10 cycle 31 TTC#2
PandaEis CD13 cycle 26 TTC#2 (cp april 08, june 08, April 09)
Beanieb CD15 cycle 27 TTC#1 (mmc June 2009)
PistachioLemon CD22 cycle 12 TTC#1
Jaamy CD29 cycle 28 TTC#3 (mc Mar 08 and Sept 08)
ShayeraHol Cd42 cycle 25 TTC#1
Glastochick CD129 cycle 25 TTC #1
JamieJay CD134 cycle 6 TTC#1 (mc June 2009)
ClaireDeLoon CD? cycle 27 (mc Sept 07 and October 09)

BFPs (but not ready to graduate yet)
louisbackagain TTC#1

TTC GRADUATE LIST (we WILL be on it)
herethereandeverywhere BFP 25th Jan
Comma2 BFP 24th Feb (CD30 cycle5)
Kyte BFP 11th March
Sparkly (BFP 20th Feb) EDD 30th October
MollieMooma (BFP 6th Apr) EDD 16th December
Zen1980 BFP 10th May 2009 cycle2 (after MMC Jan 09) cycle7 before that
Stillstanding (BFP 12th June cycle 13) EDD 13 February 2010

I'm really frustrated. Am on CD 15 and we last had sex on Wednesday night (cd12)! I stressed to my DH how important it was to have sex last night but he seems to have forgotten the importance of it. I feel like I have to pressure him into it and to make all the moves to get him up for it Now he's sleeping because I kept him awake last night because I was so upset about it. I can't win.

Sometimes I feel like I must be on clomid just for a laugh, specially when we keep missing the opportunity.

Having said that, despite guzzling the cough medicine, I've not had any signs of ovulation anyway.

Went out for a birthday meal (someone elses) last night and the two most significant conversations I had were about my fertility and it's driving me nuts now. I sat there for ages while someone (Who is really lovely but doesn't get it) told me 'it will happen for you two, I know it will' while all I could think was that it's never going to if we don't have sex.

hi ladies

beanie i get this every cycle!! it is caused by the shift in eostrogen to make you ov dont worry!! soon enough you will be preg and have another excuse for the mood swings haha

hi to everyone else
xx ei xx

Also...

Does anyone else know if there is really such a thing as ovulation rage? I can't work out if I am arguing with my DH at exactly the point in my cycle that I shouldn't be because of ovulation or just because

a. I am just a horrible cow
b. he is doing stupid stuff to piss me off

blackrock CD8 cycle 31 TTC#2
PandaEis CD11 cycle 26 TTC#2 (cp april 08, june 08, April 09)
Beanieb CD13 cycle 27 TTC#1 (mmc June 2009)
PistachioLemon CD20 cycle 12 TTC#1
Jaamy CD27 cycle 28 TTC#3 (mc Mar 08 and Sept 08)
ShayeraHol Cd40 cycle 25 TTC#1
Glastochick CD127 cycle 25 TTC #1
JamieJay CD132 cycle 6 TTC#1 (mc June 2009)
ClaireDeLoon CD? cycle 27 (mc Sept 07 and October 09)

BFPs (but not ready to graduate yet)
louisbackagain TTC#1

TTC GRADUATE LIST (we WILL be on it)
herethereandeverywhere BFP 25th Jan
Comma2 BFP 24th Feb (CD30 cycle5)
Kyte BFP 11th March
Sparkly (BFP 20th Feb) EDD 30th October
MollieMooma (BFP 6th Apr) EDD 16th December
Zen1980 BFP 10th May 2009 cycle2 (after MMC Jan 09) cycle7 before that
Stillstanding (BFP 12th June cycle 13) EDD 13 February 2010

Hi all.

We always seem to have guests when I am ovulating dammit. Am guessing I will ovulate tomorrow or the next day and we have 2 people coming plus a friend's birthday to celebrate so yet again I'll be the non-drinking party pooper in the corner

Claire - hope you are ok. So sad to see you back and that things didn't work out for you this time.

Wave to Blackrock. I am surrounded by new mums or pregnant people at the moment. just heard of another pregnancy - this time from IUI which I suppose should give me hope as that's my next step but I can't help thinking it's unlikely I will be one of the few for whom it works.

EI - I saw your other thread, hope you are ok? I hate how long we have all been on here and how difficult it has been for all of us to get through. Am trying to adopt a positive attitude and not dwell on negative things but it really is a case of me having to say outloud to myself 'don't get upset, don't get upset' everytime I hear about someone elses success. Before I got my period this month I went to my mum's house and cried and cried, but I know this makes everything so much harder for her so I have just decided not to do that anymore and do my crying in private. I am fed up with people labeling me as 'the one who can't have children' and I am fed up with people telling me 'it will happen' or offering me the same old advice I have read over and over about diet and treatment.

I'm going to be 40 in 5 months time and if I am not pregnant by then I think I need to accept that it's very unlikely to happen unless I can somehow raise £3000 + for IVF. Trouble is I know that until I hit the menopause I will always be hoping

Frankly I feel trapped on the TTC bus and I just want to get off now.

but it helps to rant here - hope all are ok.

PL - how are things with you?

Sorry to hear it Claire, but know the feeling.

I have a couple of friends in the same situation, but as they are older than me we cannot openly talk about TTC without stirring up difficult emotions, as suspect both feel I have a better chance due to age. Both TTC'd for years before DC1 arrived late in the day.

All other friends are marching onto number two, three or four worrying about gender, and moaning about sleepless nights....so i am there but not really listening properly right now. Lucky to have one beautiful child.

Hope your hormone lift you again soon and yes this room is a slowboat...we need a motor or a rocket....perhaps I'll pop in with a jar of pickled onions.

I'm here, probably missed you though. Sorry you're back at the top

Makes me sad to look at our list and think how long we've all been trying, over a year for each of us and all with our own problems and difficulties.

Finding at the moment that parents of newborns are stalking DP and I, following us everywhere. Thinking of becoming a hermit to avoid them, was OK a week ago but guess the hormone drop is getting to me. And pregnancy test still showing strong positive so I assume next period quite far off. I wonder if we should have a break over Christmas.