You are not a robot and the ovary whisperer's chanting for you in the viroid commune with our carved cock relics- don't panic about the acid foof! It's JS 58!!!

(1000 Posts)
Ain626 Wed 03-Feb-16 21:00:04

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 57 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Ain626 Wed 03-Feb-16 21:01:02

My stats...

Name: Ain
Age: 28
TTC: #1. Been ttc for 19 long months.
I have pcos, and rarely (if ever) ovulate. Next fc appointment in March where they will give me clomid if I lose enough weight. In the meantime I am js and hoping nature decides to take its course...
Fur baby: one little scruff dog.

justtheonethen Wed 03-Feb-16 21:13:11

Great title!

Glad my ovary whispering made the cut grin

Stats:
Name: just
Age: 33
TTC: since August 2014
DC: none, one dcat

CountryGal4 Wed 03-Feb-16 21:14:35

I love that I can still make the title!

justtheonethen Wed 03-Feb-16 21:15:45

Once a js'er, always a js'er country

ScottishLady7 Wed 03-Feb-16 21:19:31

Excellent work Ain!!

Name: Scottish
Age: 27
TTC #1 since October
DC: Zilcho. Not even a dog. Even though I TOLD dh I'd walk it every day and look after it... Not fair. Luckily he thinks I'll be more reliable with a baby...

ChatEnOeuf Wed 03-Feb-16 21:37:13

Just in time! Great work Ain

Chat Stats:
Age: 34
TTC: Jan '14/July '15 - depends how you view these things
DCs: DD 4-and-one-quarter; DS stillborn at 36/40
Fur babies: One fussy tabby.

Ain626 Wed 03-Feb-16 21:48:38

Haha. Exactly what Just said Country

At the risk of outing myself... I just realised that DH and I have been married 2 and a half years today!

Catscatsandmorecats Wed 03-Feb-16 21:57:16

Good work Ain!

Stats:
Age: 36
TTC: #2 since Sept 15
DCs: DS 17 months
Fur babies: One naughty little pony

ZylaB Wed 03-Feb-16 21:59:29

Name: Zyla
Age: 38
Ttc: one month since AF came back nearly a year after having dd!
DCs: one JS baby girl who is nearly one already!
Fur babies: 3 cats smile

Ain626 Wed 03-Feb-16 22:01:45

cats was it you or canters that was looking for someone to share their pony? I can't remember..?

Whoever it was, did your DPony manage to not scare off the potential sharer?

AliceScarlett Wed 03-Feb-16 22:05:06

Alice
30 yrs old
TTC #1
2nd cycle
1 cat, he's only 1

FuzzyOwl Wed 03-Feb-16 22:09:08

Thanks for the new fred Ain smile

My stats:
Name: FuzzyOwl
TTC: #2 since July(ish) 2015 and currently on cycle 6
DCs: One
Fur babies: I saw a poster for kittens needing a home today. I resisted, and the seven Dcats I already have are undoubtably very grateful.

Ditsy79 Wed 03-Feb-16 22:13:10

Name: Ditsy
Age: 36
TTC: Since June 2015 (think we are on cycle #8 or 9)
DCs: DD (2 and a half)
Fur babies: 1 beeyootiful cat (age 3)

lildottie Wed 03-Feb-16 22:15:49

<delurks>

Name: Lil
Age: 30
TTC: Nov 12-sept 15, mc from 1st ivf feb 15
Dcs: currently cooking a baseball cap sized lilbean at 21weeks, the result of ivf cycle 2 and a lot of ££s. All looking happy and healthy so far.

Offers bump for rubbing

Noticed the acupuncture chat at end of last thread. My first one wanted me to go weekly and it felt like a big con. My new lady is wonderful. I did weekly over ivf treatment and I did 2weekly in early pg but before and since I pretty much did monthly sessions. Maybe try another until you find a good fit. I swear the acupuncture helped this bean stick, and helped with my ms, and has helped with my back. I also used the time to listen to a guided meditation CD (in my case an ivf one by Zita west) which I found really helpful.

<relurks>

justtheonethen Wed 03-Feb-16 22:21:17

Happy (half) anniversary ain!

I might try another then lil
<rubs bump desperately>

corgi88 Wed 03-Feb-16 22:35:40

Thanks ain! So proud my carved cock has made the title!

Stats:
Age: 27
TTC: #1 since June 15, bfp Nov 15, mc Dec 15.
Fur babies: One criminal mastermind corgi

<also rubs lil's bump>

Catscatsandmorecats Wed 03-Feb-16 22:37:30

ain it is my very naughty pony who is trying to scare off her new jockey. But the new jockey hasn't been put off, yet. This weekend when they have another lesson will be crunch time... Eek!

justtheonethen Wed 03-Feb-16 22:54:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justtheonethen Wed 03-Feb-16 22:58:38

And one I haven't left names on fb on, have reported other!

FuzzyOwl Wed 03-Feb-16 23:09:06

<rubs Iil's bump> good to hear that you also have positive views on acupuncture. I forgot to say before but I was also given some weird herbs to take. Coincidentally, because I am too cynical to believe anything else, the only two cycles I took them were the only two cycles that I got pregnant. Then again, by the second pregnancy, I was doing everything possible to get a sticky one, so it isn't that surprising!

Ain626 Wed 03-Feb-16 23:40:12

<joins in with bump rubbing, hope you don't mind Lil>

I have found a really local acupuncturist where it looks like she's a one lady business, working out of a small space with a very basic website with not too much info. I also found another that has more info on website, they have a page on the site about fertility and pcos, is part of a small chain (there are 3 sites). Now, part of me is saying contact the small chain, but the other part is saying contact the one man band and see what she actually has to say for herself (possibly be more personal) and the fact that she doesn't have a great website doesn't really tell me if she is a good acupuncturist...

The department of education clearly need an education there just! That's not really the best advert is it!
side note, today is also my two year anniversary of working as a qualified teacher

Hehe, hope it goes well cats I would like to ride again. I haven't for years now. But was fun when I used to.

I am a bad viroid. I just jumped on DH to see if a shag would make af come out of hiding.. (imagines a tiny crazy lady with red hair running around my foof trying to escape the penis, am I officially crazy yet? )

Ain626 Wed 03-Feb-16 23:44:19

Oh, not related to anything but corgi you helped me score points in one of my 'words with friends' games today. I played the word 'corgi' on a triple word score... grin

Illiria Thu 04-Feb-16 02:42:43

Illiria 
Age: 33
TTC: since April 2014, bfp Nov 15 mc Dec 15
DCs: 0
Fur babies: One brain dead feline
Currently JS before starting iui again next cycle.

pretzelpieces Thu 04-Feb-16 06:02:20

Place marking and waving fanjo flags in support of all viroids.

One JS DD, 5 day old minipretzel who is a JS birthday twin with jellybaby.

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