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Conception

Our new greeting cards are here! We're making vaginal butter and baking in a sneaky shag from behind. Our skittletits can't hold us back - it's JS'ing 43!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 06/04/2015 18:14

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.


JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

The link to Part 42 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
jellypi3 · 06/04/2015 18:16

Name: Jelly
Age: 25
DC's: None, two cats, three guinea pigs and a tank with a rapidly declining fish population
TTC: Currently on cycle 10 although only had 1 cycle with a sufficiently long LP.

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 06/04/2015 18:18

Sorry for fail on Fred title, it was mean to say "...and baking in crotchless pj's to have a sneaky shag from behind". PC managed to ruin that for me....

OP posts:
MyBlackCat · 06/04/2015 18:19

Name: MyBlackCat
Age: 33
DCs: None, one small fluffy black cat
TTC: #1 since Dec 13, mc June 14 currently on cycle 9 since MC

CountryGal4 · 06/04/2015 18:25

Name: country
Age: 26 ( but only for a week or two)
Dc: none - two cats and a dh
Ttc: since jan 15. Irregular cycles since coming of bc in oct

Currently rocking all the skittletits

maemay · 06/04/2015 18:31

Name: Mae
Age: 27
DC: none yet (no pets either)
TTC: starting this cycle, as soon as AF has buggered off!

honeysucklejasmine · 06/04/2015 18:34

Name: Honey
Age: 28
DC: two fluffballs
TTC: Aug 14, mc Sept 14.

honeysucklejasmine · 06/04/2015 18:35

Great fred filling Jelly! Grin

jellypi3 · 06/04/2015 18:36

I'm pretty upset, my in-laws (who were in charge of booking the village hall for our wedding next year) have told us that it's been booked for our date for a fucking 80th birthday party. It's May 2016! Who the fuck books a hall for an 80th birthday party 13 months away? They might not even live that fucking long.

I'm really gutted because we had planned everything for the hall, now we need to move the date and hope the hall is free for a different date.

Fuckity fuck.

OP posts:
bellybuttonfluffy · 06/04/2015 18:43

Can I say hi!?

Name: Fluff
Age: 24
DC: one fluffy pooch
TTC: April 2015

I want to scream that we are officially trying! I've been forever broody, but always waiting- waiting to meet a good guy, waiting to finish uni, waiting to get a house, waiting to get married, waiting until honeymoon.

We are finally trying!!!!! But I don't want to tell anyone in RL.

5hell · 06/04/2015 18:47

Name: 5hell
Age:34
DC: 2x cats of the canine variety
TTC: jan 2015, currently incubating something...must book drs appt asap

5hell · 06/04/2015 18:49

Oh jel damn those oldies!! Pick a couple of new dates and get booking asap. Maybe that day will be unseasonably wet n windy? ;)

maemay · 06/04/2015 18:51

Aw Jelly that really sucks! Maybe there is another hall that you can use that would be just as good or even better?
Make sure you make your in-laws pay for extra stuff for letting you down like this!!
Hope you find a new venue.

maemay · 06/04/2015 18:54

Hi Fluff! waves
We've just started trying too! This cycle will be our first ttc. Nervous but excited!

Welcome to the club, newbie!Grin

jellypi3 · 06/04/2015 18:57

welcome fluff

I don't blame the in-laws much but this hall was perfect, 5 mins from the church, really big, lovely setting, and FiL is caretaker. Just really down over it :(

OP posts:
bellybuttonfluffy · 06/04/2015 19:01

Hi All!

Sorry about the hall situation Jelly. I agree, it is fairly odd to book a birthday party so far in advance. How long have the IL's had to book up?

Stoatystoat · 06/04/2015 19:09

Oh Jelly that sucks! Boo them!

Name: stoat
age: 35
DC: none
ttc: January 2015, MMC February 2015. Commenced recreational shagging last week.

Feeling rough as fuck with a tummy bug today.

V anxious about conceiving again, I obvs want to but am so scared of MC as just mentioned on previous Fred

honeysucklejasmine · 06/04/2015 19:10

They might not even live that fucking long.

Ha! That's amazing! But yeah, you're allowed to go bridezilla on them, I think.

Welcome Fluff! It's very exciting just getting started. Enjoying the shagging without contraception. It feels so naughty.

justtheonethen · 06/04/2015 19:39

Name:just
Age:32
DC:one fat white cat
TTC:December 2014 although only two cycles with required amount of jizz!

Welcome fluffy, great to have another shagger in our midst!

jelly that is bastard.

I think think i am ill viroids. Yesterday and today ive been feeling sick and dizzy. Just woke up from falling asleep on the sofa 5 hours ago! I only sleep in day when i'm ill so thats annoying. Meant to do loads of stuff today so am annoyed i wasted day asleep. Dp has done loads in the garden though but now isnt here, bet hes gone to the pub. I'm going to google new garden plants, nice ones for shady fence area anyone?

So im either 15dpo or 8dpo (pos opk twice debacle), suspect 8dpo as af didnt arrive yesterday or today. When can i test? Should i wait for next possible af date?

justtheonethen · 06/04/2015 19:40

stoat i think honey has it right, you will have to take it one day at a time. Sorry you are poorly

CountryGal4 · 06/04/2015 19:55

Piss tomorrow just not going to lie you sound like you may be right up duff not fuelling the crazy at all actually don't. Wait three or four days well piss together that sounds Pervy how are the skittletits??

LaLaLaaaa · 06/04/2015 19:55

Evening viroids!

Name: la
Age: 34
Ttc: since July 2013, mc sept 2014
DC: currently incubating cabbage weighing mini-la, DC1. Also 2 orange cats who are spoiled.

Jelly that sucks! Your indignity that they might not live that long made me chuckle Grin

Hi fluffy waves welcome!

Good luck everyone!!!

fallenstar27 · 06/04/2015 19:55

Name: Fallen
Age: 25
DC's: 0 (+ 1 fluffy cat)
TTC: Mar 15

Welcome fluff, I'm fairly new too, in the tww of cycle one.

just I'd wait til the second potential icing, but that's easier said than done I reckon. Sorry you're feeling ill :(

Rubbish about your wedding venue jelly! Is the date or the venue more important?

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fallenstar27 · 06/04/2015 20:00

When are you due to poas country?

CountryGal4 · 06/04/2015 20:04

10th/11th

jellypi3 · 06/04/2015 20:06

thanks for agreeing with my outrage viroids!

fluff they have had since about the end of january which is when we agreed we wanted to do the wedding there. We have already booked the church for that date, but we booked that church because of its proximity to the hall.

fallen I think the date and venue are equally important. We are getting married in the sticks of the essex countryside, and the date we picked is a bank holiday weekend, so people can come for the wedding and still have their weekend to do weekend stuff. But similarly it's a perfect venue because of it's locality to DP's family and it's cheap (not going for an expensive wedding).

just POAS tomorrow. If it's a BFN POAS in 6 days. Simples :)

I need to get the cape on this cycle, been slacking so far!

OP posts:
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