Rainbow babies. Remembering our angels, riding the rollercoaster and hoping for little rainbows and sunshine.

(1000 Posts)
Little9 Thu 31-Jan-13 20:17:09

An angel in the book of life wrote down our babies births. And whispered as she closed the book...too beautiful for this earth.

Fingers crossed for rainbows and BFPs for everyone!

KleinePoppet Sat 02-Feb-13 16:42:29

moomins that's wonderful news - congratulations - though I am also shock at the spinal not working properly. Ouch indeed! I hope you are having such a wonderful time with cuddles and feeding and just all being together xx

little bad days are awful, aren't they. I'm glad you're feeling a little better today - and hope the alcohol helps! Well done in advance for going out. But I just want to say all over again, I'm just SO sorry that you're going through this for a second time. I cannot imagine, and am so sad for you. As I said, and as we all know, bad days are awful - but they're also 100% allowed and (sadly) 100% necessary. Along with everyone else on this thread, I continue to think of you so often, and send lots of love xx

green well done lovie - but, so sorry it took so long that you need a second booking appointment. I do know what you mean about hating having to go over the details, I also struggle with that during my various hospital/clinic appts. Echoing the one-day-at-a-time advice on here smile

rainbox I'm so glad that all continues to be well. I hope you're given good advice on what steps to take next and when... What's your consultant like - assuming you've met? I also wish there was an obvious choice to make, but I do know that you will make the very best decision you can. Am also full of hope for you and little babybox x

blizy thanks so much, lovely. You might remember that I share a birthday with your beautiful Zoe, so I have been thinking about her, and about you, knowing that it was coming up to her second birthday. I cannot tell you how much I wish she was with you.

mias thank you too. How are you and MrMia doing? I hope Finn is well, and that you are still, somehow, coping with the big whirlwind of emotions and hormones.

angel blimey you guys really do deserve a run of good luck now. So sorry about the car - but v glad that Ant has found a job, even if it's just one to tide you over until he finds something he prefers. How's Phebs?

Big waves and hugs and love to fan, babyh, blue, elly, wtw, spilt and all the rest of you lovely ladies. And thank you all for your lovely words - just a bad few days, really, but seem to be ok-ish today and have seen a friend, and am going to other friends' for dinner. My parents didn't stay for long; sadly, it just made me even more upset that they were having to watch me being so upset (if that makes sense), and in the end we just agreed that we'd see each other again another time. They do know I'm not always like that... but it was very tough for them seeing it, they looked so sad and helpless. DH is back on Mon. It's the first time we've been apart since having E, and I hadn't expected his absence to hit me this hard. He is also having a difficult time, but managing. (*spilt*, hope your DH gets home safely btw - he must be coming home soon!) xxx

razzdazz Sun 03-Feb-13 23:21:24

Hi ladies, just thought I would drop in to say hello as I think of this thread often and how it helped me through. Special 'big' hello to the oldies (not literally) fan, blizy, angel, spilt, blue, wtw and mias. Also cheese and too if they ever drop in.
Huge belated congratulations to blue and miason the birth of your beautiful rainbows, I am so very thrilled for you both. And to moomins of course.
There are so many of you here now offering each other amazing support and strength that comes from such pain. I do still read often always with the intention of posting at the end..............Please dont ever think that my absence means I have forgotton for that could never be.
I am going to try to keep track of this thread now (if that is ok) and will continue to keep you all and your angels in my prayers xx

Hello everyone, sorry to be so absent, I've not had much chance to post. DH is now home safely thank you all for asking and for your lovely messages whilst he was away. We got into our stride by the second week and Freya calmed down and had adjusted better to him not being there so week 2 was easier. But frankly I'd rather not do that again!

moomins a big congratulations on your new baby, hope you are having some lovely snuggles. Hurrah to the end of HG! And omg about the lack of proper spinal. I would have had the general!! Horrified at the thought you poor thing. Hope you are comfortable now though.

little you are being so brave, but please feel free to crash and cry here whenever you need to.

Got to go, overtired screming child... x

Babyh200 Tue 05-Feb-13 00:15:13

Evening all
Quick post before bed so no time to name check everyone.

LITTLE: How are you doing? Things must be incredibly tough so I'm sending massive hugs xx

Moomins: Your little 'J' is beautiful, well done and enjoy all those lovely rainbow cuddles you really deserve them xx

Split: Glad your DH is home xx

Razzdazz: Hello from me ((Waves)) xx

Kliene: Same for you, glad your DH was coming home home today xxx I do hope you manged to have a good time with your friends.....Its so easy to hide away these days isn't it. I find when I make the effort to go out I actually enjoy myself. Hope your feeling a bit better xxx

Blizy: 2 years this month.....thinking of you and your beautiful Zoe xx

Tough week in the Babyh house hold.....I could write a book out of the events of this week but I wouldnt want to bore you. To top the lot I was 3 days late for my AF and was really hoping it might be my month. I had a really bad migraine that put me in bed for the day and I had a similar experience when I was pregnant with my 1st little boy......alas it was a red herring. I know there are others on here who have been waiting alot longer than me but after 7 months and not even a hint of a BFP its getting me down. I know I've got to find the strength to keep trying but its so hard getting nothing month after month : (
Sorry for moaning because I know I have been truly blessed with 3 beautiful children, 2 living and one angel. I just don't know whether I can find the strength to carry on chasing a rainbow its making me so unhappy so I may disappear for a while and lick my wounds xxx

blizy Tue 05-Feb-13 07:33:50

Babyh, I know exactly how you feel. I just wish i could give you a hug, it is soul destroying isn't it? Please don't be sorry, we all moan on his thread, it's a fab outlet! Anyway, I hope the break does you good, thinking of you my lovely. X

Razz, how lovely to hear from you!

Waves to spilt!

Little, hope you are coping ok, but if your not theme that is ok too. We are here for you.x

I have my period, I am quite glad about it. I wasnt looking forward to a repeat of the past few months, just relieved it arrived!

Righto, I better go get ready for the kids coming.

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 07:45:54

my teeny tiny angel baby was born sleeping on october 30th they would of been due 12th of may and im so pleased i got to hold them in my hand before they were taken away, im really trying to get my bfp before the due date comes as i really dont know how the hell im going to cope if im not pg by then.

AngelGeorgie Tue 05-Feb-13 09:02:50

BabyH sending you hugs & love. Do whatever helps you keep sane... Xxxx I hope you find something help you feel brighter soon. Xx
Blitzy hi . Glad you re cycles are returning to some degree of regularity. Xxx
Spilt hi . Glad your hubby is home & all ok with you xx
Little ,hope you re receiving good RL support.you re often in my thoughts. Xx
Fan well done on weight loss. I ve put 5/6 lbs back on since last weigh in on Xmas eve. With 1 thing & another not made it back to SW yet. Was suppose to go yesterday but had to pick Phebs up from nursery as Ant had job interview. Definatly going back next Mon. Want to loose these pounds. Xx
Hope everyone's ok? Crap weather again , enough now.., its hard enough getting to & from work without this crap!!! Long day today grh... At work now to 7:30... Roll on day off Thursday .
Love to all xxx

AngelGeorgie Tue 05-Feb-13 09:04:02

Oh hi razz xxx

KleinePoppet Tue 05-Feb-13 17:55:24

Just a quick post to send a huuuuuuuge hug to babyh. I empathise; it's awful. I'm so very sorry you're having such a rough time. Loads of love and here if you need xx

Quick wave to everyone else and esp to blizy - I'm so sorry AF got you, but, like you, am glad your cycle is at least behaving itself again...

Little9 Tue 05-Feb-13 19:46:07

Thanks for all your hugs and thoughts. Visits from friends and work colleagues are keeping me busy this week. Still holding up ok so am going back to work on Monday.

Baby - sending you big hugs also. We'll be here if you need us. Xxx

Spilt - glad your DH is back home safely. Think I'll be ok for now, but the tears will probably be freely flowing when I go back for pm/test results in a couple of months!

Hello and waves to everyone. Hope you're all doing ok, xx

Welcome ascr sorry you had to find us here! Please tell us about your angel baby if you want to.
I lost my DD2 Sterre at 20 weeks pregnant.

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:05:47

i found out my baby had died at a 10 week scan, it was awful, i had to go for medical manegment 2 weeks later, had the baby very quickly, it was really small with big blue eyes, then had a massive bleed and had to have a few blood transfusions and emergancy surgery. the physical effects took so long to get over that i still havnt delt with the emotional side as much. i just miss my baby so much and the due date is forever looming. i feel like if i dont get pregnant before the due date then that precious little baby died for nothing. i cry pretty much everyday and i hate pregnant women. im so jelous. all i want is to get a BFP but i just never see it happening... its so shit

AngelGeorgie Tue 05-Feb-13 21:22:32

Acsr I too have had medical management for a missed mc ,same circumstances as yours fetus stopped growing at 8 weeks diagnosed at my 12 week scan, a mc at 8 weeks then the awful loss at 41 weeks of my dd Georgie.
Nothing will ever compare to loosing my Georgie.
Allow yourself time to grieve , your feelings are totally natural. You need time to work through the emotions . But you will make it through the other side of your miscarriage.
BabyH xxxx sending you love xxx
Little xxxx you re doing brillant brave lady xxx
Long day at work ; basically doing a consultants job for a quarter of the pay!!!!
Ant got a new permanent job yeh... Was offered a role in Bradford firstly ,accepted to start this Fri. However, logistically was difficult with nursery run , distance , travelling etc... Plus £4000 a year less than previous wage but now been offered a new job about 10 mins from home , better hours & on par with previous wage... gringrin
At last??? Is our luck changing?
Love to all xxxx

Little9 Wed 06-Feb-13 12:35:04

Angel - huge congrats to Ant. So pleased all has worked out well for him. The only way is up, girl (have I just shown my age there, oops! blush ).

Welcome ascr, sorry you have found yourself here and sorry I missed your first post somehow. The ladies on here have been and continue to be a tremendous support. I had a mmc where we found out at 12 week scan that baby had died at 7 weeks in 2011. I then mc Daisy at 20 weeks in June last year and have just recently mc Lily at 20 weeks last month. I know it's disheartening, but I'm sure you'll get there. We'll probably give it one more go and then reassess depending on what happens with the next pregnancy. Can't keep going through this indefinitely.

Waves to everyone, xxx

KleinePoppet Wed 06-Feb-13 13:20:34

I am on my way out but just a short message to say - little, you continue to be in my thoughts so often... I'm glad that having people around is helping.

angel so pleased for you and Ant! Great news.

acsr, I'm so sorry I missed your post yesterday, and am so sorry you're having such a hard time of it, both emotionally of course but also physically. It's very normal to feel so low, but I just wanted to encourage you to have a think about finding someone to talk to, if you continue to find yourself feeling so sad. Counselling can sometimes just help you get through the long, difficult days.
I understand your need to be pregnant by a certain date - I am looking ahead to my daughter's birthday and just hope-hope-hoping to be pregnant by then (she died at the age of 2 days last June; my labour was induced at 42 weeks but she sustained sudden and almost total brain damage just before she was born). Yet I know that I will get through it, if it doesn't happen. And I am quite sure you are stronger than you know, too - think about what you've already managed to get through... Lots of love xxx

AngelGeorgie Wed 06-Feb-13 16:37:35

Thanks v much little & Kleine. Certainly a relief xxx
Hope you re both doing okish?
Little you sound like you re managing to look foreward a bit. You re doing so well xxx
Kleine how are you? Any brighter? Hope you re feeling a little better? Xxxx

Sorry not to name check, I just need somewhere to rant for a moment. I'm not well have a really bad case of the flu and what happens today? I ovulate, and there's no way DH is coming anywhere near me, due to the coughing and snot but also I ache and my skin hurts! So this cycles is also down the pan! Booooooooooooo that is all.

fan I hear you! Boo to the flu!

L just slept 11pm to 4.30am! No feed! Can I tell people she's sleeping through now wink
On the other hand we have a poorly DD1, together with 3 other girls from nursery, nasty sick bug going round!
Bad timing as my little bro arrives with his boyfriend today for a few days visit!

Ellypoo Thu 07-Feb-13 08:43:51

Oh fan, that's just such rubbish timing sad

Fab news angel, that's really good news!!

Thinking of you so much little xxx

Nice to get a good nights' sleep blue!

Welcome acsr, sorry to hear about your MMC, I lost my DD aged just 2 days on NYE 2011, and am now 27 weeks pg with her younger sibling. It is really hard, a MMC in itself is hard, never mind all the physical problems that you had to go through afterwards, talking can help - is your GP able to refer you for some counselling?

Hi everyone!

blizy Thu 07-Feb-13 10:56:54

Oh no fan, how crap! Hope you feel better soon.

acsr, welcome to the thread, although I am sorry you find yourself here. My dad was stillborn at 41 weeks in 2011, her second birthday will be in a few weeks. I hope you are able I find some support here and in RL.

Angel, fab news about ants new job!

Elly 27 weeks! Wow.

Blue, well done to lotta! Hope you are able to spend timevwithnyour brother and his boyfriend and that miss k is well soon. X

Big waves and hugs to all who need them. X

greengoose Thu 07-Feb-13 17:04:28

FAN... Sorry youre not feeling well, and really crap timing. Hot toddies sound like they might be called for, and much pampering by DH!

BLUE, what a good baby you have... I'm sure that's it cracked, and never a wakeful night again!?? (speaking as someone with a wriggly five year old in bed more nights than not these days)!
Hopefully dd1 gets better soon and you can enjoy your visitors..

Acsr, I'm sorry to hear about your MMC, it is an awful thing to go through. I have had 3MCs, at 11, 6 and 9 weeks, and my little girl Merryn who was born at 32 weeks, and stayed with us for 6 days last April before she died. We miss her every day. I am also lucky enough to have two boys, aged 10 and 5. I am currently 10 weeks pregnant. I hope you find the support, both here and in RL that you need. I think it's very normal to 'need' to get pregnant again ASAP, and I hope it works out for you.

ELLY,I can't believe you are 27 weeks! I bet it hasn't gone quickly for you though? How are you and the bump doing?

ANGEL... I'm so pleased things are working out for you! And thanks for advice re MW, I just need to keep jumping the hurdles and stop over thinking it all....

KLEINE.. How are you my love? Sorry you had a rough patch. It's horrible when DPs go away for first time (and not great next time either)! I'm glad he's back with you. X

BLIZY, as with others, I am glad your AF was more timely, but wish the cow hadn't turned up at all, obviously. Any snow up your way yet? My OH is flying to Glasgow for work next week I think, he just imagines there will be snow, because it's Scotland, and winter. He's going to be disappointed!

LITTLE9, I hope the days are being gentle on you, you are being so very strong. We are here however you need us... You are never far from my thoughts just now...

SPILT, glad DH is back safely with you!

RAINBOX. It sounds like you are doing well, but with tricky decissions coming up? do you have a consultant you trust to advise you? Will the scan tell them more, I'm guessing? It's all just very stressful isn't it!

Hi to those I've missed.

I have scan tomorrow morning. (10+5) The way it appears to work is I take the day before scan to panic. Housework is abandoned and i am best avoided. dH has taken the boys and two of their friends to beach for hot choc and chips after school instead of bringing them home as I 'was a little bit on edge'. I think he was being kind! As soon as I see HB I will breathe again, but I don't think I will get past being terrified of scans, they are too wrapped up in the worst news from Merryns pregnancy.
In the evening some very dear friends are dragging me out to our favourite bar for cocktails (oj?) and food... I don't really want too, but it's very lovely of them, and I have neglected them very badly, so I need to go. I haven't put makeup or 'going out clothes' on in a year! I fear I may have gone to seed slightly! Im sure I'll enjoy it when we get there.....(nervous).

blizy Thu 07-Feb-13 17:17:21

Green, no snow here at all, it is bloody cold though! I hope all,is well a the scan tomorrow. Go and enjoy our night out, eat yummy food, have some mocktails and have a giggle with your friends. You so deserve it. X

AngelGeorgie Thu 07-Feb-13 19:33:38

Green have a fabulous time tomorrow night . You ll love it. It's great to get dressed up, made up , & out sometimes... FX for your scan xxx
Fan : sorry you feel crap. Hope you come through the worst soon. Xx
Blitzy hope u re ok? Xx
Blue ; glad L's sleeping better. Xx
Hi all; cold here FX for no more snow so sick of it... Come on spring .. Enough now ... Lovely day off with Phebs. Shopping & lunch with my darling. She's truely a delight. Such a character. Xx
Love to all xxx

blizy Thu 07-Feb-13 21:09:37

Angel, I'm doing ok thanks Alhough I am thinking of asking to gt my ad's increased. confused

I just re read my post further up the page, obviously I mean my dd was stillborn, not my Dad! blush

greengoose Fri 08-Feb-13 18:45:26

Just quickly to say scan was fine, baby very wriggly! Another in just under two weeks with consultant. This time they are really watching us.

I'm trying in vain to remember how to put on makeup properly.... Aaaagh! I don't think the dog recognises me, her head is critically to one side... I'm sure I'll enjoy it when I get out, but I just want to curl up with Dp really. (bit sad). Once I've done it this time I'm sure it will be better next time..... (I am now rambling on trying to convince myself, so I'll just go now)!

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