Avast Behind! Full of salty seamen and buxom lasses, the Gin Palais is heading off in search of Pirate Booty! For those brave BESHly wenches in their 30’s, TTC since the Black Death.

[BarbiesBeaver]

Ahoy Gin Hags, behold the Hendrick?s Palais, the finest sea goin? vessel that ever left these God forsaken shores. Packed with comely wenches and salty seamen, I be lookin? for a BESHly crew to travel the seas in search of booty. Land lubbers lackin? a twisted disposition need not apply.

Let me shiver yer minges with tales of the fearsome Droid Monster, who raises his bloody head each month, and the dreaded 2WOOFL, where the vaguest signs can be espied from the top o? the Crow?s Nest.

Get ye to the Brig, yer scurvy dogs, where Roger the Cabin Boy will see to yer needs, or apply the Cat O? Nine tails to yer britches if ye should mutter the oaths of Babydust.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho(es).

"Shiver yer minges"

I sort of love you BBGun.

What's with the question marks? First thread start Fail! That's what I get trying to C & P to ensure me Pirately grammar was right.

Is he here? Is he here?

Ha harrrrr.

How are you this morning Aries?

Yes and just WHAT is going on with the question marks? BESHes have walked the plank for less.

Fine thanks Mina You?

Yeah all right. Droidy droidy droid droid, but all right 'part from that I s'spose.

Fucking droid. That was lufferly what MrMina did the day before yesterday with the prawns and wotnot. I was aghast to read you'd been so upset and wanted to come back to Teh Smoke immediately :(

Didn't do it in the goddamn preview . I hope there is going to be a mutiny. Cap'n (Oh that's right, no sodding question mark now I see) Jack is imprisoned in the Brig. I managed to capture several incarnations of him from No Man's Land so there would be enough for one each.

Oh fanks Aries: that would've cheered me up enormously. Just as much as the prawns. It wasn't really the droid that did it - it was everything. Just EVERYTHING. Not least the awful creeping burden of terror that I gave up a respectable and well-paid career for a dream that may come to nothing. I think the droid was the last straw. Tant pis. My Dad always used to say, "Worse things happen at sea", and I guess that's true

Indeed. But crap things happen on land too.

Ooooooooooooh Ahhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrr me hearties. Now gather ye to my awesome busoms and let's sing some shanties of BESH days gone by.

I need to go and interrogate Cap'n Jack and it's a one woman job. Please guard the door and ignore him begging for mercy.

GAAAARRRRRRRHH! I see ye comely wenches are fond of Seaman Staines Love the 2WOOFL crow's nest where we can look for signs

Cap'nBeaver, as Admiral Pedant, I ought to keelhaul ye for the dubious punctuation but the genius of the opener means I can forgive ye anything. Fancy a tongue-lashing instead?

Pirate story: the first year me and TYF were going out, when it was International Talk Like A Pirate Day, I overhauled my entire MySpace page (it was all about MySpace back then!) to basically be a filthy, innuendo-driven dedication to our lurrrrve (videos inc. Friggin' In The Riggin', etc.), written entirely in pirate speak, with rude pirate interests, hobbies, work, etc., mocked-up pirate pics of me as a saucy lady-pirate-captain, and much reference to him being my terrified and hapless sex slave cabin boy Luckily, people didn't realise quite how close to the truth that was/is He was as embarrassed as he was chuffed!

Amusingly, TYF does look a bit like Tom the Cabin Boy I do NOT look like Captain Pugwash, however. Honestly.

I have just spotted the Avast Behind pun. I am sooooo slooooooow.

Oh! I just go it too! And mine really is vast! (I have already told y'all the 'African woman' anecdote so many times I won't bore you with it again...)

'Gin Hags'???? how many of me are there? Have you been drinking CapnBeaver???

Obviously I know you are the one and only Ginhag but it was a rhyme of Jim Lad. And obviously we all try to emulate your ways Plus, I have always been drinking.

I was also calling you hoes in case you didnt get it PloptheOwl and FormerlyKnownAsBangers It was a play on Yo Ho...Oh fuggedit.

Sorry to everyone for the universal droidage, why doesn?t he just fuck off? Can?t remember who?s still in the running, is it Ariel? Especially boo for Lorry and Lyra, no fair.

Cinco are the other follies expected to catch up at all by Thursday? I guess not if you factor in 36 hours trigger pre-basting. Hope the needling is helping with the mentalness.

Liking the new handle MinaIsAPunkRocker. Sorry for more droidage. Tell us what you are going to do with your hair then -?so I can copy--.

so What is wrong with me today? I should be beaten with the plank let alone walk the fucker.

Oh and booty as in bottom/booty "What's another word for pirate treasure" etc. I'll get my coat.

Excellent fred end, LadyG , I officelol'd.

I presume the pit is below deck? In the bilge water and dark. But ha, ha, I has all the rum. Yo, ho, ho and all that.

Sick note runs out tomorrow so got to go back to work. Feeling slightly apprehensive. Last time I was there I was very much pregnant and secretly planning when I could go on maternity leave . Don't know what to say to my colleagues. The senior folk know but not my other ones and they're bound to ask what wrong. Don't know whether I want them to know or not really.

Sorry all a bit me,me,me. T'is a lovely ship though. I need the comic factor, me hearties.

Hopefully now we have a ship we can sail away from future droid attacks? You DID pack the cannon didn't you? Clungeface?

LadyGG sorry about the possible work horridness tomorrow. Is there a trusted few you can let know what's happened so they can fend off probing questions/offer hanky for crying jags? In the end I told a couple of people in my office and said it was ok to let everyone else know and everyone else was really kind. I work in a very small office though so your circs may differ enormously. Best of luck tomorrow, I hope you have MN access at least for our encouragement/violence. I also loved the end of the last fred, and I thought it was fitting you had the final say , so have a big kiss from me.

Pit in indeed below deck in the bilge water; in extreme cases we can send you to Davy Jones Locker. But we won't need that as I have nicked the tri-cannon from The Flying Dutchman to blow the flashing bollocks of any rusty bleepers seen following the Palais.

I think the Pit should be in the Captain's luxurious quarters with servants and stuff.

I just told them it was flu, LadyG , which is a total cop out but I couldn't face the sympathy and then the staring whilst they wait for me to conceive again...your office might be different, I do hope so.

PS. I don't think I packed enough Cap'n Jack's to last the thread, so go easy on him Ski. . Oh dear. Ski how could you?