what did you wish you'd known/been told about labour and post-labour (things they don't print in books)

(333 Posts)
choufleur Sat 21-Jun-08 19:01:31

i wish someone had told me that you can feel the baby go back up sometimes when you're pushing (but it will eventually stay down and come out)

notcitrus Wed 30-Mar-11 10:34:37

That all my care through labour and delivery and recovery would be wonderful.

Post-natal, on the other hand:
That my hospital wouldn't give me toast.
How terrifying it is to be left alone in a room, attached to a bed with drips etc, and your crying newborn out of your reach.
That no-one asks what drugs you might be taking when you arrive at hospital, so after birth you don't get them for over 24 hours. And only then at the fifth time of asking and shouting at a nurse that your vagina feels just fine thanks but you still have the OTHER PAIN YOU CAME IN WITH!
That random people will take your baby away with no explanation (sent interpreter running down the corridor twice to check they were in fact hospital staff)
That staff will fuss about washing their hands before touching the baby, but you lying in diarrhoea for four hours and expected to feed him is considered just fine.
How wonderful the assistants who clean you are - finally being told 'well done, of course you're tired now, don't worry, you will be a wonderful mother' made a huge difference after three days of no sleep. They should get medals. Unlike the bitch who told me breastfeeding for only 15 min per side didn't count, when I told her I'd been lying in shit for four hours despite promises to clean me up, but at least I'd managed some bf.
The one advantage of all that is the post-birth-poo trauma didn't happen!

Most importantly - even once ds and I were cleared to leave at 10am, people wanted us to wait and faff with talks and paperwork so we didn't escape until gone 5pm. Should have just walked out so I could have got some precious sleep at home!

That gas and air makes you talk complete bullocks
That the tea and toast after labour tastes the best ever.
That the post-birth poo session really can be that bad.
Not to take neck half a bottle of lactulose in one day unless you want to fart like a horse and have raging stomach cramps.
That the midwives who took the baby overnight for feeds were worth their weight in gold.
That it's all worth it in the end.

planetalice Sun 27-Mar-11 14:25:11

How BRILLIANT gas and air is. (well was for me)

Seriously you will not care if you do a poo!

To remember to wee between contractions - my bladder blocked the placenta being pulled out.

The pain - contractions - stop immediately once the baby is born - magic!

And... it really is all worth it

Pregnantwhale Fri 25-Mar-11 22:37:17

That you can have really painful contractions for 3 days and still only be 3cm dilated.

That you can be given strong sleeping pills to get you to go to sleep during these contractions.

That the sleeping pills don't work because the contractions are so painful so you are incredibly out of it and don't know what is going on and have lost the ability to speak.

That epidurals don't always work and you can feel all the contractions down one side of your body.

That you will be constantly sick during labour. That you can throw up all over yourself because you can't move due to epidural and you have been left on your own.

That your MIL can be allowed to come into the labour room only 10 minutes after you have given birth so she can see her grandchild.

SavannahRose Wed 23-Mar-11 15:11:25

Babytime i just about pee'd myself at ur comment

Spudulika Mon 21-Mar-11 14:59:35

That forking out the amount of cash you'd spend on a fairly cheap European holiday can buy you the birth that you want and allow you to buy-pass all the things that can make birth on the NHS infuriating.

whoamamma Sun 20-Mar-11 21:50:10

That...
you can be one of the lucky few who labour and deliver speedily and without intervention.

you don't feel the tear as it happens, but you certainly feel the stitches. For weeks afterwards.

VEs hurt more than any other part of it. Not sure what happened there, but each time I leapt off the bed in agony.

lochia lasts for ages, but gets lighter each week.

you don't necessarily feel the urge to push. Looking back, perhaps I did, but assumed it was a poo!

some MWs are into active birth and also read the birth plan. I had a bad cop one too, who was like a League of Gentlemen character.

squiby2004 Wed 02-Feb-11 22:12:33

That it was worth every penny of private maternity care

That because I had PE had a c section at 34 weeks I totally escaped labour and had a painless birth due to a mobile epi for 4 days, and also because if this my fanjo Is EXACTLY the same as it was pre DD.

That you could have a baby without 1 VE or need to get my fanjo out at all!!

That my baby could go to the nursery at night whilst in hospital so I got a full nights sleep for the 1st 4 nights after she was born in which to get over major surgery which meant I was fighting fit on leaving hosi 5 days post birth and shopping in Bluewater 3 days later :-)

That pregnancy was a bitch but due to the above the birth was AMAZING!!

BuzzLightBeer Wed 02-Feb-11 21:26:12

Gas and air is a fantastic pain relief and I bloody loved the stuff. In fact I'm told I begged the midwife to give me a canister to take home. grin

EgonSpengler Wed 02-Feb-11 21:17:29

That gas and air is not pain relief. Not even close.

That breathing through the pain / contraction does nothing. NOTHING.

That very often MW's don't know what they're doing.

GruffalosGirl Wed 02-Feb-11 11:21:38

That it's best to trust your judgement on whether you're in labour and when the midwife on the phone tells you you've got days to go you could be 7cms and they might be talking crap.

That back to back labours are sometimes not that painful and you can sometimes get through the pain with gas and air.

That you can need to poo with every contraction, from the very first, so that by the end you are leaking diarrohea on anyone who comes near you.

That you can push so hard that you can do something to your jaw so that it still clicks two years later.

That even after a 3rd degree tear if they give you good enough drugs the first wee and poo can be completely pain free.

That you can refuse to put your baby on a hypoglycaemia test and sometimes the midwives don't know what they're talking about.

theborrower Tue 01-Feb-11 09:58:20

1944girl Yes, god the wind! Painful, and totally embarrassing when you're in a ward and visitors come in. I just prayed they didn't notice wink Had a good giggle about it with the woman in the next bed though who was also a CS

MrsNoggin Mon 31-Jan-11 09:49:52

To add insult to injury your hands can swell up to the size if balloons for a couple of days afterwards. So the first photos in your baby's album either have you immediately post birth covered in sweat and blood and just looking generally grotty, or looking slightly cleaner and more composed, but with hands at least twice the size of your whole newborn!

It's bloody uncomfortable too.

1944girl Mon 31-Jan-11 00:00:50

I had both of mine by EMCS so have not pushed them out.
But I am in agreement with all on here about CS.
The wind pains are terrible, no one gives you solid food until you have ''passed wind''.
Just after my second one I could not pee and was in agony, my bladder was so full I thought there was another baby left inside.After beinf threatened with a catheter I pleaded to go and sit on the loo first as was only allowed bedpan.A nurse came with me and watched as a flood of pee like the Niagra Falls escaped from me as soon as my bum hit the toilet, the relief was lovely.
Yes you bleed afterwards, just like a ''normal'' birth.
The first time you poo you think your wound is going to open up.
The GA made me throw up all over the floor.

porcamiseria Sun 30-Jan-11 22:57:12

ooooh just saw someone else got the "poor maternal effort" note too!!!! I was gutted when I read that after DS1

fuckers

porcamiseria Sun 30-Jan-11 22:48:09

that you shit yourself in the pushing phase

that episiotomy KILL afterwards

that you bleed loads afterwards, and for ages

that breastmilk does not often come in for DAYS and you have hungry baby screaming

tigerbear Sun 30-Jan-11 18:48:33

Always PMSL at 'clown's horn'!

Beveridge Sun 30-Jan-11 16:26:16

Not as icky as the chaffing that would occur if amniotic fluid wasn't constantly being produce right to the end!grin

'Tis weird though, the constant dribbling wherever you go.

Kirisox Sun 30-Jan-11 07:21:42

Oh and just how brutal, tight and unpleasant an ecms feels

Kirisox Sun 30-Jan-11 04:41:55

That when waters break before labour, they will keep going until baby is out, which is icky.

Alwaysworthchecking Sun 30-Jan-11 00:52:17

That during labour you may need to poo, to the extent that you actually stop thinking about the abby at all, beyond a, 'If I could just have this poo, I'd be happy to get on with labour. And sod the fact that I've got an audience, I'm having this poo - or else!' blush

That, poo-breaks included, some labours are really very fast - so fast that you may not clearly remember them afterwards and may have to rely on dh's account of things. That he may want to remind you about the poo.

That a few minutes after birth you will feel utterly winded and thus unable to eat the cheese sandwich that the mw has brought you, despite the fact that you are ravenous. That you will then have to watch your dh scoff the sandwich.

That in the bath afterwards you will go to wash your fanjo and wonder why it feels like the horn on a clown's car. You will exclaim in horror and have to make up some story to the nurse supervising you, because you really don't want to tell her about the clown's horn thing.

That a week or so after giving birth you may suddenly find that you have the itchiest legs in the whole wide world. That they will be covered in hives and that you will want to claw off your own skin, just for a bit of relief from it all. That nobody will seem to have any clear idea what causes that, or how to stop it. No one ever, ever tells you that!

RockLover Sun 30-Jan-11 00:31:14

I am 40+3 with DC 2 and am going for a Vbac after an emcs with dd 6 years ago.

After reading all this I have to say I am now fecking terrified and wish I'd asked for an elcs.

tigerbear Sun 30-Jan-11 00:19:53

Beveridge - I am REALLY hoping that's the case!

Beveridge Sun 30-Jan-11 00:16:59

Tigerbear I have a friend who has had 2 children, both homebirths without G&A who claims that she is still waiting for labour to get "really sore".

You might be that soldier!

tigerbear Sun 30-Jan-11 00:12:53

Fucking hell. Am 26 weeks with DD1 and have just read the whole thread. Totally scared shitless now.

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