Join us at Workfest for expert advice on kickstarting your career x

How to stay awake during night feeds part 4 - Food porn a plenty

(1000 Posts)
HorridHeffalumpsWickedWoozles Sat 10-Nov-12 23:36:03

A brand spanking new thread for midnight ramblings, chocolate covered pretzels and so much more grin

missingmymarbles Fri 16-Nov-12 16:22:40

Amey, I often feel guilty about DD1 too, she had 7 years of me to herself; but she adores her little sister and is very understanding. I think it's normal to worry about DC1 when DC2 comes along. A sibling is a gift though, and Missmarbles hero-worships her big sister alreadysmile In fact, the cutest thing today, I was watching some footage on my phone that DD1 took of Missmarbles, and the first voice you hear is DD1's talking to her, she was half asleep in my arms but totally woke up and started looking for her big sister - it was lovelysmile

MrsN, you are not a rubbish mum. You are his favourite company at the minutesmile. He will love to look at your face so push it his so he can study it. Wait til he's grabbing your nosegrin Amey's suggestion is a good one too: put him where he can see what you and talk him through what you're doing. Give him a toy to feel. He probably isn't holding stuff yet, but then when he is give him different textures, doesn't have to be toys, safe household items related to what you are doing are fine eg. a wooden spatula, if you're cooking. Enjoy him not 'doing' stuff, because his favourite place is in your arms at the minute and he is laying foundations for other 'doing' things later. Before you know it, he'll be squealing at you and grabbing at stuff and putting it in his mouth. Baby groups are good too, and you're already doing baby sensory aren't you? (Missmarbles fell asleep in hers todaygrin) I don't mean it to read patronisingly, sorry if it does; typing doesn't always convey things well, but please don't feel like a rubbish mum.

MrsNPattz Fri 16-Nov-12 17:13:51

Thank you so so much amey and marbles for taking the time to write those suggestions - it doesn't sound patronising at all. I go to baby massage and we started baby sensory today but I felt he is maybe still a little young, he kept falling asleep too marbles lol I talk to him all the time but feel guilty when I'm not - sometimes I'm so tired. I put him on his play mat but he isn't very playable at the moment and gets fed up easily so I just feel like I'm always doing something wrong. I think I'm putting an awful lot of pressure on myself and its making it hard work emotionally. I just love him so much and want to do the best for him, as we all do. Thanks for making me feel better guys xx

MrsN it is completely normal to have times where you feel like this, but I assure you, you are doing a great job smile You and everyday life are perfectly good stimulation at the moment - even a brief trip out in the pram or the sling is utter fascination for them! If he gets upset left on his playmat then he probably just wants a cuddle/food/to have a moan - I think 2 months is probably too early to be getting bored smile

And you don't need to talk to them all the time! It is great interaction, but you are allowed a break. Others may not agree with me, but I think (as long as they are happy, obviously not if it upsets them) it is a good thing to allow them time on their own to look and explore their environment. They need downtime too, the world can be pretty overwhelming when you are tiny.

I've been feeling the same this week - at 6.5 months, DS seems to getting frustrated that he can't move/do much, as his brain is a bit more developed than his motor skills. I was in tears on the phone the other day to my friend as I didn't know what to do with him anymore - she was very reassuring and suggested lots of simple things like bubbles, things that make noise (scrunchy paper, etc). Today I thought, ok, maybe I'm not as good as I thought I would be at interacting/playing with him (it seems like other mums find it really easy), but I know I show him how much I love him with lots of kisses and cuddles, which has got to be good, right? er, forgetting the really bad nights where he wakes up screaming every two hours and I yell at him to shut up

Sorry, dreadful load of waffle there. Summary: you are not alone, it is normal to feel like that, but have a big ((hug)) and remind yourself that actually you are a great mum thanks

funchum8am Fri 16-Nov-12 18:52:33

Welcome blonder!

mrsn my DD is younger than your little one so I can't offer wise words other than to say the very fact that you are thinking about how you interact with him shows you really care and are doing a great job! I sometimes worry that I am a crap mum as I am going back to work earlier than most, because we are not in a routine yet, because I read a thing that said something I have been doing is wrong or dangerous or whatever so I know how you feel. I think the advice given here is excellent and it is easy to be way too hard on yourself when you are really doing a great job.

Yay for smicha's mum for acknowledging how hard it is having a baby!

heff are you out there? Hope all is well.

I have been out and bought a Troll.bedside cot. It is all set up but doesn't seem to have a way of fixing it to our bed - does anyone else have one? Any tips? We have put it right up against our bed and put the braked on - is that ok? Cannot wait to be able to semi co-sleep!

Sounds like last night was mixed - here's to a peaceful Friday night!

HorridHeffalumpsWickedWoozles Fri 16-Nov-12 19:29:03

Hi everyone sorry I've been a bit absent <waves to all> had a few of those nights when you just can't really focus so I've been feeding in a bit of a stupor. Thanks for the waves mrsn & *funch,

I've got a troll crib * funch* we've used a mixture if cable ties and belts to strap it to our bed frame which seems to keep it sturdy, wish it came with something proper though!

Hi blonderthanred how are you? Haven't been right the way back through the thread so sorry if you've already said but how did your birth go, did the clary sage/reflexology etc have any effect in the end? How old is your LO now?

I've got pages and pages to catch up on so sorry if I've missed anything, will catch up tonight!

Ameybee Fri 16-Nov-12 19:39:09

The fact that you are worrying about it mrsn shows what a good mummy you are!!! I sometimes look at ds and think god they are so little and vulnerable and am I doing all the right things? But I'd say parenting is all about worrying and wanting the best for them!
I've nearly eaten All the crocodile cake! And DH bought some gorgeous chunky choc cookies from shop - 175 cals each!! X

Ameybee Fri 16-Nov-12 19:44:08

Marbles - glad its not just me who worries about the first having had your undivided attention!
Small - let me know how the troll crib goes! I wish I'd just bought one from the start - would've made night feeds so much easier! Xxx

missingmymarbles Fri 16-Nov-12 20:04:04

Parenting is definitely worrying and wanting the best for then, Amey! I think we all feel like crap mothers now and again. I guess the trick is lots of prayer, do the best you can, learn from experience and don't let the hard times rob you of the joy - I'll let you know when I've cracked it wink

DD1 has enjoyed her day at school but is glad it's the weekend. I'm so glad she's better. Missmarbles on the other hand... sad Her cough is worse and her nose is soo snotty. Poor little mite! She gave herself, and me, a right fright earlier when she couldn't clear her airway. I'm really worried about going to sleep tonight, although she is sounding quieter now. I put some olbas oil on a muslin and tied it to the cot, which I think has helped. I've just put her down. She vomited a big feed back again this evening, through coughing rather than vomiting. She looked so sorry for herself and has been really snuggly. She had a big nap this afternoon which she really needed but has been drowsy since then having intermittent lively spells (which is good). She has warm rosy cheeks but I don't think she has a temp. It was only borderline when I took it. She's had calpol. Sorry to offload but I'm quite worried about her. I wish she fitted in the crib/Moses. We might end up co-sleeping, but I have a gliding rocker and footstool in her room that's really comfy, so I might just sleep in it tonight.

MrsNPattz Fri 16-Nov-12 20:08:01

Well that's the tears started - you guys are so so kind. Thank you for understanding and giving your advice. Tea sorry you are feeling the same, but it's good to know I'm not alone. You hit the nail on the head there - I feel like I'm not so good at the interacting bit but yes hope I make up for it as he gets so many cuddles and kisses. Maybe it's my personality as I find interacting with anybody hard work lol and others do find it so easy. Hopefully baby sensory will help me open up a bit. Do you go to anything like that?

Welcome back heff smile

MrsNPattz Fri 16-Nov-12 20:09:17

Sorry little one is not well marbles, get well soon mini marbles!

funchum8am Fri 16-Nov-12 21:31:38

Have just got into bed with babyfunch in the troll by my side...it is lovely! Feel a bit tearful about how much I luff her actually [hormonal female emoticon] I am going to take a photo to commemorate her first night in her new bed...heff I wish I had listened to you and got it ages ago! Seems to be good and sturdy with brakes on and rolled up blankets on the gap between bed and mattress but may get cable ties out tomorrow! Also glad you are ok!

Babyfunch has done some quite big squirts of vomit in the past 24 hours - this is normal isn't it? One went about a foot in the air earlier. Dr Google is split between saying it is completely normal and saying it needs medical attention. But how can I get non urgent attention on a weekend? Do I go to a and e if it keeps happening tomorrow? Need to do some research....

Happy sleeps everyone...

Smicha Fri 16-Nov-12 21:44:07

Evening all! Second successful nigts of getting ds to sleep in his cotbed! He loves looking around and sleeping with his arms outstretched, so it's almost like he is relieved to be out of the carrycot and is rewarding us for the move by going to sleep! Probably won't last long, but it is a good start! He went down at 7.30 and has just woken for a feed.

Will write more later once I've caught up on the thread. Hope you're all having good nights... I've got a blackberry and apple crumble in the oven and dh is making some custard so I'm keen for this feed to be over soon so I can tuck in grin

HorridHeffalumpsWickedWoozles Fri 16-Nov-12 22:01:07

Still haven't caught up on the thread but just came on quickly to say funch you can call the Harmony clinic at Hillingdon hospital for weekend medical non emergencies, I've used them lots for DD1 who has a habit of developing conjunctivitis on a Saturday morning and they've always been helpful and given us an appointment.

Back later. Hope everyone's having a good evening smile

missingmymarbles Fri 16-Nov-12 22:15:54

Just why do they get sick on a weekend? Always leaves you wondering who you need to call. Will have to find someone for Minimarbles if she's no better.

blonderthanred Fri 16-Nov-12 22:33:23

The thought of DS getting ill makes me feel sick. Not just in a PFB sense but I feel like we're only just learning how to cope with the regular baby stuff, the idea of throwing coughs and sniffles in to the mix is a bit too much to contemplate. Bit paranoid at the mo as he's had his first couple of social outings and people say things like, oh I was going to visit but I've had this terrible cold (cue me doing dramatic dive between said germ-harbourer and DS's precious precious breathing passages).

Hoping that sounds vaguely normal for new mum...

MrsNPattz Fri 16-Nov-12 22:56:31

Totally, totally relate blonder!

missingmymarbles Fri 16-Nov-12 23:13:52

First feed since 7.30ish. Not bad given ages not so well, I think. Lets see how the rest if the night goes. Hope everyone else gets lots of shut-eye.

Totally normal, Blondergrin

funchum8am Fri 16-Nov-12 23:48:00

blonder I love the dive image!

First feed with new cot going great - so much easier than getting up (god I am lazy!)

Thanks for the tip about the clinic heff sounds like that is where we need to be going. Will try keeping her upright for longer after this feed and see if that helps at all.

missingmymarbles Sat 17-Nov-12 00:07:02

It's taken a while to settle though confused........

Ameybee Sat 17-Nov-12 01:48:49

See how you go fun but if you're worried take lo to see someone to put your mind at rest! Our DD always gets ill about 630pm on a Friday when there's no where to go!! I have to say I always err on side of caution with children, I never worry about whether I should take them or not. Our DD had recurrent cough/chest infections when she was 1 - one of our gp's told me to 'look on the Internet' instead of bringing her!' I pushed and took her to another gp - we ended up being referred and 2 years on she's under gastro and respiratory - she had a hiatus hernia with persistent silent reflux & ended up having an operation (i cried so much when she had general anaesthetic!) and going on medication both for reflux and persistent bacterial bronchitis which sorted everything! Just shows - mums do know best!!

Off downstairs for juice and prob another cookie!!!!

Hope everyone is getting sleep! Xxx

MummyV18 Sat 17-Nov-12 02:41:51

Sorry to hear about all the colds and poorly babies sad it was awful when baby J had a cold.

Well tonight a freaky thing happened ...

I woke up a bit confused as to which room I was in. I think I must have been dreaming that I was still baby J's room & I didn't remember coming back to bed. Well it took a few minutes to get my bearings. As soon as I knew where I was and had resettled myself baby J woke up!!!

My body has turned psychic to baby J!!!!

MrsNPattz Sat 17-Nov-12 02:49:40

First feed here after being settled twice by Ewan after transfer at 11. Seems quiet so hope everyone is getting lots of lovely zzzzzzzzs!

Was anyone's in buckets watching children in need? I don't know why I do it to myself - especially after how I was feeling yesterday. Little fella wore a Pudsey all in one yesterday - so so cute! Wish I could show you all the pics.

v lol at being psychic, hope it was an easy feed.

funch hope little one is doing ok and you haven't had any more sickies.

marbles hope your little one is doing ok too.

funchum8am Sat 17-Nov-12 03:39:29

I didn't see much of CIN as had an early night but nearly died of cringeyness at Ann Widdecombe!

mummyv being psychic will help as you will know when you need to feed or change baby without checking or waiting for cues or tears!

No more sick here so far.thank goodness, though lots of feeding. Must be the 6 week spurt.

amey you are right I need not to worry about it and just take her in. I will do if it happens again over the weekend. I cannot believe that gp got it so wrong in your case! Just goes to show we may have to trust our instincts to get what our children need.

MummyV18 Sat 17-Nov-12 03:59:27

No didn't watch CIN I missed it. Had to deal with baby J a lot & had a long call from best friend.

Unfortunately not an easy feed. Well he fed & went down but you could tell he was going to wake again coz was quite fidgety but I went back to bed anyway. He cried again once I got back to bed.

Thought I'd got past the psychic wakings but no. At least I didn't wake for no reason lol that would be worse confused

blonderthanred Sat 17-Nov-12 04:27:37

Quite a few of you have mentioned Ewan the Sheep - sounds like you have had good results?

DS finished his big evening feed a bit earlier tonight at 12ish and woke for another feed at 2.30. He then lay awake in his bednest for ages, eyes wide open and lots of little noises, but unfortunately became unsettled so I fed again.

DH desperately needs to sleep so I don't want DS to start crying again so am now feeding for a 3rd time. I'm sure it's just for comfort but am hoping he will drop off enough for the transfer.

This is my worst time of night, I lose rationality and it feels like none of us will ever get to sleep!

This thread is not accepting new messages.