I cant help it, I need you lot, dp died yesterday, I cant stop seeing it, it hurts so much

(1000 Posts)
TrinityRhino Sat 11-May-13 08:40:14

everything hurts, I cant close my eyes without seeing it happening
he collapsed at home
I did chest compressions till the ambulance came
they tried for ages but he was gone
I cant stop seeing it
my arms hurt, my heart hurts
I'm exhausted
I cant do this again

TrinityRhino Tue 14-May-13 09:00:36

girls are still sleeping
lolly has been out for a wee.
ive had a shower
im going to try and get my ring resized today.
think ill drive as well

AgathaF Tue 14-May-13 09:05:42

I'm so, so sorry for your loss Trinity - you've been through so much already, I can't believe you're here again.

I'm pleased you're wearing his ring - I bet he would be so proud too.

x

Mouseface Tue 14-May-13 09:37:10

Morning Trin smile

Sounds like a good day you have planned ahead, a few small steps.

Take your time and if you change your mid, then that's fine too, do what you feel up to and balls to the rest! grin

I think you are doing bloody brilliantly, I really do sweetheart.

Sending you all love and strength for today, you're all in my thoughts.

Mouse xx

Dysgu Tue 14-May-13 10:02:11

I only just saw this thread and had to check the date; it seems so wrong that you and your girls have to go through this again.

My thoughts are with you and your family. xx

TrinityRhino Tue 14-May-13 10:28:40

gecko is colouring next to me at the kitchen table
dd1 and 2 are turning on the xboxs

they have all helped out this morning with tidying around and bringing washing down
they are all dressed in clean clothes (will attempt baths and showers for them soon promise)
they had cake for breakfast but they've eaten so thats fine
lolly has had a wee and her breakfast
I've washed up and cleared down the kitchen

we have some music on
me and the girls have always danced together and belted out the songs together in the kitchen
the girls are choosing songs they love

I will need to drive into the big town about 25 mins drive away to sort my ring
I'm not sure if I will manage that today
my local jewellers says they would have to send it away so I've had to go further afield

Good morning Trin. I wish I had cake for breakfast.

Still thinking of you x

Charleymouse Tue 14-May-13 10:40:00

Good morning Trin.
Great idea to get them all to muck in and help and keep things normal even though you are having to find a new normal. Well done on getting everyone up, dressed and breakfasted. Hope you can get the ring sorted out today.

Take care love CM x

Tell me off for interfering, Trin, but i don't think you should attempt an hour's drive today, especially not with the lack of sleep.

<mither over>

I'm glad you are getting into a bit of a routine and everyday things are happening in your house again.

travellingwilbury Tue 14-May-13 10:49:50

Morning trinity , you sound like you and your girls are really pulling together .

Have you got any company today ?

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you .

TrinityRhino Tue 14-May-13 10:53:56

no its ok Beer, I've already decided not to do it for those reasons

its too much

Hopefully Laura will be able to come later on
his ex may manage to pop over to take the dog out for a proper walk for me

Yes, I thought the same BeerTricks, to perhaps leave adjusting the ring for another day ? Did I gather you have some gadget that could mean it's "good enough" for now Trin, and you are able to wear it ?

Well done getting the girls up and already settled to some colouring activities, and even a bit of singing and dancing.
Good for you Trin !

Oh lord trin sad So so sorry xxx

So shocked to hear this my lovely.

Jux Tue 14-May-13 11:01:56

Do you have a chain so that you could wear the ring on that? (I was immensely touched to find, when my brother died, that he wore my mum's wedding ring on a chain round his neck. She had died 6 weeks before him and had given him her ring only a week before that.) If you could do that, it might almost feel as if you were wearing it?

Hope you have a restful day, today. Eat cake, cuddle lots. xxx

TrinityRhino Tue 14-May-13 11:14:07

I'm wearing his chain too but its thick and silver and the ring is gold and delicate and I worried that it would damage the ring somehow

Juggling is right I have a ring gadget thingy (all thanks to purple) that means its wearable at the mo
I was just trying to get it properly sorted but there is no HUGE rush

maras2 Tue 14-May-13 11:28:38

Only just seen this, Trin.So very sorry for your loss.God bless you and your family and I hope that you can find some peace soon.You've always been one of my favourite posters and you sound such a lovely mum too.Will tack an extra prayer onto my evening Rosary if that's ok with you. Mx.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Tue 14-May-13 12:08:07

Hunkering down at home sounds much better than having to deal with traffic and parking.
You're all doing so well getting back to normality already.

Only just seen this post, I cannot believe this has happened again and am so so sorry. Thinking of you today. Sometimes doing the mundane day-to-day stuff helps to divert the mind away for a while. do whatever you need to do at your own pace, and know that we're all here whenever you need us.

Jules146 Tue 14-May-13 12:37:58

Sending warm thoughts and hugs for you and your gorgeous family xx

Mouseface Tue 14-May-13 12:41:01

Trin - The lovely Beer beat me to it re going further a field today to have the ring sorted, I agree it's too much too soon. I'm glad you're not going today.

I can almost 'see' you and the girls dancing around the kitchen with the music on, loud as you like lovely, loud as you like. Let it all out smile xx

Oh and BTW, cake for breakfast is my number one choice, well, as long as it's cheese cake! wink

Keep posting sweetheart, it really will help. But you know that already so I'll shut up for now, be back later to bother you and check in.

Big hugs to you all. xxxx

QueenOfCats Tue 14-May-13 12:43:22

So sorry for your loss x

LackaDAISYcal Tue 14-May-13 12:44:24

Oh Trin sad

Just seen this and am shocked and stunned that you are having to go through this again. You are strong though and will get through this. DP sounds like a lovely lovely man.

Much love to you and your gorgeous girls xx

BlueAndRedMakePurple Tue 14-May-13 12:45:42

Trinity I'm so sorry, Ive just seen this. I too had to date check, I've been on MN long enough to know snippets of your back story.

Sending hugs because that's all I'm able to do. xxx

Consils Tue 14-May-13 12:50:15

Trinity I am so sorry for your loss.
xx

MinnieBar Tue 14-May-13 12:52:43

I've only just seen this via the WoollyHugs link.

I'm so sorry. thanks

Nagoo Tue 14-May-13 13:15:22

I am so so sorry to hear this Trinity.

thanks

Thinking of you and your DDs.

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