'What the caterpillar perceives is the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning.' Our journey after Beatrice

(740 Posts)

Beatrice died on 24th October aged 1 year, 1 month, 1 week and 1 day. She was buried on 2nd November. As she starts her new life as a butterfly, we are left on the ground feeling bewildered and bereft. I read a short piece at her funeral, and I stand by it:

'I often felt that being Beatrice's mum was much like holding a butterfly. I was in awe of her beauty and felt so privileged that she had chosen to come to me. But, much like a butterfly, I knew that one day she would spread her wings and fly away.

When Beatrice was one day old, a kind stranger shared this poem with me, and it sums up how I feel about Beatrice:

"A butterfly lights besides us like a sunbeam. And for a brief moment its glory and beauty belongs to the world.
But then it flies once again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it."

I feel so lucky to have been chosen as Beatrice's mum and I truly believe that the immense grief we must now suffer is still a small price to play for the love she brought into our lives.

Goodnight Beatrice'

I still feel her love in my heart, but I am struggling without her in my arms. I miss caring for her and kissing her. Looking at her and stroking her hair. Singing to her, always singing so many songs. I haven't sung a song since she died, but I don't want the music to leave my life as it means I have let the grief win.

Fly high little butterfly, but please don't forget all of us left behind who hold you, still so fragile, in our hearts and memories. Please don't forget me, Beatrice x

That is such great news, congratulations to you all.

MrsKwazii Fri 11-Apr-14 16:53:10

Thinking of you all and hope that you are well. We've had so many butterflies in the garden this week and they always make me think of your words at the start of this thread, Bea and all of our children who have gone.

Lovethesea Fri 11-Apr-14 16:15:58

Congratulations on the pregnancy, praying for a peaceful arrival and settling in for you all.

Can't imagine the mixed emotions it must be bringing up, and will bring up. Hope you and DH and the rest of the teaset get plenty of support in RL as you adjust to being a family of four xx

fhdl34 Mon 31-Mar-14 07:44:19

How thoughtful of them, it shows they still think of her often as well x

The girls gave me a Mother's Day card and added Beatrice's name. That made me smile. I took some colourful gerberas to her grave and there was a little ladybird sat on the bench. I always think that Beatrice is nearby when I see a ladybird. So I sat down for a while and just thought about how different life would be now if she were still here. I can't even imagine it anymore.

pannetone Sat 22-Mar-14 16:41:16

So pleased to hear that Beatrice is going to be a big sister. Wishing many blessings for the whole Teaset; your lovely biggest girls with their big hearts and hopes, and for you and DH who must be experiencing such a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm sure Beatrice approves - she has already taught so many of us that 'a life full of love is a life worth living.' xx

Wonderful, wonderful news. Congratulations to you all x

ajandjjmum Sun 16-Mar-14 18:17:55

Happy for you and your family - and remembering Beatrice.

Jbck Sun 16-Mar-14 17:31:47

Oh Cup what lovely news, I wish you every happiness and all the Cup family.

PurpleAlert Sun 16-Mar-14 17:19:54

smileI have watched your threads and followed Bea's story ever since you first posted about her.

I am so happy for you, your DH and all the little teacups!

Congratulations!

ohmeohmyforgotlogin Thu 13-Mar-14 07:34:33

How lovely for you all. Very best wishes.

janey68 Thu 13-Mar-14 07:30:03

'No one is ever lost'
So true, and what a beautiful way to put it.
A new life is happy news... Understandably it will feel tinged with sadness in a way but I wish you peace and strength during the weeks ahead

saffronwblue Thu 13-Mar-14 05:30:36

Cup what big and beautiful news! There will be 4 children in the teaset.

Lily311 Thu 13-Mar-14 05:02:20

Omg cup, I am so very happy for you!!! Congratulations!

Rowgtfc72 Wed 12-Mar-14 18:42:02

Congratulations cup x

sassytheFIRST Wed 12-Mar-14 06:46:48

Cup, what wonderful, bittersweet news. Sending love to you all x

foofooyeah Wed 12-Mar-14 06:41:24

Oh cup, what beautiful news.

Wishing you and your lovely family all the very best.

Congratulations Cup I hope everything goes well with this pregnancy. Sending lots of love to you all xx

Almostfifty Tue 11-Mar-14 22:15:45

Oh Cup, that's lovely news. Congratulations.

SugarPlumpFairy3 Tue 11-Mar-14 22:12:16

Lovely, lovely news! Congratulations x

Trumpton Tue 11-Mar-14 20:01:27

Sending the tea set all my very best wishes x

MarnieMadden Tue 11-Mar-14 19:57:54

What wonderful news, I am so happy for you all x

fhdl34 Tue 11-Mar-14 19:51:55

What wonderful news, I'm so happy for you. I can understand your anxiety, it must be very scary but so far so good, just take one day at a time. Congratulations xx

Mmmnotsure Mon 10-Mar-14 23:34:32

Cup I remember Beatrice's story, and have just read through this thread.

Don't be terrified. You have so much love to give a baby, and I am sure that Beatrice knows this. You will be the mother of four children now. No one is ever lost.

HairyPotter Mon 10-Mar-14 23:17:05

What lovely news! Congratulations to you all.

I often think of beautiful Bea, she has a place in so many hearts here. xx

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