At the end of the day....You are the mummy, and you know what fits so to speak! if you don't think your baby is ready to be weaned then dont do it! simple as, and if the in laws don't like it then you just smile sweetly and say, well as I am with bubba all day I am grasping that they don't need to be weaned and as I am bubba mum, like you were with your children, we know whats best for them. Your man, should, by rights be understanding of this, and I think a quiet word with him, gently gently otherwise guys just dont get it!!

EVERY baby is different and some will be ready to be weaned earlier than others. To say that we should all wait until 6 months is past is niave, no offence to anyone, but that is like saying everyone should eat at 5 oclock in the evening, no later, no earlier. It just isn't right for everyone. You will know when as you are the mummy!

xxx

no worries I'll stick the link on here at some point 2moz when i get chance to get online probs wont be til 2moz night as I'm out all day, I'm offski to bed now night night girls

That's a really good idea Kazzi - link to the thread when you start it cause I block most of the topics in my Active Convos and probably won't see it unless you start it in Chat, AIBU, Weaning or Breast And Bottle Feeding!

LOL same apologies to the OP for the hijack, actually if I get chance 2moz I'll start this as a new thread to move it over if you want.

I'm a very strong believer in keeping your identity as a person after you have a baby, its easy to get stuck in a rut if you don't, personally I find that having that short break from being a mum makes you a happier person, happier person equals happy mummy and happy mummy equals happy child.

At the risk of totally derailing the thread (and apologies to the OP for the hijack) I do feel that the going back to work thing was, for me and mine, absolutely the right decision. I only work 3 days a week (well, not at the moment, cause I'm on mat leave!) so 3 days out of the week I got to be somebody other than "Mama" and the other 2 days ds got a functional, reasonable human being who could actually interact with him and play with him.

I don't feel guilty for going back to work, just that I couldn't earn enough for him to have a nanny!

Dunno Alestorm maybe its coz I'm just a very laid back person (same reason for the tough skinnedness) lifes too short to feel guilty do what you've gotta do, feeling guilty won't get you anywhere in life IMO anyway, suppose its just a lesson aI've learnt long the way......sorry to repeat myself but good old life experience

Is there a parent alive who doesn't feel guilty at least once a day.

Tis law isn't it?

What is this crazy 'textbook mum' stuff? Kazzi, you are obsessed!!!

I think calpol given anytime that isn't an emergency is just bloody lazy!!
Babies let you know when they need weaning...as duchesse says... in my experience it can be anything between 4-7 months.

Where I'm concerned, the took the placenta out and then inserted the guilt!

I was wondering the reasons against group childcare under 3.

As I said theres pros and cons to everything in life, you're doing it for a genuine reason you're not just dumping your child on someone because you don't want to spend time with him, you're leaving him with someone trustworthy and as previously said in a stimulating environment where he will learn good social skills from an early age.

As long as you enjoy the time you spend with your son when you're with him (in a quality rather than quantity type of way) then your ds will probably benefit from that time away from you, don't ever feel guilty for making the best choice for your family (and by the sounds of it a choice you've thought long and hard about) good luck hope it goes well

But without the myriad typos

Um.

Yeah.

What she said.

There are lots of different types of research all saying different things about daycare under 3. What specifically are you looking for?
Anyway, thats a much less cut and dried topic than early weaning, in which the available evidence all suggests is a bad thing. There is no real dissent on the issue unlike the childcare question.

Its interesting to note that a lot of the qouted outcomes for group childcare <3 is based on US research, which is characterised by low quality childcare settings, much earlier start ages, lower rates or maternal leave and other detrimental factors. When you look at UK and Swedish research (see Anderssons seminal 1990 study) based on much higher quality better regulated settings, later attendance age, longer maternity leave etc etc, the outcomes are far more positive. But then its easy to spin research, they key is to know how to interpret the available information.

I'm very tough skinned Alestorm, theres reasons for this that I wont go into, I strongly believe that theres pro's and cons to everything in life, this is why (and I'm not for one minute calling you a textbook mum) but this is why I refuse to believe research if it gets you to a point where you feel guilty about things you have to do in life, you might have this evidence based research about early group childcare but a few months down the line there will probably be more evidence based research saying children who attend nursery from a younger age do better than other children later in life etc. Thats why I would rather do what I thinks best, by all means take research into consideration if it makes you feel better but weigh up the pros and cons.....just out of interest (this is a genuine question, probably more suited to another topic but what the heck I'm chatting to you on here) what does the research say will happen to children who attend group daycare under the age of 3?

Interesting.

I must say, Kazzi, I do sort of admire your ability to just ignore or disbelieve solid, peer reviewed, evidence based research. My problem is that I can't just ignore the facts and the evidence upon which those facts are based, so yes, on one hand I do feel a bit guilty about putting ds in a nursery at 13 months but OTOH it was me going back to work part time or me going completely bugfuck staying at home with him all day!

Sheesh - have you ever tried baby rice? I have, and it's vile. Like eating wallpaper paste. I chucked it away and gave ds a pitta bread, happy baby, happy mama! Although, his first actual food was spaghetti bolognese, when he was about 8 months old!

LCRNK - just wanted to point out that there is no need to offer baby rice first if you wait until they are sitting up and using pincer grip (usually around 6 months) you can give them pretty much anything, they can hold it themselves and get it to their own mouths. You don't have to feed them which has the bonus of them being able to eat while you eat and not having to feed them separately.

You will know when your baby is ready to go on to baby rice etc. Every baby has different needs at different times. Go by your own instinct cos mum normal knows best ;)

Yeh I remember the rest of that post about early childcare not sure if you read my reply, its a shame if you end up feeling guilty about putting your baby in a nursery and again I personally wouldn't believe the research on that one, on the bright side your baby will be in a stimulating learning environment and will hopefully develop good social skills from being around other children at an early age (am I allowed to mention the fact my 8 year old attended nursery from 13 months and is now very bright and sociable after all I wouldnt want people thinking he's ok now after attending nursery early but will be traumered in later life)

Anyway will be honest I was annoyed at that post and the time of it but thanks for clearing it up

<<yawns>>

Just as a point of interest, Kazzi, it was me who said this: "The research is there - and i understand that you don't want to read it or accept it because who wants to read that what they did could have caused their children harm?"

The key words there, dear, are could and have. Could have caused their child harm. I'm not saying in any way that early weaning will definitely cause your child to shrivel up and die at the precise age of 35. I'm saying that early weaning can be dangerous - look at mamadiva's excellent post further down (or did you ignore that too? )

And - FWIW - in that earlier post, I went on to say that I do understand how hard it is to realise that you may have cocked up parenting, because I don't like reading the (well-documented and peer reviewed) evidence that group childcare before 3 is not a brilliant idea. Let's face it, we're all just muddling along at this parenting lark (well, except you, cause you got your instincts ) and the more facts and research that we can get to help us the better! Of course, observing your baby and watching them for signs that they're ready to wean helps too.

Hi Showofhands, I've already said why I posted because I have experience of what the OP was asking if she should do, quite simple. I'm cool about you copying and pasting what I wrote because you did it to make a valid point rather than just pick an argument, I have more respect for someone who does that than certain others who just pick at something someone says for the sake of it.

I stand by what I said in my first post, that the OP should do what she believes is right for her baby and from her post she obviously doesnt feel comfortable with the thought of weaning a 3 and a half month old and she shouldnt feel pressured into it because other people say so.....I've said that all along and still stand by it.

Anyway I appreciate you putting it across in a friendly way, makes me more willing to read and acknowledge what you say than others who just rant and copy and paste links.

Oh and Proverbial, get over this "last word" bollocks, obviously people are gonna post after me and I dont need your approval if I want to reply, no ones forcing you to read my posts, you dont like it simply dont read it and dont reply to it!

Oh dear Kazzi, oh dear oh dear. I think it's time to do as you keep promising and stay away. You are tying yourself in knots, contradicting yourself and making yourself look a little bit silly in the process.

I only came back to this to point out in a friendly way that the reason we engaged with you and your posts was because of the incorrect things you state and the danger that you could be seen as endorsing early weaning. Yes, you claim to only be sharing your opinion and not advising but can I refer you to your first post on this thread:

"It all depends on whether you yourself think 3 and a half months is too early to wean your baby onto solids. Nobody knows your baby better than you do".

Sounds a lot like advice to me. And yes, I c+p'ed your words, not because I'm obsessed with you and want to have your babies though it's lovely you think it's all about you, it's a way of showing we've read what you wrote and we are engaging with it. Instead of, you know, random spouting.

And you seemed to imply that I and others, thought that the gut seals on the day a baby turns 6 months. Please re-read. I said that you look at your baby and their development- are they sitting? do they have a pincer grasp? have they lost the tongue thrust reflex?- and you are led by this. The guidelines are around 6 months as this is when these developmental signs are shown. Does it not appeal to you, observing your baby for its own developmental cues and responding them? I thought that was what you were advocating, responding to your own individual baby? Isn't that what we're all advocating.

Please desist in setting up this dichotomy between textbook parents and instinctive parents. I don't own a parenting textbook, I've never read them. I do, however, make it my business to be aware of current safe practice and to understand the research behind it.

You say you're not interested and you don't care about weaning. Why post? Why not go and look at another thread where you are interested and willing to learn and/or engage with others.

I'm going to stick to the OP here but I am also going to bleat on about my own situation so bare with me there is a point to this...

IMO best to wait until atleast 6 months but if she is not interested then don't worry about it AFAIK there is no deadline (within reason obviously) so tell your In laws thank you for their advice but you are going to stick with current guidelines of 6 months as you believe this is what i best for your DD and yourself. It's nothing to do with them!

Anyway yes back to me.

When my DS was 10 weeks old he started to drop feeds here and there and eventually was taking about 15oz a day which is obviously not enough and it was a dramatic drop for him, I contacted the HV several times each time being told he's just bored with milk try him with some other foods so ofcourse I thoght well she is an experienced medical practitioner so I will go with it. When he was 13 weeks old I was told to give him 2/3 teaspoons of baby rice mixed in with fruit puree for brekkie and a puree in the evening to make him sleep (he was an awful sleeper)!

He was obviously not ready because we had constipation, constant vomitting and I'm pretty sure he never swallowed any food due to his gag reflex! After reporting all of this to the HV she said that I was just a worrier and it was either that or he starved.

He's now 3 is still and awful sleeper, a really fussy eater and hates anything lumpy. I am lucky if he eats 2 meals a day never mind 3 and I blame all of this on early weaning so please let your baby show you when she's ready. I'm not saying the odd bit of whatever will do her any harm but don't push her and definately do not let anyone else bully you into it!!!

Aorry for going on just thought I'd share

Another long post all about you.

You do realise that the main point of these forums is advice, do you? So your answer on every thread "everyone should do what they think" is at best unhelpful, but more precisely fatuous and dull. And badly spelled. And annoying.

And you're not getting the last word, no matter how much you ramble on (and I'm sure you can come up with several more posts "all about yourself")

LOL and funnily enough all other people such as yourself and a couple of others on here write is kazzi this kazzi that ooooo lets copy and paste the majority of Kazzi's posts and pick arguments with absolutely everything Kazzi says just for the sake of it(aint that right Hor), lets tell kazzi we dont care what she did (still cant work out why people who arent interested would spend so much time even mentioning my name) so really I don't think its me who should get over myself I think its others who need to chill, but on that subject why should anyone think any less of themselves just because some bitter person on mumsnet says so. Lets say anything we can in an attempt to put Kazzi down (doesnt work girls but keep trying if it makes you happy).

And yeh KAZZI does know whats best for her family, I think you (amongst others) are the ones displaying ignorance in not acknowledging the fact I've constantly said I'm not advising it for anyone else. I'm advising people to do things THEIR way just because something was right for me doesnt mean its right for others, people are perfectly capable of working out what works for them. I put this to bed long time ago, its others carrying it on I've gotta be honest its just amusing me now that people can't get over it and keep putting my name in their posts, by all means keep posting your advice for others I've not once rubbished anyone elses posts coz I'm open minded enough to accept more than one way works for people. Shame others can't open their minds a bit more but thats their choice (and funnily enough out in the real world plenty of people successfully wean their babies between 4-6 months)

FWIW (and I have already said this) I think the OP should stick to her guns, she obvs doesnt think now is the right time to start weaning and she should tell her family to keep their noses out.

People act like they know stuff because they read it in a book? How dare they go and learn some facts, surely kazzi and her homespun wisdom knows best?

Heres a hint, nobody cares what you did. They are merely pointing out that anyone who wants some real advice shouldn't listen to you.
And you really need to get the hell over yourself, you are precious in the extreme. All you write is me me I I me me.

Whoops sorry I made the same mistake in a previous post I thought thats what you were refferring to LOL *hand shakes on that one*

I dont mind people challenging what I say, tbh I see it from both sides I'm open minded enough to accept other peoples views and I'm not for one minute disputing what the WHO guidelines are, I think its a shame that people haven't been more respectful of my right to have a different view (and you can't deny people have deliberately pulled apart things in my posts to pick at, things that arent even to do with the topic such as use of smileys etc)

I don't understand the problem (although I'm sure someone will tell me) that people have with the fact I weaned my children earlier at a time when the guidelines were earlier, I don't see how thats anyones business, I understand the points people make regarding the changes in guidelines, just because I dont agree with all the points people make doesnt mean I'm being ignorant or disputing anything, just means I make my own decisions on things as everyone else has done on here.

Anyway really am buggering off to bed now lol take care ppl

How can it be petty to point out my own mistake?

Yes you do have the right to post on here, but people also have the right to challenge what you post, which you seem to be disputing.

<follows own advice and steps away>

bloody hell, just read this thread and realised i'm never going to get that 10 minutes of my life back!

OP - I weaned dd1 around 6 months once she was sitting up and had pincer grip etc (she was breastfed). She didn't really eat more than a couple of mouthfuls per meal until she was around 1 year old and now will eat absolutely anything (she's just 3)
dd2 is 5 months and until she's sitting up picking up food for herself she will be exclusively breastfed. I'm lucky cos my family have always supported my feeding choices and I would definitely agree with the poster who said nod, smile and ignore the bad advice!

Anyway nighty night everyone sleep well xxxxx

I dont hate this forum at all nor do I hate anyone on here, people say I make this topic about me but tbh its the people that keep replying to my posts that make it about me, you could just find someone else to ask questions to I'm not forcing people to keep replying they do so of THEIR own free choice (nice one for spotting the mistake btw, personally I spot plenty on here but think pointing it out is very petty) I came back on before being friendly, and as people keep pointing out it is a public forum therefore like the rest of you I have every right to post on here.

I'm not here to make friends or enemies just to put my point of view across like everyone else, if you don't like my posts thats cool I'm not gonna stop being outspoken just because someone doesn't like me or what I have to say.

There? Their - tsk.

Horton step away - everyone has done there best but some people just have to have the last word.

It seems Kazzi hates this forum so i'm assuming that she won't stick around long.

I would read back if I could be bothered but tbh I can't be arsed, I didnt realise it was the law to answer EVERYTHING directed at me (and face it theres been a lot), unlucky if someone asked a question that didnt get answered.

I answered the particular question you asked, just because it wasnt the answer you wanted doesnt mean I ignored it.

If you choose to give your baby more milk I'm not gonna question that your perfectly entitled to do what you feels best for your baby, as I'm perfectly entitled to do what I feel is best for my children and every other person posting on here is entitled to the same.

(LOL Kaz clicks "post" wondering which part of this post is gonna be copied and pasted into the next one )

"Not sure what you said that I've ignored perhaps you'd like to enlighten me"

How about the calorie content of milk versus weaning foods, for starters? But if you want more, read back and you'll see that you've ignored a lot of good points that people have made.

"Obviously milk isnt gonna keep satisfying them and they get to a point where they need something a little more"

So, if you thought your baby was hungry, would you give him or her

a) milk which is high in calories, fat and other essential nutrients

or

b) some puréed carrot or rice which is very low in fat and calories compared to milk?

Come on, it's not rocket science, is it?

Not sure what you said that I've ignored perhaps you'd like to enlighten me

Obviously milk isnt gonna keep satisfying them and they get to a point where they need something a little more, yeh I'm not particularly a fan of textbook parents, they generally act like know it alls just coz they read something in a book.....just my view from speaking to them in the big wide real world.

Why do you keep ignoring and twisting what people say? Who has suggested that anyone here needs to rely on any kind of textbook to be a parent? Looking at your profile, you seem to have a bit of a bee in your bonnet about it.

As for a hungry baby who has drunk all their milk, well, you know, I haven't consulted a book or anything but would more milk maybe be an idea to try?

Funnily enough Horton, I've been searching this online tonight I've not yet once come across anything mentioning the babys gut sealing. Totally agree that if a baby is constantly hungry milk should be given first.....the baby drinks all of the milk and is still hungry then what?

Correct about Showofhands's info being of relevance to other people, I don't recall saying it wasnt, just not relevant to me, I trust thats ok with you?

And yes I agree re the comment about checking guidlines on weaning........hence why I have always taken them into consideration when thinking about weaning my children. But todays guidelines could tomorrow be contradicted by something different, and again the day after and so on.......hence why living in a textbook world isnt a great idea, I dont have a problem if you need to rely on a book to tell you how to be a parent, just I don't thats all.

"being hungry and not having your needs satisfied can't be very nice"

No, it can't be. But given that volume for volume, milk has a lot more calories in it than rice or vegetables, what would you suggest someone feeds a hungry baby?

As for many of your other points, you continue to fail to engage with the very reasonably made points that others have raised time and again.

"I've only got your word for it that a baby is only ready for weaning when the gut seals"

You have our word and a large body of properly reviewed independent research. On the other hand, we have only your word for it and a sample size of two that your children are fine on early weaning. Would you say that a sample size of thousands or a sample size of two is a better way to carry out scientific research?

"The real world is IMO the best place to gain life experience not a textbook, website etc."

Nobody is suggesting that you or anyone should tackle every aspect of parenting with a book, merely that perhaps it is wise to look at what the guidelines are now and why before doing anything drastic and irreversible like weaning your baby.

And while the facts stated above may not be relevant to your life, they are directly relevant to the life of the baby of the OP and others who may be reading this. It would be irresponsible not to point out that you appear to be basing your recommendations on nothing more than gut feeling rather than actual facts.

Slightly different point which I don't think has yet been raised (and I dont think anyone can argue with) is premature babies, when thinking about weaning its important to take their age from their due date and not the actual day they were born for example if your 20 week old baby was born 8 weeks early at 32 weeks then for this purpose you should class your baby as being 12 weeks old.

Too much going round in circles has gone on in this thread but I feel its important to put that in just incase there are any mums of premature babies reading this, and I do feel that because I agree with the 4-6 months guidelines that I should point that out just in case any mums are considering weaning a prem baby between 4-6 months.

Hi Showofhands. Its not so much that I don't understand, its just that I'm not interested (and I'm being polite and friendly before anyone accuses me of aggression )

My children are long past the weaning stage now so I really don't find your facts.....accurate or not, slightly relevant to my life. As people are quick to point out this is a public forum, the OP asked about weaning at 3 and a half months and as I weaned 2 of my children at around 14 weeks I felt it was appropriate to reply, I know people will disagree with this and thats fair enough but I'm talking from experience I'm not copying and pasting something straight from a website.

I've never been a textbook mum and I never will be, if we all based our parenting styles on what the book says then we wouldnt know whether we were coming or going......thats down to every aspect of parenting not just weaning. Different research is carried out on a daily basis and this is constantly contradicting previous research. The real world is IMO the best place to gain life experience not a textbook, website etc.

I've only got your word for it that a baby is only ready for weaning when the gut seals which apparantly happens the very day they turn 6 months......for all people on this thread know that could just be something you've made up to get your point across. Fair enough if its true then you're putting a good point across, I personally disagree that there can be harm in not waiting to wean as long as the parent feels their baby is ready, being hungry and not having your needs satisfied can't be very nice, thats my view and I'm not going to change that no matter how many links people copy and paste onto here, it would be nice if my view was respected even if not agreed with but then again it aint necessary.
And of course there have been posts about my children not being healthy, can't remember who but someone made a comment along the lines of "I understand you dont want to listen, no one does when they've done something to harm their children" not one person on this discussion topic would sit and take a comment like that being made about their children and I won't either, if any comment made me defensive about the fact my children ARE and will continue to be fine its that one. Look no further than Baby P's mum if you want an example of people who harm children, not someone who acted within guidelines that were right at the time (and that many health professionals in the UK still agree with)

It is not useful to make comparisons to a child being poorly. I fully agree that instinct can tell you your child is more unwell than just having a simple cold and thank God there are tests available on the good ol' NHS that can investigate for you. All GPs are aware of a mother's instinct.

There is no test, short of putting a camera down your child's throat, to tell you their gut can cope with anything more than milk. Which is why you wait until 6 months when you can be fairly sure your child is ready and they are displaying outward signs of that maturation.

There is no harm in waiting until 6 months. There can be harm in not waiting. That's the bottom line.

Kazzi, I see that you are not going to understand the point that has been made to you numerous times about the dichotomy between instinct and biology.

I must stress that I come to this debate as a lentil-weaving, instinct-following hippy.

We know what instinct is, what we are trying to explain is knowing your child better than anybody else and having that powerful bond unfortunately does not bestow xray vision upon you.

A child is ready for weaning when their gut seals. You cannot know through instinct that this has happened. You can only observe the outward signs that mirror inner development.

I will allow that instinct can tell you your child is hungry but since milk has far more calories than any tiny amounts of solids, then hunger is met first with milk.

Please do not believe that a single poster on here is implying your child will be ill at 35. The point is, precisely, that it's not possible to make sweeping generalisations and as parents we all hope that your children continue to be healthy.

What you must be aware of is that this is a public forum. When you make a comment it's not part of a discussion between you and the OP and in important areas such as child health, it is important to pick up on things people have said. When somebody asks a question on here and you reply 'oh I did x and my children are fine' you endorse that action. Furthermore, when you make statements about it being backed up by health professionals, you add further credibility to your statements. It is important that other posters are able to point out where your personal experience separates from research/facts. I do hope you can see this.

Hi ladies, just wanna clear a few things up (in a friendly way) I apologise if some of you have read my posts in the wrong tone, being ill and tired over the weekend I probably havent got my views across in the best way I can.

Tiktok is right, the guidelines have never been 4 months but were 4-6 months before it changed to 6 months. I also found some medical sites online which I will post on here when I get chance that state that even though the UK now follow the world guidelines of 6 months, health professionals recognise that this does in fact include conditions in third world countries and that many still support the 4-6 months guidelines previously in place, if thats something your health visitor supports and you dont agree then take it up with her (or him)

Stealth I think theres just been a case of crossed wires where people have wrongly taken my posts as being aggressive and I've wrongly taken other posts as being aggressive which has blown the whole thing out of proportion.....on all parts. And in my defence the fact people have literally taken anything they can in my posts to pick at (even down to the amount of I use) shows that people have come on here with nothing to say other than pick at my posts, anyway thats done now I'm not gonna carry it on if others want to then its their choice.I do think I have the right to be annoyed at people telling me my children aren't gonna be ok at the age of 35 when there is no evidence to suggest that weaning at 14 weeks is solely to blame for health problems later in life (also taking into account the fact my babies were all 2 weeks overdue so had they been born on their due dates they would have been 16 weeks when weaned). My children eat a good healthy balanced diet and thats something I take very seriously and to me thats the best way any parent can prevent such problems.

In answer to the question about mums instinct, say your baby was ill and displayed symptoms of a common cold but you had a niggling feeling it was something more, you can't see inside their bodies to prove its something more but deep down your instinct tells you that your right. Thats the best way I can describe instinct, that you as a mum know your child best because you spend the most time with them.

Blimey, I can't believe this scrap is still going on

Tiktok the voice of reason as ever !

Kazzi you come back with accusations and if we respond you say to stop bullying you and that we need to drop it! What's the point in posting if you want to be ignored...think you just want the last word, well sorry. If your comments are aimed at me then I will respond and I will stick up for myself.

That quote of mine that you put further down the was in a response to someone asking *where people were getting aggressive towards you. So iut's perfectly reasonable to assume you saw that as an example of aggressiveness. Now you're saying we're mixing up asseriveness and agressiveness . Love the backtracking when you're wrong.

Very revealing thread.

OP - you have just seen, in practice, an example of how jumpy people get when what they did with their children is questioned...how aggressive and defensive they are, and how they challenge other people's viewpoints and questioning with a sneery 'what would you know about it?' sort of approach, which is very unpleasant.

This is, more or less, what's happening with you and your family. They weaned early, and see nothing wrong, and justify it by asserting that only they can know what is right for their children...which is only correct up to a point!

It's bizarre your dh is being pestered about it by his family and at work!

The guidelines have never been 4 mths, BTW. They were 4-6 mths until 6 years ago, when they changed to 6 mths, so not really a big change. In practice, HVs used to interpret 4-6 mths as 4 mths or even 16 weeks, which was always incorrect as a guideline. In very rare instances it may have been appropriate for individual babies.

I'm not upset......however if those comments were aimed at someone a little more sensitive just for sharing life experience (not something they read in a textbook) then they might be upset, if your all so interested in me then carry on, I just feel its a waste when theres a discussion topic to be talked about.

Oh and whoever said they are angry because I keep saying my children are fine (apparantly I'm not allowed to say the truth coz it might not be the case in 25 years.....just like the guidelines for weaning might not be the same in 25 years), anyway I'm pleased that person is angry, why? coz if the only thing in life you have to be angry about is the fact that someones children are healthy then you should count yourself very very lucky.

Over and out ladies.....have fun

Have to have the last word do you? Not surprising, since you've tried to make the thread all about yourself. Yawn.

LOL

If you are so upset and feel "bullied" why don't you just leave it alone and go away? Its not hard, close the screen down, they can't chase you home, those nasty "cyber bullies"

You can't tell people how to respond to you on an open forum, it doesn't work like that. Either get the hell over yourself or go away. Or carry on whinging like a spoilt child, whatever.

Hercules, how many times since the post where I asked people to leave me alone have people directed comments at me even though I asked them not to? Make your mind up about whether or not its cyber bullying but personally I think it is, naturally I dont expect any of the people ganging up to agree, but I really wish people could stop being so petty and get back to the original post and stop feeling the need to direct comments at me when I've clearly stated that I've said all I want to say regarding early weaning.

I'm sure its not much to ask that people stop questionning and directing petty little comments at me and get back to the original topic, but it aint my fault if (as you've all proved) you aint adult enough to do that.

cyberbullying -oh purlease.

People are coming back because you keep saying you are being bullied.

That's ridiculous.

Green Monkies (and I'm putting this a cross in a nice way) I understand why you feel guidelines are important but I'm just not a text book mum, I prefer to learn out in the real world its where you get the best experience.

oh look more people jumping on the ganging up bandwagon......why cant you all get back to the OP.....why is that so hard for people to do, I'm outta here lol, happy discussions

Oh and for the record the smiles are coz I'm a cheery person, try smiling.....its free and it can actually be quite contagious

I wont be having any more children Green Monkies, not sure why this question has been directed at me (proof that people on here cant drop the cyber bullying) as its nothing to do with the OP but its a fair question so I'll answer it. I'm presuming you havent read any of my previous posts about how I weaned my 4 yr old in 2005 so I'll (as always) repeat myself

My 4 yr old was weaned at 5 months as thats the time I believed she was ready to be weaned, nothing to do with the guidelines but my choice as a mum.

Hope thats a satisfactory answer to your question

Kazzi peppering your posts with doesn't make you any less aggressive.

Stealth you've not been aggressive at all.

Kazzi if you had another baby now would you start solids at 14/20 weeks or wait until closer to 6 months as per the new guidelines?

I understand you followed the guidelines that were current at the time (pre-2003) and as far as I'm concerned the difference between 14 weeks and 16 weeks is negligible, just like the difference between 23 weeks and 26 weeks, I prefer to go with the LLL figure of "around the middle of the first year" ie, roughly 6 months, not bob-on 26 weeks exactly!

What's annoying everyone me is the way you keep saying "it hasn't done them any harm", when the truth is you don't know if it has or hasn't yet. There is no need to justify what you did based on the guidelines and HV advice at the time, but you seem to be saying that you still think it's an ok age to give solids, instead of saying it was what was advised at the time, but maybe not what you would do now. Do you follow me??

Right I'm not being funny people but dont u think its time to get over it and leave me alone, Greensleeves wherever you are???? Greensleeves has said I'm making these topics about me, nope its people that can't let something go that are making this topic about me, I've already asked you all to get off my case and get back to the original topic but you all seem to think ganging up is more appropriate (go on tell me I'm wrong about that as well but all your recent posts prove it) Stop getting confused between aggression and assertiveness, maybe you have ranting aggressive minds which is why your reading my posts in the wrong way, its a very very sad world when a mum cant even share her experiences on the net without the nasty cyber bullying I've had in return. Oh well I'm over it so I'll leave you.....ahem....."mature".....adults to get back to the original topic if you can actually find it in you to stop talking about me

Toodles xxxxxxxxxx

"its back to the old should I stop my child from playing sport if theres a risk he could break his leg?"

No. It's much more like should I actively force my child to play a sport that his body isn't mature enogh to cope with in the knowledge that he might break his leg permanently?

I don't think you were at all aggressive, StealthPolarBear. The only person who's been aggressive is Kazzi.

Do you know what I think I'd better leave this. I don't appreciate being called aggressive or people twisting my words to say I've said the opposite of what I actually said. I'm trying to be calm here but I'm actually fuming and shaking.

No, you don't need to explain anything Kazzi, but if you don't answer our questions we're entitled to think you're misguided.

demanding I explain myself!

How is that demanding you explain yourself. We asked a straightforward question a few times (the one about instinct and gut readiness) , you didn't answer, so I agreed you don't have to answer anything but if you can't argue your side of the case then we will make our own assumptions about that

Don't like being accused of saying things I haven't said, especially as an example of aggressiveness. I have not been aggressive and I'm annoyed that people are saying I have been.

Kazzi - nobody jumped on you like a child abuser and noone said your children arent okay. You are exaggerating and making out people like me are something we are not.

Sorry ignore the typo comment I read something wrong

Fair point......but its back to the old should I stop my child from playing sport if theres a risk he could break his leg? Theres a risk with everything in life.

I posted on the thread as the op asked if weaning at 3 and a half months was too early, I was giving my own personal experiences and at the same time told her to do what she believes is right and to consult a healh professional if necessary, i wasnt to know people were gonna jump down my throat as if I'm a child abuser, its not for people who've never met my children to tell me that they can't be ok because I did something that the WHO no longer advise.

Im sure there are many people in later life who have certain problems but my personal view is that the age of weaning isnt 100% to blame for the problem.

I think the point is that the later health problems are something where early weaning is a contributory factor for them showing up at some point. So IBS, intolerances, allergies etc are all just more likely if a child has been weaned early. It might very well be that the child won't have any of those problems but why on earth would you take the chance if you know that it could cause illness?

Also, I have no idea what you mean about a typo. Is that directed at me?

If you think that your family is none of our business (which ultimately it isn't, and, you know, good luck to you) why on earth post on a thread and offer your experience? You can't expect people to ignore what you've said if they think that it could be dangerous.

Apologies for making a typo....point proved about people picking at things that arent important!

Just one question, those with health problems later on? How can anyone prove thats down to the age they were weaned? There could be a number of contributory factors such as lifestyle, continued poor diet etc, has anyone ever proved that early weaning is the sole cause? Because I doubt very much that they have.

Also, the size of a baby has absolutely nothing to do with how ready it is for food that is not milk. You keep saying your kids were on above average percentiles as though that makes them somehow older than they really were. It doesn't. It just makes them bigger.

I had some dreadful experiences with HVs personally so I wouldn't trust their advice about anything any more!

Anyway, I don't want to get shouty myself so I think I will go and do something else for a while!

I think people are just arguing with your assertion that you can tell if they're ready for solid food by instinct. Unfortunately, you can't. There are several clear indicators of a baby being ready for solid food but I'd be pretty astounded if a three month old was displaying most of them, particularly the thing about sitting up unaided.

As for all the children you know being fine, I am delighted that that's the case. But unfortunately, the kinds of health problems that are related to early weaning can sometimes show up a lot later on, as I understand it. Happy to be corrected if this is wrong!

Yeh mummiesnet they do....but they didnt with me

yeh me and every other mum at that time Horton, all the children I know my childrens age are fine, anything else?
And I think anyone would come across as shouty if people were constantly making criticisms of something thats none of their business (eg my family!)

Green Monkies the guidelines at the time (as stated many times) was 4 months, my children were on all the above average growth charts in their little books and myself and my health visitor.....knowing that the guidelines were 4 months decided that around 14 weeks would be ok (which it has proved to be for my children)

No i didnt put them to sleep on their stomachs or any of the other things, not that its really anyones business, my mind isnt closed I accept that new guidelines are in place now, I havent chanted anything but yet again I'm having to point out that I tell people to seek advice from a health professional????? So what exactly have I done wrong? I did something that was right at the time, no harm done (and I doubt very much there will be), I've said that I wouldnt tell anyone this is the right or wrong thing to do people are quite capable of making up their own minds on that one, I've said constantly that new guidelines are in place and have encouraged mums to do what they believe is right and if they're unsure then to seek professional advice.......so wtf is everyone constantly going on at me for? Answer the original poster and piss off and leave me alone coz I'm getting seriously hacked off with people asking the same shit over and over!

"However, if an
infant is showing signs of being ready to start solid foods before six months, for example, sitting up, taking an interest in what the rest of the family is eating, picking up, and tasting finger foods then they should be encouraged."

Heh. This would be DD. She liberated a Jaffa Cake from a packet (unnoticed by me) at about five months and had taken a huge bite before I realised what she was up to. At that point, I decided some rusks, veg and fruit might be better weaning foods than biscuits.

And Kazzi, you do sound a bit shouty and aggressive, tbh. Nobody else is coming across that way. I understand that it must be very very hard to feel that you may have done the wrong thing unknowingly but nobody is saying that people were wrong to follow the guidelines of the time, whatever they were, just that current research may have discovered a few new things in the past ten years. However, even ten years ago, weren't they advising weaning at four months rather than three? Did you just decide to ignore the guidelines then, too? Or didn't you know?

I know someone who was fed from birth on cows milk, topped up with boiling water and lots of sugar. He's over seventy and in rude health. Despite the fact that he has evidently thrived, I don't think anyone would recommend it as an infant feeding regime these days.

Cherry hope you are ok and still with us.....personally i think this is turning into one of the relationship therads about inlaws and DH not sticking up for you!

At the end of the day f you ahve decided to do something then let them think what they like, as long as your no hurting your baby its up to you to bring them up however you see fit.

I'm glad you agree that health visitors can and do give out dangerous advice

yeh u did misinterprete that post but its cool I accept your apology

That was aimed to point out that the media twist stories (any story) to suit themselves and sell extra copies they say what readers want to hear even if its not necessarily the true facts, I know this first hand from the death of a close family member last year and the media wrote many stories which were untrue but only gave a pathetic apology by email 5 weeks later.

Happy to clear up any confusion regarding that post

Kazzi, 10 years ago the weaning advice was very different, so your HV was probably not that far off the "current" guidelines at the time.

But the guidelines have changed, and changed for a reason.

7.2 Infants are usually able to take soft pureed foods from a spoon, form a bolus and swallow it at about five months. However, it is not until about six months that infants actively spoon-feed with the upper lip moving down to clean the spoon, chew, use the tongue to move the food from the front to the back of the mouth, are curious about other tastes and textures and develop their eye-hand co-ordination. By six months, an infant can have finger foods. The older the baby, the more readily they will accept a varied diet of texture, taste and amount (COMA 199423).

10 What about parents who choose not to follow the new recommendations?
10.1 Parents should be advised of the risks associated with weaning before the neuro-muscular co-ordination has developed sufficiently to allow the infant to eat solids.
Solid foods should not be offered before
four months (COMA 199423). However, if an
infant is showing signs of being ready to start solid foods before six months, for example, sitting up, taking an interest in what the rest of the family is eating, picking up, and tasting finger foods then they should be encouraged.

11 What are the risks associated with starting solids early?
11.1 Introducing solids before sufficient development of the neuro-muscular co-ordination (to allow the infant to eat solid foods) or before the gut and kidneys have matured (to cope with a more diverse diet), can increase the risk of infections and development of allergies such as eczema and asthma.

These guidelines are not based on observing tow or three or even ten babies and children, but on thousands. And what has been observed over the last 10 years is that babies that are given solids before they are 6 months ol are much more prone to developing the problems listed above. For you to continuously keep chanting "I took (now out of date) advice from my HV and my kids are fine (so far)" you are not going to convince anyone of anything other than how closed your mind is and how incapable you are of taking on board new information. Did you also put your babies on their stomachs to sleep, prop them up with pillows, put them in their own room at 2 weeks old or any of the other things that we now know (and began to advise 10 years ago) were linked with an increased incidence of SIDS?? Or did you take that advice?? Stop telling us theres nothing wrong with the way you did it, we know now that there is!!

And Cherry, ignore the idiot in-laws and women at DH's work. What do they know? Advice that was handed out 10, 15, 20 years ago, advice that has since been replaced and discredited. Ignore them, smile sweetly, give your DH the DOH leaflet (from the link above) and tell him to smile and ignore them all too.

Oh ok, I do apologise.

I was obviously misinterpreting this post:

" "It is well known that a lot of HVs are badly informed on this subject and don't update themselves on the current information. It is a tragedy because they have a great deal of influence with new mums."

One question, do you know all these health visitors personally or is this something you've heard from the media......because if its the latter, well we all know the media 100% tells the truth........ "

What did you mean by that?

ooops sorry typo there I mean mumsnet

I dont recall saying that? I did however ask someone who claimed to be a nutritionalist if she believed every health scare to be true. And it is true that the media have a big part to play in health scares which later turn out to be complete nonsense, you may not agree but surely you agree that we can't take every food scare seriously.

I dont need to keep defending myself but i dont believe my health visitor did give me poor guidance, but fair enough we can agree to disagree on that one, coz once again I'm the one with my children who are happy and healthy And if my opinion is that health visitors not being properly informed is just rubbish thats been hyped up by the media am I not entitled to say so? If not why not?

Why does netmums seem to encourage a policy of we must all think the same way?

In answer to OP (not involving in current argument way too tired!) Gave Dd1 first foods just before 5 months as she would not drink milk. Not breast not any kind of formula. Was getting v stressed about it as she was only taking in less than half what she was meant to have. HV and doc told me to wean her and she took to it straight away. Dd2 started also around 5 months but didn't like it much so was more like 6mo when properly started. Wish I'd waited even longer with dd2 as she has severe excema - not due to weaning as developed at 7ish weeks. They have now established various allergies and put her on special formula. If I'd waited longer until after our appointment with dietician then she would've had a chance to have only special formula and given her skin a chance to heal a bit. Main advice is just to nod and say 'yes thanks I'll bear that in mind' to "helpful hints" by others. Have it all the time from parents/in laws/ random strangers about dd2 s skin and it hurt at first but have become a pro at zoning it all out. Hold off til nearer 6 months IMO. By the way my dds are coming up for 1 and 2 so all this is recent for me..

Yes, but when people have pointed out that Health Visitors can be woefully underinformed on the latest guidance regarding weaning you've just rubbished that by saying that's a media invention.

That's not very helpful, IMO.

It sucks massively that HV spout poor guidance on weaning and it sucks even more that people then try to deny it.

Fair point Hercules but I did state quite clearly that I did this 8 and 10 years ago, and I did state quite clearly that I'm not telling anyone else it is the right thing to do and have continuosly told people if they are unsure to seek the advice of a health professional rather than listen to people online saying do this and dont do that.

Rsmum how does a couple of spoonfuls of pureed carrot make a baby fuller? Milk is higher in fat and calories than any food you would begin to wean your baby on.
my 2 weren't weaned til 6 months and it made not a blind bit of difference to how long they slept, ds' reflux or their general wellbeing because he wasn't given meals he was given tastes of food, surely what weaning is all about?

I can't speak for the OP, but if I had started this thread I would prefer not to have it hijacked by somebody raving angrily and repetitively about herself, which is what you are doing.

which is what I pointed out - you seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that people want you to explain yourself, over and over again - and I don't think that they do.

I would hazard that the reason people are not saying "OK, that worked for your children" is because the best current medical evidence suggests that it was not the right thing to do, and that children who were weaned at this early stage stand a greater chance of problems in later life.

so while having no desire to make you feel bad, people are understandably reluctant to say that weaning your children at 12 weeks was the right thing to do.

The reason for that Kazzi is that there are an awful lot of parents who read mumsnet and there may well be someone who reads your posts and thinks well kazzis kids are fine so health visitor says it fine so I'll wean at 12 weeks too.

Greensleeves....if your more interested in the OP then why are u wasting time making petty little remarks aimed at me? Surely the OP would appreciate your advice more than you having silly little playground digs at me?

Hercules.....on numerous occasions I have been asked to explain the same thing, despite explaining it the best I can it doesnt seem to ne good enough amongst a certain few of you.

Not one of you was adult enough to say "ok thats how you did it, we do things differently now but we accept that way worked for you" no people just kept going on and on asking the same question over again!

Eh?

I don't see any aggression from anyone other than your good self.

Is it OK with you if people address advice to the OP, or must we all go through you, because this has turned into one of your threads?

You have stated several times parents should trust their own instincts and that your kids were fine. I disagree with you and have stated why. That's not attacking.

Oh look Greensleeves has to jump on the bandwagon as well just to get a little bitchy comment in! Grow Up! No need for the aggression aimed at me

I stated numerous times AGAIN that I wasnt advising this for everyone else, just it was right for MY children!

You have repeatedly stated that your own children were fine being weaned at 12 weeks. Great. However that doesnt mean that other peoples children will be nor does it mean that they wont develop problems in later life because of it. That's not attacking you, simply stating a fact.

I doubt very much whether anybody wants you to explain yourself further

To the OP - I wouldn't wean your baby at 3.5 months if I were you. The guidelines are there for good reason and I think it's safer to stick to them, in the main. Plus milk has more calories than most "first foods" so if a baby needs more sustenance, it needs more milk.

I sympathise though, it's very difficult trying to decide what is right, especially when you are under pressure from family members.

yeh so theres no reason for people to fkin lynch mob me and demand I explain this that and the other then is there! I never ONCE said anyones advice on this page was wrong so I really cant understand why everyone has such a bee in their bonnet!

the advice isnt wrong, it was right when I had my children and thats all I was pointing out.....is that ok with you or are you gonna demand I explain myself further?

No one is judging you. We all do what we think is best with the information we have at that time. The information however has changed now.

well u obviously aint reading the whole convos then are ya! So ur basically saying everyone can make a judgement of me and something I did for my children which has in no way harmed them and their judgements are ok but christ if I dare to reply with a different opinion all hell breaks loose!

Actually if someone gives advice that is wrong then I think it is right to question it.

I've stated in a number of posts that people are entitled to different opinions and I respect that so obviously your only reading what u wanna read! I've never undermined anyones posts on here or said theyre advice was wrong, I've only responded to the crap that people have aimed at me.....which you appear to have turned a blind eye to!

Oh ok.

I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was only supposed to read your first post and ignore the rest of them.

It all depends on whether you yourself think 3 and a half months is too early to wean your baby onto solids. Nobody knows your baby better than you do.
My eldest two now aged 8 and 10 both had large appetites as babies and were constantly drinking their milk, on the advice of my health visitor I gave them baby rice mixed with formula milk at around 12 weeks who agreed that they were a healthy enough weight and were showing signs that they were ready for it. Both are now a healthy weight a few years on.
My daughter now aged 4 was underweight as a baby and there was concern at one point that she wasn't putting on enough weight, for me to put her on solids at 12 weeks would have been irresponsible as her organs wouldn't have been ready to deal with solid food, she was about 5 months old when she went onto solids, she is also a healthy weight now.

I would speak to a health professional about it, many health visitors have years of experience in giving advice on weaning and prefer to treat each baby as an individual rather than saying "6 months is absolutely right for every baby", but its most important to trust your own instincts, I know what it was like to have know it all in laws (u should see how their kids turned out as adults!) so I find telling them to piss off usually gets the message across loud and clear, you can go with the polite approach.....but I find being straight to the point works best :D good luck xxxxx

That was my original post.....friendly as you can see, the reaction was blown all out of proportion because people can't accept something a little different, thats their problem not mine.

Yes, and everyone else will carry on disagreeing with you. So there's no need to call them names just because they disagree with you.

No, you don't need to explain anything Kazzi, but if you don't answer our questions we're entitled to think you're misguided.

demanding I explain myself!

fkin hell I'm in court on trial why cant people just get over shit and get on with their lives ffs????? Everyone has to question someone else's life, yeh I strongly disagree with ppl doing that and will happily say so, even if others dont agree!

Name calling is aggressive, it undermines the point you wish to make.

You've been banging on and on about how people can't respect your point of view but I've seen NO respect from you for theirs.

This thread isn't pretty, it's really not.

again the chip on the shoulder comment is true

thats how people come across on here, theyre the aggressive ones not willing to accept different views, I'm not gonna lie down and take crap off people who think they know it all about everything, and yes that IS assertive and not aggressive

"People on this site are pathetic the majority have a chip on their shoulder"

Yes, not aggressive at all.

hercules....your point being?

Just to clarify,

"this site is just full of judgemental know it alls who live in a black and white ideal world where everything is either one way or the other and nothing in between is acceptable!"

You're saying that here you were being assertive, and not aggressive. Because I'm sorry but you do sound rather offensive to me.

read back through the posts and you'll quite clearly see

Kazzi - you have stated on several occasions that early weaning has not harmed your children. People have pointed out that actually you cant know this for sure as damage in some cases (unlikely, yes, but possible) often doesnt show until adulthood.

Ok.

Can you point to the aggression that was directed towards you please so I can make up my own mind

I don't feel as though my posts are agressive, on the contrary I feel as though the aggression is aimed at me constantly asking questions that I've already answered, I've not once demanded an explanation from anyone yet people have demanded I explained myself.
People just don't seem to accept that something that is no longer the WHO advice worked perfectly fine and they keep telling me I'm wrong and can't say my children are fine. Certainly no aggression from my part but I have every right to tell people to mind their own business if they're making a judgement on my family that they've never met.
Again I've not made any aggressive posts all I've done is highlight that people should seek help from a health professional if unsure and that people shouldnt be so quick to judge others.
I know I did what was right for MY family so cant understand why people on here have such a problem with that, after all I'm not questionning the choice of others, theres a difference between aggression and assertiveness and my posts have certainly been the latter but deffo not aggressive unlike posts directed at me.......

Kazzi I'm just curious as to why you're answering in such a defensive and aggressive way when you're so confident in your opinion?

Ds was 5 1/2 months, he didn't take to it till 6 1/2 months properly though, he was on 11oz hungry baby formula before weaning.

Dd was 6 months, just because she seemed content on milk till then.

3 mths is ludicrous! Do what you feel best, don't do things because someone else said so, Mothers' instinct is best.

My DH was weaned at two weeks and he's now totally intolerant to wheat, can't handle most carbs actually and dairy.

I'd always err on the side of caution when it comes to weaning. Breastmilk in particular is full of great fats so the baby won't go hungry.

Cherrybaby, poor thing, I know how you feel. As another poster has suggested, just lie to your in-laws. We have had similar rows with MiL over baby milk - she thinks DS should have cows milk from 6 months They think they know it all because they lived through a few wars .

I was weaned early and from birth, my mum also used to give my brothers and I water with sugar in it . I had asthma as a toddler upto my teens, I still have hayfever, and we all have a sweet tooth. Many babies are ready a bit before 6 months, but 3 months is way too early and I have been as pissed off as you are trying to explain these things to relatives. Besides, food is fun till 1. A couple of spoons of baby rice won't add much nutritionally anyway.

Coincidentally, I started weaning DS today - he is 25 weeks (I think he is ready). Gave him some pureed carrot and he promptly took the spoon from me and stuck it in his mouth. Hmmm, perhaps baby led weaning beckons.

Rsmum - sorry but your claim to be a health professional doesnt fill me with confidence. I am yet to meet one who knows very much about weaning or brestfeeding

I'm with you stealthpolarbear on the mucky house front. I must go now and do something about it!

I thought as much.....it stands out a mile from your posts

Just as lifes too short for cleaning (behind an immaculate house lies an extremely boring woman), lifes also too short to worry about how other people choose to bring up their children!

Nothing right at the moment no, apart from a mucky house which I am avoiding

and Rsmum I couldnt have put it better myself, this site is just full of judgemental know it alls who live in a black and white ideal world where everything is either one way or the other and nothing in between is acceptable!

Have you honestly got nothing better to worry about than someone who believes something different to you? Knowing your baby and just knowing that they may be ready to start weaning is part of that parents instinct....end of! I dont need a piece of medical equipment or xray eyes to tell me when to do something I think is right for MY child, I can think for myself thanks!

I would like to add that no one should wean their baby before they believe their baby is ready, so don't listen to people who are trying to hurry you along.
However if you think your baby is ready before 6 months get some advice and delay for a while to make sure that the signs you think are showing readiness to wean are not something else. 6 months is still the best time to wean if you can wait that long, I couldn't.

I'm not qualified, but the WHO is and so quoting their guidance is probably fairly safe!
How does parental instinct help you see if their gut's ready? I believe you have it or you don't but I still don't understand that bit.

Think what you want I really couldnt give a **

I havent recommended anything to anyone on here......as like the majority of people who post I'm not qualified to do so. Parents instinct is just something you either have or dont have thats the only way I can say it, I personally believed i did what was right for my children and a few years down the line....no health problems and no mental trauma from being weaned early I was proved right.....in my case!

There is no harm in waiting apart from the fact that if your baby is ready they will be constantly hungry and miserable. How would you like to be constantly hungry and only be given tiny little bits of food to eat every couple of hours without ever really getting enough?

It is all about weighing up risks and benefits to both you and the child as is every decision you make in every aspect of life. I'm sure anyone who has weaned early has done so with the best interests of their child at heart and who is anyone else to criticise that?

".....part of the reason for 6mth guideline is from the WHO due to lack of clean facilities for food preparation in developing countries."

This could be part of the reason. If it is part of the reason, that's because babies' guts are so immature and cannot handle anything other than milk.

I've never ever understood the rush to wean.

No no no. dont unless your baby is giving you sings that they want to, which yours is not.

So Rsmum, what's the harm in waiting exactly?

No, you don't need to explain anything Kazzi, but if you don't answer our questions we're entitled to think you're misguided.
I'd love to know how your instinct helped you to see that your babies' guts were ready for weaning.
I'm sure your DCs are fine btw - not implying otherwise, just that anecdotal evidence is NOT a basis for recommendation.

You guys are so rigid in your thoughts.

Hercules, WHO takes into consideration ALL babies (like you said) and that includes developing countries so advice is based on situation there, it stands to reason. I would like to add that I am a health professional and didn't do it the weaning thing early on a whim. I looked at the advice and the evidence for that advice and also looked at my child and the behaviours he was exhibiting.

Life is not black and white and I think that sometimes a lot of you MNs can be a bit quick to judge.

Incidentally my DS is much happier and contented now that he is being weaned and is loving all the new flavours which I am introducing slowly and carefully.

I dont need to explain anything to anyone! As much as you try and bully me into it....get over it! Blaaaaaahhhhhh blaaaaaahhhhh I can go round in circles, saying the same thing...it was MY choice.....if you're so narrow minded you can't accept that then its your problem not mine, as stated a million times all my children.....weaned at different stages are now happy and healthy and thats the most important thing to me, of course weaning is trail and error.....even at 6 months you might try and wean your baby and they aren't ready, you would then stop for a few days and try again!

I'm liking borinbuggers post "breastfed till 6 months then weaned onto baby rice and fruit at 6 months everything worked out fine"......someone who did differently to me and has the intelligence to put it across in a non judgemental and non aggressive way. The world would be very very boring if everyone thought the same!

But instinct cannot tell you when your baby's gut is ready for weaning!!
And weaning isn't a trial and error thing - once your baby has had first solids then he/she is weaned - too late then to see that they are reacting badly using those instincts.
Most of us weren't in car seats and we're all OK. So I'm going to go with my instincts and not bother for DS and soon to be DC2

But it's not your babys personality they need to know about - it's their stomach. Yes, some babies will be ready before the 6 months some after - instinct wont tell you which yours is. There is no harm done in waiting till 6 months but can be harm if you do it too early.

Please explain to me how your instinct helps you see inside your baby's stomach to know.

breastfed till 6 months then weaned onto baby rice and fruit at 6 months everything worked out fine

WHO dont know my children as well as I do, and as you state from your previous post WHO treat every baby as the same when in fact every baby is different, I did actually go more into detail in a previous post about how people who take the time to get to know their children end up knowing from parents instinct! Life experience is by far the best way to learn about being a parent, well imo anyway.

Noone has yet explained how this "instinct" thing is more accurate than the WHO.

RSmum - that is not true about the WHO guidelines taking into consideration developing countries. It's a myth. Their guidelines are for all babies.

It's not a competition.

I hope everything goes well Rsmum......and good luck with the anti weanbefore6months brigade on here!

And dont feel guilty, as you said you know your baby best, not a textbook and certainly not people on here, and as I've said a million times my children who were weaned early are happy and healthy 10 and 8 year olds

Thank you puffylovett thats the point I'm making, just as every adult is different every baby is different too and should be treated as an individual, whats right for one baby isnt always right for another.

Alestorm.....not that smear tests are relevant to a weaning topic (I was just using it to make a point that health guidelines aren't always to be believed), but I can't help wonder why you chose to post an outdated link from 2003 regarding smear test policy (medical science does after all move on), try this link for the latest guidelines on the subject derbyshiremedical.co.uk/19.html

Kazzi, I am pretty much with you on this one. Though I think the latest you can delay weaning the better for all the reasons people have given like reducing the risk of allergy in particular.
That said I started weaning my baby at 20weeks three weeks ago after trying to delay doing so until 6mths as I and DH both have allergies and really didn't want to. I felt guilty about it at first but what people don't realise is that part of the reason for 6mth guideline is from the WHO due to lack of clean facilities for food preparation in developing countries.

I don't care what anyone else says I know my baby and he was ready for solids and is doing great.

Alestorm - I know you won't stop blaming yourself, because I do too with my DS eczema. But the chances are your DC was just not DESIGNED to digest dairy, and wether you gave it to him at 9 months or 9 years, he may have developed the same issues. Some of us just don't produce the lactase enzyme. Howver on the plus side, it was identified early, caught early and so now you can keep your LO OFF dairy and avoid one of the triggers for his eczema. Not neccessarily the cause

Kazzi - I take a lot of the stuff in the media with a pinch of salt IYSWIM ! There are SO many contradicting arguements out there about different foodstuffs. See the thread about vegetarianism - for YEARS i felt it was the best way forward, until I met the most amazing tutor who has the most amazing success rate, who taught me that we NEED a certain amount of meat, we don't consume enough protein - that she'd spent 12 years as a sick veggie until she reintroduced meat. It was a real eye opener.

I take each case on face value, consider each person individually and try to look at ALL the factors with illness developing. The arguements about all these foods causing illness - yes I totally believe sugar and refined carbs are hugely contributing to diabetes and heart disease. But so is lifestyle and portion size. There is no one blanket fits all with any of the this stuff IYSWIM !

So if years down the line they have health problems, who says thats to do with the fact they were weaned early? Oh and for the record group daycare doesnt do children any harm at an early age although personally I would prefer my children with me at such a young age anyway.

I dont want to read and have no interest in accepting research blah blah because I know I did what was right and to this day I stand by it! I really dont see why you have a problem with that and more to the point if you really have nothing bigger to worry about than the fact I weaned 2 of my children at 12 weeks then I suggest you count yourself lucky.

Provincial lady, what I'm saying is people need to get their heads constantly out of textbooks and learn from experience.

Thanks for claryfying that puffylovett, I've not once suggested on here that anyone should wean their baby at 12 weeks and if people would read my posts they would clearly see I constantly say people who are unsure should seek the advice of a health professional, (but apparantly health professionals who are fully trained and have years of experience don't know what they're talking about anyway so maybe you shouldnt seek that advice and instead take the advice of people on the net who know everything about everything).

My youngest child is 4 and was weaned at 5 months (the guideline then was 6 months) I would have weaned her earlier had I felt it appropriate but she wasnt ready.

Again I can say my children are fine because I'm with them everyday and they are happy and healthy, I know my children and I prefer to use experience as my guide for being a parent not a textbook. I don't feel as though I should have to explain myself constantly when I know that my children are fine. I came on here to give an alternate view and tbh I think the response has been ridiculous.

I really think people just need to chill out, ffs its a topic about weaning I really don't see why know it alls need to get on their high horse about it, if you believe your advice is right then go and put it into practice instead of telling someone who shock horror did something else and nothing bad happened.

Just wondering puffylovett (and this is a genuine question its not intended to cause an argument) as a nutritional therapist you must constantly hear these health scares about different foods, do you believe all of them to be true? Because I personally can't help thinking that half the time its a load of crap and I will carry on living my life my way eating the foods I choose to eat coz lifes too short to sit and take everything seriously.

"People need to stop spouting this health guidelines crap.....even if you believe it which is your right to, get a backbone and think for yourselves!"

<gets out whip to drive devils out of DS2's mouth which are causing him to have sore gums pre-teething>

Medical science moves on.

Kazzi - "Yes years down the line they might have health problems"

The facts of the matter are that early weaning can be dangerous. The research is there - and i understand that you don't want to read it or accept it because who wants to read that what they did could have caused their children harm? FWIW, i don't like reading that group childcare before 3 can be damaging to children as my ds was in nursery at 13 months when I went back to work and my dd will be doing the same.

I followed the advice of my HV when she advised me to give raw cow's milk to my ds at 9 months, he now has a dairy allergy and quite severe eczema. Now I don't know if the two things are connected, but i think it's likely. I wish I could go back in time and not give him raw dairy so early, but I can't, I just have to live with the fact that I've caused ds to have an uncomfortable and unpleasant condition that he will probably have for life. Some HV's talk crap and give out frankly dangerous advice to very vulnerable new mums. I repeat, if your HV told you to wean at 3 and a half months then she was not a good HV, she was giving out bad and dangerous advice and it doesn't matter how many mums are happy with her, she gave out bad advice. The advice was never to wean at 3 months, even 10 years ago (AFAIK).

Oh - and the cervical smears thing has been changed to 20 for as long as I can remember, I certainly had my first smear at 20, so I'm not sure where the 25 thing comes from! Here - "The Department of Health recommends that women between the ages of 20 and 64 have routine cervical smears every three to five years as part of the NHS Screening Programme."

oh dear, another weaning arguement thread

I'm a Nutritional Therapist and I see a LOT of people with bowel problems, women with period issues or struggling to conceive, older people with auto immune conditions or arthritis, and yes people with cancer. I also see a LOT of children with eczema, asthma, allergies, bowel issues.

I'm not saying early weaning is completely to blame, because it's not. Other factors play a part such as diet, the overuse of lots of drugs like antibiotics, lifestyle such as high levels of stress. But I do think that it can be a contributory factor.

The thing is, how can we say 'our children are fine' when maybe some of them are suffering from sub clinical issues such as bloating, wind, bad breath, mild constipation, occasional headaches, increased susceptibility to colds and flus etc - many kids are just too young to tell us and we have to be really observant as parents to know that something is out of the ordinary and not just the 'norm' for that child.

I'm sure Kazzi was just following the advice of her health visitor and her instints at the time, 10 yrs ago when things were very different. But nowadays more research has been done, so it makes sense to follow the guidelines as best as possible to protect your childs future health as much as you can. That doesn't mean, however, that other factors aren't still going to cause them the above health issues !

It's such a tangled debate and so very passionate.

"I'm really trying not to have a go - after all if you weaned your oldest child 10 years ago it hardly matters now, does it?" bit of a contradiction when one minute your asking how I know if it hasnt done any long term damage.

First of all my health visitor was very good so I dont think you've got the right to make a judgement on someone you know nothing about, many mums in this area are happy with that particular health visitor and the advice she gave me was spot on! Something that as I know MY family and you don't I'm more qualified to say so!

I've never said further down the line weaning might cause harm, where did I say that?

No I don't accept what you say is a possibilty.......as my children live very active lifestyles and eat good healthy meals so from my point of view theres no chance they will become obese unless as adults they choose a different lifestyle which I would accept as their choice even if I didnt agree with it! Again the boring negative persons "what if" attitude!

People on this site are pathetic the majority have a chip on their shoulder just because someone is intelligent enough to think something a little bit different! I'm not asking anyone to agree nor am I ramming apparant facts, advice etc down peoples throats.

I did what I was right for MY family and I'm not having anyone on here talking shit and telling me I did the wrong thing for MY family when I have 3 beautiful happy healthy childrenand have the common sense to be a mum and not rely on a book, guidelines etc (health guidelines also state women under 25 don't need a smear.....Jade Goody died of cervical cancer age 27.....nuff said!) Health guidelines state that eating certain foods increases risk of cancer and certain other diseases yet if we dont eat we die of anorexia, People need to stop spouting this health guidelines crap.....even if you believe it which is your right to, get a backbone and think for yourselves!

I was just about to answer, but I see that Alestorm has said what I was going to say

And in answer to this:

"By Kazzi79 on Sat 04-Jul-09 01:19:23
"It is well known that a lot of HVs are badly informed on this subject and don't update themselves on the current information. It is a tragedy because they have a great deal of influence with new mums."

One question, do you know all these health visitors personally or is this something you've heard from the media......because if its the latter, well we all know the media 100% tells the truth........"

I know that HV's spout a load of shit, because I've had the shit spouted at me, as have a lot of my friends, acquaintances and people on here! Barely a week goes by on MN without a thread going, "My HV says my baby isn't putting weight on quickly enough and I should give him wallpaper paste baby rice, is she right?"

I know there are good HV's out there, but if your HV told you that it was ok to wean at 12 weeks, then I'm afraid she wasn't one of them!!

How do you know it hasn't done any harm?! Further down you said that you're fully aware that early weaning may cause them health risks later on in life - so if waiting to wean does no harm then why risk it?

I'm really trying not to have a go - after all if you weaned your oldest child 10 years ago it hardly matters now, does it?

Incidentally, my dh was weaned at 12 weeks onto pureed roast dinners and the like, and now at 35 has IBS, is morbidly obese and has serious issues with food. I'm not saying that your dc will have these problems, but you accept that it's a possibility? So why - if you know the risks of early weaning - would you possibly say that it's ever acceptable to wean before 17 weeks (at the absolute earliest) if your "mother's instinct" tells you that they're hungry! Can you not see how completely random and nonsensical your arguments are?

I don't think saying my kids are fine IS irrelevant.....I weaned my eldest 2 children at 12 weeks and they are fine.....its very relevant to the topic! It might not be what the majority of you want to hear and obviously the majority of you don't agree with me which is your right, but like it or not its relevant to the topic. I never once said that it would harm a baby to wait to start weaning, and I agree waiting does no harm at all, but in my situation not waiting also hasn't done any harm. If people want to wait its their choice, if people feel their baby is ready earlier its also their choice, people should respect that.

Kazzi - but if you could do something really simple that could eliminate the potential risks to your child, then why wouldn't you?

I'm not talking about stopping them playing football, or never taking them in a car, obviously. But waiting to wean does no harm at all (apart from attract the ire of busybody IL's, it seems) and could prevent your children from developing IBS, Crohn's disease, obesity later on in life.

Kazzi - the things you list in your post are not signs of readiness for weaning. All babies shove their fingers in their mouths, all babies dribble, and all babies wake in the night for all sorts of reasons. And guess what - my baby watches me read but i'm not going to start teaching her phonics! Watching you eat is not a genuine sign of readiness for weaning.

True signs of weaning: Being able to sit up unaided, developing pincer grip, being able to independently feed self finger foods, loss of tongue thrust reflex.

Sorry to piss on your bonfire, and I'm glad your dc are fine, but saying, "Well my kids are fine," is irrelevant. I appreciate that you're not telling anyone to wean at 12 weeks/3 months but the facts and research point towards waiting for true signs of readiness before weaning.

Just a point I was making with my other post no bad feeling intended, only miserable people live their life with the "what if" attitude, the rest of us just go out and live our lives as we see fit

"It is well known that a lot of HVs are badly informed on this subject and don't update themselves on the current information. It is a tragedy because they have a great deal of influence with new mums."

One question, do you know all these health visitors personally or is this something you've heard from the media......because if its the latter, well we all know the media 100% tells the truth........

How lovely, a reasoned arguement

I've actually not missed any point, tell ya what I'll give up eating certain foods because 40 years down the line they might give me cancer (if we listened to all such health scares we'd die of anorexia), I'll stop driving a car because someone might crash into me, I'll stop walking down the street coz I might get mugged....oh hang on that means I spend my life indoors....should be safe there hey....wait no I could fall down the stairs or I could get electrocuted!

Apologies for not spending my life as a negative thinker as many other mums do! Yes years down the line they might have health problems, so should I stop my children from playing sport as they might break their leg (just thought I'd get that in as we seem to have adopted a prevention is better than cure attitude), should I stop my children playing out in case they get kidnapped? Should I just wrap them up in cotton wool to the point where when they become adults they can't cope with the real world?

And yes as I've said all along the original poster should do what SHE believes is right and tell her inlaws to piss off and mind their own business

Cherrybaby, I have two DCs with a biggish age gap and the advice on weaning has changed since the first - when it was no earlier than four months, to the present day - which is no earlier than six months.

I think these well meaning/interfering people just don't realise the advice has changed, so you stick to your guns.

Kazzi - you rather miss the point. Your kids are fine now, but a lot of problems don't show up until later in life. I obviously hope that they will continue to be perfectly healthly, but it's not possible for you to say that they will suffer no ill effects from early weaning. It is not random 'books' giving this information, it is current medical advice based on evidence from research.
It is well known that a lot of HVs are badly informed on this subject and don't update themselves on the current information. It is a tragedy because they have a great deal of influence with new mums.

Anyway to return to the OP - you stick to your guns . You will do your baby no harm by waiting, but you may do harm by not waiting. I had pressure from my inlaws as well ' oh poor child you aren't going to make him sit there while we eat with nothing? He will be miserable'
Er actually no, because he's never eaten so he doesn't miss it!!

Showofhands.....if I had the time and nothing better to do then I would sit and look for research into the matter but I'm too busy to do that!

So how does instinct allow me to know???? Hmmm tough one....NOT!

Well as a parent I spend everyday with my children and have done since the day they were born, this allows me to know whats normal for them and what isn't normal for them, as a new parent theres a little thing called trial and error (part of the learning process I mentioned in my previous post)where if you think there is something wrong with your baby you try different things to get a solution, now I've got to be honest I am struggling to remember back as far as 8 and 10 years ago (as I previously mentioned I have a very busy life) so I can't really remember what it was that prompted me to try weaning other than things like good weight gain, watching others eat their food with great interest, fingers in mouth, waking up again through the night having slept through from 5 weeks probably amongst other things. I'm lucky in that I had a very good health visitor and I asked her if it would be too early to start weaning at 3 months (the guidelines at the time were 4 months) she advised me there would be no harm in giving it a go if I wanted to and suggested baby rice mixed with his normal milk.

I did this with both my eldest 2 as previously said, with my first it worked a treat he was back to sleeping through the night again and tbh thats the only change, ten years on he isnt traumered! My second child was never a good sleeper due to other unrelated health problems but again it didnt harm him and like his brother he is perfectly fine and not suffering post traumatic stress from being weaned a little early!

I'll make clear I am NOT telling anyone on this thread that 3 months is the right or wrong time to start weaning, just pointing out that in MY situation it was the right thing to do, regardless of whether or not I have the approval of others. I am encouraging people to do what they believe is right for THEIR child, as I don't know their child I won't tell them what to do.....and a book doesnt know their child either!

Goingnowherefast, my eldest 2 were weaned at 12 weeks on MY instinct and the advice of a health professional (at this time the guidelines stated 4 months was the correct weaning age), both these children are now healthy 10 and 8 year olds. I actually CAN say "I did it like that and it was fine" because thats true! I certainly wasn't irresponsible then and am not now. My 4 year old was weaned at 5 months as thats when she was ready for it. Many mums I know think their babies are ready for weaning before 6 months so they wean their babies before and law and behold the babies are absolutely fine!
Of course not every baby will be ready some won't even be ready by 6 months, but I personally think a mum knows her baby far better than a book does, books should be there for guidance when you need it not to completely tell you every step of bringing up a child. Being a parent is a learning process but if people don't have the common sense to follow their own instinct then they're not ready to be parents in the first place, imo anyway.

I completely agree with ShowOfHands.
Kazzi - yes, all babies are different, and 6 months IS a guideline, not a prescription, BUT.. there is a reason why 6 months is a guideline. Some babies will be ready a little earlier, some later, but it is safer to wait until 6 months because you can be fairly sure that they are able to deal with the solid food around this time.
To wean at 12 weeks *now the guidelines are 26 weeks* would be irresponsible. You can't use the caveat "well my instinct is telling me to". It's so far before the minimum recommended weaning age (17 weeks), which is based on actual research, not just plucked out of the air. I understand it's difficult when guidelines change and we did a certain thing in the past that now goes against guidelines. If there is a time 5 years later when they decide weaning at 6 months is not recommended for some reason and to wait until 9, I won't be telling mums that "I did it like that, and dd is fine, so go ahead". I'll accept that I did the best I thought at the time with the information I had available, but that maybe new research has disproved it.

As others have said - no point, no benefits in early weaning.

My friend is weaning her 15-week-old boy, and apparently he has piles from straining where he is constipated

when my health visitor, sorry

I've just remembered that when my pushed me to put DD on solids at 5 months because she was 98th centile and I politely said I'd rather not due to a history of asthma in the family she said the best way to avoid asthma was a healthy, varied diet so weaning was definitely the way forward!

I'm fairly certain she hadn't read the research the guidelines are based on.

Kazzi perhaps you could expand a little on how instinct allows you to see that your child's gut has matured in readiness for solids? You know, instead of looking at research and the guidelines that follow that research?

"all 3 of my children never had any problems feeding" Again, that's anecdotal and like I said earlier, I walked out in the road without looking today and I'm fine so there's no point bothering to look. Anecdotal stories are not relevant.

"I'm not a health professional but I personally believed for my children their weight etc WAS the factor in whether or not they were ready for weaning, something that was backed up by health professionals" Again that's your personal belief but any health professional practicing today who thinks that an average healthy child is ready for weaning based on weight is ill informed and frankly dangerous.

I don't doubt that a baby goes longer between feeds once you offer baby rice and this contributes to them sleeping through again. I do doubt that this is little to do with readiness for solids and actually to do with the time and difficulty to digesting baby rice when your body just isn't ready for it.

I'm pleased your children are healthy. I hope they continue to be so.

My HV told me to feed my DS lots of sugary puddings as he wasn't following his centile.

Because turning him into a sweettoothed, rotten teeth lardarse is definitely what we're aiming for here, isn't it

The NHS guidelines are here and they say six months, and certainly NEVER before four months, so you can show this to your IL's and tell them to stick it in their pipe and smoke it.

Some of the tosh my HV comes out with makes me laugh.

I agree with your sentiment Kazzi but sadly many health professionals don't actually offer up to date advice

Interesting advice Show of Hands, but I chose to follow the advice from my health visitor who'd been in the job for 20 years and contradicts everything in your post and all 3 of my children never had any problems feeding, it was my instict that prompted me to seek the advice from a health professional and the fact that I knew my babies better than anyone else imo proved me right.

I'm not a health professional but I personally believed for my children their weight etc WAS the factor in whether or not they were ready for weaning, something that was backed up by health professionals.

Likewise friends who've had babies that have slept through the night and suddenly started waking again found that this stopped once they started weaning so I think to say thats rubbish is a little narrow minded.

So I still give the same advice....trust your own instincts as a parent, seek advice from a health professional and do what you think is right for your own baby.

Just to clarify here.

There is no link between the size of a baby/its weight and readiness for weaning.

And instinct alone cannot tell you a baby is ready for solids, only that they are hungry and the best thing for that is more milk. A baby is ready for solids when its gut seals and as you can't see into your baby's tummy, you do not know when this is. The external cues listed above- sitting unaided, loss of tongue thrust, pincer grasp, chewing and swallowing are the signs that your child is ready for more and they are thought to mirror their inner maturation. None of this waking at night, looking at your food rubbish.

It's silly to say 'oh he's a big baby he needs more' isn't it when it's milk alone that made him that big? There are far more calories in milk than in puree or baby rice. So if a baby is 'hungry' then milk is the first option.

I had this from my inlaws too - they were obsessed with weaning at "12 weeks or 12 pounds, whichever is first". My ds was 12 pounds at 8 weeks! They went on about it a bit too much and I ended up threatening to clobber one of them at Christmas! It hasn't been mentioned since....

Stick to your guns! I know it's really awkward, but you'll regret it later if you're pressured into doing something that you know isn't right.

Sound advice kidstunes!

Mum2b09: People who go on about how much baby's feed/feeding too often have usually never bf a baby so have no idea. Especially in hot weather, when delicious breastmilk is so thirst-quenching for Lo's

hi cherrybaby

I have a similar problem my mum and inlaws keep telling me to wean my 3 month old early because shes such a 'hungry baby' and i feed her 'too often'.. Im breast feeding and inend to exclusively until 6 months and carry on whilst weaning until shes over 1 or until I decide i want to stop. im a young mum too and know how undermining it can feel when people tell you what to do even if there intentions arent bad just politely tell them that you would rather stick to the guidelines of weaning, better safe than sorry.

Smile and nod and agree with them, then do what you want to do. Worked for me

Up to you essentially, not your DH as he probably won't be doing much of the weaning. I did DD (now 3) quite early at 4.5 mths and weaned the traditional way. I found she didn't really ingest much till about 22 weeks and was then fine until shifting onto the lumps etc. She just preferred finger food so pretty much just had that from about 9mths. This time round I read all the research and decided to aim for about 6 mths. Despite haveing a hugely fat DS who all my family thought I was starving to death I made it to 24 weeks before starting BLW. No puree, hurrah! (he was nearly 2 weeks overdue so I reasoned this was 'about 6 mths' could sit well, has teeth, pincer grip developing and just seemed ready....he was!).

He was a 98th percentile baby and managed quite well on just breastmilk till 5 mths (then mixed fed as returning to work) so I'm sure smaller babies will be fine too!

Just ignore what over people say, they won't be the ones doing it, you will be the one stuck with all the hassle of making up purees and stuff.

P.s I just lied to relatives and said 'well I have tried him with a few spoons of babyrice and he's not really interested. Utter BS but it did shut them up!

It all depends on whether you yourself think 3 and a half months is too early to wean your baby onto solids. Nobody knows your baby better than you do.
My eldest two now aged 8 and 10 both had large appetites as babies and were constantly drinking their milk, on the advice of my health visitor I gave them baby rice mixed with formula milk at around 12 weeks who agreed that they were a healthy enough weight and were showing signs that they were ready for it. Both are now a healthy weight a few years on.
My daughter now aged 4 was underweight as a baby and there was concern at one point that she wasn't putting on enough weight, for me to put her on solids at 12 weeks would have been irresponsible as her organs wouldn't have been ready to deal with solid food, she was about 5 months old when she went onto solids, she is also a healthy weight now.

I would speak to a health professional about it, many health visitors have years of experience in giving advice on weaning and prefer to treat each baby as an individual rather than saying "6 months is absolutely right for every baby", but its most important to trust your own instincts, I know what it was like to have know it all in laws (u should see how their kids turned out as adults!) so I find telling them to piss off usually gets the message across loud and clear, you can go with the polite approach.....but I find being straight to the point works best :D good luck xxxxx

Oh, and we weaned ours when they started snatching stuff off our plates. Which was 5.5 months, 7.5 months and 8.5 months respectively.

No, don't do it! A lot of us were weaned early as babies, and look at the number of food intolerances, bowel problems and allergies suffered by our generation. Just smile and say you're following WHO guidelines. Get some info printed out for your husband to read up on so that he's not relying on second hand info from colleagues to decide him.

Point him/ them in the direction of Kellymom on starting solids - I was reading this through yesterday and lots of evidence based stuff on why not to wean early.

don't do it, it's much too early! ignore them and stick to your guns
my dd2 is the same age-there's no way she's ready to be weaned

I think thats way to early. DS1 was weaned from about 4 1/2 - 5 months. DS2 is 7months and will happily suck on a piece of toast but will not eat all the fruit or veg i puree and mash up for him.

DS1 is now 3 1/2yrs and is quite a fussy eater, prefers smooth food and seems to have problems chewing and swallowing food.

Oh fgs. Calpol for a non-poorly child? And a lot of babies get that rash on their faces as a newborn. It's normal.

Smile and nod, smile and nod and if you must say something a wry little 'oh how things have changed since you were young'.

It must be hard to reconcile the changes in parenting with how you did things, especially when you thought you were doing your best (and you were with the info available at the time) but to start doling out advice that flies in the face of research and current guidelines is ridiculous. I bet they didn't use carseats either. Are they going to start recommending you sit with the baby on your knee?

True signs of readiness for solids in an average, healthy baby are sitting unaided, loss of tongue thrust reflex, ability to chew and swallow, use of a pincer grasp.

You sound like you're doing a great job. Have faith in your instincts. Quick work in dh's ear too. He needs to support you.

Yes, that too.

Re. the Calpol, I've found that my nan and stepmum are particularly quick to blame everything on teeth. DS is 10 months and hasn't got a single one yet!

Your dh needs to develop a backbone and support you on this.

Tell them to fuck the fuck off.

Seriously though, as satisfying as that would be, the easiest thing to do is probably to take Horton's advice - smile, nod, ignore. Don't let them undermine your confidence. She is your baby and that makes you the expert in looking after her.

Another thing i was told was to giver her some calpol before she slept because she was crying...................................

she was just overtired, thats all, and as soon as we got home and i lay her in her basket, she was asleep. i found it impossible to be polite after this particular piece of advice, and the goodbyes were rather strained.

Didnt mean for this thread to turn into a whinge about the in laws but Ive just realised I was about to lose my ground, and its really pissed me off.

Totally agree with everyone else - wait till YOU (her mother, who knows her best) thinks she is good and ready. You will know, because she will be actively grabbing for food and stuffing it in her mouth.

Totally agree re the skin lotion thing too, I have had to tell DP's parents a few times not to use Aqueous cream etc on DS (severe reactionary eczema) skin. Again, I'm his mum - I know him the best. I'm the one that deals with the outbreaks whenever they give him sugar or strawberries . Another reason for waiting to wean !

It's not one size fits all IMO

Tell them to mind their own bloody business! I hate it when people do this, think they know more than you. It's your baby, they've had theirs. You bring your baby up the way you want to. When they start telling you what to do, the polite way to answer is to say; "I appreciate your advice and I'll take it into consideration, but I'd like to try things out my way first."

The rude way is to say; "Naff off and stop sticking your big fat nose in!"

Trust me, if you listen to all these people, you'll look back in 5 years time and wish you'd just followed your own instincts.

I think this is probably the sort of situation where, when your in-laws say it's okay and they did it etc, you just smile and nod politely and say 'how interesting, haven't times changed' and do whatever you wanted to do in the first place. Much sympathy, though. I had lots of this kind of thing from my in-laws, too.

thanks for all your replies.

im just feeling outnumbered as many of his family members keep telling me its OK- and of course theres always the implication that im a first time mum, and a young one at that, and i know nothing about looking after a baby. i do alot of research and reading and i know about the guidelines etc, and now i feel guilty for even considering it.

another issue has been using baby lotions and oils etc. im against using any chemicals on my babies skin, and massage her with olive oil - and her newborn rash was blamed on this, and i was repeatedly told to use baby lotion on her face!!!

I don't understand why you'd want to either. Can you do a bit of research and show your husband some of the many articles that are out there about the benefits of waiting what is only really a few weeks? I can't understand why he'd rather take advice from a bunch of women at work than from you, either.

NO - please don't. That's much too early. Why would you want to? Current medical advice is that your baby's digestive system is not ready until at least 6 months, and if you introduce food too early, it could lead to health problems in later life.

We waited til 6 months but I had a strange acquaintance who started shovelling rusks down her DS at 11 weeks and telling me how ridiculous it was to wait til 6 months because they won't be able to eat anything if they leave it that late.

Our babies are now 10 months old and my DD will happily eat anything with lumps, finger food etc. Her baby still has to have everything pureed to a liquid.

What have his family, friends and colleagues got to do with your decisions as parents?

What everyone else does is never a good enough reason to base a decision upon.

6 months is the guideline because weaning earlier could lead to allergies and gut problems.

6 months isn't too late. Too late for what by the way? I know babies that didn't want solids until they were 8-9 months old.

Why would you?

We didn't wean DS until 6 months. We did purees at the start but it was good to be able to give him pretty much anything and move onto lumpier, and finger, foods really quickly.

No 6 months is not too late, generally you can't be 'late' with weaning (unless we're talking ridiculous extremes). You can be too early though and risk the health of your baby. Is that what your family want?

Anecdotal, 'I know a baby weaned early and it's fine' stories mean bugger all in the face of research and guidelines. Yes you may well wean a baby early and it's fine for a few months or years but it's a decision that affects their entire lives and you cannot make that assertion.

You know what, I walked out in front of a car this morning and I'm absolutely fine so I recommend you all do it immediately.

Too early for weaning IMO

Plus, if you wait til 6 months you don't have to bother with all the pureeing for months, and freezing things in ice cube trays.

6 months is your safest option. If you weaned your baby now probably nothing would "happen" to her, but I don't see the point of risking it to appease other people.

Ridiculous idea and contravenes all health advice. Six months is quite early enough and any earlier is actively dangerous. Why be
in a hurry? What on earth would happen if you started 'too late'?

My husband and I had a row last night over whether when to wean our baby girl. His family are all very keen on starting weaning early - his sister has a baby roughly around the same age, and started weaning him at 3 months. I know they keep pestering him about it when Im not there.

Also, he says that he has mothers meetings() with the women at work when they all talk babies, and they all started weaning their babies at 3 months or around then, and nothing "happened" to them.

When did you all start weaning your babies, and is the six month mark too late?

All comments welcome!