to expect good wanking etiquette?

(261 Posts)
bashon Sat 05-Jun-10 13:18:58

eg thou shan't leave thine wanky tissues anywhere else but in thine bin.

Hullygully Sat 05-Jun-10 13:19:37

I always think they look quite nice strewn about the breakfast table.

bashon Sat 05-Jun-10 13:21:32


colin and justine always use ivy, fruit n shit but why not wanky tissues?

lifeissweet Sat 05-Jun-10 13:24:03

My friend's Mum got so sick of him leaving deposits everywhere as a teenager that she knitted (yes, knitted) him a little mitten to mop up after himself. She then washed it weekly and put it on his bed all nicely ironed. This is no joke. It did eradicate the wanky tissues scenario, though.

Meglet Sat 05-Jun-10 13:25:28

we need more details on the knitted wank mitten shock confused

southeastastra Sat 05-Jun-10 13:26:45

omg at the hand knitted wanky hanky shock

muggglewump Sat 05-Jun-10 13:26:50

OMG. Knitted wank mittenshock

MillyR Sat 05-Jun-10 13:26:58

I am going to be haunted by the thought of that knitted mitten for years.

bashon Sat 05-Jun-10 13:29:15

no doubt he has a mitten fetish now... unable to ejaculate unless wrapped in wool.


lifeissweet Sat 05-Jun-10 13:36:54

Well - we found out about it about 12 years ago and have never quite got over it. I still can't look his mother in the face.

My friend went out with a man a couple of years ago who liked her to wear a big woolly jumper during sex. That brought it all back. I wonder whether this isn't more common than we realise.


Oh lordy! Wank mitten! I have spat my mug-o-noodles all over the computer!

SirBoobAlot Sat 05-Jun-10 13:40:20

Knitted wank mitten?! <boak> Big woolly jumper during sex?! <double boak>

Lifeissweet you have odd friends grin

AvadaKedavra Sat 05-Jun-10 13:40:41

When I opened this I have to admit I recalled the episode of Friends with Chandler's gym sock grin but a hand knitted wank mitten, wow, that's some mother love that is....... errr....... confused

bibbitybobbityhat Sat 05-Jun-10 13:41:56

(Knitted mitten funny but may I just roffle at Hully for a moment)

Meglet Sat 05-Jun-10 13:43:06

I can just imagine old ladies knitting wank mittens to sell at summer fetes alongside booties and cardigans.

itsonlyajob Sat 05-Jun-10 13:49:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImSoNotTelling Sat 05-Jun-10 13:51:27

Crying with laughter here grin

Knitting a wank-mitten is going above and beyond the call of motherly duty, surely!

I mean what did she say when she gave him the wank mitten? And he actually used it and gave it to her to wash? It's all just <gag>

KurriKurri Sat 05-Jun-10 13:52:58

One of my DS's flat mates used to wank into a sock. Just thought I'd sharegrin

dwpanxt Sat 05-Jun-10 13:59:41

There was one of those late saturday night programmes -Don't forget your toothbrush or possibly a Graham Norton offering. Anyway part of this programme was to embarrass members of the audience with things brought from home and shown to the public. Teddy bears on grown mens beds /decidedly iffy 'lucky' pants - that type of thing.Nothing too scandalous. Until one girls held up a sock. A normal ,sport type sock and handed it over the the host.He held it by fingertips and asked why this sock was embarrassing?
Of course it turned out to be her partners 'wank sock' which she graphically described in use. Poor partner had to sit while the audience screamed hysterically at the sock.

I wonder what happened in their relationship after the programme?.

blinks Sat 05-Jun-10 14:07:42

i've just set up a new WI and am going to put wank mitten knitting on't agenda.

I am, and will be disturbed for life now, lifeissweet

I wont be able to even look at my dear little DDs winter mittens in the same way anymore

THere are some very strange mums out there... above and beyond the mums remit IMHO. wink THank god I've got a far!

BTW Bashon I am assuming, as I think we all are, that you are referring to your son, and not your fella? shock

TheJollyPirate Sat 05-Jun-10 14:19:32

OFFS - is this my future with DS (now 7)? A load of wanky tissues or a knitted wank mit.

I am resigning as his mother right now.

MrsChemist Sat 05-Jun-10 14:23:12

Do you think he still uses his wank mitten? Maybe she knits him one every Christmas.

AvadaKedavra Sat 05-Jun-10 14:26:24

what colour was it originally grin any pattern to it?

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