To hav a day "off" from being a SAHM?

[ComeOVeneer]

Yesterday was the childrens' first day back at school/nursery and dh was at work. I decided to have a day off, so apart from the school runs and cooking supper for them and later dh an I I did nothing housework wise etc. DH was rather surprised when he got home (he assumed I would take advantage of the time to myself to spruce up the house after the chaos of the holidays). He occasionally takes a day off work and does nothing so why can't I do likewise?

[dustystar]

I've just done that today COV. Its so lovely to have some time to myself that i didn't want to waste it doing the housework - I'll do that tomorrow

[bozza]

cov I have read plenty of your posts. I doubt that your house was in a dire state despite you doing nothing yesterday (and I bet you still did load the dishwasher with the breakfast pots, make the beds etc). So no YANBU. But you have obviously given your DH unrealistic expectations of your devotion to the housework.

[ComeOVeneer]

Exactly. But dh made me feel guilty for doing it. It seems that if you go out to work you are entitled to take the day off but because your job is on your doorstep you can't get away from it. DH said it is like him going to the office and sitting at his desk all day doing nothe=ing

[beansprout]

Perhaps he could take a day's leave and revel in the cleaning instead?

[ComeOVeneer]

Bozza it is rather bad atm as we were all rather sick over the holidays so I let things slide. (I haven't finished taking the christmas decorations down yet ).

[tribpot]

So if it's like him going to the office and doing nothing, where are you meant to go for your day off? Would it have been alright if you had gone out for the day?!

[ComeOVeneer]

nothing.

[Bettergetabucket]

Yes but your dh isn't expected to be at the office 7 days a week!

[ComeOVeneer]

LOL tripot. I told him to count himself lucky I could have gone shopping for the day

[paulaplumpbottom]

Everyone deserves a day off

[McDreamy]

I've got the week off next week....I am coming back to the UK for a whole week on my own

[peacelily]

There's aboslutely nothing wrong with having a day off.

I do wonder tho after hearing from a few sahms about the housework thing. They say if they don't do EVERYTHING, every day the house goes to s**t. I work 4 days a week and apart from a bit of dust on the skirting board here and there my house is always clean and tidy.

Unless you live in a mansion is there really that much housework to do?! (I'm excluding when kids and off school in this comment cos I know then it's neverending)

[ComeOVeneer]

Its not just housework though is it? Its cleaning cooking shopping laundry, paperwrk regarding the house, phonecalls, bills, making arrangements and appointments, decorating, gardening, school runs, errands, after school clubs etc etc etc.

[peacelily]

Cleaning, cooking, laundry amd household paperwork all have to be absorbed into your workload whether you work or not. However I suppose there's a 60%/40% split in our house because we both work.

We take it in turns cooking and cleaning etc. I do a bit more but hey I notice it more

[peacelily]

We have to organise our life too, Drs appiontments etc. and we're constantly in the middle of home improvements.

[JodieG1]

If you're at work all day then you aren't in the house to make a mess though. Kids make a lot of mess and it does take a long time to do especially when they make more mess as you're dealing with it!

Obviously if you're in the house more then it will need cleaning more so that's why sahm's have more to do.

[morningpaper]

Personally I wouldn't take a day 'off' or even an hour off without consulting DH and seeing he was ok with it - but he never takes a day 'off' - his days off are looking after the children. If he has days off with nothing to do then it's only fair that you can too!

[peacelily]

My "days off" are spent looking after dd, atlone on my day off in the week and together with dh at the weekend. If I want time to myself I need to negotiate it with dh, ie if I'm going for a haircut or a yoga class, same with him if he plays badminton etc.

as for the domestic issue. yes during the school holidays and with pre-schoolers kids make a huge amount of mes, can 1 woman really make that much mess alone at home for 6 hours when they're back at school!?? And can't bills etc. shopping be done via the internet these days?

[peacelily]

If they're is stuff I really need to get on with (like currently doing an essay for post grad dip) I use my al days and do stuff when dd is in nursery.

[ComeOVeneer]

YOu wouldn't take an hour off without consulting dh and seeing if he was ok with it . I don't need dh's permission to have some time to myself. Likewise I don't expect hime to check with me if it is ok for him to book a day off work.

[bossykate]

sorry, i don't get this "you're out of the house so there's no mess". the dc are out for one meal per day - so we still have breakfast and lunch to manage and they play with their toys before and after school/nursery.

[Iota]

Good grief - I take a day off whenever I feel like it - today for example and in fact most of yesterday.

my dh would not dream of reproaching me - even if he were here to see the mess ( he's away for 10 days)

[ComeOVeneer]

BIlls etc can be done over the internet but you still have to actually do them. I don't spend all day every day doing house work, but I hoover 3 times a week (4 floors), clean the bathrooms twice a week(3.5 bathrooms), chancge beds weekly wash kitchen floor daily, one load of laundry (at least) daily, etc etc so it all adds up.

[peacelily]

So you do live in a mansion then