To be suddenly broody at 39?

(90 Posts)
broodymare Mon 12-Sep-16 20:46:24

We have one DD aged 7. At that time DH was still studying, we had financial issues and having one child seemed to fulfil our desire to be parents. We had no particular desire to have more and then the window seemed to pass. We drew a line under it and were completely fine with that.

Just recently I am having major doubts. I feel very bad that I haven't given DD any siblings as both DH and I are very involved with our own families. We are in a much better situation now financially and could easily afford another child (we would have been extremely stretched 3 or 4 years ago).

AIBU to be ridiculously broody and to just go for it? I'm aware my fertile window is getting smaller with the years and that this could be the last chance we have. Would I be mad to go back to the square one of sleepless nights and nappies? Has this happened to anyone else and did you get over it or go for it?

DerekSprechenZeDick Mon 12-Sep-16 20:48:01

You'd be mad to do it all again. Think I'm a few years the school run will be no more!

I could cry about that alone as my son is 7 and I'm having number 2 in 4 week. He will go to high school as she goes to nursery

broodymare Mon 12-Sep-16 20:49:23

I would be mad derek but you are doing it! I have even been looking at bugaboo pushchairs and thinking maybe I would get one this time. I might actually be completely going mad.

WalrusGumboot Mon 12-Sep-16 20:49:55

If you want it, go for it.

lilydaisyrose Mon 12-Sep-16 20:50:31

I'm not 39 but my youngest is 7 and I'm doing it all again!

What does your DH think? I certainly don't think you're mad.

broodymare Mon 12-Sep-16 20:51:17

I can't describe how completely out of the blue this is. I have gone from zero desire to have another child to looking at prams. Is this some kind of pre-menopausal trick my body is playing on me?

Ilovewineandcrisps Mon 12-Sep-16 20:51:41

do it! I have a 13 year old and a 9 month old! it's fab!

manyathingyouknow Mon 12-Sep-16 20:51:46

If, in your heart of hearts, it's what you want then do it. You have the benefit of experience and you'll be great at it.

Ilovewineandcrisps Mon 12-Sep-16 20:52:21

plus we are going to try for another, and I'm your age!

dogparkingbus4x4wanker Mon 12-Sep-16 20:52:26

If your dh is on board then go for it!

broodymare Mon 12-Sep-16 20:53:18

Thanks for your kind comments. Poor DH hasn't been sat down for a serious talk yet, I'm trying to grasp whether I really truly want this before landing this bombshell on him. He did say recently that we should have given DD a sibling and its something I have been thinking about too.

Derbyday Mon 12-Sep-16 20:53:33

I'm 39 and have kids in yr7. I've just done IVF so might be having another...

DerekSprechenZeDick Mon 12-Sep-16 20:53:35

If you and your husband are genuinely wanting another, go ahead.

My mum had 2 after the age of 38. They get away with a lot more than I did which I'm a little jealous of, they are 5&6 grin

broodymare Mon 12-Sep-16 20:54:13

ilovewineandcrisps good woman, don't get me started thinking about another one after this! That hadn't even crossed my mind!

ElspethFlashman Mon 12-Sep-16 20:54:32

Its pretty common, it coincides with the consciousness of your time running out. Its all fun and games till the choice isnt yours. Happened to me, actually.

But I had no kids when it struck - I would have been ambivalent at least if I had a 7 year old! Talk to your partner first and foremost.

SoftSheen Mon 12-Sep-16 20:54:33

Go for it. I know someone who had DC1 at 37 and then 7 years later (at 45) had twins!

broodymare Mon 12-Sep-16 20:54:46

Good luck to you Derbyday flowers

ProbablyMe Mon 12-Sep-16 20:55:14

I I felt the same - my ds's were 17, 15, 13 and 11 at the time - now I'm 42 and DS5 is 18 weeks grin Very glad we went for it.

stitchglitched Mon 12-Sep-16 20:55:52

I had DS when I was 28 and was never having any more. Then an unplanned pregnancy and miscarriage 6 years later left me ridiculously broody. I now have an 8 year old and a 20 month old toddler. It hasn't been easy going back to the baby stages again but she is fabulous, DS adores her and we wouldn't change a thing. If it's what you want then go for it!

broodymare Mon 12-Sep-16 20:56:04

I should have posted on that thread the other day about the stereotypes you conform to- suddenly broody with 40 on the horizon has to count.

broodymare Mon 12-Sep-16 20:56:59

Gosh its interesting to hear these stories. Not all neat little families of two children with a two year age gap (most of my friends seem to have done this and I always feel like I haven't quite done it the right way).

Kr1stina Mon 12-Sep-16 20:57:47

Don't do it to give your child a sibling. An 8 or 9 year gap doesn't really make a play mate .

Do it because you and DH want another baby . No other reason .

NavyandWhite Mon 12-Sep-16 20:59:14

My youngest three have a 7 year age gap because I kept getting "broody" and imo the gaps are far too big, they have nothing in common.

Don't do it.

broodymare Mon 12-Sep-16 21:00:33

Hmmm I do realise I've missed the boat in terms of them playing together. But as DD gets older I'm starting to think of the bigger picture and what it means to be an only child (not the end of the world but not ideal in many ways). I think age gaps matter less when you grow up.

DerekSprechenZeDick Mon 12-Sep-16 21:02:22

There's an age gap of 20 years between me and the youngest sibling. We play together! grin

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