Missing £50 candle- is it my cleaner?

(235 Posts)
MotherHen3 Sun 19-Jun-16 09:36:40

So had a really rotten few weeks at work and as a treat my husband bought me a really extravagant scented candle ...brought home and opened--wonderful smell filled whole house- 2 days later - it was gone.....This was on a day I had builders downstairs and an electrician in the house and 2 delivery men and my ( female ) cleaner who has worked for me for about 3 years....

I have turned the house upside down looking for this in the hope that someone had broken it- rather than being stolen--but it was big- and not easily mislaid-- my husband says I am overreacting but it has totally freaked me out to think someone in my house has stolen from me---he also says there is no way a man would steal a candle.....

I have asked everyone about it and all know nothing-- I have told the cleaner that I spend all weekend looking for the candle ( true ) and that I am really upset as it was a present from my husband---I hoped this might make it re-appear!

I have had previous issues with cleaner asking to borrow money from me-- which I did on one occasion as she said she was desperate ( and a good cleaner in an area where hard to get a cleaner )--but she then started asking to borrow more money and then asking me to pay her 2 weeks in advance etc etc as she was desperate.....

I have also recently reduced halved her hours as we had ongoing building work and dust which has now finished- so gone back to usual hours---which she was not happy about.....

I have no evidence at all re the candle so don't see how I can accuse her of anything-but builders have been on site for 6 months with no problems
and as my husband says- surely they would nick something better than a candle ( even though it was especially lovely!)

...it is literally driving me nuts trying to work out where it has gone ( have turned house upside down ) and who would have taken it

...I am starting to think it can only be a woman and that maybe it wasn't just about nicking something- but a bit of a revenge thing for me halving my cleaners hours....but I have no evidence so don't see how I can sack her....thoughts gratefully received--I value trustworthiness above all else as I am a really private person and actually find it difficult having someone in my house to clean but have got used to her over 3 years ( I work full time and have 4 children so need a cleaner)

IamNotDarling Sun 19-Jun-16 09:38:10

Why don't you just ask everyone in your house if they have seen it? Take it from there.

TeaBelle Sun 19-Jun-16 09:38:28

Why does her gender have anything to do with this? This is an awful post, hope it's a joke. Poor cleaner

branofthemist Sun 19-Jun-16 09:40:00

he also says there is no way a man would steal a candle.....

What a crock of shit. Sorry. But firstly my dh loves seventies candles and is more likely to buy them than me.

Secondly (let's say only women like scented candles) do these men not know any women they would give it to?

If your cleaner stole it to sell, why wouldn't a man steal it to sell?

Sounds like you don't really like or trust your cleaner and would be entree letting her go. Unless you have more to go on, rather than just 'she borrowed money before and has a vagina'

branofthemist Sun 19-Jun-16 09:41:11

scented candles. No idea what a seventies candle is grin

YouAreMySweetestDownfall Sun 19-Jun-16 09:41:41

You have four children. Maybe one of them broke it and hid the evidence.

Kennington Sun 19-Jun-16 09:41:42

It is more likely someone, perhaps in your family, knocked it over and it broke and it got chucked. Perhaps?

snowy508601 Sun 19-Jun-16 09:42:51

I once thought cleaner had taken something , fortunately I didn't act because I late found it down the back of a chest of drawers - but it taught me a lesson.I think anyone is very unlikely to nick a candle

I would start my enquiries with the kids, if I were you

venusinscorpio Sun 19-Jun-16 09:42:58

You can't accuse your cleaner on the strength of her being a woman! If it really has been stolen, it's quite possible one of the many men you had coming through the house knew it was expensive or a visitor you haven't thought about took it. It's small and portable, so would be easy to take without anyone noticing immediately.

There is no reason "it can only have been a woman". Have a word with yourself OP.

HighwayDragon1 Sun 19-Jun-16 09:43:12

Unless the candle is solely operated by a vagina then I'm fairly sure anyone could have stolen it.

Micah Sun 19-Jun-16 09:43:27

Why would a man not take it? People don't only steal stuff they personally want, they steal for others, to sell, for the rush...

It sounds like there were a few people in and out so you can't say who took it. Anyone could have knocked it off and broken it, and just binned thinking it's only a candle.

TBF I wouldn't have a clue you can buy candles for £50 anyway.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 19-Jun-16 09:43:41

My first thought was someone knocked it over.

ChicRock Sun 19-Jun-16 09:44:40

I'd get rid of the cleaner purely because of the asking to borrow money from you and you no longer trust her. She sounds unprofessional with dodgy boundaries.

AdelindSchade Sun 19-Jun-16 09:44:45

Seventies candles, I was thinking of those fancy marbled ones with all the loops.

ohtheholidays Sun 19-Jun-16 09:46:23

OP what about the electrician and delivery guys,you said how long the builders have been on site and nothing going missing before and you've mentioned the cleaner but not about following up with the electrician or delivery guys?

I'd be checking up with them first also have you checked your DC rooms?Have any of them had any friends round?I know it sounds strange but I've had things go missing in the past and it had been taken home by one of the DC's friends.

differentnameforthis Sun 19-Jun-16 09:47:08

Have you had anything go missing before?

I find it odd that you blame the cleaner, when she has worked for you for 3yrs (and you didn't mention other things missing) and no issues, yet you have had had more people in your house recently, but that doesn't raise your suspicions.

You say it could inly be a woman, perhaps a man could have taken it as a "present" for his wife/gf.

Or perhaps someone broke it?

AnotherTimeMaybe Sun 19-Jun-16 09:50:47

TBF I wouldn't have a clue you can buy candles for £50 anyway.
Molton brown does a couple for that price, what a waste of money!

OP you had so many working in your house, I reckon there was an accident somewhere

schbittery Sun 19-Jun-16 09:52:10

one of your kids is far more likely to be respinsibke id have thought. i think most cleaners are very unlikely to steal froma client because they know theyd immediately come under suspicion. if she was tempted, surely shed be more likely to go for something small like money or jjewellry, not a large candle that would immediatly be noticed as missing.

hotdiggedy Sun 19-Jun-16 09:52:15

I suppose it could have been any of them really, either taking it or breaking it. have a look on ebay perhaps?

What brand was it? I'm interested in knowing what candle can make the whole house smell nice.

itsmine Sun 19-Jun-16 09:53:37

Yes clearly it was the female cleaner confused.

Or, more realistically accidental broken by dc/workmen whoever.

Instead of 'drivng yourself nuts', accept it has gone, you won't find out where or by whom no matter how much you flap about it.

If you do think your <female> cleaner isn't trustworthy then ask her not to return. You really can't accuse anyone. Though I'd bet on dc myself.

tibbawyrots Sun 19-Jun-16 09:53:53

If you halved your cleaner's hours due to circumstances beyond her control ie building work on your home then I think you should have paid her the same as usual.

Laiste Sun 19-Jun-16 09:54:37

2 days later - it was gone.....This was on a day I had builders downstairs and an electrician in the house and 2 delivery men and my ( female ) cleaner who has worked for me for about 3 years....

And 4 kids. Depending on their ages I'd think kids first, then delivery men, tbh. Then electrician, then builders. Cleaner last - she's got the most to loose.

venusinscorpio Sun 19-Jun-16 09:57:20

I didn't notice the bit about the hours. Yes that was a bit shitty. It's not her fault you chose to have work done, she still has to make a living.

SharonBottsPoundOfGrapes Sun 19-Jun-16 09:58:09

We had a cleaner when I was a kid. I saw some money on the hallway windowsill and pocketed it. It was roughly £4 in change. I came back from the shops having spent my haul on sweets and drinks. My mum was questioning the cleaner about this sudden disappearance of the window cleaning money. It earned me a beating and a grounding but I owned up immediately. She still walked out anyway. This lady would mind us, cook pancakes, take us to her home for cake, buy us presents etc. She was like a grandma to us. I felt guilty for years about this lovely lady. She came to thank me and said it wasn't my fault. It wasn't til I was a lot older I agreed with her. My mum should have looked at all possibilities before accusing her. If she'd have asked me if have confessed immediately and apologised. It helped me when a similar situation arose. A dab radio went missing when we'd had builders in. Dh suspected them but I told the kids that I wasn't mad but if it was in their rooms or hidden somewhere then we needed to know. Ds took his time but eventually handed it over with the speaker squashed in. I'm so glad Dh didn't confront the builders before that.

Marynary Sun 19-Jun-16 09:59:17

It could have been anyone. Don't you have anything better to steal than a candle? I'm not sure that anyone (apart from you would guess it was worth £50) so I think it was probably broken and thrown away rather than stolen. Anyone could have done that too though. If it was your cleaner, no doubt she will still something else so I think you should wait and see what happens.

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