To send these cards during the summer hols?

(181 Posts)
Bocolatechiscuit Wed 30-Jul-14 06:54:51

I'm a secondary school teacher, and as you will know, the end of year gifts tend to tail off to almost nothing as children move to high school (I don't actually believe in teacher gifts as I see it as doing the job I'm paid to do and absolutely adore, but that's a whole other thread).

This year though, I was given presents from three students. They caught me in the corridor and gave me the gifts in pretty gift bags with a card inside. As it was the last day and I was rushing to lessons, assemblies etc I thanked them profusely of course but didn't open the bags there and then. When I opened them later, they have gone to huge effort, buying personalised gifts and have all written such lovely things in their cards about how they have enjoyed my lessons this year and learned so much etc etc.

So...I'd like to send them a thank you card. I've bought a pack of small cards and am thinking of sending them to their home address which I can easily get from the school system. I'm not going to be teaching them in September unfortunately and in any case feel it's too long to wait to say thank you. I'd like to send a card each, thanking them for their gift, telling them it was a delight to teach them (it genuinely was-fantastic students with lovely bubbly personalities, amazing senses of humour and such a desire to learn) and wishing them a lovely holiday.

Something's holding me back though and I don't quite know why. I've had the cards a week and still not sent them. Is this a nice thing to do like I think it is or is sending them to their home address a bit ott?

Delphiniumsblue Thu 31-Jul-14 09:16:42

And a special present, with letters, deserves more than a 'profuse thanks' in a corridor when rushing to a lesson.

Delphiniumsblue Thu 31-Jul-14 09:10:28

It seems to me, JustAShopGirl, that you want to keep the teacher firmly in her place as Just a Teacher- and not allow that you can have a special teacher that your children value.

Delphiniumsblue Thu 31-Jul-14 09:08:32

She was being polite- she would have thanked them profusely whatever. It was once she opened them that she wanted to make a personal thank you to say how touched she was by the gesture. Why can't she? I'm sure that most parents are not so miserable that they can't understand that.

JustAShopGirl Thu 31-Jul-14 09:05:47

but she did thank them profusely for the gifts. she just didn't open them there and then. As far as the children were concerned they were thanked.

Delphiniumsblue Thu 31-Jul-14 09:02:47

OP didn't see the giver to thank them- that is the entire point! It was when she opened them and saw how much trouble they had been to finding a personal gift that she wanted to thank them properly.

JustAShopGirl Thu 31-Jul-14 08:59:50

I do write thank you letters, when I have not seen the giver to thank them in person.

I write a thank you to thank someone - if I have thanked them already it is superfluous- and therefore not to thank them but for some other reason - duty/showmanship/whatever.

Delphiniumsblue Thu 31-Jul-14 08:49:38

I suppose it depends on whether you are a person who writes thank you letters and makes your child write them. I am, and so am grateful for adults setting good examples. To say that you get a never ending round is ridiculous-that is not how it works.

JustAShopGirl Thu 31-Jul-14 08:43:41

my dc have received thank you cards at primary school - they have also received "excellent effort" postcards from secondary - I have no issues at all with a thank you or a card from school.

A thank you in person was fine in secondary - why people feel the need to write to say thank you for a thank you present they have already thanked the giver for profusely in person is beyond me.

It smacks of over-egging the relationship...
The child has been thanked - what would another thank you be for?

I see a never ending round of "thank you for your thank you present, I know I already thanked you in person, but thought I'd thank you again on a card", "no - thank you for your lovely thank you card"..... etc....

Delphiniumsblue Thu 31-Jul-14 07:01:02

I think that if the pupils are lovely enough to go to all that trouble they will have lovely parents. It is highly unlikely they are going to have the suspicious, miserable types who misinterpret it and get upset about 'misuse of data'.

EthicalPickle Thu 31-Jul-14 01:01:17

My DC have received similar cards from teachers and we thought they were lovely. They were little cards with a short note it. smile

BlinkAndMiss Thu 31-Jul-14 00:50:51

It's the nice sort of gesture I would think about doing. Then I think about some of the over reactions we've had to deal with as a school to seemingly innocent and reasonable things over the years and remember that it's just not worth it.

Unfortunately, some people react like a few people have on this thread, using comments such as "misuse of data" and "stalkerish". There are some people who see malice in very action and who are hell bent on getting people into trouble. And then there are the downright paranoid.

Don't do it, the career you love and are despised for is not worth it.

I'm getting bitter in my old age but having to be answerable to unreasonable people for 20 years will do that to a person.

CeliaBowen Wed 30-Jul-14 23:56:54

In the "olden days" you could get anyone's address from the phone book. Lots of people ar now ex-directory, but some aren't. If you know the surname and parents' names, easy peasy!

So the DPA argument is true but still ridiculous.

Anyway, DD's teacher sent me a facebook message to say thanks for her present (primary). We is mates, we is! grin

SignoraStronza Wed 30-Jul-14 23:52:46

My dd (primary age though) received such a thank you card from her teacher today. She was absolutely chuffed to bits that her teacher had sent her a personal thank you.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Wed 30-Jul-14 23:41:47

It's worth remembering that these people are not just some random beings , they are teaching our children every day, they've already been vetted etc. I always presumed teachers had access to pupils' addresses anyway. When ds was ill after an op his teacher called in to see how he was.

stealthsquiggle Wed 30-Jul-14 23:38:20

My DC have had thank you letters from teachers over the holidays. confused by those saying it is weird and stalkery.

NCFTTB Wed 30-Jul-14 23:34:37

Definitely send them - the students will be delighted to receive them! I think the reason most teachers don't send thank you letters to the children through the post over the summer is simply the price of stamps!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Wed 30-Jul-14 23:33:39

We've had a card sent to our home address from a teacher, it was lovely and felt really special.smile

inabeautifulplace Wed 30-Jul-14 23:24:23

Send the cards dammit!

The DPA is there for many reasons. This isn't one of them.

SallyMcgally Wed 30-Jul-14 22:59:09

Thoroughly depressing. And I say thank you for a thank you gift, just as for any other gift.
Those girls would have been over the moon, OP, I bet.
Could you maybe send them a lovely email on the school email system? Not the same , I know, but something.
You sound a lovely teacher.

Muddlewitch Wed 30-Jul-14 22:39:01

Both DDs got cards through the post from their teachers, it's not the first time either. Primary though, if that makes any difference. They loved it and I thought it was nice too.

HouseofEliot Wed 30-Jul-14 22:37:28

We have had a few thank you notes during the holidays. Dd1's teacher sent a personalised letter to each child with pictures of them throughout the year round it. It must have taken her ages. Each one was individual to each child and she put at the end 'I may not be your teacher anymore but come and see me anytime if you need to chat'.

Delphiniumsblue Wed 30-Jul-14 22:31:37

They are ex directory because they don't want to be looked up by anyone- not because they want to hide from people they know ,who want to thank them!

Delphiniumsblue Wed 30-Jul-14 22:04:10

Maybe so- I am just pointing out it is easy! We don't even know they are ex directory!

jaynebxl Wed 30-Jul-14 21:56:28

Even if they are ex directory they are generally easy to find on the Internet.

But there's a reason people go ex directory, ie they don't want people finding their address and contacting them!

curiousuze Wed 30-Jul-14 20:33:01

OP please don't let the paranoid, sad, ridiculous comments on here make the world that bit more miserable. It's a kind, sweet and HUMAN thing that you want to do. Make the gesture, just do it! Send some joy out into the universe smile

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