Why are the richest always the tightest?

(123 Posts)
KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 10-May-14 19:33:30

I have friends from all backgrounds. I myself had a middle class upbringing, but both parents are very working class and proud. We were always raised to have respect for money etc

In life I have met some very rich people, at uni my best mate was the richest girl there. She was lovely, but very stingy with her cash. Not with me, I just mean in general.

One of my other mates is also very tight fisted, yet shes bloody loaded. Most of my mates who are normal to skint are very generous and tip Etc.

We are comfortable, not loaded though. I am generous and tip and certainly not a 'taker'.

Its seems the biggest 'takers' in life always see to be the rich. They think nothing of coming over time and time as in for tea/ borrowing money / but never invite people to theirs. Try to dodge outa payin for their share of meals etc.

AIBU to think that rich folk often seem rather tight? Is this why they are loaded!

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 10-May-14 19:37:22

Often that is exactly why they're loaded!

Erm not sure that I agree. I can think of examples of people that I know who are wealthy and money consumes their thoughts constantly. I also know very generous wealthy people. I think if you are less well off and know what it's like to have hard times you might be more inclined to be more generous because you know what it's like. However I know some incredibly tight lower income folk. I really don't think there seems to be a pattern.

youbethemummylion Sat 10-May-14 19:45:29

It is often the way, when we take the Santa Sleigh around at Christmas collecting for charity the days we do the council estates we get far more (more than double) what we get when we go to the nice private estates. I think when you don't have much you have more empathy for others that rely on charity.

Annarose2014 Sat 10-May-14 19:46:22

As above ^. Thats why they're loaded.

I come from a fairly well-off but spectacularly tight family. My Dad won't shop anywhere but Lidl and Aldi, and has never bought a new car in his life. We never had foreign holidays, and they only got central heating in last year. When I was growing up I wore jumpers to bed and had 7 blankets!

We have a limit of £25 for Christmas presents! To this day! If we've spent a bit more (say £40) everyone goes "OoooOOOoooh!" shock

BUT he was happy to give us all deposits for property - bricks 'n mortar, y'see. As a result we all have quite small mortgages, which is better than all the foreign holidays in the world. But I suspect he was only able to give us that cos he was so tight all along!

TucsonGirl Sat 10-May-14 19:46:36

Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.

Icimoi Sat 10-May-14 19:47:29

Someone involved with a charity that helps disabled children told me that what they described as the moneyed middle classes were some of the most grabby. Whereas the poorest families they helped would regularly make donations in gratitude, it always tended to be people from the MMC who would treat them as if they were the NHS, complain like hell if they didn't get the 'service' they thought they were entitled to, and never make a donation. It wasn't universal, of course, but it happened often enough to be noticeable.

beepingbeep Sat 10-May-14 19:47:47

They're the richest cos they're the tightest!

sassysally Sat 10-May-14 19:50:05

how do you think they get rich?

Bowlersarm Sat 10-May-14 19:52:14

No. My richest friends are the most generous.

Yeah, ILs are a bit like this.

He's a "professional" (now retired) who apparently earned more money than I could ever dream of hmm and she went to private schools, then finishing school then became a "housewife and mother" - her terms (aka a lady wot lunches).

He won't turn the heating on "as it's too expensive" so in the winter there is no need to put anything in the fridge (a bottle of water froze in their "storeroom" hmm ) and she haggles in charity shops. Classy.

BravePotato Sat 10-May-14 19:55:14

I was just thinking this.

Friends with minor royals, and they are the tightest of all my friends.

Whilst the mist amazing meal I ever had (slow cooked rib eye, great wine) was at friends who were very very hard up.

Mixed with lots of rich folk, and IMO they think nothing if spending 20k on a horse but are very tight hosts/guests!

WooWooOwl Sat 10-May-14 19:56:15

That's not my experience. I'm more used to the wealthy people I know being generous, but they're choosy about who and what they are generous with. They will give big tips, but only when it's warranted. They will pay for more drinks, but only for close and loyal friends.

Those I know that are very wealthy are the same. They are generous but you would always think so because their generosity comes in the form of large and discreet charity donations to charities they care about, rather than a couple of quid to every charity that presents an opportunity.

I have known a few people who have more money than most be less generous than they could be because they don't want to be taken advantage of, usually because they have been before, and once bitten twice shy.

Mummylion, I think your judgement is incredibly unfair. You don't know that those on the private estate have more disposable cash than those on the council estate, and quite often they probably don't. People live to their means and those with higher income probably also have higher outgoings, so it's reasonable to think they may have less to spare. And unless you have seen all their bank statements then you have no idea which of the two groups make regular or generous direct debit donations.

HotSauceCommittee Sat 10-May-14 19:58:46

"Those with the most screw us with the least". Ever heard that, OP? In my case it applied to the trustafarians at uni. The tights fuckers would be moaning about how skint they were, then stupid old me would buy a round as that was what you did even on an overdraft. I'd then discover they had huge and amazing trust funds that they could dip into anytime they wanted. Fuck that.

Perhaps there are different types of rich? Those who are used to it, have had the benefit of good upbringings, who share (obviously within reason) and are generally kind hearted souls, and those who are just greedy money grabbing tossers? (wild generalisation there!)

onlywhenitsraininginmadrid Sat 10-May-14 19:59:24

There is a difference between tight and careful with money.

Careful with money = shopping at cheaper places, buying second hand car etc

Tight = not getting your round in, not sponsoring a friend doing something for charity etc

I have rich friends who are the former but not the latter

WooWooOwl Sat 10-May-14 20:04:19

Trust funds have generally not been provided by parents or grandparents for people to dip into whenever they want to buy a round for uni mates.

The trust funds I know of cannot just be dipped into willy nilly when the beneficiary fancies a night on the piss and wants to pop down to the hole in the wall with their cash card. The money is protected. That's why it's called a trust fund rather than a bank balance.

x2boys Sat 10-May-14 20:05:12

Maybe it depends on background my uncle is a millionaire has a lovely bhouse with several acres of garden and also a house in Cyprus he is always quite generous he will host most of the family parties probably as he has the room but he was brought up in a terrace house in a rough part of Manchester he made his own money ,my dad is his older brother whereas my dad does not have nearly as much money as him he is certainly not struggling but he is quite tight he would never see either myself or my sister and our families without he would be outraged to buy a takeaway for example and does love aldi!!!

RabbitSaysWoof Sat 10-May-14 20:07:52

I worked for a family who had me sewing up holes in second hand school jumpers that had already had the amount of wear they were made for before purchasing from school lost property, they had a swimming pool ffs.

Nancy66 Sat 10-May-14 20:13:01

not always - look at all those lottery and pools winners who spent the lot and are now broke again

LindaMcCartneySausage Sat 10-May-14 20:13:32

Hmmm, FIL. Without giving too much away, he's made a lot of money and is now extremely wealthy. Worked hard all his life, but mainly chose very shrewd investments and reinvested everything.

But flippin' heck he's tight!! shock Shops at Lidl, refuses to switch on the heating in the depths of winter, darns his own socks, patches his own roof rather than pay a roofer, has never been on a holiday - ever. Wouldn't give to charity, refuses to eat out due to the horrendous expense (this would include his local Harvester)

But he came from abject poverty. Raised by a single mother after his dad died, one of 8 kids. I get why he's tight.

Sneezecakesmum Sat 10-May-14 20:14:54

DH has a farmers widow as a so called friend.

He keeps bees for both of them and guess who ends up footing the bill for all the equipment while she keeps most of the honey which she sells at farmers markets!

She recently sold of some land for 2 fecking million pounds!

Taz1212 Sat 10-May-14 20:16:43

The wealthiest people I know sit on the boards of various charities and do an incredible amount of fundraising. Day to day they may or may not be the most generous <varies by individual> but I wouldn't call any of them "tight".

RiverTam Sat 10-May-14 20:17:01

could be different values, without knowing details it's hard to say. My dad lived a relatively frugal life (did everything in the garden and house himself, own brands all the way, generally pretty tight - that kind of thing). But he paid for our schooling and university, he paid the deposits on houses not just for me and my sister but for at least 2 cousins that I know of, and when he died unexpectedly left us a lot of money. A lot. Which depressed me in a way as I thought it a bit sad he didn't enjoy his money more when he had the chance.

My point is on the face of it you would think he was well-off but tight. But he was very generous with the things he thought important, like education and property.

I never give to charities collecting - because I donate by direct debit, I donate a lot of stuff to charity shops, and I buy a lot in charity shops.

Meloria Sat 10-May-14 20:19:39

Good for your FIL! Why should he pay a roofer if he can do it himself, and why shop at Waitrose for your beans when you can get them in Aldi.

All of the examples quoted in previous posts are thriftiness, not miserliness. No one is denying a child money for medicine or clean clothes. If they choose to re-use and repair clothes or to have their heating off then good for them. Doesn't stop any of us doing what we like with our heating and our wardrobes.

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