To be upset (and a bit cross) that no one is coming to our party?

(129 Posts)
ethelb Wed 29-Jan-14 17:57:46

DP and I are throwing a housewarming party this Saturday. We have had a difficult 18 minths due to DP job loss and a very difficult past three months where a manic Christmas with business meant I pretty much saw and spoke to no one for a couple of months. Which is why I wanted to get everyone together to see all the people I have missed so much.
However, out of 46 people we have invited only seven people have responded and only one of them to say they can come.
This is after we cancelled a get together in december (to celebrate christmas rush being over) due to only one person being able to make it.

Am i being unreasonable to be utterly fucked off?

AnnaBegins Sun 02-Feb-14 18:37:56

Aw OP that is pretty shit. Is it maybe because you've moved a bit further out? I find that London people (and indeed people who have recently moved to London so should know better) tend to be so London centric that travelling anywhere is completely off their radar!

I had a birthday party in the summer, gave a month's notice, did a facebook email (so not an event, a private group message) to about 20 or so friends with immediate follow up text to say please check facebook. The 3 couples who came all travelled over an hour, one couple travelling 2 hours each way, and surprise surprise are all midlands based. All those who lived in London either didn't reply or said, oh it's too far away. It's 50 mins by train from Euston and I'll happily pick up from the station! The date had even been checked in advance with one of my best friends who then said, no that doesn't suit me.

What made it even more galling was that another friend had a facebook message thread at the same time inviting people to her London housewarming a week later and the same people who said no or gave no answer to mine were very enthusiastic about going to hers! Of course I went too, as it's not far to London...

If people expect you to make the effort for their birthdays/weddings/babies etc then they need to do likewise for you! Sounds like some straight talking is needed as they may not realise how you feel.

Ilovexmastime Mon 03-Feb-14 12:23:00

I'd just like to add, after re-reading my post, that I didn't mean to imply that you were a bad friend, rather that your 'close' friends are. It may be time to look for new friends.

newyearhere Mon 03-Feb-14 12:51:57

> I find that London people (and indeed people who have recently moved to London so should know better) tend to be so London centric that travelling anywhere is completely off their radar!

Yes I've found just the same with some people. They're happy to see you if you're in London but won't bother to venture anywhere else. It's as if it were a different planet sometimes!

RawShark Mon 03-Feb-14 13:07:09

Try not to take it personally. The majority of my friends make no effort with me and after fifteen years and actually coming to the conclusion I am not that bad I figure it is just the way my dynamic works. Or summat. Still lay awake feeling lonely last night though even though I put a program of focussing on people who actually contact me into practice!

I don't think three months is a long time to be out of touch at all, especially as you have been so frazzled. People who suggest this makes you a bad friend are clearly overly high maintenance themselves.Maybe just streamline your address book to the people who make time for you and stop chasing after those more casual friendships .

And get it out of your system on here so no snarky comments sneak past your lips in real life...

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