to ask if anyone has been 'outed' in rl from mn?

(145 Posts)
newfavouritething Sun 19-May-13 21:41:41

It seems to crop up from time to time on some threads that some posters say that they're afraid of being outed in rl? Does this or has this actually happened? Is there really that many people reading this? Or is it just paranoia?

ArtexMonkey Tue 21-May-13 23:23:40

As far as I now, no one from rl has recognised me, although some of my friends know I am on mn, and I recall one bloke I know going on about having lurked on the Center parcs anal thread (But that op wasn't me MMKAY?).

I have a really good friend from rl who I know is a mner but she hardly posts, and another really good friend who purely lurks. But I try not to go on about real stuff too much, and I'm very boring really, so it dunt matter I hope.

Helenagrace Tue 21-May-13 23:30:14

Not outed as such but I had coffee with a friend around the time that there was a really long running thread about being organised in AIBU. LaQueen and I were on the thread quite a bit. My friend mentioned the thread and mentioned this poster on there who had some great ideas who posted as HelenaGrace.

I fessed up.

I identified my SIL on here. She spotted me. She's name changed I think. I haven't - despite frequently posting about my awful inlaws. She agrees with me!

Lioninthesun Tue 21-May-13 23:43:25

I have no problems with friends in RL knowing who I am, it is the stalker on here I name change for. Prob due another one now then!

BergholtStuttleyJohnson Tue 21-May-13 23:50:35

I recognised a friend on here when started a thread that was the same as her facebook status. I thought it had to be her so clicked on her profile and she had pictures so I know it was. The thread wasn't anything personal, she was asking about a baby product. I never told her and have forgotten her name. She knows I know she's on here but not sure if she knows how I know.

PimpMyHippo Wed 22-May-13 00:17:27

It's quite interesting that so many people who have had negative experiences with being "outed" continue to post on here, I think. Maybe I'm a wimp but when it happened to me on another forum I didn't dare go back, even with a namechange. blush People who've had their jobs threatened or even been stalked, what brings you back?

Lioninthesun Wed 22-May-13 00:39:56

I wasn't going to let her beat me! I enjoy it here and as far as I know I was 'ere first wink
This is the only forum I am on and, although I over share on FB, one of my few links to new ideas and friends. Not going to spoil that for one nutjob smile

LittleMissLucy Wed 22-May-13 00:43:52

A few years ago someone I knew in RL I think, tried to find me on here with questions about how people met their other halves. It was probably the only story about my life she actually knew. And the way she wrote her threads was very much in the same vein as the way she spoke - everything was "lovely ladies, gorgeous ones etc" though having said that, a lot of people on here speak that way.

RonaldMcDonald Wed 22-May-13 00:51:25

yy my friends know who i am on here

EatenByZombies Wed 22-May-13 01:59:48

Of course they do, you're the McDonalds clown, what numpty wouldn't recognize you? shock


grin

Good grief, where is the Centre parcs anal thread?????

LaQueen Wed 22-May-13 07:57:31

Pimp I don't know about others, but for me I actually saw it as a weird type of bullying? And, I really don't like bullying.

Pimp, I love this place and it would take more than a stalky ex or a rl crossover to spook me away.

I post less and I'm a bit more circumspect nowadays, but I'm quite obviously me.

TunipTheVegedude Wed 22-May-13 10:09:43

Pimp - there are different approaches you can take.
You can assume everything you write is identifiable and never write anything you wouldn't be happy with the whole world knowing you'd said. That's what I try to do. When I joined Twitter I did it under my own name for precisely the same reason. (Makes me a nicer person online, too.)

Alternatively I know people who've had bad experiences and just become much more security-conscious about what they post: frequent namechanges, nothing identifiable and even deliberate red herrings.

I agree with LaQ. Why be bullied into silence?

arcticwaffle Wed 22-May-13 21:34:17

I used to post all sorts of personal stuff under my old name, but a few people recognised me, I didn't mind people knowing personal details cos I'm not that private, I'd tell my life story to a stranger after half a glass of wine anyway.

But I realised I was too obvious about my work and too identifiable about that, so I namechanged and became boringly reserved.

Helenagrace I think you're my sil aren't you? We share the same problem relatives?

Letitsnow9 Thu 23-May-13 08:58:51

Ive always wondered why everyone on here is always posting of not wanting to be outed in RL and worry a friend will know its them. I've never known any other message board where so many people say that

Lioninthesun Thu 23-May-13 12:13:10

I think because people on here can be in very scary situations - DV and EA for example not everyone wants people in their town to know, but need the advice.
I shouldn't really care, because the funny thing is if my ex sees my posts he will recognise himself (and therefore know it is me) because I have been truthful on here about him. If it wasn't true he wouldn't know it was me grin The stalker on the other hand is just a meddling, bored housewife.

fromparistoberlin Thu 23-May-13 12:18:33

some people are way to free and easy on here, I wince for them

I am am fairly open BUT try to cut back some data and I name change alot , well not alot as I've had this for a year now!!!!

what solari said

Pigsmummy Thu 23-May-13 12:26:21

I actually wanted a friend to spot me on here having a dig at her but I had to have a chat in RL instead! Would have been easier on MN I think.

I'm happy if people recognise under this name. But if I need to post/ask anything that is sensitive, I'd name change for that.

The DCs and DP are aware of this name, but no-one else is, although people are aware I post on MN.

I post as if it'll be picked up by people who know me in RL anyway.

Lara2 Thu 23-May-13 21:17:13

I've never been outed in RL, but have just sorted out my new class for next year (year R) and recognised one of the names on list from local MN.
Interestingly she gave away so much info, that it would have been hard to miss her!smile

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