Dd1 aged 13 wants to go to a party tomorrow......

(140 Posts)
Xroads Thu 21-Feb-13 08:43:28

wearing these

and some wet look leggings (which she wants to buy today, I've said I think it will look tarty for her age) and a top.

She thinks its ok to spend all her money on the shoes and leggings (£35) and not leave enough to buy drinks whilst at the party. I said she will get dehydrated.

AIBU to not allow her to go? (she has already been grounded for the past 2 days so it was touch and go as to whether she was allowed to go anyway)

The party includes getting ready at her friends house and staying over after btw.

ps I have pmt so I am aware I may be unreasonable, hence the question.

Remotecontrolduck Sat 23-Feb-13 00:25:29

Nice to see she's picked a slightly more conservative outfit now though smile

SamuelWestsMistress Sat 23-Feb-13 00:29:51

For any future posters like OP who are having teenager footwear issues...just let me know if you want me to post pictures of my big fat freaky bunions to put them off!!

But I still won't admit to my mother she was right...

AngryBeaver Sat 23-Feb-13 09:42:56

northern, you may be right...but,fuck, I hope not!
I am hoping that having moved away from the "sleb culture" we will not have to go through all of this!

LaQueen Sat 23-Feb-13 16:52:36

We were the last of our social group to start a family, so all our friends have children 12/13/14... none of them dress in the kinda stuff the OP is talking about hmm

The overwhelming look even for parties, seems very dress-down and slightly tom-boy-ish, but with make-up and quite elaborate but messy up-dos smile

But, nothing even remotely revealing, or body-con, or 'wet-look leggings with heels' hmm

SarahBumBarer Sat 23-Feb-13 17:07:38

Did I click on the right link? They're mary-jane style wedges yes. Perfectly fine for a 13 year old.

Anyway, I think her revised look sounds lovely - sophisticated and a bit hip (although I think hip is a seriously un-hip word)

AngryBeaver Sat 23-Feb-13 20:00:40

Am totally with you LaQueen, although we seem to be in the minority. I am mystified.

I think wet look legging (which resemble pvc???) are far from suitable for a <mega phone> THIRTEEN YEAR OLD!

And wedges are heels. Why would 13 year old need to wear high heels?

I just don't see why we are supporting our daughter's in their desire to look like 16/17/18 year olds.

You lot are making me feel like a conservative old fart! (I am 34)

Non of the girls around here dress like that, thank fuck. I think they'd stand out a mile if they did and be ridiculed.

AngryBeaver Sat 23-Feb-13 20:07:49

I just read out some of this thread to dh.
He said "is this in England?" I said it was.
He laughed and said, "you wouldn't get that from the girls here, they's wear baseball boots with socks, shorts and top, but they look great, like kids should look"
And both said at the same time "happy". There isn't the pressure of conformity here. Hooray

GrowSomeCress Sat 23-Feb-13 20:09:44

I agree with LaQueen and AngryBeaver

I'd be more concerned about the shoes than the leggings though, 13 is too young really to be wearing heels like that

Maryz Sat 23-Feb-13 20:22:24

It's very sudden, the flip from tomboy grunge to bodycon/tan/no knickers.

It seems to happen overnight here, just about as the kids hit their second year in secondary (14 here).

All of a sudden they stop wearing jeans and uggs 365 days a year and look like this

Startail Sat 23-Feb-13 22:37:33

That link looks like our sixth form, the second they are let out of uniform.
Mind you some of their in uniform skirts are that short.

The HT's war seems to have passed them by.

LaQueen Sun 24-Feb-13 17:13:22

I can only go from seeing our friend's DDs, who are that bit older - and the girls we have to babysit the DDs, who are 16/17...and, that glam look really doesn't seem to be fashionable with them?

I've also spent quite a bit of time recently at our local girls grammar school, too - and on non-uniform days they don't seem to wear anything revealing, or glamorous? Plenty of make-up, and carefully dishevelled up-dos, but their clothes seem quite casual, with a lot of Jack Wills stuff (I think it's called that?).

Might be a regional thing? We're pretty rural around here, just with small market towns and the nearest city is nearly 20 miles away.

Personally, I think that 13 year old girls, should actually look like 13 year old girls and not like 17/18 year old young women.

I firmly believe in picking my battles once they become teenagers (as opposed to being the Benign Despot that I currently am) but ensuring they wear age appropriate clothing is one battle I will definitely fight. And win.

But, like I say, I doubt it will be much of a battle, as their peer group don't seem to dress in age inappropriate ways, anyway.

Bunbaker Sun 24-Feb-13 21:50:02

Maryz That is how the year 8s at DD's school dress.

LaQueen Sun 24-Feb-13 21:52:58

I think I'm clearly too old...when I had my little beauty salon, I flatly refused to spray tan/wax anyone under the age of 16 hmm

Dozer Sun 24-Feb-13 22:28:30

This takes me back. When was 13 my friend had a "dinner party" at hers one midsummers eve, all girls, she wore a vintage ballgown with feathery bodice, another friend wore lace collar 60s type dress, I wore a black low-cut french connection lycra minidress and heels, an outfit that the OP would definitely consider "tarty" (mum is a feminist and just told me I looked lovely), we drank wine and ate spaghetti, there's a picture of us by her front door in the evening sunlight looking sooooo young and fabulous!

Wish could pull off that outfit now!

AngryBeaver Mon 25-Feb-13 00:14:08

hmm, alrighty then!

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