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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have shouted at a women in the Asda toilet

425 replies

pinkmagic1 · 20/01/2013 20:11

Was in Asda this morning getting a bit of shopping for my nan and my 8 year old ds decided he needed the loo. Sometimes he uses the mans but sometimes he prefers to come with me into the ladies. I personally don't see a problem with this, he is only 8 ffs. However there was a women in there who whilst my ds was washing his hands and after looking at him like something she had scraped off the bottom of her shoe asked me how old my ds was. I told her he is 8, she then proceeded to tell me it was terrible that I should let him use the ladies and he should be able to manage perfectly well on his own! She then made a speedy exit and I shouted after her 'mind your own business you miserable cow!' I was really shook up by the whole incident but aibu?

OP posts:
vigglewiggle · 20/01/2013 20:16

I think you were unreasonable to shout abuse at someone who was just expressing an opinion. You are also being rather over-sensitive to feel "really shook up."

SparklyVampire · 20/01/2013 20:16

A screaming match in ASDA is a tad errr......... Jeremy Kyle.
But other than that YANBU, she should wind her neck in.

Rainbowinthesky · 20/01/2013 20:17

You were perfectly reasonable up until you shouted at someone in ASDAs toilets. I wouldn't have let ds at this age use the mens toilets either .

FutTheShuckUp · 20/01/2013 20:17

Was she cuddling groceries or doing the t-rex? If not YABVU

Cortana · 20/01/2013 20:22

The woman was BU. It's none of her business whether or not your child can manage, she shouldn't have said anything.

However, YABU to shout at her and "I was really shook up by the whole incident", really, she spoke to you in a toilet about something that she was upset about, I don't see how this has left you shook up TBH. It's not like she pinned you against the sink.....

Moominsarescary · 20/01/2013 20:22

Unless she was drying her pubes under the hand dryer I don't see why she should be bothered so yanbu

fluffypillow · 20/01/2013 20:25

YANBU. She was rude to comment. He's only 8, not 28! Some people should mind their own business. miserable cow.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 20/01/2013 20:25

She was being a nosey bat but I think ywbu to shout at her like that in front of your son. Not a great example to set.

addictedtolatte · 20/01/2013 20:26

You shouldn't let small minded people bother you op. People always have unwanted advice to hand. I can't see what the problem is the woman sounds a bit odd.

Pandemoniaa · 20/01/2013 20:26

I shouted after her 'mind your own business you miserable cow!'

The complaining woman was BU. Unfortunately, you fell straight off the moral high ground when you dealt with the situation by shouting at her abusively.

NellyBluth · 20/01/2013 20:26

YANBU to be annoyed by her, you're right, he's only 8.

However YWBU to have shouted at her. You could have made your point without swearing.

BupcakesAndCunting · 20/01/2013 20:27

YANBU

It has sod all to do with her. She doesn't know what your son's limits are etc. Silly cow.

I would have done the same as you

AnnoyingOrange · 20/01/2013 20:28

8 yr olds are perfectly capable of going to the men's toilets. They've been at school for at least 3 yrs and manage there

fourfingerkitkat · 20/01/2013 20:29

YANBU. I once got into an argument with an OAP about using the baby change facility in a disabled toilet (the OAP had a walking stick). She seemed to overlook the baby change sign on the door and gave me a mouthful about taking my 3yr old into the toilet. I was having a bad day and let rip with a mouthful. Not proud and probably an over reaction on my part but she might think twice before hassling mothers with young children again.

There was an incident in Glasgow a few months ago when a young child was sexually assaulted in the toilets of an Asda not far from where we live. There is no way I would allow my kids to go into the public loos alone.

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/01/2013 20:29

At 8 he is old enough to go to the toilet on his own,really,preferences aside.

Ywbu to shout at her. You could have just as easily completely ignored her.

akaemmafrost · 20/01/2013 20:29

I probably wouldn't have called her any names but most certainly would have told her to mind her own business.

Sirzy · 20/01/2013 20:29

YABU to have shouted.

And surely if he can go into the gents sometimes he can do it all the time? At what point do you stop him choosing?

Flojobunny · 20/01/2013 20:31

YANBU
I would have done exactly the same thing and then spent the rest of my shopping trip and drive home thinking about what I should have said!

Original poster
pinkmagic1 · 20/01/2013 20:31

She was drying one hand under each dryer which I did think was slightly odd. I do not normally react like this at all but she was especially aggressive in her manner not just expesing an opinion if you know what I mean.

OP posts:
akaemmafrost · 20/01/2013 20:32

I think it's up to a parent to judge if their 8 year old is able to go to the toilets alone. It is not a hard and fast rule imo.

Fakebook · 20/01/2013 20:33

Why not just stick your middle finger up at her as she was speaking, accompanied by a bored looking death stare? That would've scared the shit out of her. No need to shout.

FabulousFreaks · 20/01/2013 20:33

YANBu I hope she heard you

RuleBritannia · 20/01/2013 20:33

I disagree with some of you. This is certainly a Jeremy Kyle sort of matter.

(a) The boy is 8! Not 8 or 18 months. He should be able to manage on his own. We took our 4 year old grandson to a farm park and he went to the men's washroom by himself.
(b) The woman was concerned to see a male who might be interested in what goes on in a ladies' washroom who might have seen something untoward so it was her business
(c) The OP shouted at her - in public - JK there for you
(d) The OP said that she was 'shook up'. Anyone else would have said that she was 'shaken up'. More JK.

Sorry, I'm with the other woman on this one.

LifeofPo · 20/01/2013 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/01/2013 20:34

If she was being particularly aggressive then you definitely should have ignored her. Giving aggressive strangers a mouthful can be a recipe for more of the same or worse.