Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To think £200 is too bloody much?

(248 Posts)

Friend has hired a country house for her birthday and has just informed us it's £200 per person. I'm really annoyed because a) it isn't even a 'special' birthday b) I didnt really want to go in the first place as it means leaving pfb overnight but i felt obliged as she is a good friend and c) I can't bloody afford it.
Im just going for one night as ds is still little so I'll be spending 6 hours on the train (by myself) to spend 24 hours there. I realise that is my own bloody fault and not hers but it adds to my annoyance!
There will be additional costs (travel, going out money etc) so whilst i have to write off the £200 should I make my excuses now and pull out before this thing escalates further?
Mostly im annoyed at myself for saying yes in the first place as i would be perfectly happy spending the weekend at home with ds and £200 could buy A LOT of nappies
She is a very good friend so feel free to flame me for being selfish.

ATouchOfStuffing Sat 19-Jan-13 22:35:22

I'd pull out and say pfb is ill, or if you have to pay in advance it is around the time they are having vaccinations/HV check ups or anything you can think of...

You can catch up with her on another night just the two of you perhaps, much nicer and cheaper that way.

scottishmummy France Sun 20-Jan-13 00:04:15

trust fund baby=mumsy and daddy are loaded,saved money for you
likely trust fund baby doesn't know value of money as it comes easily
unlikely to know the realities of being skint or watchin budgets

JusticeCrab Sun 20-Jan-13 06:54:12

I've gone on country house breaks quite regularly, and the consensus among our group of friends is that 100 quid each + food and booze costs (usually limited to 10 quid per person per day) is ample. We do go in quite large groups, though. 200 quid each for 24 hours is excessive, and in fact when someone in our friendship group suggested more expensive accommodation than the average, they were laughed out of town. Well, not quite laughed out of town. But you get what I mean.

dolcelatte Sun 20-Jan-13 07:57:06

If she is a good friend she should understand your circumstances and also pay for you, or make a contribution.

MrsCR Sun 20-Jan-13 09:28:29

Well, what did she say?! Has she replied to your email?

diddl Germany Sun 20-Jan-13 09:41:55

I hope she feels awful tbh.

I would-at the thought of a friend forking out 100GBP for nothing.

I wonder if she expects presents as well??!!

She hasn't replied yet... eeeeeeeek

wonderstuff Sun 20-Jan-13 10:30:30

I think you have definitely done the right thing shamelessly marking place to find out what she says

Lambzig Sun 20-Jan-13 12:13:20

Good for you, I think you have done the right thing and if she doesnt get it, then she is probably not a good friend.

melliebobs Sun 20-Jan-13 12:16:14

Not had chance to read all the other posts. But it really pisses me off when people have a birthday and say 'it's going to cost x amount' it's like charging a bloody entry fee. They may as well have a bash at home and ask everyone to pay a tenner to come in. Really gets on my wick

Right, for those who are interested (and apologies to those who are not) she has replied saying that she respects my decision but doesn't think £200 is much for such a fantastic venue. She also said there wasn't much difference between her original estimate and the final figure confused - on this we will have to agree to disagree because I think £100 is a significant sum to most people.
I haven't argued my case, as you all agreed I should just stick to the facts and not grovel too much so I just said I'd take her out for a celebratory drink when she gets back.
I then had a v sad email from another friend saying that she can't believe it's so expensive and she wished she'd never agreed to go!! Poor girl is getting married next month and she's worried that most of the people invited to this birthday weekend (myself included) will have to fork out for her hen do and the wedding in the same month.

Binkybix Sun 20-Jan-13 18:52:24

I'm interested still! That rely would annoy me, you're very good to rise above it and not respond . Poor friend - wonder if she will be inspired by you and pull out too!?

Lueji Sun 20-Jan-13 19:01:38

100% more IS a significant increase.

It's 200% of the original estimate!!!

I agree with Mellies. IMO, people should get together and offer the bash/party to the birthday person, or he/she should cover the cost of said bash/party.
And never force such costs on people. Unless they are all millionaires.

spatchcock Sun 20-Jan-13 19:03:37

Your friend is living in a fantasy world where everyone lives in a castle and all pockets are stuffed with £100 notes!

expatinscotland Sun 20-Jan-13 19:03:55

Your friend is very self-absorbed.

howtoboilanegg Sun 20-Jan-13 19:10:24

OP...so pleased you backed out. Rest assured that you did the Right Thing.
I would be surprised if you and your other friend are the only two upset at the price hike. Is your other friend going to cancel too?
£200 + extras + travel + present too I presume is a ridiculous amount of money for her to assume that people have to spend.
I would not be surprised if more drop out and it's cancelled.

KindleMum Sun 20-Jan-13 19:15:58

If someone tells you they can't afford something, how rude and insensitive do you need to be to then say it's not much money!!!

You've definitely done the right thing, I'd be amazed if this weekend had cost you less than £500 in the end and could easily have been more.

£100 is a lot of money to plenty of people, not just those who are on benefits or consider themselves poor. For many families who are doing ok, it could still be a whole month's disposable income/treat money. She is very self-absorbed and ignorant.

DoodleAlley Sun 20-Jan-13 19:16:06

Are you going to tell your friend you've cancelled? If enough people show concern she might be able to pull out with minimal financial loss at this stage.

or supplement it from her trust fund!

SugarPasteSnowflake Sun 20-Jan-13 19:19:03

I would reply to her. I'd point out that to her £200 might not be much, but it would more than cover a week's worth of groceries and that not everyone has the luxury of a private income. That although she is a good friend and you wish her a fantastic birthday, she could perhaps bear in mind that not everyone has a spare £200 to hand.

Normally I'd be for keeping the peace, but she's being dismissive and thoughtless. You probably won't be the only person who can't afford it. If she wants to have a flash hotel for her birthday then she needs to consider if her guests can afford it, unless she's offering to pay the accommodation bill herself.

SugarPasteSnowflake Sun 20-Jan-13 19:20:16

Sorry meant to say that the extra £100 would more than cover a week's groceries!!

orchidee Sun 20-Jan-13 19:38:40

Birthday girl is right- it is a fantastic venue. Fantastic in the dictionary sense. It'd be a fantasy of a weekend to mill around there but it's just not a priority for you (and maybe some others?) Hopefully there's no hard feelings. Did she mention the £100 you offered to pay?

StillSmilingAfterAllTheseYears Sun 20-Jan-13 19:44:00

Thank you for updating, I was keen to hear. Your poor other friend! Could she say same as you?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 20-Jan-13 19:51:24

Bloody hell I would reply to that. She is in cloud cuckoo land if she thinks £200 isn't much!

And why would you take her out for a drink - you've just given her £100!

Tell your other friend that you have dropped out, then she might feel able to do the same.

Lueji Sun 20-Jan-13 19:58:51

£100 is a lot of money to plenty of people, not just those who are on benefits or consider themselves poor.
This^

I earn a good salary. And would never spend £100 on a friend's birthday. Nor on a relative's.
Let alone £200, plus travel, present and other expenses.

She's taking the piss.
I wonder if she is paying, btw. hmm

Sausagedog27 Sun 20-Jan-13 20:09:15

I hope your nice friend also pulls out op. I can't believe what she said- she obviously has a very high opinion of herself!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now