Mumsnet Talk

Been with DP just over 12 months, we only ever have sex in the missionary position. I have tried to instigate other things but he somehow manages to veto them.
Normally I sleep in his arms but last night I wanted more space and turned over to sleep. DP snuggled in to the back of me and used this as a perfect opportunity to take control and put DPs thing in from behind. It wasn't going particularly well but DP didn't move away. But just as it seemed to be getting in the right place DC woke up and needed tending to.
When I returned, DP got on top as usual and said "this is better, that other way was unnatural"

God how boring. You need to get on top and ride it like a rodeo horse.

DP's "thing" how old are you?

"It wasn't going particularly well but DP didn't move away" Erm...consent? If a man posted that he'd be crucified!

That's where I am going wrong I can't form the words to tell DP I want something different.

Write it down then and give him a note.

Is he your first partner Pepsi?

Don't tell him get on top and show him.

It's easy to form - penis. See? Simple!

Has he got hang ups about sex, as far as you can see? Other than this 'unnatural' comment, obviously!

Consent? DP was pushing it in to me. Are you implying I forced him somehow?

Spooning position is not always easy if you aren't used to it - coordinating movement can be tricky.
Try going on top, put the lights out if you feel self-conscious to begin with.

No not my first.
I'm not sure about hang ups. I think more he believes its his role to be in control. OMG how sexist does that sound but sadly true I suspect.

You don't have to physically force someone, if they are not willing then it is NOT GOOD. I repeat, if a man posted that on here he'd be flamed.

You don't have to physically force someone, if they are not willing then it is NOT GOOD. I repeat, if a man posted that on here he'd be flamed.

No did you consent to sex?

So do you never ever ever have sex apart from him on top in bed?

If that is the case and you are happy with it the doggie style might be worth a try. I'm not sure where the implied lack of consent came from- I didn't get that from your posts.

I did try to suggest something different and got met with "no two times are ever the same" bloody feels like it to me!

I'm not sure it's really sexist, more just the way he's got used to?

Exactly Brandy and from they way he seems suggesting doggy would give him a coronary.

Perhaps he's not sure how good his A game is so stays away from the tried and trusted. It's a toughie to talk about particularly if its never really been discussed or if the initiation has changed from one to the other over time.

I guess any talk of change might be received as criticism?

It sounds like the issue is that he is not that interested in what you want but rather sees sex as a means to an end ie. an orgasm for him regardless of your enjoyment - is that a fair representation?

When I was touching him he stopped me and I said I was enjoying that but he looked confused and climbed on top.

Cas yes only I have faked it too many times so he believes I do enjoy it like that.