To be a traditional sahm ??

(864 Posts)
ProudMum4Eva Wed 02-Jan-13 22:16:39

I personal have never been flamed for my choice in life, however I see many people who continuously get some sort of insult for their life choices. So here I thought I would share all for the first time.
I am 34 years old I got married at 18 straight from college. I am happily married with five wonderful children who I adore and do everything for. I have NEVER worked (outside the family home) my DH has always worked. He works traditional hours leaves about 8:10 mon-fri and is home for around 5:30. I do everything in the home cleaning, cooking, bathing the younger children, ironing and so on. I dote on my children and my husband. I love it they do not need to help me in the house I look after them and that is what I am good at.

TheSecondComing Wed 02-Jan-13 22:51:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Megan74 Wed 02-Jan-13 22:52:12

YANBU. It's horses for courses.

I have been a sahm and wohm. Each has their pros and cons. If it works for you and your family that's all that matters. Happy New Year.

Why will your children not be able to look after themselves? well if you do it all for them they won't be easily able to take care of personal hygiene, work household appliances, take care of clothing, feed themselves to a budget, manage money, all skills that one would not expect in a preschooler but to encourage in the primary years and develop in a teen, great prep for adult life.

ErikNorseman Wed 02-Jan-13 22:53:01

Looking after yourself, housework, cooking etc are life skills. We teach our children life skills in order that they can become effective adults. If you don't teach them how to take care of themselves then how do you expect them to learn? Serious question, not rhetorical, by the way!

showtunesgirl Wed 02-Jan-13 22:53:31

OP, do your other kids feel left out as your favourite appears to be your DD Eva?

Permanentlyexhausted Wed 02-Jan-13 22:53:40

In response to the OP, I also see many people being insulted for their life choices, particularly on MN. Sometimes it is because they have chosen to be a SAHM, just as often it is because they have chosen to be a WOHM, even more often it is because they have chosen to add to their family whilst in receipt of benefits. It is lovely that you are so happy with your choices. I assume you are equally happy about everyone else's.

Feel the Lurve!

Are you a Proud Mum For Ever, or do you have a DD called Eva?
Not really interested in all the rest of it, but I would like to know that.

DeafLeopard Wed 02-Jan-13 22:54:00

Despite me having been a SAHM for a long time, both my DCs can prepare a simple meal, put on a load of washing, load/unload dishwasher operate the hoover; DS is much older so can do stuff like ironing, simple DIY, car maintenance. These are important skills for their adult life, and being a lackey doing everything for them is doing them no favours - nor for whoever they chose to live with / marry.

ummmmm what stuff do you get to do whilst daddy is busy with the children in the evenings/on weekends? <peers from behind fingers>

ProudMum4Eva Wed 02-Jan-13 22:56:20

I clean up after them yes , I do the washing and ironing yes , I do the cooking yes.
They can all wash themselves , do their teeth , dress themselves and what ever else they need to do. I do not understand the comment that they will not be able to look after themselves. sad
My eldest two (both teenagers) can cook/clean/iron they just do not have to.

OpenToPersuasion Wed 02-Jan-13 22:58:08

They need to know that these jobs need doing, learn initiative abd that it's not some fairy that does it.

And they all needto kniw that women aren't martyrs to the home.

Seriously.

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas Wed 02-Jan-13 22:58:57

I agree deaf. It's their home too. They should contribute towards it (in an age appropriate way of course). Otherwise want message does that send? That there will always be someone else to pick up the dirty pants? That's disrespecting the role of a SAHM - the M stands for mother, not maid.

OpenToPersuasion Wed 02-Jan-13 22:59:05

BALD, have you enough spreadage in those fibgers for my eyes, too?

Euphemia Wed 02-Jan-13 23:00:18

And your DDs need to know that they have choices about living their lives differently to you, and that not every family sees it as the mother's role to stay at home and do everything for everyone.

I look after one of my DC's completely- he's 11months and he's really fucking sloppy with taking his cereal bowl to the kitchen wink the oldest DC can do simple tasks and I make him do them, even though I am a SAHM I am not a skivvy.

ProudMum4Eva Wed 02-Jan-13 23:02:05

Difference of opinion I see myself as a mother not a maid. Is there really no one else on here tonight who shares my thoughts blush

WorraLiberty Wed 02-Jan-13 23:04:25

What thoughts do you have OP?

YANBU to be a SAHM if it makes you happy

I'm a SAHM just like 1000's of others and it makes me happy.

MatureUniStudent Wed 02-Jan-13 23:04:35

My teens would love to stay at yours, they have to wash up the dishes and sling washing in the tumble dryer. They would jump at the chance of watching another do it.

Euphemia Wed 02-Jan-13 23:04:47

No, they're blacking the grate and polishing the shoes. wink grin

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas Wed 02-Jan-13 23:05:38

You may see yourself as a mother but you are actually acting like a maid too.

And what are your thoughts? That SAHM is good? It's completely up to you and your family - that's what feminism is. You have a choice. Not sure why you need us to validate that for you though?

ProudMum4Eva Wed 02-Jan-13 23:06:08

WorraLiberty

smile

MatureUniStudent Wed 02-Jan-13 23:06:42

darned finger - wanted to finish saying that I think there is a SAHM that MN hasn't covered and that you brought up in your OP. If there is the traditional SAHM, then there should be the Volunteer SAHM (volunteers outside the home) and the Student SAHM. Any other breeds of SAHM's? As I don't think SAHM accurately reflects our varied rolls.

Gay40 Wed 02-Jan-13 23:06:56

I wouldn't want my daughter growing up thinking this is OK. I want her to get more out of life than being a servant.

ProudMum4Eva Wed 02-Jan-13 23:07:08

I know it is up to me.

ProudMum4Eva Wed 02-Jan-13 23:07:46

I do not see myself as a servant at all.

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