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To think they should reconsider the DJ's job since the nurse commited suicide?

(210 Posts)
MightTinge Fri 07-Dec-12 15:52:07

For some strange reason I felt cross when I read of her suicide. Was she in the wrong place at the wrong time? Should the DJ be punished or is it simple a
'Stunt gone wrong'?
After all look what happened with sachsgate. This was much worse IMO before her suicide.
I feel very sad for her children.

here

RabidCarrot Mon 10-Dec-12 08:02:59

Heartbreaking for her children and family.
However no sane and reasonable person kills them self over something as trivial as this, it would seen she was not in trouble with the hospital, the Royal family made no complaint and really no damage was done, we all knew the Duchess of Cambridge was in hospital, we knew she was being given fluids and we knew she was chucking her guts up, it was all on the news and in every bloody paper so it is not as if anything new was said.
Total stupid over reaction

NetworkGuy Sun 09-Dec-12 16:38:47

"stigma attached to mental illness and how little it is openly discussed. This is perfectly illustrated by the poster above mentioning how the subject is completely avoided." - DixieD

Sorry, if I wasn't clear. Was meaning that discussing the death of their son would likely be avoided unless they brought it up. I'm not in a position to comment on the mental health of someone I knew only slightly, and even if I had known him well, am not qualified in that field. In his case, a combination of drugs and alcohol (which was meant to be avoided with his prescription) may have been the cause.

Also, the quotes regarding 'commit suicide' were chosen by me, and I decided not to include one which mentioned mental health, in part, because it is a touchy subject where even hinting at it could offend someone who is disturbed, or has had a history of problems.

It was an error, and a refresher on confidentiality might of been appropriate, but it wasn't a sackable offence which was what that thread called for.

Sorry that is not clear , I do not mean that in a way the nurses thought they SHOULD be sacked, more that they thought that the hospital would view it that way and it would be seen as a serious misconduct.

"I think the point is that neither nurse committed a sackable offence"

The nurses I know seem to think otherwise, not so much the nurse who put the call through but the nurse who gave information out.

I think the point is that neither nurse committed a sackable offence and the frothing posters were hyping up a very minor incident because of its connections to royalty.

The whole bloody thing is a mess and further froth is just making things worse.

If anyone dies of suicide the correct response is sadness not to point fingers without having knowledge of their issues or reasons.

FivesGoldNorks Sun 09-Dec-12 09:45:58

Agreed. But that is the extreme. To behave as if everyone you don't know is 100% mentally healthy is the other extreme

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Sun 09-Dec-12 09:00:15

well, to behave as though everyone is so fragile that they'll kill themselves if you look at them the wrong way would be a very bad idea. It would mean that no one could ever be criticized, no matter how stupid or lazy or unhelpful they were being, and it would also lead to a culture of unhealthy deference where the powerful could reject or silence any questioning on the grounds that their feelings might be hurt.

FivesGoldNorks Sun 09-Dec-12 08:22:37

Alark thank you. You've put into words what I've been trying to say. Everyone keeps saying the DJs could never have predicted this, she must have had other stuff going on. Well what makes that ok? Why is it fine to assume someone's mentally healthy and work on that basis?

FivesGoldNorks Sun 09-Dec-12 08:20:14

Hoolio please stop going on about screeching, you've made your point and it's getting old.

I was on the other thread, said I was on the fence and would happily see it re instated as I stand by my comments in the circumstances at the time.

Is it bad just to post on a thread calling for someone's job?

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Sun 09-Dec-12 01:59:57

just to be clear. i am atheist and do not share the idea that to take your own life is any sort of sin.

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Sun 09-Dec-12 01:57:21

in response to mrsDV

i was raised and live in a very catholic area of ireland and there still is talk of sin around taking your own life. it is very much accpeted and the norm (as in, not questioned) that a suicide victim would not be buried in consecrated ground. IME there is still a stigma. but i completely accept that this is my own experience and otehrs may never have expereince dthis, which mught explain why the term would not cause any offence in their own socuial circles.

DoingItOnTheRoofTopWithSanta Sun 09-Dec-12 01:51:59

Hoolio You have effectively accused me of murder over an internet post saying, again, that someone deserved to be sacked. I own no one an apology the woman who killed herself almost undoubtedly did not kill herself for only this reason. That is not how suicide works. Your shrieking over how I have driven a woman to kill herself is much worse than me saying someone should be sacked. You are unbelievably ignorant and hypocritical.

Please answer me, if I, who has actually assuredly read your comment now go and kill myself would you apologize? Would it be your fault?

alarkthatcouldpray Sat 08-Dec-12 22:30:44

Exactly Solidgold, any of these things could have happened to her or anyone else we encounter in our daily lives. Which is why we should be in general terms be considerate to our fellow man, not setting out to trip people up or mock them unless we know the person and their situation well enough to feel it will be met with humour rather than distres.

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Sat 08-Dec-12 21:48:18

What I find a little distasteful is the assumption made that, even if Jacintha Saldahna killed herself (which has NOT been confirmed AFAIK) then it must have been over the prank call. Because this is behaving as though she, and her life, and her thoughts and her problems couldn't possibly have mattered, that the only thing about her that is of interest is her tenuous connection with a famous pregnant person. For all anyone knows, she could have been informed that morning that she was terminally ill/her husband was leaving her/she was about to face criminal charges for something or other completely unconnected to the prank call. But hey, only the famous matter, and the rest of us peasants can't possibly have narratives of our own.

HoolioHallio Sat 08-Dec-12 18:15:49

Please link to where I have asked for blood?

A simple apology would go a long way to show that beneath your screeching, judgemental lack of compassion that you do actually have a human heart.

But I doubt it.

You, and every other faceless stranger on the internet who criticised, humiliated and castigated those 2 members of staff online, without having a real CLUE about the circumstances, contributed, however indirectly to the death of another human being. Of course you don't like hearing it. I certainly wouldn't like hearing it if I had been calling for someones life to be ruined, and it then happened in the most horrific circumstances imaginable. But to many people, you and those who thought and acted like you did, bear some responsibility. Unpalatable as that may be to you.

DixieD Sat 08-Dec-12 18:10:10

mrsDV there are of course a myriad of reasons why there is stigma attached to suicide. All of the ones you mentioned feature. The implication of criminality does not help. Of course changing the commonly used terminology is only a small step but it is important that the dialogue around suicide is more sympathetic to the victim. Commit suicide as a phrase suggests a planned deliberate nearly cynical act like someone would commit a murder or burglary and is quite accusatory. When of course we know those people driven to suicide are often incapable of rational thought. They are lost in a terrible, lonely, desperate place where suicide seems the only way out.

DoingItOnTheRoofTopWithSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 17:33:40

Doingit - you and the other fucking harpies screeching on that thread for her to be sacked (and yes - there were PLENTY of calls for the 'receptionist' who answered the phone to be sacked') shouldn't have even been commenting. What fucking right do you have to sit as judge and jury on someone elses career and life? Words on a screen ? Yeah - buy into that bullshit all you like but YOU and every other person who posted negative, hurtful, speculative and gossip mongering posts bear a level of responsibility for what happened. Whether YOU like it or not. And if acknowledging that means that ONE person will stop to think before laying into another human being from behind the safety of a computer screen then thank god for that.I wish that MNHQ would reinstate the thread to be honest - if only to force you all to take responsibility for the comments that you made.

I fucking LOVE irony.
I say (quite rightly) that a person giving away personal info should be sacked.

You say that a person on the internet who says someone should get sacked should be culpable for someone elses suicide. Why do you have the right to ask for blood for what I did? Something that the woman involved probably never saw. And simply stated "she should get sacked" You stupid stupid stupid person.

Now say thanks to your ridiculous comments which I have definitely seen, I go and kill myself. Should you also be held responsible as you have pushed me to take responsibility?

MrsDeVere Sat 08-Dec-12 17:20:29

Do you really feel that it is the criminal connotations of 'committing suicide' that causes stigma?
(this is a genuine question, I don't want you to think I am typing this in a snarky tone)

Because I would think that only the older population would even connect suicide with anything illegal or shameful in the moral/religious way.

I am 45 and can only vaguely recall how it was treated when I was a young child. Talk of being buried outside consecrated ground etc sad

Do people feel the shame of suicide/taking their life because they feel that they are being cowards, letting others down, people will think they are insane or because they fear that someone will talk them out of it?

Does historical criminality really feature? Is that your experience?

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Sat 08-Dec-12 15:09:21

"Also not sure why on earth we would want to destigmatise suicide?! No, it's not a crime but it's awful, tragic and the worse it is seen the better as far as I'm concerned. Nobody should have to go through the aftermath of a person killing themselves. A move towards seeing it as an okay thing to do would be disastrous in my opinion. "

you are misunderstanding. it isn't a move to destigmatise suicide to make it an okay thing to do. it is to destigmatise the feelings and thoughts about suicide so that people are more able/comfortable to talk about it, thoughts they may have had about suicide so that they may get the appropriate help.

I did not post on the thread calling for her to be sacked, my mum who is a nurse said this morning that 95% of people she worked with would have given information in panic. My mum has been involved in a similar media situation with the press.

I full agree that the hospital would not have given their backing no matter what they say.

The woman was said to be confused and inconsolable over the incident.

The nursing council hang you out to bloody dry, she would have been terrified that she would not only lose her job but be struck off.

Even if I had no mental health issues, if I was worried about losing my job, not being able to work as a nurse ever again, right before Christmas with children, being targeting by the media, vilified (sp?) by public AND humiliated continually in such a case that the most well known people in the country were involved I am pretty sure I would not be in a good mental place!!!

A Prank is a situation were the pranked see's the funny side at the end and gives permission for it to be shown.

This was nothing short of a nasty bully who knew damn well people's jobs were at risk, but its alright because they are sat in their fancy media towers with my fat cat wage, who cares if some lowly nurse loses her job. angry

GothAnneGeddes Sat 08-Dec-12 14:47:40

I missed the thread asking for the nurses to be sacked. How disgusting (but unsurprising) that such a thread existed. It could have well been something that put her over the edge. It should allowed to stand, so people can't pretend now.

As soon as I heard about the hoax, I said the nurses involved would be sobbing in the staffroom over this.

I also have a strong feeling hospital management were not supportive, unlike our medical colleagues, nurses are very quick to throw staff under the bus when something goes wrong.

HoolioHallio Sat 08-Dec-12 13:47:14

Doingit - you and the other fucking harpies screeching on that thread for her to be sacked (and yes - there were PLENTY of calls for the 'receptionist' who answered the phone to be sacked') shouldn't have even been commenting. What fucking right do you have to sit as judge and jury on someone elses career and life? Words on a screen ? Yeah - buy into that bullshit all you like but YOU and every other person who posted negative, hurtful, speculative and gossip mongering posts bear a level of responsibility for what happened. Whether YOU like it or not. And if acknowledging that means that ONE person will stop to think before laying into another human being from behind the safety of a computer screen then thank god for that.

I wish that MNHQ would reinstate the thread to be honest - if only to force you all to take responsibility for the comments that you made.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 08-Dec-12 13:18:40

The people at fault are the moron members of the public who clamour for information, unable to live their own meaningless lives without knowing things that are none of their business. Unfortunately, they won't have the wit or the conscience to realise it.

DoingItOnTheRoofTopWithSanta Sat 08-Dec-12 12:53:28

Oh and the people who asked that previous thread to be pulled were the ones offended by the thread in the first place, said I thought it should stand with an altered title.

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