To tell Dsis (9) that if she "won't sit at a table where people are eating non free range turky" that she can eat her christmas dinner alone on the balcony.

(312 Posts)
honeytea Sat 01-Dec-12 17:55:10

My lovely adorable and slightly precocious little sister is 9 and has been a self declared vegetarian since she was about 4.

My family are coming to stay with us for Christmas and my mum has kindly offered to cook Christmas dinner which is fab as I am due to give birth on the 8th (but feel like the baby is happy in my tummy and won't be here till much closer to Christmas.) I was talking to my mum and sister today about what I should buy for dinner, they fly to us on the 23rd and we have a christmas day celebration with my DP's family on the 24th so I need to get prepared. I went trough all the vegies and stuff for a nut roast, then I said maybe I will get a big chicken instead of a turky and my little sister said well you had better make sure it is free range as I won't sit at a table where there meat that is not free range, I said to her that is fine she can sit on the balcony and eat her dinner.

AIBU and a nasty big sister, I will look for a free range chicken but I don't often buy meat and I have no idea if you can even buy free range chickens in the country we live in.

apostropheuse Sat 01-Dec-12 20:07:19

She's not being asked to eat the turkey.
She's being provided with a vegetarian dinner to her liking.
Not everone has the same beliefs or principles.
We should all respect one another's beliefs.
She's being a precocious little brat.

Tell her she's free to eat her dinner whenever she likes. Don't pander to her nonsense. She's the one who's missing out.

splashymcsplash Sat 01-Dec-12 20:10:40

Yabu.

She is a child, you are the grown up in this situation. Sending her to the balcony would be extremely immature.

Surely you would buy free range anyway?

Willowisp Sat 01-Dec-12 20:14:13

I think I might have turned round to her & said something like, well thank you for your opinions, your request will go further if you ask nicely...go & have a rethink.

I'm curious that a 9 yr old knows the about a free range bird..my dd is 9 & wouldn't have a clue, even though all our meat is free-range or organic.

I like her principles...her style needs working on !

Loislane78 Sat 01-Dec-12 20:15:20

There's a chat to be had about other people's views (how does she manage at school lunch BTW?) but in the meantime.... whilst I don't normally advocate telling free range porkies, how will she know?

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 01-Dec-12 20:20:01

It's very common Willowslip. They do it at school. Dd is always going on about free range & fair trade until one day my mum turned round to her and told her that she was very privileged and done people struggle to afford food at all never mind free range!

SoupDragon Sat 01-Dec-12 20:23:06

Did those of you saying "just get a free range turkey, it's easy" not see this bit: I think they don't have free range chickens here because it snows for 6 months of the year here

LifeOnACrunchieBar Sat 01-Dec-12 20:26:46

Tesco do free range? I agree, I think her principles and she's only 9 so can't expect her style to be any different.

honeytea Sat 01-Dec-12 20:28:12

Willowwisp that is a good way to put it. I think she knows about free range things from my mum as they buy free range so mum would ask us when we were young to go and pick out some free range eggs when shopping.

I'm not sure about school lunches, if she goes to a party at mc donalds she takes her own food, it is lucky she is charismatic.

TeddyBare Sat 01-Dec-12 20:30:10

Sweden definitely does have free range meat but turkey is relatively unusual in general because it's not the traditional Christmas dinner in Sweden.
I admire your dsis's principles and I think she does have a point but she could do with a few lessons in manners. That said, she's too young to be able to make her own Christmas plans and she has a legitimate moral objection so I think you do have to try to accommodate her. Do you have to have turkey? I know it's traditional but so is having everyone at the same table.

LifeOnACrunchieBar Sat 01-Dec-12 20:32:48

Don't beat her principles out of her at 9... She's right anyway... Non free range poultry is cruelty. Indulge her, let her make a difference and work on her style slowly...

honeytea Sat 01-Dec-12 20:35:35

I'm not sure if it has to be turky, I don't eat much meat myself and never buy it, the only person who really wants the turky is my stepdad, my brother doesn't eat meat and me and and my mum would be happy with nut roast, DP won't know what a traditional British christmas dinner is anyway.

I will ask my stepdad if turky is vital and maybe a chicken would be ok. It's good to know that free range chicken is available in Sweden, I guess they are not Swedish chickens.

CheungFun Sat 01-Dec-12 20:36:31

Honestly, if she's not eating I'd tell her it's free range and lie!

Just make sure she doesn't see the packaging grin

Procrastinating Sat 01-Dec-12 20:36:39

I was an early vegetarian too and I would not have sat at a table with any kind of meat on it. I used to cry when I opened the fridge and saw murdered animals in there. Think yourself lucky OP, it could be worse.

Whoknowswhocares Sat 01-Dec-12 20:40:44

But surely the point is that she doesn't stop her friends eating their burger at McDonald's? She clearly realises that is a no go area and her family deserve the same consideration

It is fine to have principles. Admirable in fact
But teaching her she can dictate to others is wrong.

evilhamster Sat 01-Dec-12 20:41:40

You're in Sweden? I remember when I tried to find free range turkeys in Iceland...It didn't end well!

If you can get the barn, that's a good idea, but tell her how impossible it is and also tell her that at least she's got food to choose from.

She needs to learn some manners, but it's a good thing she wants free range. It's a bad thing she complains about it. Have principles, also have manners.

coppertop Sat 01-Dec-12 20:44:34

I would explain that if she expects people to respect her preferences about the food she eats, then she needs to extend that same courtesy to others. She doesn't get to decide what other people are going to eat.

I certainly wouldn't pander to her, either by buying free-range or by pretending that it was free-range.

honeytea Sat 01-Dec-12 20:46:58

Maybe I will serve reindeer, that is about as free range as meat can be!

ImperialSantaKnickers Sat 01-Dec-12 20:48:39

shock at how many posters think it's acceptable to lie about the origin of food. LoisLane and CheungFun on this page alone. Would you lie to an adult the same way?

spoonsspoonsspoons Sat 01-Dec-12 20:49:16

Rudolph, yummy grin

I'd not bother with the turkey if only one person is bothered about it, have duck instead

MidniteScribbler Sat 01-Dec-12 20:50:20

I prefer to buy free range products for my own home (although I'm not vegetarian), but would never dare to question a host on what they are serving.

Your sister is going to have to learn that not everyone shares her principles and being vocal and obnoxious about her is not going to win any friends in life. There have been one or two people that no longer get invited in our friendship group due to their comments during dinner of "poor widdle animals" and "murder".

GhostShip Sat 01-Dec-12 20:51:24

YANBU at all, but I give it to her, she's standing by her principles although it is making her seem like a brat.

I can't help but like her.

LifeOnACrunchieBar Sat 01-Dec-12 20:51:39

She does get to decide if she will eat at a table with people eating non free range meat... Don't make her choose. It's silly, encourage her to believe in her principles. It's something to be very proud of.

diddl Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:01

OP-if you want to buy free range & can, do so.

I don´t see that you should have to for your sister to sit with you though.

Her principles are admirable but if she carries on like that she's going to end up the far side of obnoxious and yes as big sis you owe it to her not to let that happen. She's obviously bright so rather than lying you need to help her towards a more reaasonable (and polite) way of expressing her principles. Or she'll end up like DS's brattish 13yr old mate who had the cheek to tell me my food smelt of death as I was making a ham sandwich after I'd just kindly made him a cheese one !

Her principles are admirable but if she carries on like that she's going to end up the far side of obnoxious and yes as big sis you owe it to her not to let that happen. She's obviously bright so rather than lying you need to help her towards a more reaasonable (and polite) way of expressing her principles. Or she'll end up like DS's brattish 13yr old mate who had the cheek to tell me my food smelt of death as I was making a ham sandwich after I'd just kindly made him a cheese one !

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