Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To not send Christmas Cards

(121 Posts)
crimbo12 Wed 28-Nov-12 13:18:00

So I am faced with a list of about 50 family, aquaintances, old colleagues etc. My only communication with these people is by Xmas cards each year. Each year I get increasingly irritated by this process, the cost and waste of paper. Even with close friends and family I can give a personal Greeting (and sometimes even a drink!) so why do I also send them a bit of cardboard to put on a shelf.

So what would you think if you received a card with this message
"Crimbo and Family have decided this will be the last year we send Cards at Christmas. If you would like to send us your email address we will send Seasons Greetings this way in future. If you prefer not to then be assured you will be in our thoughts during the Festive Season"

I may or may not be brave enough to actually do this

PostBellumBugsy Wed 28-Nov-12 14:15:31

babybythesea - you shouldn't give a monkeys about what anyone on here thinks. This is an anonymous chat forum - where opinions are free & easy!

You think what you do is a good thing & at the end of the day that is all that really needs to matter. We're talking Christmas cards here, not world peace!!! wink

EIizaDay Wed 28-Nov-12 14:20:40

Postbellum, well I can think of many ways to tell someone that I care for them but sending a "christmas card" wouldn't cut it.

squoosh Wed 28-Nov-12 14:22:05

Someone I know wanted to ditch the tradition too. What she did was she bought a heap of Christmas tree decorations sent one with each card and said something like 'As of next year I'll no longer be sending Christmas cards........please hang this decoration on your tree and know that even though I'm not sending you a card I am sending you my seasonal greetings etc'.

Bit cheesy but was nice and avoided anyone thinking they were being edited from the list.

PostBellumBugsy Wed 28-Nov-12 14:30:54

Sorry to hear that Eliza. sad I think a card sincerely sent to a friend would be a sure fire way to show you thought of them & wished them well - but I guess we'll have to agree to differ on that point.

picketywick Wed 28-Nov-12 14:31:21

We make our own Christmas cards Often funny.

Sparklingbrook Wed 28-Nov-12 14:32:03

And while i am at it I don't really want to receive any especially if there is a round robin letter inside.

judefawley Wed 28-Nov-12 14:35:00

We have just had our first round robin.

Now these, I would miss if they stopped.

We take them to a party every NY and everyone reads out their best, boasty ones.

Sparklingbrook Wed 28-Nov-12 14:36:16

grin A personal letter addressed to me with references to me in it-lovely. A photocopied letter with my name filled in at the top-annoying.

babybythesea Wed 28-Nov-12 14:40:02

postbellum - thanks!
I just really hadn't thought that some of my friends may be sitting there thinking I was being smug or holier than thou by sending that message - got to me a bit because to do anything at all is such a big deal at the moment (things were just about fine until a few months ago but the charity I work for don't need me until April time which is when I'll be having DC2 and I don't get maternity pay so we are having a massive struggle to get by - it's all complicated but horrible ATM, especially with another baby due).
I might have a quiet word with my sister and a couple of close trusted friends and ask them what they genuinely think - they also know me and my motives and situation so they will be honest and tell me how it comes across, rather than worrying too much about a random online forum and what they seem to be judging me for. Of all the things I thought I'd ever be judged for, giving to chairty and saying so wasn't one of them...!!!

Badvocsanta Wed 28-Nov-12 14:42:07

I may only send to elderly relatives next year.
I spent £20 on stamps yesterday! Stamps!
It's mad really.
I doubt anyone will notice.
Am also planning on asking for no gifts next year (for adults). That'll go down well smile

EIizaDay Wed 28-Nov-12 14:42:41

Postbelly. I agree! A card is a lovely thing to receive. A christmas card however (to me) is usually like a factory line object. No thought/imagination/soul.

Send a friend a card on the 23 May: just because you love them or are thinking of them. What an impact that would make. You would really be thinking of them then rather than when the xmas time comes along and you get out your address book and start ticking names off a list.

PostBellumBugsy Wed 28-Nov-12 15:17:53

I could send a card on 23rd May to everyone, but I'd be doing that as well as a Christmas card - not a bad idea though. I'd still have to get out the address book & tick the names off, because I'd get in a muddle if I didn't. Doesn't mean I think any the less of my friends because I have to be organised about how I send the cards though!

EIizaDay Wed 28-Nov-12 15:24:08

OK Postbellum. We are on different wave lengths obviously smile

chocoluvva Wed 28-Nov-12 15:24:49

I love getting christmas cards and spend ages writing out cards with short individual letters but I'm usually pretty fed up of writing them out after about the third evening.

My favourite round robin was the A-Z of smith family achievements of 2010.
It stretched to three pages including photos.

They are such a proud family.

BartimaeusNeedsMoreSleep Wed 28-Nov-12 16:11:27

I like sending and receiving cards. My sending list is only 20-odd people don't have a lot of friends so it's just close friends and family.

I also write personal notes in each one.

I don't receive that many but I hope this year we get a couple at least because DS loves cards!

amillionyears Wed 28-Nov-12 16:20:42

I cut out giving as many a few years ago. Then some of the kids left home. then some of the more elderly folk died. Result, less cards around the place which now looks more bare than it used to.
Being brutal, you might end up with less cards to give as the years go by anyway.

Mrsjay Wed 28-Nov-12 16:25:28

I just stopped doing it 2 years ago I cut it down 3 yrs ago now i just dont do any the Dds do send to friends and i do buy my parents and sister, My mum and aunt have boxes of cards to write out everyyear to the world and her husband it must drive them bonkers,

I have been in my house nearly 20 yrs and i still get a Christmas card in the post for the man who lived here and tbh i don't even think he is still alive hmm so the sender is just going through their list and aimlessly sending madness

funkybuddah Wed 28-Nov-12 16:27:19

Ive never sent cards (well apart from to my nana and my dp's aprents from the kids with a picture)
Im not fussed about recieving them either, never really put them up lol

flowerygirl Wed 28-Nov-12 16:32:06

I love sending and receiving Christmas cards, it makes me feel all Christmasy!

I personally wouldn't send that message, just don't bother with the cards if you feel that strongly about it. Otherwise it sounds a bit bah humbug!

flowerygirl Wed 28-Nov-12 16:41:10

Also I can't stand the photocopied round robin letters with your name written at the top!

Some favourite 'news' divulged in letters we received in previous years:

Description of a colonoscopy
Removal of a pet dog's mammary glands
A burst sewage pipe spilling out onto their patio

What would possess people to share these stories?! Not exactly festive!

Issy Wed 28-Nov-12 16:48:00

I haven't sent out Christmas cards for about ten years. Amazingly, we still receive a slew of them each year. What I do try to do is make a list of people I want to stay in contact with but haven't spoken to in the last year and send them a non-festive card at some random point before Easter. It feels much more personal that way and more likely to lead to a response, even a meet-up.

DeWe Wed 28-Nov-12 17:40:19

I don't like people saying "we're going to give to charity rather than Christmas cards" because it feels a bit like washing your clean linen in public. Just do it, rather than telling everyone.

I think the problem with not sending cards is there are some people who are lonely and that card on the mantlepiece means a huge amount to them. You won't necessarily know who they are, but being able to see visibly that people have remembered them, even with a generic card, will give them an emotional boost.

We send about 60 cards each year, most of which send us one back. But we don't keep tabs and wouldn't stop sending if someone stopped. Don't generally give them to people we see though, these are friends that have moved away or family.

Someone we knew used to go on about what an effort it was to send all the 200 cards that people would be desperate to get from them and be terribly upset if they didn't get. Eventually someone asked how many they got back... "about 40" they said. We all were silently grin.

LillianGish Wed 28-Nov-12 17:44:05

I wouldn't send cards to people I see all the time, but to distant relatives and friends abroad I think it is a nice way to wish them Merry Christmas. Not everyone is on Facebook (isn't that just a year-long round robin of impersonal boasting and showing off of holiday snaps?) and not all elderly relatives have email.

exoticfruits Wed 28-Nov-12 17:49:01

I actually love cards, letters, round robins, the lot. However I think their day is over because of the cost of postage. I am going to send virtual ones or phone the person.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now